


Only in My Dreams

by Madkat89



Series: Only in My Dreams [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Battle of Five Armies - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Dwarven Ones | Soulmates, Dwarves, Elves, Except for some deserving bad guys, F/M, Female Bilbo Baggins, Filbo - Freeform, Fix-It, Hobbits, Quest of Erebor, Retelling of The Hobbit, Soulmates, The usual Tolkien Hobbit cast, They deserved it, Tolkien, Trolls, fem!Bilbo, removal of memories, too sad couldn't leave it that way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2020-12-27 08:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 167,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21115682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madkat89/pseuds/Madkat89
Summary: They had made it through all the dangers of the quest only for the Line of Durin to fall in the Battle of Five Armies. When given the chance to fix it, even if it removes her from their lives, Bella Baggins jumps at the chance. Now all she has left are her memories of the quest, memories that the rest of the company have forgotten. But fate, it seems, is not quite done with Bella Baggins yet.





	1. The Valar

**Author's Note:**

> Hi All,  
This is my first time venturing into the realm of Tolkien fanfiction. I've been lurking and reading some truly fantastic pieces and finally scraped up the courage to make a contribution of my own. I really love the idea of a female Bilbo, so tell me what you think :) Happy Sunday!

She could never be sure later if the silence that fell was because the battle was over or because her world had stopped. Despite her best efforts, despite the hell and back that she'd gone through to save them, the line of Durin had fallen, taking her heart with it. 

Fili, her heart, had been the first to fall, his life taken by the white monster who had vowed to end Thorin and his line. She had kept going, knowing despite her heartache, how her heart howled and screamed for him, that he would want her to go on living. 

So she'd gone in search of Kili, the one that Fili had spent his life watching over and if the Valar had been kinder, her future brother. She had arrived mere moments too late, just in time to see the light fade from his eyes. Anger and hatred had welled up in her and she had sworn vengeance on the white orc and his line. Closing Kili's eyes, she had struggled onward, searching desperately for Thorin.  
She had found him locked in the battle with Azog and rushed to help him. Together they managed to kill the scourge and for a moment she believed that she might've been able to save at least a tiny piece of her beloved's family. But again, it was too late and his wounds proved to be fatal. He had begged for her forgiveness before passing peacefully into his father's halls. 

Collapsing to her knees, she allowed Sting to slip from her numb fingers. How had it come to this? How had they made it this far and defeated a dragon, only to be brought low by a battle that should've never happened. She murmured, "It should've been me. I should've died, not them." A single tear trailed down her frozen cheek. So lost was she in her misery that she didn't notice the way that all sound had halted or the flare of bright light.

It was the sound of a man clearing his throat that drew her from her stupor. Looking up, she blinked as her eyes watered in the bright light that emanated from the two people standing in front of her. Clearing her throat, she rasped, "He's dead."

The dwarf was dressed in magnificent armor that didn't look like it had been in battle at all, his hair and beard elaborately braided and beaded. His voice was deep but surprisingly gentle when he spoke. "I know, little one. He is safe now."

Feeling more tears well up in her eyes, she valiantly fought them back. The woman knelt next to her, gently brushing away the few tears that had escaped. "Why do you weep, little one?"

Swallowing hard, she focused on the woman and then started coughing, having sucked in the air wrong. In front of her was what appeared to a hobbit woman, her attire as immaculate as that of her companion. Her curls waved joyously around her freckled face, her pointed ears just peeking through. Bella gasped out, "Lady Yavanna!"

The woman turned to what could only be her husband Mahal, her eyes twinkling merrily. "I told you she was bright."

He inclined his head, reaching his large hand out and helping Bella gently to her feet. "You didn't answer my wife's question. Why do you weep? Thorin has treated you shabbily indeed. You have given up everything for them and they cast you out like you were nothing. Since meeting them, you have known nothing but hardship and danger."

Forgetting herself entirely, Bella glared at him. "What I gave up was an empty house filled with ghosts. Yes, I lost a lot of material things but I gained a family. Even if they threw me out, I still claim them as mine and nothing you say will ever convince me otherwise. And I would gladly give everything up for them all over again."

Mahal stroked his beard thoughtfully and looked at Yavanna for a moment before speaking to Bella again. "Everything? Would you truly?"

Bella nodded firmly, "Everything. Even should it be my very life, I would consider it a small price to pay."

He nodded at her waistcoat pocket. "What about that little ring you found beneath goblin town?"

Her hand flew to cover the pocket where the ring was currently nestled. Fighting to draw it out from where it seemed inclined to stay, she reluctantly extended it out on her open palm, fighting against her instincts to hide it away where no one could see it. "Gladly. If it means that they get to live, even if I'm not part of their lives, it is a small price to pay."

The Smith scooped the ring out of her hand and held it up to the light. Examining it closely, he murmured, "You have caused more than enough trouble for such shoddy work." Tossing it into the air, he made a gesture and the ring exploded into a supernova of sparkling dust before fading away entirely.

Bella stared at him open mouthed, torn between disbelief and relief. Although she had never mentioned the ring to anyone, at times it felt like it was whispering to her, trying to subvert her will. She stuttered, "B..b.. but you d..d..didn't promise to bring them back."

He nodded approvingly. "You're right, I didn't. My lady wife was right in saying that you're bright. Do you know why we're so curious about your tears? After that terrible winter and losing your parents, we heard you vow to never cry for yourself again. And you haven't, no matter what hurtful things people said or did to you over the years, you never shed a tear. Even on the quest during which time my children were less than gallant." He frowned at this. "But still, you never cried. So why do you cry now? For yourself or for them?"

Taking a deep breath and fighting to keep her voice from wobbling the way it wanted to, she spoke. "I don't weep for myself. I weep for them. They had so much hardship and so much life ahead of them. Take Thorin for instance. He lost his entire family except for his sister because of Smaug. He had to endure helplessly while his people were suffering and he worked as hard as any ten dwarves just trying to make enough to keep them alive. But endure he did and his people even prospered slightly under his leadership, even if he didn't have a crown. He could've given up so many times, but he never did."

Mahal asked idly, "What about the gold sickness?"

She glared at him. "It took a little bit of time, but he overcame it. That was something that his grandfather never managed to do. He apologized for his actions and I have forgiven him for it. If I, the wronged party, can let it go then there is no call for you to harp on it." She suddenly remembered who she was talking to and flushed, but didn't retract her words or back down.

"What about the younger two then? They didn't survive the fall of Erebor and the dwarves had managed to re-establish themselves by the time they came along."

Her rage died. "Yes, they didn't have it quite as bad as the rest did. But they had something even heavier. They were their people's hope for the future. Do you know what a heavy burden that is? They have been watched their entire lives, told that they have to be examples for their people, that they must act a certain way, that everyone was looking up to them. They had the weight of a people's expectations on their shoulders since before they walked. But they were not bitter, no, they wanted a better life for their people. Despite their burdens, they still managed to carry joy in their heart. How many times did they manage to cheer up the company with their antics, preventing us from coming to blows more than once, I'm sure. And their hearts were open enough to recognize love, even if they weren't paired with dwarves. I was blessed to have Fili's affection for as long as I did. I never took that for granted. They should've had so much more time to live and fulfill their people's expectations like I'm sure that they would've done had they just lived."

Mahal's fierce expression softened. "Oh daughter, your heart is large. I will bring them back, but it requires a price. Can you live knowing that they live but have forgotten about you. Because the price for their lives will be the company's memories of you on the quest. It will be as if you were never there."

"Can I still see them, even from afar?"

He shook his head sadly, "No, you must return to the Shire and never speak a word of what happened. If it comes to light about your involvement in the quest and restoration of the line of Durin, my blessing will be removed and things will return to the way they were."

Paling, Bella said flatly, "They'll be dead, you mean."

"Yes. I'm sorry, but that's the way it has to be."

She nodded, her face resolute. "Then do what you must. It will be enough to know that they still live, even if I am not there to watch over them."

Smiling, Yavanna came up and twined her hand with Mahal's. "You have a generous heart, my daughter. I offer you this boon. If your dwarves should recover their memories of you without any mortal help, then you may reunite with your dwarves without losing them again. Should this happen, you will share the lifespan of your beloved. Should they not recover their memories, you will live out your days as a hobbit would."

Nodding, Bella smiled. "Thank you, lady mother. You have given me hope at least. Thank you, both of you, for the boons that you have granted this day. But what about Gandalf? Surely he'll ask questions about me."

The Smith scowled slightly, but there was a fondness to it. "Nosy wizard. It's all right, we'll handle it. Safe travels home, little one."

A blinding light appeared around the two Valar and Bella had to close her eyes. When she opened them, she was on the outskirts of Dale, the pack that she had abandoned in her flight from Erebor sitting innocently at her feet. Looking around, she realized that the battle was over, isolated groups of men, dwarves, and elves working to mop up what little bit of resistance was left. Whispering her thanks to Yavannah, she slipped on the pack and turned her back on Erebor and the battlefield and walked away, disappearing unnoticed in the chaos.


	2. After the Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein we see the fates of the Dwarves

Fili came awake screaming.

The last thing that he remembered was falling into Azog's trap on Ravenhill. How then was he alive? He swung blindly at the hands that were restraining him, only to stop at the barked command in Khuzdul. Freezing, he took stock of his surroundings. He was in what appeared to be a healing tent, his torso swathed in bandages, held down by two dwarrow that he didn't recognize. He scowled at them and they backed off, hastily holding up their hands. Scanning the tent, he found himself the only one occupying it. This only lasted until the tent flap was shoved roughly open and Kili and Oin stormed inside.

Relief washed over him at the sight of his brother and the company healer. He cried, "Kili, you're alive!"

A grin broke over the younger dwarf's face. "And you've finally woke up, sleeping beauty. We were starting to get worried. But why were you screaming?" His hand dropped to his sword hilt as he scanned the room for a threat. 

Pushing up to a sitting position and ignoring the pain as well as Oin's scowl, he said, "I don't know what happened. The last thing I remember was Azog taunting Thorin about me. How am I even alive?"

Releasing his sword, Kili strode over and perched on the edge of the cot. "It was Ori of all people that saved you, can you believe it? He managed to follow us up the hill and arrived just in time to hit Azog in the eye with a stone from his slingshot right before he was going to stab you. You ended up falling quite a distance though, although thankfully not too far before a broken outcropping stopped you. It's a miracle that you survived, Thank Mahal!"

Struggling to comprehend the story, something felt off, he asked, "What about the rest of the company? Uncle? I take it the battle is over."

Kili's grin grew even wider. "It was a close call, Bolg almost got me. Tauriel arrived just in the nick of time and saved me. Uncle's pretty beat up, he faced Azog alone. If Dwalin hadn't appeared when he did, Azog would've managed to kill him. Instead Dwalin took Azog's head clear off with Grasper and Uncle's been cranky ever since about Dwalin 'stealing his kill'. You know how he is. Oin's insisted that he rest for the next few days as well, which went over swimmingly. Other than that, no major injuries. Bifur lost his axe in the head of a cave troll, it's uncertain at this point whether or not his speech will return. Bofur's arm was broken when a warg fell on him, but Bombur managed to defend him until help came to pull him out. Everyone's resting right now, except for Balin who is helping Dain get everything set up and handled for now."

Fili asked, "What about..." He trailed off, uncertain who he'd just been about to ask about.

Kili looked at him, confused. "What about...?"

Fili shook his head as if to clear it, shoving aside his instincts that were screaming that something was wrong, that there was someone else that he needed to ask about, someone that was extremely important to him. "I don't know, still slightly muddled from the fall, I guess. How long have I been out?"

Kili dismissed it easily, "Oin said that your thoughts might be woolly for a bit. You've been out not quite two days. Everything's looking up. Azog is dead and Erebor is reclaimed. We're home."

A small voice inside insisted that Kili was wrong, that Erebor wasn't his true home, that his home lay elsewhere. Shoving it down, he relaxed gingerly back against the pillows and listened to Kili talk enthusiastically. He could figure it all out once his head was clearer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this chapter is much shorter, but it needed to be written to keep the rest of the story flowing well. (And truthfully, who wasn't curious as to how things would be 'fixed'?"


	3. The distance between us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time flows ever on, even as two hearts yearn

The Shire looked the same as it had when Bella had departed. Had it really only been a little over a year? Her world had changed so much that it was hard to reconcile it with the unchanged land. She had battled monsters, dined with kings and peasants, riddled with a creature and a dragon. She had crossed half of Middle Earth and fallen hopelessly in love along the way. She had gained a family and lost a family. She had seen both greatness and pettiness in all of the other races of Arda.

She chuckled mirthlessly. And what did she have to show for her time away? A coat of mithril, an elvish letter opener, and memories that she wouldn't trade for all the gold in Erebor. She knew that she was making a poor return home and that the other hobbits would gossip about poor Mad Baggins but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Much too thin and grim for a hobbit, she nonetheless was back in the Shire and there was she going to stay, no matter how much the Sackville-Bagginses and other ‘respectable’ hobbits might complain. She didn’t need company, she just needed a safe place to hid from the world and work on patching her shattered heart back together.

Making her way through the familiar landscape, she felt weariness drag at her very bones. She had taken a route around Mirkwood. It had made the journey much longer but much less hazardous and starving. While the other hobbits would be horrified at learning that she’d had two meals a day on a good day, she had been very thankful that the dwarves had shared so much field craft with her on the journey to Erebor. Using the skills they had taught her, she was able to scavenge enough to keep herself comfortably provisioned on the way home.

Although she still felt pain when she thought about any of the company, she'd come to treasure the memories as well. It was as if the various members of the company whispered in her ear instruction and praise as she used the things that they had taught her. She'd taken her time returning home, although she hadn't revisited any of the places that they stopped on the journey to Erebor, unwilling to risk her dwarves health. Although it galled her, she had stopped at the troll hoard cache. She had needed some sort of reward for her journey so that the other hobbits wouldn't ask too many questions. If she returned empty handed from a journey of that duration, the gossip would've reached all the way to Erebor on swift wings. Now she could just say that she was guiding local merchants and had amassed the money that way. With Belladonna's blood flowing strongly through her, the other hobbits would shake their heads and mutter how they knew that any child of hers would be wild and dismiss it in favor of more intriguing gossip.

Rounding the corner that led to Bag End, she wondered if the Gamgees had kept her larder stocked or not. She was not expecting the sight that met her weary eyes. It appeared to be an estate sale at Bag End. Walking calmly closer, she gritted her teeth when she realized that it was indeed exactly what she thought it was. Shoving her cloak hood back, she marched her way over to the person that she knew was responsible. "Cousin Lobelia, why am I not surprised?"

Lobelia dropped the silverware case in surprise. "Bella Baggins. You're supposed to be dead."

Bella smiled widely and Lobelia flinched back. She supposed that it showed more teeth than was strictly polite, but she'd had had a trying few months so she thought it was quite acceptable under the circumstances. "Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated, I assure you."

Lobelia spluttered then her eyes narrowed cannily and her eyes darted slyly from side to side. "How do we even know that you are indeed Belladonna Baggins of Bag End? She's been gone for a long time after all."

Bella rolled her eyes. "You greeted me by name, Lobelia. You know perfectly well who I am."

A chuckle swept through the assembled hobbits who were watching the unfolding scene avidly. Turning bright red, Lobelia sputtered out, "I'm going to fetch Otho and he'll sort this out." She turned and started shoving her way through the crowd. 

Bella called after her, months of being around Fili and Kili rubbing off on her. "Oh, Lobelia?"

Pausing but not turning around, Lobelia snapped, "What?"

She said dryly, "Please leave the silver. That was Grandmother Baggins favorite set."

Her face resembling nothing so much as a mottled tomato, Lobelia quickly pulled out a handful of spoons and dropped them on the nearest surfaces before fleeing down the road.

Bella then turned to the auctioneer. "As I believe that it has been verified well enough that I am indeed Belladonna Baggins and proper owner of Bag End, can I move my furniture back inside where it belongs? I've been guiding some merchants and find myself quite weary and in need of rest."

The auctioneer h’mmed and hawed for a couple of minutes while Bella waited patiently before quietly acceding her claim and the gathered hobbits cheerfully helped her to move her belongings back inside where they belonged, although it would take Bella weeks to get everything sorted back to their proper places. Once everyone had finally left, silence fell over Bag End. After months of being surrounded by noisy dwarrow and then hobbits, the silence was deafening. She thought tiredly that she should be used to silence after months in the wild, but the wild was never truly quiet. Sighing and feeling the start of a headache, she made herself a cup of tea and went to bed. She'd sort out all of the mess tomorrow.

* * *

Kili found him out on the battlements, looking pensively out over the valley at Dale in the distance. "Why are you out here sulking? You should be celebrating with the others! Amad will be here soon and you know that we won't be able to escape her watchful eye for a while after she arrives."

Fili smiled absently at him. "I'm not sulking, I just needed quiet for a minute."

Hopping up onto the edge and letting his legs swing, he eyed his brother closer. "What's on your mind? Your head's not still hurting is it? Do I need to fetch Oin?"

Leaning fully on the battlements, Fili sighed and shook his head. "No, my head is fine. I just, I can't help but feel that something is missing. That someone should be here and they're not."

"Could it be amad?" Kili sobered completely, "Or even adad?"

Fili frowned, "No, although I still miss adad dearly." He trailed off and flushed slightly, "You're going to think I'm crazy, but it feels like I'm missing my heart." He glanced over at Kili expecting mockery but the other dwarf was looking at the sky with a wistful expression.

He said quietly, "No, I know exactly what you mean. I wish Tauriel was here with me. Even though we fought together, it will take time to convince Uncle and that king that our alliance is a good thing. And until that happens, my heart aches for her." Suddenly his eyes lit up. "Maybe you met your One during the quest."

His frown deepening, Fili sighed, "You'd think that I'd remember it, but no person stands out like that to me, no one that I would be willing to walk away from everything for. But my heart keeps insisting that there is."

Hopping down, Kili clapped his shoulder sympathetically. "Well, c'mon. Come have a tankard and we'll rack our brains and see if we can't figure out who it might be. And maybe it is just you missing amad and everything will sort itself once she arrives. Could even be something from where you smacked your head, false memories or something."

Surrendering to his brother's urging, Fili turned his back on the outlook and followed him. "You might be right. Oin will probably know for sure. All of this could be for nothing." Breaking unexpectedly into a sprint, he called over his shoulder, "Race you!"

Kili tore after him, crying, "No fair!!"

* * *

It took Bella three weeks to set Bag End to rights. In the end, she never did recover all her silver from Lobelia. In addition to getting her home into order, she had to prove to the court that she was indeed Belladonna Baggins and that she was still alive. After much too much time and effort spent and more of a spectacle that she ever wanted, she was declared legally alive. There was much screeching from the Sackville-Bagginses, but there wasn't a thing they could do about it. 

It took even more of an effort to reintegrate into hobbit society. She wouldn't have bothered but recalling the Valar's word about the danger to the dwarves if word of her part in their adventures were to reach their ears, she couldn't allow any gossip about the unusual Baggins to travel to beyond the Shire's borders. Although escorting merchants was somewhat less than respectable, it was still degrees better than running off on an adventure to reclaim a mountain from a dragon.

She reentered society slowly, starting with a weekly trip to market to augment her pantry. While there, she would chatter about the weather and catch up on the going ons that she had missed. She politely deflected all the questions about her time away, drawing on memories of Balin and all of his lessons in tact and diplomacy. Then she accepted an invitation from Prim for tea to discuss her upcoming wedding to Drogo. This opened more doors to her. Although she chose what invitations she accepted with utmost care, she made sure to accept an invitation every couple of weeks and keep her presence visible in the Shire, although respectable and low key.

Before she knew it, six months had passed and life had settled back into a routine. Other hobbits greeted her with polite nods and sometimes smiles, but always with courtesy and didn't bother her overmuch. That was the best that she could hope for. She still missed her dwarves every day, but she found that the ache eased gradually with time from a sharp pain to more of a numb longing. Still, she contented herself with imagining what they were doing on any given day while reclaiming Erebor.

It was on the day that the first snow fell that she finally broke down. Faced with months shut in alone in Bag End, the impending loneliness was overwhelming. Whispering a prayer to Yavanna for understanding, she dug out a blank journal. She whispered, "I won't ever speak of them to anyone, but please, let me write down about them. Let me remember that they are real, that they did exist, that the journey did happen, and that I once was the beloved of a prince. I'll burn it come spring, but please at least allow me to have this little while before I bury it forever in my heart."

Although she didn't get an answer in words, a wave of warmth and peace washed over her. Sitting at her desk, she brushed a hand absently over her braid and beads. Mahal had seen fit to leave them with her. She had taken them out and been careful not to be seen with them, but when she was at home for the evening, she carefully rebraided the braid that Fili had painstakingly taught her and threaded in the beads that showed what she had once been to a company of thirteen dwarves.

Taking a deep breath, she dipped her quill and began to write.

* * *

In something that was becoming a habit, Fili found himself on the battlements. The progress that had been made on the city of Dale over the last six months was astounding. In very little time, it would be a center of trade and culture again. Feeling more relaxed, he just leaned against the battlements and soaked in the crisp air. Many dwarves found his love for outdoors incomprehensible. But honestly, Fili had spent very little of his life inside mountains. Not to say that he wasn't comfortable in stone, but he wasn't uncomfortable under the open sky like some of the other older dwarrow were.

Looking at the sky, he predicted that it wouldn't be long until the first snow of the year fell. The clouds were grey and low with the promise of moisture. A fleeting thought passed through his mind about how good it would be for the crops and that snow was something to be happy about. But the thought was gone as soon as he thought it.

Kili chose that moment to appear, a harried look on his face. Chuckling, Fili said, "What's up, nadad? You look hunted."

Leaning against the battlement next to him, Kili groused, "I am being hunted. Uncle can take back my title any time he wants."

"Ah, dwarf lasses after you again? Didn't Amad shoo them away for you?"

"She was cornered by a council member. I've told them that I'm not interested, that I've already found my One, but..."

"But she's an elf and they're all convinced that they can change your mind so that you marry a proper dwarf."

Kili swore in Khuzdul, something that Dis would've washed his mouth out for, even if she heartily agreed. "I'll never give her up, especially now that amad and uncle had given us their blessing and appointed us as liaison."

Fili smiled sympathetically at him. "Nor should you. They should be reminded of the fact that finding your One is finding your greatest treasure. Everything else is dross compared to that."

Kili muttered glumly, "Why're you so cheerful? You've been moping all over the place for weeks and now you chose to be cheerful? And how come you aren't being hunted?"

Fili shrugged. "I don't know, I just feel like something is about to change, for the better. As for the lasses chasing me? They get an up-close look at what it's like to be part of the royal family."

Kili roared with laughter, "You don't mean?"

"Yes, long tours of overseeing the kingdom, dusty sweaty work, and council meetings so dry they could outlast dried provisions. So far, none of them have decided it was worth a second try."

"Wow, that's cold, stone cold. I've got to remember that."

"It's either that or take them to weapon training with Dwalin. They're usually all dressed up to impress me and don't want to get their finery dirty. And you know how well he tolerates idlers around the training grounds."

"Yeah, not at all. Anyways, Uncle was looking for you."

Fili smiled at him, "I'd better not keep him waiting then." Turning and making his way back inside Erebor, he missed the first snowflake descending from the clouds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that this qualifies for the last bit of set up, should be getting to the main part of the story now. Enjoy!  
Khuzdul  
Nadad = brother


	4. First Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dwarves arrive at Bag End

Dipping her quill, Bella took a deep breath. She quickly wrote the title that had been floating around in her brain for days. There and back again: A hobbit's tale.

Closing her eyes to gather her thoughts, she went back to that bright spring morning that had changed her life.

* * *

After being trapped inside her admittedly cozy hobbit hole all winter, Bella was glad to be out in the fresh spring air. After a morning of planning her garden, Lobelia was still dying for the secret of her prizewinning tomatoes, ha!, she decided to bring out a book and enjoy the spring day from the comfort of her front bench. She had barely begun what a shadow fell rudely over her pages. Looking up to give Lobelia the sharp edge of her tongue, she was surprised to find a stranger, what appeared to be a man in a pointy hat and grey robes standing in her front garden.

Her shock almost rendered her speechless but years of manners ingrained into her came to her rescue and she blurted, "Good Morning!"

His bushy eyebrow lifted at this. He leaned harder on his staff and said mildly, "What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

"All of them at once," said Bella. "And a very fine morning to read out of doors, in the bargain.

Gandalf grumbled, "To think that the day would come when I am 'good morninged’ by Belladonna Took's daughter."

Her mother had been an adventurous hobbit, so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that this stranger knew her from somewhere else. Still, when she stared at him, she was swamped by memories of the party tree and colorful fireworks from when she was a faunt. Finally, she ventured slowly, "Gandalf."

"Ah, so you do remember me then."

"You made the most marvelous fireworks when I was a faunt for Old Took's party."

He grumbled, "Well, there's that at least."

Bella offered him a saucy grin. "You're also known for luring respectable lads and lasses off into the blue for adventures. You've been labeled a disturber of the peace around here. That's quite a serious offense, I hope you'll know."

His eyes twinkled at her. "Well, as it just so happens, Bella Baggins, that's precisely what I'm in need of."

She tilted her head at him, "A serious offense?"

He scowled at her, "Are you being particularly obtuse on purpose? I am in need of someone to go on an adventure."

Although Bella's heart jumped at this, she hastily pushed it down. She had too many responsibilities to hie off into the blue for who knows how long. Gathering her book, she stood up. She said quietly, "I'm afraid that you'll find nothing like that here. Maybe try over in Breeland or some of the Tooks. Good Morning." With a final nod, she turned and slipped back inside, shutting the door silently in the hopes of closing out her yearning for something more as well.

Gandalf murmured, "What a lot of things you use good morning for, young Bella. But still, I think I shall give you what you truly wish for." Making his way over to the door, he chuckled at he carefully drew a mark on the round green door. Nodding to himself, he muttered, "That will do nicely indeed. A quest is exactly what you need."

Chuckling quietly to himself, he made his way back onto the path and headed for the edge of the Shire. He had a message to send to a company of dwarves who were waiting for their burglar. Still, he knew that Thorin would never expect the burglar that he had found for them. He chuckled again, ah, if only he could see the dwarf king's face when he first met the very prim and proper Miss Baggins.

Yes, things were working out well indeed.

* * * 

She had gone to the market the morning after her unsettling encounter with Gandalf, shopping for fresh odds and ends. One of her best finds had been a fresh fish for supper. But despite her discreet inquiries, no one said anything about Gandalf being in the area or talking to other hobbits. She was unsure if she should worry about this or if it was a sign that he had taken her advice and gone in search of a Took.  
Still, she decided to put the matter out of her thoughts and enjoy her evening in peace. Having made an excellent meal from the trout, although there was no one to appreciate the culinary genius besides herself. She was just about to sit down when the first knock came. 

She had received a rather large shock when she opened the door. She had been expecting Lobelia coming to rant at her about talking with Gandalf or Prim come to sigh over Drogo again, maybe even a Took cousin come to gleefully raid her pantry and try to coax her off onto an adventure. She had not been expecting a large, well-armed dwarf to barge into her house without even so much as a by your leave after curtly giving her his name. 

Before she could even start to process what had happened, he was in her house and had managed to devour her dinner. While she tried to find the words to protest his presence, there was another knock on the door. Hoping against hope that it was Gandalf or even Lobelia, she hurried to answer the door only to find another strange dwarf there. This one was less alarming than the first one, having a kindly almost grandfatherly look to him. Imagine her shock when he bashed heads with the other dwarf already in her home. The one with her mother's cookie jar stuck on his hand, don't think that she hadn't noticed that little fact.

Feeling frustrated, she tried to catch their attention but they were too ensconced in raiding her pantry to pay her much mind. Before she could protest more firmly, the doorbell rang yet again. Perhaps there was some truth to the saying that the third time's the charm. When she opened the door, she was not prepared for the sight that met her eyes. Two handsome dwarves, more than likely brothers, stood there.

They bowed and introduced themselves and she barely registered the dark haired one mangling her name. She was so flustered that she promptly blurted, "You can't come in, you've come to the wrong house" and tried to shut the door. However, they easily blocked the attempt and asked if it had been cancelled, their demeanor disappointed. She found herself wondering crazily for a split second if people often cancelled things on the pair and didn't bother to tell them.

She sputtered, "Nothing's been cancelled." and was about to add that there had been nothing arranged in the first place. However, the dark-haired dwarf, had he said that his name was Kili, beat her to the punch again. He grinned widely and exclaimed, "That's a relief." He then proceeded to push rudely past her. He was swiftly followed by the blond dwarf who for reasons beyond her ken, immediately began handing her weapons, although he did at least warn her to be careful with them as they'd been sharpened recently. What kind of person breaks into a person's house and immediately begins burying them in sharp weapons? He did remark about the niceness of her home, earning him at least points for a minimum of good behavior, which was immediately undone by his brother wiping his muddy feet on her mother's glory box.

Before she could dump the weapons and box his ears, the first dwarf, Dwalin, came and fetched him to help them move the table that had taken a full two dozen hobbits to move into there in the first place. The genuine warmth in the younger dwarf's voice when her greeted the large warrior surprised her but eased her anxiety a hair. After all, she was a woman alone and her place had just been invaded by four large male dwarves. She was contemplating slipping out and fetching help when she caught Balin saying something about fitting more in. She exclaimed, "Everyone?! How many more are there?"

Once again, she was thoroughly ignored. Her frustration soared to new heights and she was tempted to kick all of the infuriating dwarves in the shins, not caring if they carried enough weapons to stock an entire armory between them. In was then that she heard yet another knock on the door and she exclaimed through gritted teeth, "Oh no!"

Marching towards the door, she shrieked, "There's nobody home." Her arms suddenly protested their heavy load and she tossed the weapons aside, having reached the boiling point. "Now just go away and bother somebody else!" She wrenched open the door planning to give whoever was standing there the sharp edge of her tongue. If this was supposed to be a joke, it was far from amusing. To her shock, a whole pile of dwarves fell in onto her rug from where they'd been leaning on her front door. She looked up from the dwarf pile just in time to see Gandalf bend over and look in. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. She should've known that the wizard was behind all of this.

* * *

She could hear the dwarves making free with her pantry in the other part of Bag End but didn't take her eyes off of Gandalf from where he stood in front of her fireplace in the study. After several minutes of silence, she realized that she was going to have to speak first. "What is all this then, Gandalf? I have been a terrible hostess because of you. If you had let me known that they were coming, I…"

Gandalf blew a smoke ring and questioned mildly, "You would've what, young Bella? Would you have even let them into your house?"

Bella fidgeted but one of the few things that her father had insisted on what honesty. "I wish I could say that I would, but I probably wouldn't've. But still, you must admit that it's rather frightening to have strangers barreling in your home when you're a single woman all alone. Things like that just don't happen here in the Shire, Gandalf! And why did you send them to my place? I admit that it's better than say Lobelia's, but wouldn't the Tooks or Brandybucks be better?"

Gandalf puffed on his pipe for a moment before blowing another ring. "I'm sorry for the fright you endured, I must admit that I did not take a few things into consideration. As for why they are here, why don't you hear them out? If nothing else, you'll have a fine story to share with your mother when you reach the Gardens about how you entertained thirteen dwarves for an evening. And at best, you might find something that you'll treasure more that your quiet little hobbit hole here in Hobbiton."

"I don't like being lied to, Gandalf. That's one thing my father always insisted on was honesty. I will hear your dwarves out, but if you try to trick me into something again, you will be out on your ear. It's better to know up front how things are going to be then to run into nasty surprises along the way because someone didn't think to mention important things because then you wouldn't react the way that they wanted you to act. So, I want your word, Gandalf. Truth between us, no matter how inconvenient."

He sighed, "You ask for much, young hobbit. The truth is ever a dangerous thing."

She snorted but couldn't hide a tiny smile. "I'm not asking you to spill everything to me. I'm just asking that you be truthful about me and what you want me to do rather than trying to manipulate me into doing what you want me to."

He grinned at her. "Yes, I've definitely chosen well. Very well, Mistress Baggins. At this point, all I want you to do is listen to Thorin and his company with an open mind before making any decisions. Can you do that?"

She tilted her head, "Thorin? I don't believe I met a dwarf with that name."

"He isn't here yet, but will be along presently. Still, I am being unbearably rude and keeping you from your hostess duties."

Bella grumbled but couldn't really argue with the wizard. She really was being unreasonably rude to her guests by hauling one away by the ear like a naughty fauntling to give a lecture to while leaving the rest of them to fend for themselves. It was inexcusably rude of her and her father would’ve had a fit. She made her way back into the hallway just as a young dwarf came searching for her. He had an empty plate in his hands and he asked shyly, "Excuse me, where should I put my plate?"

Pleased to see at least one of the company had manners, she was about to reply when the blond dwarf swooped in and snagged the plate. To her horror, he then proceeded to throw it down the hall. To her relief, another dwarf caught it. However, her relief was short lived as he turned and tossed it into the kitchen. Horrified, she exclaimed, "What are you doing? Those were my mother's! They're over a hundred years old!" Her mother had adored those plates, a set handed down through the Baggins and she loved to bring them out on special occasions.

They ignored her completely. As more dishes flew past her, the other dwarves started to stomp their feet rhythmically and clash their knives together. Dodging plates, she called, "Can you not do that, you'll blunt the knives." She had just had them sharpened. The Shire had no blacksmiths so you had to make a trip to Bree if you needed any metalwork done. It had cost a pretty penny as well. Instead of stopping, the hatted dwarf said mockingly, "Did you hear that, lads? She said that we'll blunt the knives."

She stood there dumbfounded as the dwarves suddenly started singing, throwing the food and plates around at an even faster pace. She looked pleadingly at Gandalf but he was busy chuckling at the dwarves’ antics. She didn't hear any crashes, but the dwarves were singing so loudly that she wasn't sure that she would've anyway. She headed to the kitchen dreading what she would find. She reached it just as the dwarves finished singing. She was surprised to find that the kitchen was immaculate and the group burst into uproarious laughter at her shocked expression.

Feeling her face flush with rage, she whirled to face Gandalf, her hands on her hips. "You wanted me to keep an open mind? Well, I have had enough. I've had thirteen people enter my home without waiting for so much as a please enter, strangers that I do not know and am unsure if I am safe around. They have rearranged my things as they pleased, raided my food and ale without a question. They then proceed to throw objects that I cherish, my mother's plates, Gandalf! Around as if they are cheap baubles. When I ask for them to be careful, they mock me. I am done and I want all of you out before I return."

Turning, she fled down the hall, pausing only long enough to grab her cloak from the rack. Wrenching the door open, she shoved past a startled dwarf who had just been about to knock. Slinging the cloak around herself, she headed up over the hill. She needed time to cool down and recover from this humiliation. How dare Gandalf put her in this position? She thought that he had cared for her mother, but now she had to wonder. As she marched away, she knew that her father would've been horrified at her rude outburst and the way that she had treated her guests, although she believed that he would've been appalled by their behavior as well.

She liked to think that her mother would've taken her side as well, maybe even walloped a few of the dwarves upside the head with her cast iron skillet.

* * *

Thorin walked into chaos. Making his way into the house through the door that the hobbit who had nearly run him over had left open, he followed the sound of arguing voices. There he found twelve dwarves and Gandalf arguing over who was to blame and what was the reason behind the blame. Tired and frustrated from dealing with the maze that was the Shire, he bellowed for silence. The shocked surprise on their faces would've been amusing if he'd been in less of a foul mood. Searching through those gathered, he barked, "Balin, what in Mahal's name is going on?"

"Well, your majesty, that's what we're trying to figure out." The old dwarf said calmly.

Feeling that this was going to take a bit to untangle, he sat down and motioned for Kili to bring him some ale. "Start at the beginning and let's see if we can't figure out what went wrong enough to send a hobbit fleeing from his hole."

It took a few minutes to sort out what had happened. Rubbing his throbbing temple, he said quietly, "Let me get this straight. After invading her home with barely a by your leave, without waiting for her to invite you in, you proceed to take full run of her home, assuming that Tharkun, who is notoriously closemouthed, has told her what was going on. May I point out that her confusion was probably a good sign that she didn't? Balin, you at least should have wit enough to have picked up on it. After dragging Tharkun off to talk to him, when she returns, you help clean up, by throwing her dishes around and singing about all the things that she hates?"

Dwalin grumbled, "Just trying to get a measure of the lass. How is she supposed to burgle from a dragon if she's upset by every little thing?"

Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to keep from shouting, knowing that it would only aggravate his quickly growing headache. "Let me phrase it this way. Tonight, all of you have entered a dam's home without permission. You have raided her pantry without promise of replacement. You then proceeded to handle her possessions in a way that was distressing enough for her to ask you to stop, not only her possessions but her family heirlooms. Although I know that you meant no true malice with your song and cleanup, there are obviously cultural differences that you didn't understand, which added to the upset. To top it off, you then let the dam leave, alone, at night, and in distress. What would you do if this had happened to a dam in your family?"

All of the company looked down, ashamed. Gandalf sighed, "I'll go retrieve Miss Baggins."

Thorin shook his head sharply. "You are the reason behind this whole mess, Tharkun. You could've avoided this by informing her that we were coming or by telling us that is was a woman's home that we were gathering at."

Shuffling his feet, Fili straightened his shoulders. "I'll go. I'm the one who started throwing the plates and made everything worse."

Thorin nodded, "Do that and escort her safely back here. Make sure that you apologize for your actions. Your amad would have your beard for your behavior. I heartily hope that all of your behavior this evening has not dissuaded her from the quest, we do not have time to find another burglar. And Tharkun? While my sister son is fetching her, you will tell us exactly what Mistress Baggins does and doesn't know."

Pausing only long enough to retrieve his weapons, Fili slipped out the door and went in search of the tiny hobbit lass. While he'd only meant to tease the comely lass, he felt truly bad that he had upset her. A dam should always feel safe in their own homes and if what his uncle said was true, they had made her feel unsafe and disrespected. He winced as he thought that. Thorin hadn't been lying when he said that his lady mother would take his beard over his actions, she'd more than likely take his braids as well. Still, he had the entire quest to make it up to her. He just had to find her first.

He found himself thanking Mahal for his excellent night vision. The hobbit was much harder to track than dwarves were. Her steps were light and at points he almost lost her footprints entirely. Still, he persevered and eventually found her sitting next to a stream. She was sitting on the banks, her feet dipped into the stream. She was humming quietly, weaving some white moon flowers together from a pile of them in her lap. The moon was full and the light streamed gently over her, highlighting her dainty features and making her seem almost ethereal. He stood there, unwilling to move and disrupt the enchanting picture.

He was startled when she called softly, "I know that you're there. You can come out, my temper has cooled and I apologize for my outburst. It was quite rude of me, especially after you had cleaned all of the dishes."

He walked over and sat cross-legged next to her. She didn't look at him but kept weaving the flowers together. He examined it closely but couldn't figure out what it was. He asked quietly, "What are you making?"

"A flower crown. My mother taught me how to make them when I was little. I've always found it to be soothing."

"We're sorry for the way we behaved. We didn't mean to upset you. But we realize that we took it too far. My mother would be ashamed of my behavior this evening."

Sighing, she met his eyes for the first time since he'd sat down. Their color reminded him of emeralds, cut elaborately to show the full range of greens that all emeralds possessed. She admitted, "The truth is, we're both at fault. I was sorely lacking as a hostess this evening. Even if you weren't expected, I could've reacted with much more grace and poise. My father wouldn't be too happy with my behavior either. So why don't we agree to start over?"

He nodded and bowed at the waist, "Fili son of Vili at your service."

She smiled warmly at him, "Belladonna Baggins at yours, though you may call me Bella."

He grinned back at her. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

They lapsed into comfortable silence. He pulled out a knife and started sharpening it while she returned to her flower crown. Nodding at it, she asked, "I thought you said that you’d just sharpened them?"

He nodded, "I keep mine sharp and ready. This is one of Kili's. I nicked it so I could sharpen it properly. He's an expert archer but he often forgets to care for his knives."

"Whereas you work mostly with blades, swords and knives from the looks of it. Kili is your brother? Do all dwarven families name their children with similar sounding names?"

He paused in sharpening to look at her. "How can you tell that I'm a swordsman? Very few outside of dwarves can tell what weapons a person favors."

She gave him a crooked smirk. "It's your hands, they are covered with tiny scars. On a hobbit, that's a sign of someone that spends a lot of time either whittling or cooking. However, on the few dwarves that come through, I've noticed that everyone's hands look different depending on what weapon they use."

He stared at them, "Really? You can tell that?"

She giggled, "No, you dumped your armory on me when you first arrived, remember?"

He chuckled and started sharpening it again. "I see that I'm going to have to keep a close eye on you. And yes, similar sounding names tend to run in families. Balin and Dwalin are brothers, as are Gloin and Oin. Dori, Nori, and Ori are half-brothers who share the same mother, Lady Ri. Bofur and Bombur are brothers and Bifur is their cousin, all from the Ur clan."

Finishing her crown, she placed it on her head and then climbed to her feet. "I'm assuming that they sent you after me to make sure that I'm safe and not about to get eaten by anything, not that there's anything larger than a rabbit running around anywhere near here."

He tucked the knife and whetstone back away and stood as well. "That and I wanted to apologize…"

She interrupted him before he could continue, "Which you've already done and we've moved on." She sighed, "I guess we'd better head back. My father always warned me that my temper would get me in trouble. I'm terribly embarrassed but as my mother always said, 'No one's ever died from being embarrassed'. I'll just have to swallow my pride and apologize. I can't imagine what that poor dwarf I nearly ran over must think of me."

Fili said sheepishly, "That would be Uncle Thorin. He's not mad at you, although he's rather unhappy with the lot of us." He hesitated before continuing, "I know that he'll seem stern, but Uncle really is a good dwarf. He's done and suffered a lot for our people. I'm not saying that you have to do what he asks, but please at least hear him out."

She looked at him, curious. "You know, this is the second time that someone has asked me to at least hear your company out. What in the world are you all up to?"

Fili looked both troubled and excited, "Uncle will explain everything. If I tried, I'd just make a muddle of it. I've eaten enough boot leather tonight from sticking my foot in my mouth, I'd like to avoid doing it again."

She laughed but let it drop. Reaching Bag End, she sighed before straightening her shoulders and heading inside to meet her fate. Fili took her cloak and hung it up and she was charmed by the fact that he did have manners after all. Making her way into the parlor where the rest of the company were gathered, she looked at the assembled dwarves looking anxiously at her. Making her way to the center of the room, she curtsied deeply. "I apologize for my dreadful outburst earlier. It was incredibly rude and I do beg your pardon."

The one dwarf whom she hadn't met yet spoke up. "Not at all, Mistress Baggins. I'm afraid that my men and I must apologize for the circumstances of this evening. It will not happen again, I assure you."

She smiled at him, "I believe that we should write it off as a cultural misunderstanding on all sides. You must be Thorin. Have you eaten?"

He just stared at her, unable to reconcile this charming creature with the anxious fussy one that the others had told him about. Glancing around, he saw that the others were just as dumbfounded as he was. Clearing his throat and pulling his thoughts together, he said, "I have not. I did not wish to infringe upon your hospitality any more than has been done already this evening."

She exclaimed, "Goodness, that will never do. It's a disgrace for a hobbit to let anyone go hungry in her home. I'll just go make you a plate real quickly and then we can get down to what has brought you to the Shire, Master Thorin." Not giving him a chance to reply, she bustled out of the room. 

As soon as she was gone, all the others turned their attention to Fili. Bofur breathed, "What did ye do? It was like she was a different lass from earlier."

Settling himself down near the hearth, Fili shrugged. "I don't know. She seemed to have calmed down by the time I found her. I apologized. Then we came back here."

Kili frowned disappointedly. "That's all? No yelling or anything? I thought for sure that she would at least slap you."

Fili just shook his head as he saw coin pouches being tossed back and forth. "Like I said, she had already calmed down. I apologized and she apologized and we agreed to start over. I don't understand it, must be a hobbit thing."

She spoke from his elbow, startling him badly. He hadn't heard her return at all. "Hobbits rarely hold grudges. Everyone knows everyone around here and grudges can lead to bad blood. It's happened a few times in our history and no one is eager to see it happen again."

Kili stared at her wide eyed and demanded, "How did you do that?"

Gandalf chuckled, "Hobbits are naturally light footed, Master Kili. They often pass unseen when they wish to."

From where he was sitting and eating, Thorin called, "Give the lass the contract, Balin."

She looked over at the white-haired dwarf, "Contract?"

Fishing in his robes, Balin produced a roll of parchment. "Aye lass. We are in need of a fourteenth member for our quest. Gandalf took it upon himself to find the right person for us. He insists that you're the best."

She took the contract he offered her, curiosity burning in her. "Best at what?"

"Retrieval of lost items." Several of the other dwarves guffawed at this.

Bella paid them little attention, reading through the contract. She murmured absently, "What is this quest even about?"

Balin said quietly, "We seek to reclaim our home, lassie. We've read the portents and they said that now is the time to retake Erebor."

She stopped reading and stared at him. "Erebor, the lonely mountain, is your home? The same Erebor that fell to the wicked Smaug a century and a half ago?"

"Aye, but how do you know all of this? Hardly anyone knows or cares about the plight of the dwarves of Erebor anymore."

Her curiosity even greater now, she turned back to the contract. "My father was a great scholar and he loved to spin tales of the different people of Arda to me when I was a faunt. My mother was quite adventurous, she was a Took after all, and we used to pretend to slay the giant wyrm. But that was long ago and most of my memories of it have faded."

Balin smiled, "It sounds like your parents were special people."

"Indeed they were. I miss them dearly." Bella finished reading the contract and then skimmed it again just to make sure that she hadn't missed anything. "You write a thorough contract, Master Balin. But incineration?"

Bofur piped up, "Oh aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye. Just think giant furnace with wings. But it'll be quick, a flash of light, searing pain, and then you're nothing but ash."

Ignoring Bofur's teasing attempt to rile her up, her Took cousins were just as bad if not worse, she repeated. "Incineration? Please tell me that you are not planning on facing Smaug."

Dwalin spoke up, "I object to this. The wild is no place for gentle folk who cannot fight nor fend for themselves."

Bella would've scolded the gruff warrior but there was genuine concern on his face, so she let it go.

Gandalf spoke up, "We will not be facing Smaug head on, that is something that can only be done with an army and even that is no guarantee of success. There is a side door. Your task will to go in and retrieve the Arkenstone. Once you have done that, Thorin can call his people to fight for him."

She scowled at him, "Gandalf, I'm not a thief. I've never stolen a thing in my life!"

He chuckled, "It must've been another faunt that managed to raid Farmer Maggot's mushrooms and escape successfully. And we have another advantage. The dragon is familiar with the smell of dwarf but the smell of hobbit is all but unknown to him. You can be in and out before he even stirs."

She looked at him doubtfully. "And if I manage to take this rock."

Thorin interrupted, "The Arkenstone, the king's jewel."

She amended her words as it seemed important to him, "If I manage to liberate this Arkenstone, I refuse to steal anything, it will somehow magically give Master Thorin the ability to call up an army of dwarves?"

Balin stepped in, "I think it's time that you were properly introduced. Mistress Baggins, this is Thorin Oakenshield son of Thror son of Thrain, king in exile. If he were to hold the Arkenstone, our people would have no choice but to answer his call."

She sighed and rubbed her forehead wearily. Of course she had a dwarf king in her house, one that she had almost run over as she'd run out of her own home. Could this day get any worse? Knowing what she knew now, she went slowly over the contract a third time, making sure that she went over every word.

While she read, Thorin leaned over and murmured to Gandalf, "I do not like this. I cannot guarantee her safety."

Gandalf nodded, "Understood."

Thorin continued, "Nor will I be responsible for her fate. I already have too many people resting on my shoulders. I cannot accept the fate of yet another."

Blowing a smoke ring, Gandalf murmured, "Agreed."

Once she was satisfied that she fully understood the contract, she stared into the crackling fire, nibbling on her lip while she thought. The idea of a hobbit going on an adventure was ludicrous. Still, the memories of her parents whispered in her ears. Her mother whispered excitedly about all the things that she would see and discover. Her father spoke firmly but kindly of her duty to help those who had less and to stand up for what was right. Looking around, she saw Bag End through new eyes. Fili had commented earlier that she had a nice home, but she hadn't thought anything beyond it. Now she could hear the longing in his voice for a place of his own, a place that he could call home and be proud of.

Taking a deep breath, she inquired, "Would it be alright if I spoke privately with Gandalf before I decide?"

Balin smiled reassuringly, "Aye lassie."

Gandalf followed her out into the hallway and far enough away that the dwarves could not hear her easily. "If I go on this quest, could you guarantee that I'll return?"

Gandalf's expression saddened and he looked old, "No, I cannot. And even if you do return, Belladonna Baggins, you will not be the same hobbit that left the Shire."

"And if I don't go?"

"It is more likely that the quest will fail entirely and that the dwarves will never reclaim Erebor. But I will not force you or trick you into this. This is your decision and no one else's, young Bella."

She said quietly, "Give me a minute alone please. This is not a decision to be made lightly."

He nodded and returned to the dwarves. She stood there in the quiet hall and listened to the muted chatter and laughter of the assembled dwarves. In the end, she signed the contract. There was no other choice left for her, not really.

Returning to the parlor, she gently laid the signed contract in front of him. "There are plenty of guest rooms available for you and your men tonight and food enough for breakfast in the morning. Will you stay the night?"

Passing the signed contract to Balin without looking at it, he nodded. "We'll be grateful for a good night's rest before we depart on the morrow. We'll leave early tomorrow, so be ready."

"If that is the case, I must pack. Gandalf can show you to the rooms when you are ready to retire. Til the morrow." Without waiting for a reply, she slipped away, unsure if she'd just made the biggest mistake of her life or not.   
After several attempts, she finally managed to get the pack her mother had used for traveling packed to her satisfaction. Knowing that when Thorin said early he more than likely meant crack of dawn, she turned in. She was just drifting off when she heard the dwarves singing again, this time one that was hauntingly lovely. With tears pricking at her eyes, she finally succumbed to sleep.

* * *

Bella laid aside her quill with a sigh. The hour was growing late and her eyes were weary. She hadn't realized how exhausting reliving the journey would be. She chuckled as she remembered that first meeting. What a naive girl she had been, thinking that Gandalf had just left quietly that day. She wouldn't discover her mistake until over a day later, when a group of dwarves joined her unexpectedly for dinner. What had seemed like outrageous behavior on the dwarves part had been really quite mild, in fact, Dwalin had been downright reserved that first night. Her reactions had been excessive. It really was a miracle that everything had worked out and she had signed the contract.

Capping the inkwell, Bella took a moment to chuckle. If she knew then what she knew now, would she have opened the door? She shook her head fondly. Of course she would've opened the door, she'd come to love every single one of the rapscallions in the company. She would've been a lot louder about respecting her home though, might have even pinched a few ears in the process. Oh, the look of Dwalin's face if she had dared to do that would've been priceless.

Tucking the book into a drawer and locking it just to be safe, she blew out the candle and retired. As she drifted off, the haunting melody of the song that had started this whole journey wove quietly through her dreams.

* * *

When Fili woke, he felt like something of incredible importance had happened. But try as he might, he couldn't remember what he'd dreamt of the night before. The dream that had been so clear had faded into the mist, leaving him empty. All that he could remember was a crown of moon flowers and eyes that shone like emeralds. Even though it felt like a piece of his heart was missing, warmth lingered from the dream, soothing the ache.

Rising, he crossed over to his desk and drew out a piece of parchment. Letting his mind drift, something that had helped him remember things in the past, he idly sketched. When the pen stopped, he looked closer at what he had drawn. It looked like the pattern for a delicate charm bracelet. There were many places for charms, but only one charm dangled from the bracelet in the picture. It appeared to be a tiny round door that his mind insisted was painted green, a golden knob in its center, and a dwarven rune scratched onto its surface. Perplexed by the odd design, he set it aside to exam later.

Pushing aside the dream for the moment, he started to get ready for the day. It was court day, a day when dwarves could petition the court for resolution in any case and Thorin would not be happy if he missed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: While this is a retelling of The Hobbit, I will definitely be putting my own spin on it. I will be drawing from both the book and the movie. I will also be deviating from the story as I see fit to make the story to work. In my opinion, if the dwarves had entered Bag End like they did with Bilbo with a female hobbit, there would definitely be issues. I am curious to see how Bella grows and develops in this story, as I am never really sure where it is going until I sit down and start writing.  
Just to clarify for the entire work. I do not own the rights to The Hobbit, either book or movie. All credit goes firmly to Tolkien for creating this amazing work. I just like to play in his incredible world.  
Khuzdul  
Tharkun - The dwarves name for Gandalf  
Amad - Mother  
Adad - Father  
Nadad - Brother  
If I missed anything, feel free to let me know.  
And as always, hope that you enjoy!


	5. The Journey Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the short chapter, I've had a migraine for the past few days. Didn't want to let you guys down though. I've already reached over 500 hits on this story, which blows my mind! So thank you for reading and thanks for your patience, I'll have a longer chapter up soon.

When Bella woke up, the world was covered in white with more snow falling gently. Although it was a heavy first snow, it lacked the howling screeching wind that had ushered in the fell winter. Pulling on her dressing robe, she shuffled out into her kitchen and stirred up the banked fire, putting on the kettle for tea. Sitting at the table waiting for the water to heat, Bella sighed. Writing yesterday had been painful yet extremely cathartic. It was like lancing an infected wound, incredibly painful at first but facilitating healing in the end.

The kettle whistled and she rose to fetch it. The sound of the whistling kettle and the sight of it's gleaming copper surface threw her back to the first morning as part of the company.

* * * 

Bella was awake an hour before dawn, unable to sleep any more. Dressing in her rambling clothes, a comfortable pair of trousers, shirt, waistcoat, and a sturdy coat. After writing a quick letter, she headed for the kitchen. Tying her hair back with a spare ribbon, she entered the kitchen. She had expected it to be empty and was surprised to see a pair of dwarves already in there. A portly ginger dwarf that would've made a fine hobbit and a dwarf who's silver hair was elaborately braided. Searching for their names, she finally ventured, "Master Dori, Master Bombur.'" The last one was hesitant and she was ashamed for having not properly learned all of her guests names the night before.

Dori nodded politely, "Good Morning, Mistress Baggins. Why don't you have a seat, we'll be ready shortly."

She did as she was bid, feeling somewhat unsettled. She protested weakly, "I can cook, I'm sorry if I made you feel unwelcome last night. I was just, overwhelmed."

Dori slid a fragrant cup of tea onto the table at the same time as Bombur presented her with a plate of food. He grumbled, "It's no wonder you were overwhelmed. Really, what was Tharkun thinking? Besides, it's been a while since we've had a proper kitchen to work in, so just leave breakfast to us."

Bombur chuckled and nodded, his attention on the several pans he had going.

Cradling the mug in her hands, she inhaled the steam. This wasn't a blend that she used, the fragrance was rich and dark with citrus undertones. Taking a cautious sip, she allowed the rich blend of spices to roll over her tongue, lightened with bright notes of the citrus she had smelled. Setting the mug aside, she took a small bite of the breakfast that Bombur had made. It melted in her mouth, the flavors absolutely incredible. She exclaimed, "These are fantastic. I've never eaten anything like this. And did you blend the tea yourself? How did you keep the spices from overwhelming each other? And the citrus notes make the whole thing just sing. You are both masters at this."

The two dwarves looked at each other, pleased. Dori admitted quietly, "Tea making is not my craft, I'm a tailor. Bombur is a chef of some renown though."

Bella stared at him incredulously, "Only some renown? Both of you would be hailed as masters here in the Shire. There is little that hobbits care for more than food and drink and you are both artists. You could easily become wealthy if you lived here."

Dori's eyes lit up for a moment before he sighed. "Maybe after the quest. I've always wanted to have my own tea shop, though."

She suddenly remembered the quest as well. Sitting here in her quiet kitchen for possibly the last time, she was starting to wonder if she had made the right choice. Sighing mentally, she put the thought aside, it was too late to back out now. Quickly finishing up the delicious meal, she stood. She said quietly, "Thank you for the meal, I've seldom had better. I have an errand to run, so I'll leave the kitchen in your capable hands. Please, use whatever food you need and make sure that you take plenty to pack. No sense it going to waste if I'm not back in a timely manner. Should I meet you back here? I'm uncertain how long my errand may take and don't want to hold you up."

The other dwarves were starting to trickle in, so Dori said hurriedly, "Meet us at the Green Dragon at 11. If your business is done before that, simply come back here." 

She quickly exited the kitchen, brushing past Fili as he entered. She gave him a brief smile and then made her way down the hall to grab her pack.

* * *

The shrieking whistle of the kettle drew her back to reality. If she had realized how fleeting that easy early morning camaraderie would be, she would've stayed a little longer. Still, no use regretting things long past. Well, she did regret one thing. She had never managed to get Dori's tea recipe. If he ever did open a tea shop, she would have to order some from him.

Making herself a small breakfast of toast and eggs, she forced herself to eat. Ever since the quest, no, ever since the battle, she'd struggled to eat, having no appetite. But she tried to keep at least the appearance of normalcy. Instead of rushing to her desk and book as she wanted to, she cleared her front walk and waved to other hobbits doing the same. A gaggle of faunts sprinted by with sleds, tossing snowballs at each other, their bright laughter filling the air and bringing a small smile to her face.

The task was quickly accomplished and she found herself back inside Bag End shortly. After the laughter of the energetic faunts, her hole seemed lonelier than ever. Shaking it off, she made herself some hot chocolate and stoked the fire in her study before finally sitting at the desk like she'd been itching to. Making sure that everything was arranged just so, she dipped her quill and started to write again.

* * *

She had arrived late to the Green Dragon and been only to discover that the company had already departed. She had honestly stayed too long at the Gamgees playing with the little ones, but who knew when or if she would ever see them again? Knowing the route that they would be taking, she took off again, taking shortcuts to catch up to the party. She came upon them after just a few minutes. Utilizing the last of her breath, she called, "Wait, I'm here."

Thankfully Gandalf heard her and pulled his horse to a stop, making the rest of the company pull up. She ran over to the group and gasped, "I'm here." Bending over, she took heaving gasps of breath, trying desperately not to throw up. After several deep breaths, she straightened, only to quell back from the glare that Thorin was directing at her. She squeaked, "I'm sorry."

Thorin growled, "Keep up, Burglar. Next time I'll leave you behind." Looking away before she could respond, he called, "Bring her a pony."

Looking at the ground, she twisted her hands together. To her surprise, it was Dwalin that brought the pony to her and helped her to mount when she whispered that she didn't know how. He simply picked her up and plunked her into the saddle. He ignored her startled squeak and thrust the reins into her hands. Once he was satisfied that she wasn't simply going to fall off the pony, he turned and stomped back over to his pony. The rest of the company had already passed them, so he urged his pony into a trot. She tried to mimic what he did, but the pony didn't move. Feeling the tips of her ears burning from embarrassment, she kicked the pony again harder. She didn't know if she actually got through to it or if it finally noticed that the others were leaving it behind, but it broke into a shambling trot.

She ended up at the back of the line, but she didn't mind. After the glare from Thorin and the silent disapproval of the rest of the company, the back of the line seemed the only proper place to be, even if she was eating the dust of the rest of the company's ponies. After several minutes of riding, Gandalf dropped back until he rode beside her.

He asked quietly, "What kept you?"

Trying to muster up a brave face and failing miserably, she answered just as quietly, "It doesn't matter. I should've been on time and I wasn't. This is my own fault."

Gandalf said comfortingly, "Don't take Thorin's growling to heart. He seems stern but he really is a good dwarf underneath."

She offered him a tiny smile. "My da would've been just disappointed, although maybe not so loud about it. I know that I have some ground to recover, but never underestimate the stubbornness of a Took or the determination of a Baggins."

Gandalf smiled back at her, a twinkle in his eyes. "Or the cleverness of a hobbit. I'll leave it be, but if it gets too much for you, let me know and I'll have a word with Thorin."

She shook her head determinedly. "I'm the one that signed the contract and I'm that one that messed up so badly. I will make it right. But thank you for the offer."

He rode back up to the front of the line, muttering something about the stubbornness of hobbits and dwarves. Bella ignored them, too focused on staying on the pony to really worry about things other than making it through the next few minutes without making things worse by toppling to the ground. They rode through the rest of the day, reaching Bree just after dark. She was too far back to hear what was said, but after several minutes, they were admitted to the town. They made their way quickly to an inn called The Prancing Pony.

Thorin said, "We'll stop here for the night. Fili, Kili, you're in charge of the ponies. Mistress Baggins, you'll be staying with Gandalf." Without another word, he made his way into the inn. 

Fili had to help her dismount and then steady her until her legs were finally willing to support her again. She murmured thank you and he nodded. When he started to lead her pony away, she asked, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

He offered her a sympathetic smile. "Why don't you head in? Kee and I got this. It'll take a few days to get accustomed to riding. I'll show you tomorrow how to mount properly. Just get some rest, ok?"

She nodded and made her way inside, muscles that she didn't even know she possessed protesting. She saw the company gathered around the table, laughing and eating. Feeling extremely discouraged and alone, she nodded to Gandalf and slowly made her way up to her room. She'd start fresh again in the morning. Right now, she just wanted to sleep and forget why she'd ever thought that it was a good idea to go on a quest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Fili this chapter, but we'll see what he's up to soon. A bit of angst for poor Bella but never underestimate a hobbit :) Happy Saturday Everyone!


	6. Trying Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone, been dealing with snow and freezing temperatures for the past several days. On a farm that equals no fun. Here's another chapter with more to come soon! Also, It's Nanowrimo time, which means that I'll be writing every day, which means that I'll be much more likely to update more often :) Happy Friday

Determined to make a better impression than she had the day before, Bella was up and ready at dawn. Tiptoeing so as not to disturb the still snoring wizard, she took her pack and made her way out to the stables. The only other occupant was a sleepy stable lad caring for the horses. It suddenly occurred to her that she knew nothing about caring for horses and ponies. They were going to be riding for a good bit of the way, Valar willing, so the more she learned the better.

She had just picked up a curry comb and was tentatively mimicking the lad's actions when Fili entered the stable. He seemed surprised to see her there, but greeted her cordially enough, "Morning, Mistress Baggins. How are you feeling this morning?"

She smiled ruefully, "Sore. Apparently my body does not like riding. Please, call me Bella. We're going to traveling together for a while."

He nodded, "As you wish, Miss Bella. Talk to Oin, he'll have some salve that will help." He nodded at the comb in her hand. "Have you ever tended a pony before?"

She shook her head, "I've driven a pony cart, but never cared for a pony before, no. Still, I want to be useful."

He smiled and picked up another comb. "I can at least show you the basics before we start off this morning. These beauties will be carrying us for quite a ways, so it's best to care for them from the start."

He showed her how to tend her pony and then left her to work while he readied the rest of them. Kili joined them about halfway through, yawning widely. In the time it took her to groom her pony, the two princes had groomed and saddled the rest of the ponies. Even then, Fili had to come over and show her how to tack up properly. She sighed quietly as Fili and Kili started moving the ponies out to the courtyard, feeling discouraged. Still, her father had always said that if you aren't going to do something right, it's better to not start at all. She knew the basics now and time and practice would help with her skill.

Leading her pony out after the others, Gandalf waved her over when he saw her. Handing her a meat pie, he said quietly, "You shouldn't skip meals. Everything ok?"

Nibbling gratefully on it, she nodded and smiled at him. "Just learning how to tend my pony properly. Thank you, Gandalf."

The rest of the company ignored her, going about their own tasks. This ended up setting up how the next several days would go. Bella worked her hardest at the tasks only to be meet with the disapproving stares of dwarves when she inevitably took longer than needed or needed help. Fili was kind and helped her out and Dwalin often kept an eye out for her as well as an eye on her, but she felt invisible to the rest of the company. Well, except for Thorin and she wished that she was invisible to him. No matter what she did, she never did it right or fast enough.

By the end of the day, she longed for home, but usually ended up curling up and falling asleep before true homesickness could set in. Every muscle on her body ached and she felt constantly hungry where the dwarves only stopped for two meals a day. However, she didn't fuss, knowing that they were on limited rations. Part of the reason that she took so long to fetch wood was that she used that time to forage for edibles. She always brought the majority back to camp, but couldn't resist eating enough to dull the edge of her hunger.

So between the constant aching of her stomach, body, head, and heart, the first week passed in a blur. It was on the eighth day when she was about to give up that things took a turn for the better. It was mid-morning and she was riding at the back of the line as had become routine. What was unusual was that Ori dropped back and took up position beside her. When she looked at him curiously, he said cheerfully, "I was wondering, Mistress Baggins, if you would mind settling something for me. You see, Bofur and I were talking. He claims that there are no blacksmiths in the Shire and that's why you were upset about your knives. I'm sure that there has to be blacksmiths of some sort in the Shire, otherwise, how would you get any metalwork done?"

Looking up ahead, she saw Bofur watching them and he winked at her. Giving him a small smile of thanks, she turned her attention back to Ori. "As a matter of fact, Master Bofur is right. The last smith in the Shire passed away several winters ago and we haven't been able to get anyone to replace him, man, dwarf, or hobbit. If we need any metal work done, we have to take it over to Bree and the smith there charges exorbitant amounts for rather shoddy work. You wouldn't happen to know any blacksmith's in need of a place to set up shop, do you? It's not grand work like weapon crafting, but it's a steady work and hobbits would be willing to pay a fair price for good work. Well, most would. There are some real purse pinchers that love to complain. Thankfully, they're in the minority."

Ori thought hard for a moment. "Most dwarves know at least basic smithing, but the problem is..."

She smiled at him, "Not many are willing to be gone from their families and in a land surrounded by strangers. That's why we've been having such trouble replacing the one we had. We've offered to let their families settle with them, but I think that the Shire unsettles them, with it's lack of stone and mining. Anything that's needed for smithing has to be brought in."

And with that, their conversation was off. They even managed to draw Balin in at one point as they discussed the trade and treaties that the Shire had. Thorin had shot them a few looks, but left them alone, for which she was extremely grateful. The subject lasted until evening camp and Bella set off to gather firewood with a much lighter heart than she had before. It was when she was making her way back that she had accidentally overheard them. Thorin and Fili were arguing quietly so that she was almost on top of them before she realized that they were there.

Thorin said fiercely, "We should just leave her in Rivendell. It was a mistake to bring her no matter what Tharkun said. We'll just have to make due without her."

Fili said quietly, "You should give her a chance. She really is trying her hardest."

"That might be true, but she takes three times as long as anyone else to do even the simplest tasks. She is soft and unprepared for something like this. She doesn't even know how to fight. She's going to get herself killed and whoever's with her killed too."

She had to bite her tongue to muffle the protest that wanted to spring from her lips. She was doing better all the time, she had thought that she was doing well for someone that had never been out of the Shire before. She was so upset with Thorin's words that she missed the undercurrent of worry in his tone.

Fili was still calm as he replied, "We all had to learn once and at least she's willing. She hasn't shirked once, no matter what has been asked of her. All I ask is that you at least keep an open mind until we reach Rivendell. If she doesn't measure up then, then we can talk about it again."

Forcing back tears and unable to listen anymore to how they were planning on getting rid of her, she backed away noiselessly. She carefully circled the camp and came in from the opposite side from where they were. She had piled the wood near the fire and was about to head off in search of more when Fili and Thorin returned to camp. When they saw her, they looked startled like they hadn't remembered that she was on wood duty that night. She offered them a small smile, but Fili turned away and Thorin just returned to his usual scowl.

She turned and set off in search of more wood, refusing to let her hands curl into fists. Let them make all the plans they wished, she was still going to do her best no matter what. And if they tried to leave her behind in Rivendell, well, she wasn't the only one that had signed a contract, was she? She had held her head high despite being surrounded by uppity hobbits and she wouldn't do any differently because some overbearing dwarves thought that she wasn't good enough.

* * *

Over the next few days, she had worked harder, although she kept a slight distance from Fili and Thorin, as well as Balin. Still, things had improved. Ori now talked with her, which in turn had drawn Dori over. It had taken time to get him to warm back up to her, but she had sacrificed her great grandmother's secret tea recipe to the cause. Still, the sacrifice had been worth it because he would spend time here and there, talking with her about various subjects from tea to lacemaking to the merits of different threads for mending. The only subject that was off limits was what had made her late the first morning.

Bofur had ridden beside her a few times, sharing jokes and stories to brighten her day. When she had asked about Bifur, he had sobered but quietly shared the story with her about his injury and how it had made it impossible for him to speak common. She had coaxed him into teaching her a few signs so she could talk to him. The shy delight in the odd dwarf's eyes made her struggle to learn how to form the signs worth it.

Bombur didn't say much, but he did share a few tidbits about his family with her when they shared cooking duty. And then there was Gloin. She had made the mistake of asking him about his family, ignoring the younger dwarves pitying looks when she did so. Since then, he had sought her out multiple times to boast about his wife and their incredible dwarfling. She listened to him patiently, a weird mix of feelings welling inside of her. It had been so long since anyone had cared, truly cared for her, that she envied his family. On the other hand, it made her smile at his obvious love for them. When she had worked up the courage to ask why he had left them, Gloin had become really quiet for several minutes. Finally he said, "I do it so Gimli doesn't have to spend his life slaving just to make ends met. So he can do whatever craft calls to him. He wanted to come on this quest, you know. I told him that he couldn't come because he was too young and someone needed to care for his amad. But the truth is, should we not succeed, I would not have his end be the one we face."

Her heart wrenched at the desperation that drove this group to face a dragon in the slim hopes of building a better life for themselves. While it didn't make Thorin's harsh words any more palatable, it at least made her understand better where he was coming from. Wanting to draw Gloin from the dark thoughts that she had inadvertently caused him to dwell on, she asked gently, "Why don't you tell me how Gimli's ax work is coming along. We got interrupted last time." Gloin's face lightened and he was off once again.

* * *

Setting her quill aside, Bella sighed. Looking back again, she could see Thorin's desperation to keep her from harm. He had been determined to keep her from throwing away her life on what he was certain was a suicide quest. Desperation drove the dwarves, but there was no such need for her to do the same, in his eyes. So he had done his best to take care of her, albeit in his usual bull headed way. Still, he hadn't yet realized the stubbornness of hobbits yet. She smiled slightly. Especially the stubbornness that was a small hobbit lass that had both Took and Baggins blood in her.

* * *

A harsh elbow to the side jostled Fili awake. He glared at Kili, but Kili merely rolled his eyes and discreetly nodded to where Thorin was watching him. Fili straightened, trying to pretend that he hadn't dozed off in the middle of a council meeting. Dwalin had been drilling new trainees on night survival and Fili had been lending him a hand, which had led to him getting very little sleep over the past week. However, when he looked at Thorin, an dim memory of arguing with him about whether or not to leave someone behind in Rivendell surfaced. But before he could dig any deeper, a councilor stood up and started his speech about the costs of reopening some mines and Fili forced himself to pay attention. By the time the meeting was over, the memory had slipped away again and he had forgotten all about it.


	7. The Trouble with Trolls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this story has received over a thousand hits. I am totally floored but so, so happy at the same time. Shout out to everyone who took some time out of their day to check out this story. And a big thanks to everyone who commented. I let you get to the story now :)

The first snowstorm had proved to be a mild one, despite the amount of snow it had deposited. The weather had warmed and the snow had quickly melted, turning everything to solid mud. She had spent the better part of a week helping her tenants. Digging wagons out of the mud, reinforcing any weak spots on the roof that had been discovered by the storm, making sure that none of the fruit tree seedlings got washed away. Each day she would stagger home covered in dirt, take a quick bath before falling in bed, and doing it all over again the next day.

She was grateful when the temperatures lowered and the ground froze again. It was forecasted that it would snow again in the next few days and this time winter would be there to stay. After one last round of all of her tenants in the chilly weather to make sure that they were truly prepared, she went home and took a well deserved soak, every inch of her body aching. Finally feeling clean, she staggered to bed and proceeded to promptly pass out for the next twelve hours.

She woke to a chilly room the next morning. Getting up, she pulled on her heaviest robe and made her way to the kitchen. After getting the fire going, she looked out the window to see tiny flakes falling. Glad that she didn't have to go back out, she quickly made breakfast, her stomach protesting all of her skipped meals. Once breakfast was finished, the kitchen had warmed up and was quite cozy. Deciding to not bother trying to warm up the rest of the hobbit hole at this point, she went to the den and got her notebook before heading back to the kitchen.

Making herself a mug of tea, she settled herself at the table and quickly skimmed over what she had written. Where had she stopped? Oh yes, that's right, the company had been headed straight for trouble, although they didn't know it. With a small smile, she started to write.

* * *

Things had settled more or less into a routine. As long as she said mostly out of Thorin's sight, he left her alone. She spent most of her time chatting with Ori about various subjects, trading jokes and stories with Bofur, learning more signs for Bifur, and listening to Gloin talk about his family, yet again. Several times she had caught Nori watching her, but he hadn't approached her yet, seeming to be sizing her up or waiting for her to do something. A couple of times she'd been tempted to inquire if he wanted her to juggle or something, but bit her tongue just in time. She'd even stood watch a couple of times with Dwalin, but those times were far and few between, on nights that she suspected that Dwalin knew that it would be a quiet night. She wasn't complaining if that were the case, although Dwalin looked like he was a match for anything that might come out of the dark.

Every day she was picking up more survival craft and gradually her body adjusted to it's new routine, leaving her not so exhausted and achy. All in all, life was looking up. That was, until they ran into the rain. By the end of the first day of rain, there wasn't a dry member of the company. Even the oiled cloaks could only do so much against the steady soaking drizzle that they were riding through. She huddled miserably in her cloak, chilled, although the dwarves and Gandalf looked mostly unaffected, although damper. She couldn't wait until they stopped for the night and had a fire. To her disappointment, when they did finally stop for the night, there was no wood dry enough for a fire. Instead, everyone ate a cold meal and turned in, all that was between them and the damp ground was their thin bedrolls.

Curling into a small ball, she hoped desperately that it would have stopped raining in the morning.

Much to her disappointment, it was still grey and damp when she woke. Unwilling to give Thorin another reason to get rid of her, she sucked up her whining and got up. After all, a little rain never hurt anyone. How bad could things possibly be? Three days later, she was kicking herself for thinking that. She had either jinxed them or somehow challenged the weather to do it's best to make them miserable. As it was, everyone's temper had frayed and they were at each other's throats. She had been tempted to strangle several of them at separate times throughout the last day or so. When she caught herself trying to figure out how to strangle Bofur with his own hat, she knew she had to focus on something else and started mentally reciting all of the many uses of honey and the recipes that you could use it in. A bit useless, but better than contemplating how to commit homicide with an innocent hat.

So focused was she on this that she missed the beginning of the argument. She was abruptly pulled her thoughts when Gandalf stormed by. She cried, "Gandalf, where are you going?"

He didn't even slow as he shouted back over his shoulder, "Anywhere but here! Save me from the stubbornness of dwarves."

And with that he was gone, swiftly blending into the dim grayness of the day and disappearing entirely. Bella sighed but carefully kept her thoughts away from what else could go wrong, thank you very much. She didn't know if that had done the trick or not, but about an hour later, they stumbled upon the burned out shell of a farmhouse and Thorin called a stop for the night. 

They set up camp with the ruins, the walls giving them a little shelter from the elements, although they had to picket the ponies a little distance away. Just to be able to get away from the pervasive mist lifted her spirits a lot. They rose even higher when Bombur worked some kind of magic and managed to get a fire going. The prospect of a hot meal was so welcome that she didn't even mind that every single piece of clothing that she owned was damp. She laughed internally, ah, how quickly priorities changed when it truly mattered. When the stew was ready, she cheerfully agreed to take some to Fili and Kili who had first watch. 

After days of being miserable in the damp, it seemed silly to hold a grudge over whether or not Fili thought that she could make it. And he had argued for her, a small point in his favor. She made her way quickly over to where the ponies had been tied, easily balancing the two bowls. However, when she got there, she found Fili and Kili in the middle of an intense whispered conversation. Wondering what bit of mischief they were planning now, she rolled her eyes. Walking right up behind them, she cleared her throat. It was quite gratifying to see the way they jumped and whirled around to face her. Not so good was the way their hands shot to their weapons. Pasting on her most innocent expression, she held up the bowls and said cheerfully, "Dinner."

They hastily let go on their weapons, guilt clearly written on their faces. Now that was interesting. Handing them their bowls, she asked, "What were you two whispering about?"

The two argued silently for a minute before Kili said slowly, "We seem to have a bit of a problem."Uh oh, she'd seen that expression before on some of her Took cousins, usually when they'd messed up and wanted her to fix it before anyone found out. Crossing her arms, she said quietly, "And just what might this problem be?"

Both princes took a hasty bite of stew but she just waited, unmoving.

Once again, it was Kili that broke first. "Well, when we picketed the ponies, there were fourteen."

Feeling her patience waning, she prompted, "And?"

Fili sighed and mumbled, "Now there's only twelve."

Turning and looking, she counted and found that he was right, Minty and Marigold were missing. Resigning herself to having to wait just a little longer for her hot meal, she said, "Are you sure that you picketed them right? Could they have just pulled themselves loose and wandered off?"

Both shook their heads. "No, they didn't wander off. One moment they were there and the next they were gone."

Exasperated, she said, "Well, they didn't just disappear into thin air."

The princes both opened their mouths to undoubtedly profess their innocence when the creaking of a tree caught her attention. Making a shushing motion, she turned to see what had caused the noise and promptly fell onto her rear. The noise had been a mountain troll pushing a tree aside as he walked off carrying a pony under each arm, Daisy and Dianthus is she wasn't mistaken. Jumping to her feet, she whirled on the two dumbfounded princes. She hissed, "How in the world did you miss a TROLL walking off with the ponies?" However, she could see the twigs and leaves in their hair and clothing and could figure out that they had most likely been wrestling. "Never mind. What are we going to do about this?"

When Kili's face lit up, she knew that she was in trouble. He said, "You're a burglar. You can just burgle them back."

She pinched his ear and brought him down until his face was even with hers. "Are you mad? You want me to steal from trolls? Trolls that are big enough to carry ponies off as if they weigh nothing."

He pleaded, "Please, Mistress Boggins. Uncle didn't want to let me come along in the first place and if he finds out that I've lost the ponies, he'll send me back to Ered Luin faster than you can say quartz."

Sighing, she released his ear. She knew that she should've walked away right after she'd handed them their stew, she just knew it. But being on thin ice with Thorin, she understood where he was coming from. "Fine, I'll take a look. But I'm not making any promises, do you hear me?"

Fili looked uncertain, "Maybe we should just tell uncle after all. The company can get the ponies back together."

Kili smiled, "Let her take a look first, what can it hurt?" Turning to Bella, he said earnestly, "If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a screech owl and once like a barn owl and we'll rescue you."

Without bothering to tell him that she had no idea what either owl sounded like and would have no clue how to hoot like them even if she did, she started following the troll's rather obvious trail. As she walked away, she heard Fili hiss, "I still don't like this."

Tracking the trolls, she wondered briefly what insanity had taken over her. She was a hobbit for pity's sake. They didn't go on adventures, they didn't go wet and hungry, and they certainly didn't try to steal from trolls. But Kili's pleading face was as good as any Took's. Though if she thought about it, none of those occasions turned out particularly well.

It didn't take long for her to find the trolls camp. There were three of them sitting around a fire with a pot full of something bubbling away over it that smelled truly noxious. They had the missing ponies penned up to one side of the clearing while one of the trolls sharpened a crude looking knife. Listening to their conversation, she felt rather sick. They were complaining about how they hadn't eaten anyone for a while, although one snapped that at least they finally had some mutton. She could only assume that they were talking about the ponies. From everything she'd read about trolls, which admittedly wasn't much, it was said that they were rather dim.

The way the three of them bickered certainly seemed to support that idea. As she watched them, a crazy idea occurred to her. None of the trolls were paying any attention to the ponies. If she was very quiet and careful, it was possible that she could open the pen and sneak the ponies out before anyone was the wiser. That would show Thorin, not that she could tell him about it without giving Fili and Kili away. She frowned but then brightened as she realized that even if she didn't tell Thorin, Fili and Kili would still owe her for helping them out. Mind made up, she started to move.

She used every ounce of stealth she possessed, freezing any time the trolls even seemed to start looking her way. However, after a few harrowing minutes she succeeding in reaching her goal undiscovered. Feeling inordinately pleased with herself, she started to work the clumsy knot loose. And that was when everything went wrong. The ponies had not been happy to have been captured by trolls and had been milling restlessly in the makeshift pen. She had almost worked the knot loose when Minty spotted her and gave a loud whicker of welcome. Bella frantically shushed him but it was too late as a giant hand roughly scooped her up.

The troll brought her right up to his face and foul breath washed over her as he demanded, "What're you? An oversized squir'l?"

Repulsed and trying not to gag, she gasped, "I'm a burgl, a hobbit."

One of the trolls said quizzically, "A burrahobbit?"

The other troll said wistfully, "Can we cook it?"

The burrahobbit troll whined, "It wouldn't make more'n a mouthful once it's skinned and boned."

Tightening his grip around her waist, foul breath demanded, "Are there any more of you burrahobbits around 'ere. Might be nuff for a pie."

Forcibly keeping her composure, she said breathlessly, "No, just me."

The troll who wanted to cook her turned out to have a nasty streak as he said, "It's lying. Hold it's toes over the fire, make 'em squeal!"

Before she could protest, the troll gave a loud squeal itself and started to collapse. However, she wasn't left to wonder for long as Kili shouted, "Drop her!"

Wanting to strangle the brash dwarf, she nearly bit her tongue when the trolls all swung to face Kili who was standing there with his sword drawn. Foul breath demanded, "You what?"

Kili repeated, "I said, drop her!"

He really should have expected what happened next, but he was shocked when foul breath threw her on top of him. Thankfully he dropped his sword in time to catch her, but the impact knocked them both flat. However, as soon as she was free of the trolls, the rest of the company charged in. Kili gently shoved her off of him and grabbed his sword, joining into the free for all brawl that was happening. Catching her breath and grateful for the clean air, she quickly climbed to her feet. Seeing how the dwarves seemed to be enjoying themselves, she left them to it and went over to calm the ponies before they could hurt themselves.

Once the ponies were reasonably calm, she turned her attention back to the fight. It was impressive to watch the dwarves work together, although the trolls thick skin hindered them from being as deadly as they usually were. However, they were slowly gaining the upper hand and even as she watched, Dwalin smashed a massive war hammer across one's face and sent him flying across the clearing. She suddenly realized that the troll was coming straight towards her and scrambled to get out of the way, but it was too late.

In a blink she was snatched up and held captive again, this time by nasty. Whiny troll grabbed her other arm and she found herself being pulled painfully between the two trolls, although she valiantly swallowed her cry of pain, not wanting to distract the dwarves. However, they quickly realized the situation. Kili screamed, "Bella" and started forward, but Thorin stopped him, thankfully.

Foul breath demanded, "Lay down your arms or we'll rip 'er's off."

She wanted to cry no but the two trolls pulled slightly and the pain stole her breath away. With a scowl, Thorin dropped his sword and motioned for the others to do so as well. In a trice the trolls had them all trussed up in smelly bags, too tightly to get out of, although thankfully their heads were still free. Bella felt like weeping, but pushed it down. If the trolls hadn't caught her, the company wouldn't be in this situation. 

Ignoring the trolls arguing over how to cook them, she racked her brains over how to get them out of this mess. She was well read and everyone always said that she was clever, she just needed a bit of time. Right then, she heard Whiny say, "But they won't roast before dawn."

Her eyes widened as she remembered the lore about trolls, a plan forming in a flash. Struggling to her feet and ignoring the flare of pain, she cleared her throat and said politely, "That's not how you cook dwarf."

Nasty glared at her. "Wot do yew know bout cooking dwarf?"

She said carelessly, "Oh lots. If you do it right, they're the most delicious meal you'll ever eat."

She could feel the dwarves staring incredulously at her, but ignored them. She had gotten them into this mess and she would get them out.

Foul breath commanded, "Well, 'ow do yew cook 'em?"

She racked her brain and spoke slowly, trying to buy some time. "Well, you certainly don't roast them or sit on them. Roasting takes much too long and makes them tough. And if you squish them, there'll be a lot of little bone pieces that will get stuck in your teeth."

One of the dwarves protested this and she gritted her teeth. Thankfully, Whiny ignored them and said, "I don' wan' bones in me teeth."

Nasty snarled, "I asked 'ow yew cook dwarf, burrahobbit."

She stammered, "Well, first you h..h..have to, um, first you have to... Wash them. Yes, you have to wash them and get all that dirt and rock off of them. Nothing nastier than a mouthful of grit."

Foul breath commanded Whiny, "Get some water."

The dwarves started protesting this, loudly, and Bella wanted to kick them badly. Couldn't they see that she was trying to keep them alive until dawn? Thankfully one of them had sense, as she heard a thump and they fell silent. But of course they couldn't keep their mouths shut and they started shouting about how dirty they were and how many times they would need to be washed to be edible, each one trying to out do all of the others. Thankfully, the ruckus kept everyone from noticing that the sky was slowly lightening.

She hoped that the argument would last long enough for the sun to rise, but Nasty was an impatient sort and yelled, "I say we eats 'em raw. I've et plenty that way n' never 'ad any trubble."

He started towards the bagged dwarves and Bella screamed, "No!"

He scowled at her, "Wot was that?"

She coughed once, her throat protesting the scream, but spoke quickly and calmly, "Well, if you're not going to wash them, you should at least, um, at least, um, skin them first. It's not ideal but it's better than nothing."

Nasty grinned, well, nastily at her. "Well, I says we eats 'em raw."

Right then was when Gandalf finally chose to reappear. He called, "And I say that the dawn will take you all!"

Bringing down his staff, he cracked the rock he was standing on in half, allowing dawn light to stream into the clearing and turning the trolls to stone. Bella collapsed, her body refusing to keep her upright any longer. She barely heard the cheers of Gandalf from the dwarves, her body was busy trying to shake itself to pieces now that the danger was over. She didn't even notice that Gandalf had started freeing the dwarves until Fili came over and untied her, helping her gently out of the sack. 

He asked quietly, "Are you all right?"

Clasping her hands together to hide their shaking, she offered him a weak smile. "A little shook up, but I'm ok. Is anyone else hurt?"

"Just bumps and bruises, nothing that won't heal." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "We should've never."

Right then, Thorin called him over, cutting off whatever he had been about to say. Sighing again, he turned and made his way over to where his uncle was waiting. Bella quickly looked down, not wanting to see the scorn in Thorin's eyes about how she had managed to land the whole company in trouble. Taking deep breaths, she felt the shakes beginning to ease. One more minute, she promised herself. One more minute and then she would get up and make herself useful.

After her promised minute, she made herself get up. Her knees were shaky but they held. Unsure whether or not the company would accept help from her after everything, she made her way back over to the ponies. She was relieved to see that they were still there and unharmed. Knowing that they wouldn't bolt now that the trolls were stone, she opened the paddock so that they could graze for a bit.

Sitting there and watching them, she heard the dwarves talk about a troll cave. After being up close and personal with the trolls the night before, she didn't even want to think about how nasty any cave of theirs might be. Soon the dwarves divided themselves into two groups, half going in search of the troll cave and half going back to fetch their packs and the rest of the ponies.

Once the clearing was empty of everyone except Bella and the ponies, she wasn't bothering to count the trolls, she took advantage of the quiet to check her injuries. Discreetly checking her surroundings, she carefully inched her shirt up enough to see her waist and ribs. Like she'd suspected, they were already starting to bruise. She gingerly probed her ribs, her eyes watering with pain whenever she'd brush a particularly sensitive spot. Although she admitted that her knowledge was limited, it felt like she had gotten lucky and none of the ribs were broken, although they could be anything from bruised to cracked for all she knew. Carefully replacing the shirt, she rolled her shoulders, sucking in a sharp breath as her arms protested the gentle movement. But as before, nothing was broken or dislocated and would heal given a little bit of time.

Biting her lip, she debated on the best course of action. None of the dwarves were probably happy over the troll fiasco, but they would be less happy if they were held up by her injuries. By rights, she should inform Thorin of her injuries so he could make sure that she didn't leave them vulnerable somehow. But she was wary of raising his ire. No, she would talk to Oin, see if he had anything to help with the bruising. Between that and riding, she should be able to avoid anything strenuous for long enough to heal. She could always coerce Kili and by extension Fili into helping her with her chores. After all, it was their fault for losing the ponies in the first place. With a little bit of luck, Thorin need never find out about her injuries at all.

Pleased with her plan, she settled herself more comfortably, content to bask in the warm sunlight after days of dampness. It was fortunate, she thought with a shudder, that the rain had finally ended the night before. Otherwise they might have been in serious trouble. Turning her face up to the sun and closing her eyes, she used her fingers to fluff her curls in the hopes that it would speed their drying.

She heard a choked noise behind her. Sighing, she straightened and turned. Fili was standing there behind her, her pack clenched tightly in his hands. He thrust the pack abruptly towards her, "I thought you'd like your pack."

Standing slowly, she studied him. Was that a blush? Looking closer, she was delighted to see that it was indeed a blush. Smiling, she took the bag and thanked him. 

He rubbed the back of his neck and said awkwardly, "Well, I'm just, going to check on the others."

Before she could say anything, he turned and strode away. She smothered a giggle, what was he embarrassed about? Would she ever understand dwarves? Taking her pack, she went and sat back down. Digging through the pack, she found a ribbon to tie her curls back haphazardly. They were getting long and she would need to cut them soon.

She put it out of her mind when the dwarves arrived with the rest of the ponies. Having grown fond of them, she carefully checked them over and was pleased to find them unharmed. While she was busy with the ponies, the rest of the dwarves returned, crowing over the cache they had found in the cave. She shuddered to think of how that had all ended up there, so she focused on grooming the ponies.

That was where Gandalf found her. "Ah, there you are, Bella. I want you to take this."

She reluctantly took the small sword that he held out to her. "Gandalf, I've never used a weapon in my life, certainly not a sword."

He smiled at her. "And I certainly hope that you never have to. Take it nevertheless. It was crafted by elves in the first age. It will glow if there are orcs or goblins about."

She offered him a lopsided smile. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

He said quietly, "Just remember this, should you have need of that blade. True courage is about knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one."

She nodded and he turned away as a noise caught his attention. She pulled out the blade slowly and examined it. It appeared to be still sharp, despite sitting in the troll cave for who knows how long. Maybe one of the dwarves would teach her how to wield it? After all, it would be little better than a stick if she had no idea how to use it.

* * *

Yawning, she set aside the quill. Picking up the book and the candle, it had grown dark when she hadn't been paying attention, she quietly padded to her room. Setting both items aside, she knelt by the chest at the end of the bed and opened it. There, laying on top of everything, was Sting. Lifting it out, she smiled as it's familiar weight settled into her hands. The naive girl that she had been would never have dreamed what a comfort the small sword would become to her. Would never dream of all the adventures and perils it would see her through.

Sighing, she tucked it back away. She climbed into bed and tucked the book under her pillow before blowing out the candle. Maybe if she was lucky, her dreams would be filled with her dwarves and she could forget for a little while just how much she missed them all.

* * *

Fili woke up filled with conflicting emotions left over from his dream. His cheeks flushed at the memory of a comely lass with curls tumbling loosely around her shoulders in the sunlight, although her features were already slipping away. There was also irritation with his brother for one of his more hair brained schemes, even though he couldn't remember the details, he knew that he should've stopped it before it even started.

Knowing that he wouldn't get any more sleep, his heart aching for something or someone he didn't even know. Making his way over to the desk, he pulled out the half drawn design for a charm bracelet that he had sketched. Taking his time, he worked on refining it. As he worked, the delicate bracelet became two strands of forget-me-nots twining around each other. It would have to woven with a fine gold wire, the flowers crafted from sapphires and the leaves made of chips of emeralds. He also added a second charm, three mountain trolls gathered around a campfire. It seemed odd paired with such a dainty bracelet, but his gut was insisting that it belonged on there.

Itching to get started, he quickly made a list of supplies that he would need. If he worked quickly, he could gather it all before he had to attend training with Dwalin. Feeling his heart lift slightly, he quickly tugged on some clothes and boots. Today was going to be a good day, he could feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Fili, giggle. Knowing how dwarves are about hair, I can only imagine that seeing a woman with her hair unbraided and loose, drying it in the sunshine, is an intimacy only reserved for couples or for immediate family.  
Some of the dialogue was taken directly from the movie, but I take no credit :)


	8. Arriving in Rivendell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter up, yay! And the next chapter is progressing well, so it should be out in the next day or two, fingers crossed.

Bella woke with her heart aching. She didn't know if it was because she'd been writing about the company or if it was just longing on her part, but she had dreamed of Fili during the night. He had been training with Dwalin in Erebor and looked both happy and healthy. He'd had a grin on his face as he and Dwalin traded blows and snarky comments. His movements were smooth and easy, as if he'd never been hurt. Then she had heard cheers and turned to find a crowd gathered to watch, many of them dams. That's when she woke up.

Sitting up, she hugged her pillow hard to her chest, forcing back tears. It had just been a dream, although it seemed strangely real. Besides, she had no right to be upset should he start courting and even marry a dwarf maid. She had given up all rights to him and his heart the day he died. Working one hand free of the pillow, she reached up and traced her braid. It probably wasn't helping her heart to keep wearing his braid, but she couldn't bear to let go of that last little bit of him she had.

Pushing aside her melancholy, she forced herself to get up and get dressed. Even if it was just a dream, that's what she had traded everything for. For him to live his life, happy and healthy in Erebor as heir and one day, as king. She would be content knowing that he was living his life, even if she never saw him. There was no need to act like a silly tween experiencing heartbreak for the first time. She marched out of the room, leaving the book under the pillow. If this was how she acted after writing, she would just not write. She made it barely three steps down the hall when she whirled and ran back, snatching the book up.

It had been just a dream. It would've happened whether or not she had written anything. It was silly to think that the two were connected. Besides, it would be boring to be snowed in. Writing would keep her mind occupied. Yes, she was writing so that she wouldn't be bored.

* * *

She had just sheathed the sword clumsily when a racket caught her attention. There was crashing in the underbrush and the ringing of weapons being drawn. Dwalin appeared in front of her, an axe grasped firmly in each hand. She froze, unsure what to do, when the oddest man that she'd ever seen burst into the clearing on a sled drawn by rabbits, yelling something about catastrophes.

The company exchanged shocked glances, but Gandalf greeted him warmly, "Radagast."

Bella searched her brain for why that name sounded familiar. Then it came to her. They had been discussing the various wizards in Arda and Gandalf had mentioned Radagast the Brown. He was a guardian for forests and living things. Eyeing the odd man, she had to admit that it looked like he spent all of his time living in nature. Dwalin put his axes away, grumbling something about crazy wizards.

Taking a chance, she called softly, "Dwalin?"

His expression was still sour, but he said, "Aye, lass?"

She hesitantly held up the small sword. "Gandalf gave me this. Do you, do you think you could show me how to use it? I know that you have many duties."

He cut her off, motioning for her to hand him the sword. She handed it over and he examined it closely, giving a grunt of approval when he checked the sharpness. "It's too small to do much damage, but you're a wee thing yerself. I can at least teach ya the basics, it's better than nothing."

His face was full of doubt, but he had agreed to teach her, so she refrained from kicking him. He handed it back to her and showed her how to strap it properly around her waist. He left to rejoin Thorin with the stern warning not to draw the sword unless she was facing certain death if she didn't.

She sighed as she realized that this quest was turning out quite differently than what she had been expecting. Which was silly, as she didn't really know what to expect when it came to questing, as she had never been on one. Shaking her head as she realized that she was about to start going around in circles, she went in search of Oin. Her bruises were really starting to make themselves known and he surely had some bruise ointment that she could beg from him.

As she walked past where the two wizards were conferring, she just barely caught the words 'giant' and 'spider'. With a shudder, she hurried on. She hated spiders and the idea of giant ones was just wrong. She shuddered again and fervently prayed that she would never have the misfortune to meet one. She had just reached Oin when a howl rang through the forest.

She froze, bad memories flooding over her. She stammered, "W..was that a wolf? A..are there wolves a..around here?"

Before anyone could answer, a nightmare creature crashed into the clearing and pounced on the healer. Thorin quickly slew it, but didn't see the second one that had circled behind him. Kili swiftly nocked an arrow and fired, injuring it enough for Dwalin to finish it off.

She distantly heard Gandalf demanding that Thorin tell him who he'd told about the quest, but couldn't tear her eyes away from the dead beasts, her hands clamped firmly over her mouth to keep from being sick. The thought of more creatures out there like this one made her shudder. She wanted to hide when Gandalf said that they were being hunted, was even willing to take cover in the troll hole, which the dwarves had said was beyond nasty. Then Ori just put the icing on the cake when he announced that the ponies had bolted. Whipping her head around, she found that he was right. Those hell beasts, wargs, had obviously scared them and they'd run much like Bella wanted to.

That's when Radagast proposed that he draw the orc pack off.

Gandalf's frustration was clear as he bit out, "These are Gundabad orcs, they'll out run you."

A crazy grin crossed Radagast's face as he said proudly, "These are Rhosgobel rabbits. I'd like to see them try."

And in a move that proved that males of all races were insane, the whole group agreed to this plan. Radagast was off like a shot in one direction while the rest of them ran for the plains. 

They had barely gone any distance before Bella knew that she was in trouble. She was sprinting and trying to keep up with the dwarves, but every breath sent daggers racing through her chest. Fear and adrenaline kept her moving, but she couldn't draw a full breath and she knew that was very bad. And they were far from out of the woods. They sprinted from cover to cover, as they saw Radagast in the distance pursued by a bunch of those foul creatures and their riders.

She had originally started at the front of the group, but kept falling farther and farther back as she struggled to keep up. Despite her best efforts, her muscles burned, she couldn't breathe, and black spots were starting to swim across her vision. 

It was then that the outrider found them. They were huddled under an outcropping of rock trying to keep out of sight from the main pack when what was unmistakably a warg padded up onto the rock, a low growl thrumming menacingly through the air. Thorin motioned for Kili to shoot it. Kili nocked an arrow and stepped smoothly out from underneath the outcropping, managing to take out the warg. However, this particular warg had a rider and he died noisily.

This of course drew the attention of the rest of the orcs and they abandoned the wizard on the sled for their intended prey. What had been the scariest game of hide-n-seek that Bella had ever played quickly devolved in trying to out run the orcs. She tried her hardest to keep up, but she kept stumbling. When this happened, the nearest dwarf would haul her to her feet and drag her along for several feet her injured shoulders screaming until she started running on her own again.

But despite their best efforts, they were quickly surrounded. She was shoved into the middle of the group while the dwarves formed a protective ring around her, preparing for a last stand. Gandalf had disappeared sometime during the chaos. Fighting the trembling in her hands, she fumbled and tried to draw out her little sword. If the company was going to fight, she would stand with them.

With his usual sense of timing, Gandalf appeared from behind the rock. "This way. Quickly."

Thorin looked around and assessed the situation before commanding, "Go. Hurry." 

The dwarves scrambled to obey. Dwalin picked her up and tucked her under his arm like a sack of grain before jumping down the hole. Dropping her unceremoniously off to the side where she wouldn't be trampled, he turned and examined the rest of the cave for threats. Breathless and wanting to vomit from how Dwalin's careless handling had aggravated her injuries, Bella huddled against the wall and counted the dwarves. Finally Thorin appeared and all of the dwarves were there. She double counted just to be sure, but the result was the same, thirteen dwarves and one wizard.

Right then, a hunting horn rang out, it's clarion call sweet and pure compared to the harsh bellow of the orcs horns. Then came the sound of battle being engaged practically over their heads. Who was out there and more importantly, who was winning? A dead orc tumbled into their hiding spot, an arrow sprouting from it's back. Thorin examined it and spat, "Elvish!"

Dwalin called out, "There's a tunnel back here, but I can't see where it goes. Should I follow it?"

Thorin gave Gandalf a dark glare but called back, "Aye, follow it."

The dwarves started down the tunnel and Bella was trying to dig up the stamina to stand when Fili came over and offered her his hand. She warily took it and he pulled her easily to her feet. Once she was steady on her feet, he let her go and pulled out both of his swords. He said quietly, "Follow the others, I'm guarding the rear. I'll be right behind you."

She offered him a strained smile and whispered, "Be careful." Then she carefully walked after the others. 

The tunnel twisted and turned and she quickly lost all sense of direction. She didn't know how long they had walked before she heard the sound of running water. Then one of the dwarves towards the front of the line called that they saw light up ahead. When she emerged blinking in the light, she heard Gandalf say, "The valley of Imladris."

Taking three steps forward until she was standing at the edge of the ledge, she murmured, "Rivendell."

Gandalf smiled warmly at her. "The last homely house east of the sea."

Bella drank it in. Her mother had told her tales of Rivendell ever since she was a faunt old enough to sit still long enough for a story. Thorin and Gandalf started arguing again and she mostly ignored it. They had been arguing for days now and she was beginning to think that it was just how the two of them had a conversation. Her eyebrow rose as she heard Gandalf's comment about ill will, although she heartily agreed. She had been searching for elves her whole life and now was her chance to finally meet one. Maybe being left behind in Rivendell would not be such a bad thing.

It surprised her that any would wish to stop the quest, although if she gave it a bit of thought, it really shouldn't. After all, no one wanted to deal with an angry fire breathing wyrm. That was how Smaug had reigned uncontested for so many years. Although she had to smother a chuckle when Gandalf started rambling about charm and tact then said that he would be the one to speak. The wizard seemed to have a knack for irritating people unintentionally. Personally, she thought that Balin would be a better choice, used as he was to dealing with tactless people day in and out.

She saw Kili and Fili smothering their own laughter and she offered them a small smile. To her relief, they grinned back at her. Maybe the troll fiasco wasn't as bad as she'd initially thought. It would be easy to get to Rivendell and then they could rest. They started making their way down the pathway and Bella quickly revised her opinion. The buildings were much further than they originally appeared and the path had clearly been created for people larger than a tiny hobbit. Soon every step was an agony and the straps of her pack dug into her much abused shoulders, adding to the chorus of pain singing through her body.

When asked later, she was never sure for exactly how long they walked, too busy concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. But finally they reached the city and made their way into a large courtyard. The dwarves murmured amongst themselves, but she was content just to stand still and catch her breath. The pain in her chest was just starting to ease when an elf approached and called, "Mithrandir."

Gandalf turned and greeted the elf with a smile, "Lindir."

When the elf spoke, Bella was pleased to find all the hours of studying Sindarin had finally paid off, as she understood him quiet easily. However, apparently sensing the dwarves unease, Gandalf quickly switched over to common and asked to meet with Lord Elrond.

Bella was dismayed to find out that Lord Elrond was not in residence. There went half of the plan already. Elrond was known as both wise and compassionate. Who knows what another elf here would be like. But when Gandalf inquired as to his whereabouts, the call of a hunting horn answered for him. A hunting horn like they had heard after they had taken shelter. She had a feeling that she was about to meet the other half of the battle that they had heard played out.

Moments later, hoof beats echoed across the bridge they had just crossed. Before she knew what was happening, the dwarves had reformed their defensive circle, although this time at least Ori and Kili were shoved in there with her. Kili looked offended and Ori was resigned, but neither of them tried to leave the center. The elves rode into the courtyard moments later, somewhere around two dozen of them led by an elf that she would bet was Lord Elrond. They seemed to delight in riding circles around the wary dwarves, but obediently pulled their horses to a stop when their leader did.

Bella could barely breathe where she was surrounded so closely, but she was able to make out that Lord Elrond had been out hunting the orcs that had chased them. When the elf lord turned his attention to the company, she held her breath. 

To her surprise, Elrond greeted them graciously, "Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain."

Thorin spoke softly enough that she had to strain to hear, "I do not believe that we have met."

Elrond said, "You have your grandfather's bearing. I knew Thror when he reigned under the mountain."

Bella felt hopeful that things might work out after all. Then Thorin had to open his big mouth and her hopes came crashing down. "He made no mention of you."

This seemed to irk the elf lord and he started speaking in Sindarin. Although it was a traditional elvish greeting and offer of hospitality, his expression was stern enough that the words could've meant anything.

And then if the situation wasn't precarious enough, Gloin decided to add to the chaos and pushed his way to the front of the group, demanding to know if Elrond was insulting them.

Before she could reach out and strangle the hotheaded dwarf like she longed to, she was tired, hungry, in pain, and didn't have the patience for this nonsense, Gandalf intervened. "No, Master Gloin, he's offering you food and rest."

The dwarves muttered amongst themselves before Gloin spoke up again, "That's all right then, lead on."

The group of elves quickly dispersed, taking their mounts off to wherever it was they were stabled. Elrond and Gandalf started up the stairs, Elrond giving instructions to various servants that had discreetly appeared. The dwarves followed slowly after them, their hands firmly on their weapon hilts. Bella slowly followed after them, her muscles protested, having tightened up in the few minutes that she was standing still.

Suddenly Lindir was there beside her. He gave a shallow bow and said, "Welcome to Rivendell. It has been many years since we have had the pleasure of welcoming a hobbit to this place. Are you by any chance related to Belladonna Took?"

She offered him a weary smile, "She was my mother. Belladonna Baggins at your service. Did you know her?"

He appeared saddened by the news of her mother's death. "Indeed, she was an elf friend and brought much light and laughter to these halls. If you wish, I can show you to chambers where you can freshen up before the meal."

Gratitude shone plainly on her face, "That would be much appreciated."

They had reached the top of the stairs and Lindir smiled down at her. "If you will follow me this way then, Lady Belladonna."

She murmured, "Just Bella please, Belladonna was my mother."

He nodded his understanding. They had made it all of three steps before there was a commotion behind them and suddenly Fili was between her and the elf. His expression was furious as he asked, "Where are you taking Mistress Baggins?"

Bella placed her hand on his shoulder, swallowing a grimace of pain. She said soothingly, "He's just taking me to a room so I can clean up before dinner. I won't be long."

Fili didn't take his eyes off the elf as he said stubbornly, "You should stay with the rest of the company."

Knowing that he was only concerned about her, she reigned in the reply that wanted to snap from her tongue. Taking a deep breath and wincing as she remembered why that wasn't a good idea, she said firmly, "Fili, I am tired, hungry, and I smell like troll. Lord Elrond has promised hospitality and his protection for our company. I will be fine. I'm just going to get cleaned up and then I'll met up with the rest of you. I appreciate you watching out for me, I really do."

He said warily, "But?"

She shook her head. "No but. I appreciate your concern." The murmurs from the rest of the company grew louder. "You should rejoin them and let them know that I'll be back as soon as I've cleaned up."

He looked like he wanted to protest, but she gave him her best pleading expression and he caved. Scowling, he said to Lindir, "Should anything befall her, I will hold you responsible." With that, he turned on his heel and stormed back over to the company.

She muttered to Lindir, "Hurry, before they send someone else after me."

He nodded and they quickly started off down the hall, ignoring the agitated voices behind them. However, no one came after them and she relaxed a little once they had made it a few halls away. Finally Lindir stopped in front of a door. "These shall be your chambers while you are here in Rivendell. If you like, I can have some of your mother's things brought to you while yours are laundered. She always left several garments here."

The thought of dry, clean clothes was too tempting to pass up. "That would be lovely, thank you."

He hesitated, then said quietly, "I do not wish to pry, Lord Elrond is quite adamant about respecting guests privacy, but I couldn't help but notice that you seem to be in some pain. May I send a healer to your rooms?"

The throbbing of her various bruises and hurts and the opportunity to get help without alerting Thorin to her state was what decided her in the end. "I would appreciate that. A female healer if at all possible. Now, I'd better get cleaned up before my companions come in search of me."

He nodded, "I'll send a healer to your chambers right away as well as someone to escort you to where the rest of your company is whenever you are ready. May the star's light guide you, Lady Bella."

He bowed and left her. Walking into the room, she let her pack fall carelessly onto the floor, unable to bear it's weight on her abused shoulders for a moment longer. Her natural curiosity stirred and she investigated the set of rooms that she'd been given. There was a bed chamber, a sitting room, and a bathing room. It was the last that she was most excited about. Oh, to be clean again! She swore that the stench of troll was burned into her poor noise.

* * *

Setting down her quill, she crinkled her nose as she remembered the stench of troll. Even after all this time and distance, Bella could remember the smell like it had just happened. Standing, she stretched her cramping muscles. It was time for lunch and a break. Knowing now what she knew about dwarves, she realized that the company wouldn't have just let her walk away so easily. She wondered what Gandalf had done to stop them. She would have to ask him sometime, should he ever come by way of the Shire again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Radagast's line about his rabbits! So no Fili this chapter, maybe in the next one.
> 
> Next Chapter: Bella is not pleased by the behavior of either party at dinner. One should never argue with a hobbit on matters concerning either manners or food. You will be put, politely but firmly, into your place.


	9. Don't argue with hobbits about manners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics - Sindarin  
Bold - Iglishmek

After eating lunch and putting on a stew to simmer slowly for dinner, Bella sat back down. She sat there with the book unopened in front of her for several minutes. The house around her was silent, the only sound the crackling of the fire and the quiet bubbling of the stew. Outside, the wind was whistling gently about the eaves. If she listened hard enough, she could almost imagine that it sounded like music. This drew her back to Rivendell and the quiet sound of elvish music being played in the back ground. The phantom melody playing in her ears, she started writing again.

* * *

She had had to fight back tears when she emerged from bath to find a package waiting on the bed for her. It contained the promised clothing. When she opened it, the scent of lavender and cloves washed over her. That had been her mother's favorite scent, both spicy and sweet at the same time, much like her mother had been. As the scent wound around her, she couldn't help but smile. It was an unexpected gift, to find a little bit of her mother in this unexpected place. She slipped on one of the shifts and was pleased to find that the soft fabric fit well enough that she should be able to wear the dresses without problems.

A noise from the sitting room caught her attention. She looked around hastily for a weapon. Finding a candlestick that would do in a pinch, she grabbed it and tiptoed over to the door that divided the sitting room from the rest of the suite. Opening it enough that she could peek out, she found that the noise had been a female elf entering the room, a healing satchel in her hands.

Feeling sheepish, she opened the door after hastily placing the candlestick on a small side table. She smiled at the elf but the elf was staring at her in concern. "Milady, you're all over bruises."

Bella looked down to see that the bruises had darkened and her body was colorful indeed. Knowing that the woman was wondering if the dwarves were hurting her and resenting the implication, she said tartly, "That's what happens when you tangle with trolls."

The healer's eyes widened, "Trolls?"

Padding back into the bedroom, she called, "Three of them. About a day away west of here, roughly. They seemed to have had a rather nasty habit of eating travelers. They won't be bothering anyone else now though."

The woman followed her. "Are you saying that you and the dwarves killed them."

Bella snarked, "They stayed up too late." The scent from her mother's clothes reached her again and she sighed. Taking a deep breath and a firm grip on her fraying temper, she said, "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. Let's start over. Belladonna Baggins at your service."

The elf woman softened as well, "I apologize as well, I should not have been so ready to accuse your companions. I am Gwyneth. I am here to help you with your wounds."

Bella smiled at her, "As you can see, Gwyneth, I am in need of your services. I'll tell you how this happened while you tend them, how does that sound?"

Gwyneth smiled at her. "I have a feeling that this is going to be an excellent story."

* * *

The guide that Lindir had promised her was waiting outside when she emerged. The elf bowed and led the way without speaking. She was content to follow him in silence, studying the halls as she went. She wanted to find her way back to her room and her belongings unaided if need be. It didn't hurt that the architecture was absolutely breath taking.

Her guide led her to what appeared to be a banquet hall before bowing and disappearing. Taking a deep breath, Bella smoothed down the skirts of her burnt orange gown. Her mother had loved the color, said that it reminded her of long rambles in the fall through the Shire, when the air was crisp and you would come home and drink mugs of spiced cider in front of a roaring fire. And she'd always said that the color brought out the cinnamon highlights in Bella's brown curls.

Gathering her courage, she opened the door and slipped inside. The company was gathered around the table. They had also taken the opportunity to bathe if their damp hair and neater clothes were any indication. However, they also had plates in front of them, indicating that they had been there for a while. A trio of elves were playing music softly off to one side, creating a soothing atmosphere. Thorin and Gandalf were at the head of the table on either side of Elrond.

She hesitated by the door, studying the people. Surprisingly, Thorin, Gandalf, and Elrond seemed to be having a civil conversation. Of course, they were examining the elvish swords that Gandalf had found in the troll hole, so that could have something to do with their apparent truce. She hid a snicker as she saw that Kili was trying to flirt with the elf maids, badly. However, when she looked at the rest of the dwarves, she saw unhappiness. They were picking at the food in front of them and she saw Dori trying to tempt Ori with something green that the younger dwarf was stubbornly refusing. Fili's plate was completely empty, his arms crossed over his chest and a stubborn expression on his face.

As if he'd felt her watching him, he looked up and saw her standing by the door. Relief crossed his features and he quickly rose and made his way over to her. He said quietly, "There you are. I was beginning to worry that the elves were going to hold you hostage."

She rolled her eyes at him but offered him a fond smile. "A hostage has to be valuable and I am only a simple Shire lass. Besides, they would've happily given me back to stop you lot from raising a ruckus."

He led her over to a seat between himself and Gandalf. "Make no mistake, we would've torn this place apart to find you."

She smiled up at him, "Well, as you can see, I have been safely returned and hopefully no longer smell like troll. I think that smell is burnt into my nose."

He sat down and grinned at her. "They were rather foul, weren't they? I'm surprised that we couldn't smell them from a mile away."

Looking over the dishes, she asked him, "Why is your plate empty?"

He sighed but admitted, "I was waiting for you. Also," he hesitated. "This isn't exactly dwarven fare."

Reining in her hunger, she took the time to look, truly look, at the table and occupants of the room. As a matter of fact, now that she looked, there wasn't a single dish with meat on the table. The dwarves were mostly poking at the food, even their hunger not enough to make them want to eat the dishes. She frowned as she saw the amount of food that was being wasted. Glancing up at the servers that were stationed around the perimeter of the room, she saw them giving each other sly glances and smug smirks. Then she heard Elrond make a comment about odd traveling companions.

She couldn't say what came over her. Her father would certainly have been scandalized over how she spoke, especially to lords and kings, even if he was just a king-in-exile. As a matter of fact, most of Hobbiton would probably be appalled by her behavior. But she was not the hobbit that she had been when she had left the Shire, the one who bit her tongue and did her best to be respectable. But if there was three things that she knew, it was food, manners, and hospitality. Maybe it was wearing her mother's dress, maybe it was everything that she had been through in the past forty-eight hours, but she suddenly had enough.

Turning to Lord Elrond, she said sharply, _"I thought that this is the Last Homely House of the East, milord. It appears that I have been misinformed."_

He frowned at her, _"I'm afraid that I don't understand, Mistress Baggins. Have your needs not been taken care of?"_

Her eyes flashed and her tone turned hard, _"Look at your table and your guests. I don't know how things work here, but in the Shire, we care for our guests according to their needs, not our convenience. I know that you are elves and are justly proud of your heritage, but your guests are dwarves and you shame yourselves by failing to offer them every courtesy. But it is true that I am a simple Shire Lass and you are an elven lord renowned for his wisdom, so perhaps I have misread the situation and you have not yet brought out the rest of the feast?"_

Elrond's frown did not ease, but he did as she asked and studied the table in front of him. Then his frown deepened fractionally and he motioned a server over.

Bella's attention was distracted by movement in the corner of her eye. Turning, she saw Bofur start to rise. She snapped, "Bofur." When he turned and looked over her, she signed, **"Whatever you are doing, forget it. Sit back down and behave or I will know the reason why."**

The dwarves gaped at her and Fili asked her quietly, "How?"

Seeing that she had all of the dwarves attention and not wanting to air company business, she moved her hands just enough so that they were clearly visible to all of the dwarves. **"It wasn't hard to pick up, you all use it continually. Plus, it would be rude if I couldn't speak at least a few words. I know that Bifur understands common, but it would be rude to a hold a conversation that he couldn't participate in simply because I was just too lazy to learn a few words. Now all of you need to get your act together. I know that the elves have shown you discourtesy, but there is no reason to play into their expectations. Tell me this, what would you do if elves came into your halls and behaved as you have? There would be war over it doubtless. But when you signed up for this quest, you agreed to leave everything behind in the hopes of reclaiming a home. Are you really going to jeopardize the entire thing for some petty satisfaction?"**

The dwarves grumbled but settled down, especially when Thorin signed and reinforced what she said. Gandalf murmured so quietly that she was the only one who heard, "Well done, Bella."

Before she could reply, servants started streaming in with more platters of food, all of these containing some sort of meat. Looking at Elrond, she offered him a small smile and he nodded regally at her. The dwarves set to with gusto and Bella was pleased that a crisis had been averted. Right then, the delicious aromas reached her nose and her stomach reminded her firmly that she hadn't eaten in some time.

She was reaching for a platter when Lindir appeared at her side. "Milady, you are not to lift anything for the next twenty-four hours, remember? Please permit me to serve you."

She flushed but allowed him to do so, indicating several dishes that she would like to try. Noticing this, Thorin motioned for Nori to follow the elf and question him about what he was talking about. After he finished serving her, Lindir gave a shallow bow and left. Bella was so busy enjoying her meal that she didn't notice Nori rise and slip out after the elf. If she did, she would've been very concerned. But she didn't and so she enjoyed the meal greatly.

Gandalf was busy talking with Elrond, but she and Fili had a lively conversation about the meal and comparing the meals that they had grown up with. Every time her plate was starting to run low, Fili would absently fill it while still talking with her. Still, he must have been paying attention to what she was eating because he always refilled the dishes that she liked and avoided those that she didn't.

Finally, she laid aside her fork, unable to eat another bite. Leaning back in her chair, she felt drowsiness start to wash over her. She was clean, warm, dry, and full for the first time in what felt like forever. She had to hastily cover a yawn and she apologized quietly to Fili. He just chuckled and told her to look at the rest of the table. The rest of the group were settling back into their chairs, contentment stealing over their faces. A few had already pulled out pipes and were puffing away contentedly.

Fili rose and held out his hand, "I think everyone is about ready to call it a night. Allow me to escort you to your chambers."

Taking his hand, she allowed him to pull her to her feet. He paused just long enough to tell Thorin where he was going and then they headed out. Feeling fairly confident that she could find her way back to her rooms, she turned right when they left the banquet hall. As they walked, he asked, "That dress is lovely but I don't believe that I've ever seen you wear it before. Did you bring it with you from home?"

She smiled at him, "No, this was actually here at Rivendell. You see, my mother was a Took and an adventurous lass as well. She love to travel and one of the places that she visited was here. She had left some dresses here to wear when she visited and the elves offered them to me. It was like getting a small piece of my mother back."

He offered quietly, "I can't imagine what it would be like to lose your mother. I'm glad that you got something of hers to remind you of her. If she was anything like her daughter, she's one special lady."

Bella felt herself blushing and couldn't find the words to reply. Fili suddenly chuckled, "I have never seen anyone so shocked as the company when you suddenly started using iglishmek."

She admitted quietly, "I was too mad to think, I hope that I didn't mis-sign anything. My grasp isn't all that great yet and I am really just guessing at a few of them."

"You did quite well. If you want to learn more, I'd be happy to teach you."

They had reached her rooms and she stopped, covering another yawn. "I would really appreciate it. But right now, I really need sleep. Good night Fili." With that, she slipped into her room and shut the door behind her.

He murmured, "Good night Bella." Slipping his hands into his pockets, he walked away whistling a cheerful tune to rejoin the company.

* * *

Noting that her inkwell was nearly empty, she set aside her quill. She couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips. She still didn't know where the courage to chide the elves and the dwarves had come from. As a matter of fact, Elrond had reacted with grace after being upbraided by a hobbit woman who was out of her depth and far from home. And the fact that Thorin had backed her up had been shocking as well. Still, an incident had been avoided and all parties had left the table satisfied for the moment.

Still, her heart ached when she thought of the golden prince. There had been so many missed opportunities on the quest. If she had known how things were going to turn out, she would've spent every moment that she could by his side, cherished every moment. Instead, she had gone her own way blissfully, not really thinking about what the future would bring.

Sensing melancholy creeping up, she swiftly stood. She needed to snap out of this. That was enough writing for the day anyway. Baked goods needed to be done for the coming week anyway and now was as good time as any. Tucking the book into the desk drawer and locking it, she hung the key around her neck and made her way to the kitchen. Nothing like kneading bread to work out some of her frustration.

* * *

Searching through the treasury for the materials for the bracelet he was planning, Fili accidentally knocked over a small jewelry chest, causing it to spill across the floor. Sighing, he bent down and started scooping it back into the chest. However, one piece in particular caught his eye. It was a bracelet crafted out of spessartine garnets that glowed with the warmth of a hearth fire. Examining it, he could almost see a dress of the same shade in the back of his mind and a voice whose tone was laced with both sadness and joy speaking, although he couldn't make out the words.

Tucking the bracelet into his pocket, he continued his search for materials. For reasons that he didn't understand, this bracelet was very important. He couldn't help but feel that it carried the same weight as the first courting gift, the one that showed how you saw the person you wanted to court and showed off your skill to them as well. First gifts were sacred and this bracelet carried the same feeling, even if he couldn't say who it was for. Maybe Kili was right and he had already met his One. If that was the case, he would just have to find her again. And until he did find her, he would make sure that this bracelet was crafted with every ounce of skill that he possessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The color of Bella's gown: http://youreventdelivered.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/POLYBURNTORANGE.jpg
> 
> The bracelet that Fili found: https://www.liveauctioneers.com/item/66774025_55174-spessartine-garnet-diamond-gold-bracelet-the
> 
> Next chapter - The dwarves find out about Bella's injuries and Bella takes full advantage of their time in Rivendell
> 
> Reviews are greatly appreciated :)


	10. A pleasant interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bella was sulking and missing her dwarves, I had to lure the next bit of the story out of her over tea and scones. Enjoy!

Frustration and loneliness kept her away from the book for several days, but the draw proved to be stronger and a week later found her sitting back down at her desk. She double checked that the inkwell was full and the fire burning brightly, then she picked up the quill and started writing again.

* * *

She had slept well that night, full and free of pain. Not to mention the first bed that she had had access to in weeks. There had even been a tentative truce between the elves and the dwarves, all in all a good night. All of these things combined to give her a dreamless night of true sleep.

She rose the next morning truly refreshed, her mood light and cheerful. Dressing in another of her mother's dresses, this one a pale lilac, she practically danced from the rooms only to draw up short. Dwalin was leaning on the wall across from her door, his arms crossed and his expression set. Startled, she blurted, "Good morning."

He nodded then rumbled, "Thorin wants to see you." 

She just knew that she was blushing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sleep so late. Have you been waiting long?"

He shrugged and stood to his full height. "This way."

She fell into step with him, the silence oddly comfortable. Many people were probably intimidated by Dwalin, and he was an imposing dwarf by any standards, but she had caught glimpses of a core of honor and nobility in him. More than once she had caught him watching over her from a distance, not actively helping but making sure that she wasn't in trouble. And a couple of times he had offered her a few words of advice on one thing or another to do with outdoor survival. Thanks to him, she had learned how to set up a snare.

As they walked through the halls, Dwalin said quietly, "Most folk fear me. They either talk nonstop or they are silent, flinching when I so much as look at them."

She took a moment to puzzle out what he was asking. She said slowly, "So why am I not scared of you?"

He nodded, scanning their surroundings absently for threats. "Aye."

She chose her words with care, knowing instinctively that others had hurt him in the past with their sharp words and fear of him. "You are an intimidating dwarf and I have no doubt that you would be a merciless enemy to have. But I have come to see another side of you, the part of you that is your undying loyalty and nobility. You are a warrior, but you have an unbending code of honor. I know that you were not pleased with the decision to include me in the company. But you have afforded me every courtesy that you offer the rest of the company, no more and no less. I feel safe knowing that you are willing to stand between us and the darkness as well as fight by our side. You are a rare dwarf indeed and it is my privilege to know you, Dwalin, son of Fundin."

He turned the words over in his head, testing them, their sincerity and truthfulness. They reached the rooms where the company was lodged and he opened the door for her. As she passed, he murmured, "I thank you for your kind words. My brother is the one that's gifted with knowing the right things to say. But your words, they mean a lot to me."

She smiled at him and nodded understandingly before walking into the room. She blinked as she found the rest of the company gathered around a laden table that was obviously breakfast. Glancing at the clock, she amended, brunch. However, they were eating and talking quietly, not the boisterous group that she had grown used to. She looked at Dwalin but he just ushered her wordlessly further into the room.

Thorin looked up at that moment and noticed them. "Ah, there you are. Please join us, Mistress Baggins."

She stiffened slightly as she suddenly remembered the conversation between Fili and Thorin. Still, she wouldn't quail from him. Lifting her chin just a fraction, she made her way over to a empty spot between Bofur and Fili. When she sat, they immediately began filling her plate, asking occasionally if she'd prefer one dish or the other. She thanked them both, but hesitated to pick up her fork before Thorin motioned for her to go ahead and eat.

She took a bite and her appetite woke up with a vengeance. Thorin allowed her to eat enough to take off the edge before he spoke up. The rest of the table fell silent when he spoke up, "So, Mistress Baggins, I have a question for you."

Sensing a trap, she said warily, "Yes?"

His voice was calm but there was a sharp edge in it, "I was wondering if you ever planned on informing us of your injuries from the trolls?"

That hadn't been the question that she had been expecting. Still, he was being direct, so she would respond in kind. Lifting her chin, she said calmly, "No, I wasn't."

And there was the expected scowl, "And why would you consider it a good idea to hide injuries from us? And don't try to say that it wasn't a big deal. We had to learn from the elves that you were covered in bruises, had three cracked ribs, and if your shoulders hadn't been treated when they were, you could've lost the use of your arms."

Bella set her fork aside. An open discussion was long overdue. She looked around carefully, but only the company was in the room. Good, no one in Rivendell besides themselves needed to hear this. "There are three reasons that I did not plan on telling you. First, there was no time. I was going to speak to Oin about bruise ointment when the warg scouts showed up. Then we were running for our lives. Even when we reached the passage, there was no guarantee that we wouldn't be ambushed. I was already a liability by not knowing how to fight, I wasn't going to add to it by having a fighter have to stay back and guard me."

His scowl deepened but he didn't speak, which she took as permission to continue. "Second, I was truly unaware of the extent of my injuries. Other than the usual childhood scrapes and bruises, I have never been truly injured. I had no way to judge if the injuries were serious or if they would pass. All I knew was that they hurt."

Nori nodded and said, "That's a fair point."

Thorin scowled at the thief, but he just grinned cheekily. Thorin ground out, "What was the third reason?"

"I'll be blunt. I know that you were not happy at having me join the company, despite allowing me to sign the contract. I'd overheard you and Fili talking one day about sending me back to the Shire. After messing up with the trolls and endangering the company, I did not want to give you yet another reason to see me as weak and leave me behind. I signed a contract and a Baggins never breaks their word. I will see this through, even if I have to follow you the entire way to do so."

Thorin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking several breaths to seemingly leash his temper. Finally he looked up and met her eyes, allowing his hand to drop. He said quietly, "Since you have given me your honesty, I will give you mine. You are correct that I did not want you to come, for several reasons. The biggest that you're a lass, but also because you have no weapons training and we're on a dangerous quest that only has a slim chance of succeeding. If we were not truly desperate, we would not attempt to do this. But I have watched you since we have left the Shire and, you have surprised me. You don't complain, you do your share and then some, and you treat all of the members of the company as equals. The troll fiasco was a mess, start to finish. However, my nephews have shared their part in it. Also, thanks to your courage and also your quick thinking, we came through fairly unscathed."

She glanced over at Fili and Kili and they nodded, although Kili rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Turning back to Thorin, she said softly, "So where does this leave us?"

"If you are to continue with us, there will be some conditions. One, you will train with Dwalin daily until he is satisfied that you have at least basic defensive capabilities."

Bella smiled at the tattooed dwarf and he nodded back. "That's fair. What else?"

"If you are hurt, you must tell someone as soon as possible. That is non-negotiable. Anything larger than a bruise or small cut and you tell someone."

She sighed but nodded, knowing that she would never get him to budge on this one. "Anything else?"

"I realize that you've been treading carefully. However, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. If you have a question or see something important, you need to bring it to one of us. Although it troubles me to have you on this quest, we are not going to reject you for being yourself."

She gave him a smile that was small but genuine. "Thank you. I actually do have a question."

He merely raised an eyebrow. 

"How long will be in Rivendell? I'm afraid I arrived late and missed that bit."

Thorin grumbled, "We shall be here until midsummer's eve, so that Lord Elrond can read the moon runes on my map."

Her eyes lit up at that and the company stared at her. Feeling her cheeks heat, she said, "I've heard that Rivendell has some of the finest libraries in all of Arda. This will give me time to do a little research." Now that the tense part of the conversation was over, she started eating again. "Ori, would you like to come with me?"

Dori started to protest, but Bella asked innocently, "Would you stand in the way of something that will only increase Ori's suitableness as a scribe? Think of all the knowledge he can glean while he is here."

Nori's eyes gleamed with suppressed laughter and he winked at her when Dori sputtered but caved. 

Thorin said, "One more thing, Mistress Baggins."

She said cheerfully, "Bella, please. If we're going to be traveling together for months more, I insist."

He sighed but said, "Bella, then. I want you accompanied by a member of the company at all times."

She protested, "I don't want to inconvenience anyone."

Thorin shook his head. "This is not an inconvenience. You are a member of our company as well as a lass. It is our honor to guard you."

The other dwarves nodded their agreement and Bella gave in. "Very well. At least poor Ori will not be bored, as I plan to spend most of my time in the libraries, aside from training with Dwalin of course."

He said, "Do as you will, but you will take your meals with the company as well."

Too excited to eat anymore, she nodded and got to her feet. Grinning, she said, "C'mon, Ori. I'm sure that we can find a library easily enough."

* * *

The next two weeks had been some of the best in Bella's memory. The libraries of Rivendell were truly magnificent. And now that she no longer had the threat of being left behind looming over her, she found herself opening up to the company. Although she was clumsy and weak as a newborn kitten, Dwalin was endlessly patient and kind with her, showing her over and over again until it finally clicked. She was very grateful for this as she saw the way that he trained the dwarves, and it was intense, to put it nicely. Ori was ecstatic about the libraries and Dori often tagged along to keep an eye on them. Nori also finally gave in and approached her. He was currently teaching her his trade, although most of her training seemed to be sneaking things back that he had nicked.

She made sure that she sat between Bombur and Bifur at meals, trading recipes with one and learning more iglishmek from the other, although she also made sure that he had plenty of none meat choices to eat from as well. Sometimes she was between Bifur and Bofur instead of Bombur. The cheery miner brightened the meal with his jokes and stories. However, she felt that despite his cheerfulness, Bofur was steady and reliable and sometimes took too much on himself trying to protect his brother and cousin. So sometimes when he slipped into silence, she would just sit companionably with him until it passed and he was his cheerful self again. She never asked and he never volunteered, but she had a feeling that he appreciated her unquestioning companionship.

On the second day, Kili had seen her training with Dwalin and had the bright idea that she should learn archery. That was a comedy of errors, but Kili was so happy to have someone to share his archery with that she couldn't say no. Again, she made a mental note to learn how to resist his puppy eyes.

But by far her favorite was the time that she spent with Fili. They would stroll through or sit in the garden for hours, talking about everything and nothing. They shared about everything from their childhoods to their dreams of the future. Fili never mocked her for being odd or not respectable, but drew out things that she had never dared tell another. And the more he told her about himself, the more she knew that he would make an incredible leader for his people when the time came. His dreams and hopes for his people were breath taking and she longed to be part of making it happen.

However, as much as she wished it, time never stood still. All too soon it was midsummer's eve and Elrond was able to read the runes upon Thorin's map. The company had to depart under the cover of darkness to avoid being detained by the council, as they surely would if they knew what Thorin's company was truly up to. Bella looked back only once, knowing that she would cherish her memories of Rivendell for years to come.

* * *

Fili woke feeling content, a feeling that he hadn't felt in far too long. Stretching luxuriously, he got up and made his way over to his desk. Pulling out the bracelet design, he carefully added a third charm, taking his time to make sure that every line was right. Lifting his quill, he found the it was an elvish star flower, elegant in it's simplicity. Brushing his finger over it, a smile crept onto his face. He didn't know why, but that charm made him feel happy. Like a cherished memory that one held closely during the hard times, to prove that there was still beauty in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, but I feel like Dwalin has a gentle heart under his warrior exterior.
> 
> Next Chapter - This chapter will be all about Fili. I know that some of you are dying to see his end of things.


	11. Haunting Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - This chapter is heavy with Fili angst. As much as I wanted to skip over it, it had to be written. That's what took me so long to get it out.
> 
> Enjoy!

Bella wrote slowly over the next several weeks of their trip after Rivendell. All the little moments that she hadn't realized were so important at the time, but meant everything to her now that she had lost her family. Of walking all day, laughing and joking. Of night skies so full of stars that it felt like you could reach out and touch one. Of learning dwarven lore and all the little ins and outs of the people that she would come to call family. Like how Dwalin had an insatiable sweet tooth, but that what he adored more than anything was sugar cookies. That Oin's hearing injury had happened on a battlefield when he had shielded two young healing apprentices from an enormous goblin with a club. How Bifur's injury sometimes gave him nightmares and on those nights it left Bofur hollow eyed and quiet in the morning. That Fili and Kili, despite being fearsome warriors, were the youngest of the company by an appreciable bit, as was Ori. They loved to pull pranks, but always knew when to be serious and watchful.

The nights that they sat around the fire as it died down to embers, the dwarves deep voices lifted in songs that moved her and inevitably left her breathless with the sheer emotion that they provoked. And rarely, when the company could manage to coax her into it, she would lift her own voice, her mezzo-soprano a bright counterpoint to the dwarves deep rich tones. Occasionally they would ask for a story and if she wasn't too tired, she would oblige, weaving fantastical tales about the world around them and legends of old.

There had been so many little moments, moments that she would treasure as fiercely as any dwarf treasured their kin, as Smaug had treasured his hoard. And she would remember them forever.

* * *

Fili slumped against the edge of the battlement, ignoring the freezing bite of the wind. It was bitter outside and he wouldn't be able to stay out long without risking frostbite, but he needed to just be out there for a few minutes, to clear his head. How had this whole mess started? When did things start spiraling out of control? Things had been not quite right ever since he had first woken up, but now, now he was starting to doubt his own sanity. Thinking back, it had started after he had drawn the third charm.

* * *

The day after he had drawn the third charm, he had started crafting the bracelet. It was finicky work, every tiny bit of it had to be exactly right. He hadn't gotten far, had just started shaping the outline for the first forget-me-not, the part that would later hold the gems that would make up the actual flower. That was the moment when Kili decided to come bouncing into his room, declaring loudly, "Fee, I'm bored. Come spar with me."

Fili didn't even bother to look up, "I can't, Kee. Busy. Maybe later."

Easily distracted, Kili came over, "What are you working on?"

Reaching for a different set of pliers, he nodded at the parchment. "That. Be careful."

Kili picked it up and examined the sketch closely before whistling, "That's some really intricate work, nadad. But why are there missing charms?"

Fili frowned, "I don't know what they are yet. I'll make them when I know."

Kili studied it some more before saying, "This looks like a first courting gift, Fee. Anything you want to tell me?"

He looked at him, puzzled. "We talked about this, remember? I have no clue who my One is. But I have to create this bracelet. I don't know why, but it's important."

It was Kili's turn to frown. "I don't remember that conversation. Odd. What do the charms mean?"

Fili's frustration rose and he gave a short shrug. "I don't know. They're just right. If I ever figure it out, I'll tell you."

His brother set the parchment carefully back onto the desk. "Well, since you're busy, maybe I'll get one of the others to spar with me." He paused and then said wistfully, "Or maybe I could make something for Tauriel as well."

He felt a surge of affection for Kili and his moping over the fact that Tauriel would be gone for the next few weeks overseeing her duties in Mirkwood. "I think that she would like that. Maybe something dainty with silver and emeralds, something to represent starlight and the forest?"

Kili's eyes lit up and he shot from the room without saying goodbye or by your leave. Shaking his head, Fili turned his attention back to carefully crafting the bracelet. In his intense focus on making sure that every detail was correct, it faded from his brain that Kili had forgotten the hours they had spent dissecting the journey trying to figure out if Fili had met his One or not.

* * *

The next week passed quietly enough as he went about and did his duties, making sure that the kingdom was coming back to life with as few problems as possible. If he had dreamed at all, he didn't remember it other than knowing that his dreams were pleasant. The bracelet was coming along well and would soon be ready for the gems, although he hadn't drawn any more charms.

It was when he was helping Dwalin with training that it hit him. He had been assigned the newest recruits, to help Dwalin assess their skill level and where to place them, what sort of training they would need, that sort of thing. They were running the recruits through all of the different weapons, to see if any of them showed special aptitude for a certain weapon.

They had tried bows and throwing knives and were now moving onto the swords. There was a rack of practice swords for them to chose from. He waited patiently for them to chose one and line up. This was another test and their choices would tell him a lot about the dwarves. As he went down the line, he made mental notes. However, there was a recruit that almost matched Dwalin in size and the practice sword looked like a child's toy in his hands.

As soon as he looked at it, a memory seemed to flash through his mind almost faster than he could see. Someone was boasting about their 'sword' and Nori had teased that it wasn't a sword, it was just an elvish letter opener. The person holding the sword had flushed and spun away, but called back that they'd make Nori eat his words. The memory was gone as swiftly as it came, but his chest ached abruptly. Dwalin's roar pulled him from his thoughts and he quickly resumed his inspection.

Once they had handed the recruits off to Dori for testing in war hammers, Dwalin pulled him aside and demanded, "What was that about, lad? Isn't like ye to freeze in the middle of something like this."

Absently rubbing his chest over his heart where he could still feel a faint twinge of pain, he shrugged. "I just spaced out for a second, I'm sorry. Guess I'm more tired than I thought."

Dwalin studied him for a minute before visibly deciding to let it go. "All right, ye've got a lot on yer shoulders lately. Just be careful not to let it happen in the middle of live training."

He had nodded and headed for his next duty, the glimmer of a sunlight on a dainty sword still gleaming in the back of his mind.

* * *

The next incident occurred less than twenty-four hours later. He had been listening to a report from Nori along with Thorin, Dis, and Balin. His uncle had been brilliant when he had made the star haired dwarf spymaster of Erebor. As Nori spoke, an image formed in his mind of Nori huddled together with someone, someone that had bare feet and not boots like a dwarf would. He had had a grin on his face that had made Fili instantly wary. What was he trying to get her to do? His brain did a side step at that. Who was Nori even talking to? But as he tried to focus on the memory, it drifted farther from reach until he had to give up at last in frustration. He turned his attention back to Nori and attempted to take in his report.

After the meeting was over, instead of leaving with the rest, Nori came over and plopped down into the seat across from him. "What seems to be troubling you, lad?"

Fili pulled himself together and offered the dwarf a small smile. "What makes you think anything's bothering me? Everything's fine."

Nori shook his head. "You're a lousy liar. Don't think I didn't notice your brain going elsewhere during the meeting. Now, I'll ask ya again. What's going on?"

Fili sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Nothing is wrong, really. I don't know how to put it. It's just, ever since I woke up, something seems, off. Like there's something missing, but I can't remember what it was. However, no one else seems to be feeling like this, so maybe it's just a remnant of my head wound."

Nori leaned back and laced his fingers together, looking thoughtful. "I know what you mean, lad. It's like there's someone missing from our group, but everyone's still there. I keep going to talk to someone, tell them something important, some trick of the trade, ya know? But when I turn around, there's no one there. It's like the answer is just out of my reach. If I weren't so busy, it'd driven me batty by now."

Fili grimaced, "At least I'm not the only one, then. You weren't hit on the head during the battle too, were you?"

Nori barked out a laugh. "No, I wasn't. Tell you what, I'll keep an ear out, spend a little time investigating. Maybe I'll turn something up. But if this feeling keeps persisting, I suggest that you go talk to my brother. He'll probably be able to help you out better than I can."

Gathering up his notes, Fili asked, "Which one?"

"Ori of course. Dori wouldn't do you a lick of good unless you wanted some clothes or a new blend of tea. Ori kept a journal of the quest, maybe he has something written down in there that will help you clear it up."

Fili nodded, "If this keeps up, I'll definitely talk to him. Thanks."

* * *

The next week, the flashes of what he wanted to call memory occurred more and more. He'd often wake up from dreams with a teasing glimpse of something, eyes, curly hair, laughter that brought out a small dimple in a cheek. He started drawing the images before they could fade away to wherever it was that they went. And it wasn't just limited to dreams. Random things would trigger images that he had no memory of but that felt real. He'd taken to carrying a blank journal with him and jotting down the 'memory bits' as he'd taken to calling them. The person from his dreams were also a part of them memories and he'd sketch the tiny glimpses that he saw of them. Finally he had what seemed to be a sketch of a bonny lass with green eyes and curly hair. But no matter how he stared at the picture, how the sight made his heart ache, he couldn't figure out who she was or if she was just a figment of his imagination.

Finally he gave in and sought out Ori. The young scribe was overseeing the restoration of the library, but he took a break so he could talk to the prince. There was a new confidence in Ori as he grinned at Fili. "What brings you to my corner of Erebor?"

Fili hesitated, "Nori said that I should talk to you."

Ori rolled his eyes, "What scheme has he dragged you into now?"

Fili grinned at Ori, remembering some of Nori's more memorable shenanigans. "Nothing like that. I have some questions about the quest and he said that you would be the best person to answer them."

Ori sat up straighter at that. "Oh, yes. What do you want to know?"

"Nori said that you kept a journal of the quest, could I borrow it?"

Ori looked sheepish. "Well, it seems that I somehow misplaced it during all of the chaos of reclaiming Erebor and the battle and everything. I'm rewriting it, but it's taking longer because of my other duties. What is it that you're looking for?"

Fili said quietly, "I know this is going to sound crazy, but was there another person on the quest. Besides us that are here and accounted for, I mean."

Ori stared at him for a minute before saying just as quietly, "No, it was just the thirteen of us, why? What makes you think that there was someone else?"

It was all Fili could do not to squirm. "I just have some questions. Things just aren't adding up somehow."

Ori tapped his fingers on the table in a rhythm that only he could hear. "Like what?"

"Like why Uncle Thorin would go on such an important quest with a company of thirteen dwarves. You know that that is not a good number."

Ori shrugged, "Maybe he counted Tharkun as the fourteenth, even though he often left the group to do his own things. What else?"

"Why just thirteen dwarves against Smaug? That's too small of a number to fight him and Smaug knew the smell of dwarf, so we wouldn't have been able to slip in and steal anything."

Ori opened his mouth to say something and then closed it, frowning thoughtfully. "You know, that's a good question. Have you talked to your uncle about it?"

Fili shook his head, "Not yet. I was hoping that your journal would have the answers I need. I know that you often sketched and drew in there as well as recorded our journey."

Ori looked confused, "Why would you want to see my sketches."

Fighting the part of him that wanted to keep the sketch hidden away and secret, Fili slowly pulled out his notebook. "I've been having, flashbacks, of memories that I don't truly remember but feel real, you know what I mean? And they all seem to center around the same person. But I can't remember them."

He slid the book over to Ori who carefully opened it. He studied the cheerful lass closely, his brow deeply furrowed. Finally, he said slowly, "I feel like I should know her, but I don't recognize her at all." He hesitated, trying to chose his words carefully before finally asking bluntly, "Are you sure that this isn't a product of your head injury?"

Fili took the book back and glanced at the lass before tucking it back into his pocket. "That has crossed my mind, several times as a matter of fact. But everything in me screams that she's real, that she's out there somewhere. I need to remember who she is." Ori just stared at him and Fili sighed tiredly. "Thanks Ori. I'll talk to uncle about why he chose to use thirteen dwarves. The library looks great. Keep up the good work."

He made his way out of the library, his hope to find answers slightly diminished. However, he couldn't, wouldn't give up his search for answers. Someone was depending on him to figure it out.

* * *

It was all of these things combined that had driven him out onto the battlements, the air biting and icy from where it blew over the Lake. He felt like he was going mad, only able to sleep in small snatches and had no appetite. Every where he looked seemed to spark another true-false memory and even his sleep was filled with images that seemed to taunt him by slipping out of reach as soon as he woke.

All he knew was that he ached to find her, the lass that was in his memories, the one that his heart was screaming to him was his One, but that no one seemed to know or remember. He had stopped asking after he started getting pitying looks and a couple of whispers about he still wasn't quite right after his head injury. Had the fall somehow managed to scramble his brain enough that it had conjured up a lass as his One, one so breathtaking that he ached every time he saw the sketch? He had kept adding small touches, small details that had seemed right at the time. But had he gone mad and no one had the heart to tell him that he was chasing phantoms? He had done his best to appear normal, to keep up with his duties to Erebor and her people. But the stress and strain was wearing on him and he didn't know how much longer he could keep it up.

Right then, Dwalin grabbed his arm, hauling him upright and pulling him out of his thoughts. He had to yell to be heard over the wind, "You fool Durin! What are ye trying to do out here, freeze to death?"

He suddenly became aware of the bitter cold and the fact that his face and hands were numb. He mumbled, "Sorry, didn't realize how long I'd been out here."

Dwalin had to lean in close to hear him and gave a snort when he finally deciphered what Fili had said. He roared, "It's a good thing that a guard fetched me. You Durins don't have a brain betwixt you. C'mon, let's head inside and get you warmed up. Erebor's not ready to have Kili as king."

Fili gave a hoarse chuckle and allowed Dwalin to drag him back into the mountain. As they stepped into Erebor, warmth washed over them and Fili shivered, finally realizing how cold he had gotten. However, Dwalin neither released him nor stopped walking. His teeth chattering, Fili forced out, "W..w..where ar..r..re y..you t..taking m..me?"

"To see your lady mother and tell her what foolishness ye've been up to."

Fili tried to plead and squirm out of Dwalin's hold to no avail. Finally he gave up and let Dwalin pull him along like a naughty dwarfling. How in the world was he ever going find the words to explain what was going on to his amad? The last thing that he wanted was pity from her. Not coddling, because his amad didn't believe in coddling, but pity that things had caused her eldest to have issue with his sanity. And then she would go hunt down her brother and demand that Thorin somehow fix it, probably after giving him a few lumps for putting Fili in this position in the first place.

For a moment he considered offering up his uncle as a sacrifice, but pushed the thought aside. His amad's wrath was not a thing to be provoked lightly. No, he needed to come up with a logical story and quickly, one that had nothing to do with phantom Ones or true-false memories or longings so deep and aching that he could hardly breath at times. 

No, better to skip over all of that entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I probably will not be posting for the next few days. I am testing tomorrow for my intermediate brown belt in International Kenpo Karate Jujitsu. This always leaves me sore and worn out for a few days afterwards. However, I'll try to get the next chapter out by the end of this week, beginning of next week at the latest.
> 
> Next Chapter - Legends are true, rocks are slippery when wet, and one should always be suspicious of fortuitously empty caves.


	12. Thunder Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I passed the test yesterday, I am now an intermediate brown belt (brown with one black stripe). However, I am so sore that I can barely move today, so I spent most of it writing. So you get an extra chapter early. Enjoy!

The winter festival was coming up and Bella was drawn into a whirlwind of preparation. Between trips to make sure that everything would be ready and having guests over to plan and visit, she hadn't dared to unlock the drawer with the book for over a week.

Finally the festival was set to happen in two days and everything was ready. Everything planned and delivered and just waiting for the actual day. Everyone would be spending the next day or so with their families getting ready, so she finally was left in blessed solitude. She waited until mid-morning, just to make sure that there would be no last minute unexpected visitors.

When eleven came and went and there was no knock, she all but ran to the den and the desk. Little things disturbed and moved slightly told her that someone had snooped, but she tested the drawer and found it still locked. She thought scornfully that it was most likely Lobelia, but made a note to find a better place to keep it in the future, should Lobelia be better prepared next time and have a key that might open the drawer. The last thing that she or the company needed was Lobelia finding out. That thought was sure to feature in some future nightmares.

Slipping the key from around her neck and opening it, she reached in and pulled out the book. She smoothed her fingers over the buttery leather cover, enjoying the cool smoothness below her touch. She wondered briefly is she was getting too attached, if she should stop writing in it. But the writing had been cathartic, had helped her heal a little bit, enough that she found it at least a little easier to deal with the people around her. She no longer felt like she was slowly suffocating from the weight of missing the company, unable to spend anything more than the briefest amount of time amongst hobbits and their fussy respectability. Now it was just a distant ache, one that she could push through and act as if there was nothing wrong, her smiles coming just a fraction easier. She knew that Fili would want her to be happy, but it was going to take time to reach a place where she could actually feel happiness again.

Mind made up, she opened the book and started to write.

* * *

They had been climbing so gradually that she didn't realize that they had reached the Misty Mountains until the landscape started changing from grassy to more rocky underfoot. Startled, she looked up to discover the mountains looming directly over her. She paused and looked back, at the landscape spread out below them. It was beautiful and green, in the prime of summer. Looking forward, the Misty Mountains lived up to their name, seeming to be shrouded in gloom and clouds.

Balin dropped back and told her a little bit about the history of the mountains, although since the fall of Erebor and the ever present creep of darkness, they had become much more dangerous than they had been. However, he and Thorin had discussed routes with Gandalf and Elrond, so they were reasonably sure of safe passage. Seeing her face pale as he talked about the dangers of the Misty Mountains, the royal advisor quickly changed tack and started talking about the legends of the Misty Mountains.

Bofur fell back and joined in, relating about the legend of stone giants, one of his favorites since he was a pebble. About how the giants were part of the very mountains themselves and slept most of the time. But sometimes, during thunderstorms, they would come out and either play or fight. They were said to be indistinguishable from the mountains themselves until they moved. You could walk right over them and never even know.

Right then Fili and Kili went tearing by with Ori hot on their heels and the conversation was done for the day. She tucked the information away as an interesting part of dwarven lore, but didn't really think anything of it beyond that. That was until a few days later when it came rushing back to her for reasons that she would've never foreseen.

The Misty Mountains had decided to live up to their names and there had been a fine drizzle all day, leaving them huddling in their cloaks for whatever protection they could gain from the pervasive wetness, their high spirits having turned into a wary watchfulness. The dwarves seemed unfazed by the slippery stone underfoot, walking steadily on the narrow path, unconcerned by the steep drop offs. She, on the other hand, was struggling. Her feet kept slipping repeatedly on slick stones and the dwarves often had to steady her. And the drop offs made her head swim dizzyingly, so she would often just focus on the boots of the dwarf in front of her when they were making their way past that part.

And if that wasn't miserable enough, as afternoon was fading into evening, not that you could really tell in the gloom, the heavens opened and poured out a full blown storm complete with driving rain and thunder and lightening. However, there was no shelter available so they pushed on. She had been placed between Bofur and Dwalin, both of whom steadied her when she slipped or a particularly strong wind gust would unbalance her. She was practically clinging to the sheer rock face on her left in a desperate bid not to fall off the mountain. A tiny, tiny voice in the back of her head asked her sarcastically why she had though running of on an adventure was a good idea, but Bella quickly squashed it. 

It was then that the conversation from a few days came rushing back when Balin stopped and called out, "This is no thunder storm, this is a thunder battle! Look!"

Bella looked where he pointed and felt the blood drain from her face. For there, right in front of her, a piece of the mountain across the way moved away from the rest and revealed it to be one of the stone giants from legend. She cringed back against the rock face behind her but Bofur stepped forward to get a better look. His voice was filled with awe as he said, "Bless me, the legends are true! Giants! Stone giants!"

The giant in front of them chose that moment to launch a boulder that she would swear was larger than those oliphaunts that she had heard about seemingly straight at them. However, it wasn't aimed at them but behind them, striking a second giant square in the face. This caused the second giant to reel back into their mountain which triggered a rockfall. The rocks crashed down, breaking off some of the narrow path that they had been so carefully navigating and she tried to press farther back into the rock behind her. Dwalin had his arm spread in front of her, trying to shield her the best he could.

The rocks had barely stopped falling when the very mountain seemed to move beneath them. Swallowing hard, a small eep escaped her when she realized that they were standing on one of the giants and that giant was getting up to join the battle. Before her mind could pull together enough to think anything beyond Yavanna have mercy, the first giant came over and headbutted their giant, knocking it back into the mountain and jarring the company, although thankfully none were dislodged. Knowing that their chances of survival were slim if they remained where they were, they bolted for the section of path that had lain on the far side of the giant.

Despite their best efforts, only about half of the company made it onto stable ground before the giant recovered and moved to join the ongoing battle. As they moved away from safety, she saw the raw fear for them on the faces of the dwarves who had made it to relative safety. Relative because no where was truly safe in the middle of a thunder battle as was proven when one of the giants gouged a stone out of the mountain above them to use as a weapon, causing rocks to rain down on them.

Clinging desperately to the stone giant, she looked across at the dwarves as they swung by and saw Thorin clinging to his axe with a white knuckled grip, trying frantically to work out a way to save them. This proved to be a moot point as their stone giant ended up getting his head knocked off when the other two ganged up on him. The body reeled forward, heading straight for the mountain. Fili shouted, "We have to jump. Everyone get ready!"

Her heart pounding a frantic beat, Bella tried to coax herself to let go of her death grip, knowing that if she didn't jump, she would die. Then the mountain was right in front of them and there was no more time to think. But as she jumped, her foot slipped and she almost missed the ledge entirely. As she scrabbled frantically for a handhold, she heard Thorin's yell of heartbroken denial. Glancing down trying to find a foothold, she saw the body of the giant fall away down into the ravine below. As she dangled by her fingertips, the breath knocked from her, she heard the sound of running footsteps and then Gloin calling out that they were alive. If it weren't for her precarious position, she would've let out a sigh of relief.

However, before she could manage to draw in enough breath to call for help, she heard Bofur call, "Where's Bella? Where is she?"

She saw Ori and Bofur appear above her right as her fingers slipped, she dropped a good foot before her left hand managed to grab hold of another outcropping, a short scream ripped out of her. Both dwarves screamed for her to take their hands, their arms outstretched as far as they could go. She reached frantically but despite her best efforts, her arm was just not quite long enough.

Then Thorin was beside her, perched precariously on a tiny outcropping. He boosted her just enough that she could reach Bofur's hand and get pulled up before the ledge crumbled under him. Only Dwalin's quick reflexes saved him and the burly dwarf managed to haul the king back up to safety. They all just sat there for several seconds, breathing hard and wide eyed, unable to believe yet that they had survived it.

Dwalin helped Thorin to his feet and glanced over to where Bella was sitting on the ground, her face bone white. "I thought we'd lost our burglar."

Realizing that they were talking about her, she looked over just in time to met Thorin's heated glare, "She's been lost, ever since she left home. She should've never have come. She has no place amongst us." He moved off, calling for Dwalin.

Dwalin's expression was angry and it looked like he was about to say something. He glanced at her and she shook her head no. He scowled but nodded, turning and following after the king. As they disappeared to scout ahead or whatever it was they were doing, the company started sorting themselves out, helping each up. Kili was checking Fili over frantically, while Fili did the same for him although in a calmer fashion. The family groups checked on each other as well, reassuring themselves that their kin was alive.

Bella remained sitting quietly on the ground, trying to calm her pounding heart and uncertain whether or not her knees would hold her. She examined her shaking hands before balling them into fists. Looking up, she was surprised to find Fili kneeling on one knee in front of her, Kili hovering anxiously behind him. "Are you all right?"

She dredged up a shaky smile, "I think so, though I don't know if my knees would agree or not. They seem to have lost all their starch in the past few minutes."

He grinned at her, a subtle tension in him seeming to ease slightly. "Let's see if I can help with that." Standing, he offered her both his hands. She reluctantly put her hands in his and he pulled her to her feet. When she swayed and her legs threatened to collapse under her, he moved his hands to her waist and allowed her to use his forearms to brace herself.

Leaning on him perhaps a bit more than strictly necessary, she examined his face and asked softly, "Are you ok?"

He chuckled, "I've had worse sessions training with Dwalin, I'm just fine."

Knowing that they needed to keep moving before the thunder battle circled back their way, she forced her knees to support her and released her grip. He also released his grip, but she could've sworn that she saw disappointment flash over his face briefly. But the expression was there and gone so quickly that she couldn't be sure. Smiling at him, she stepped away from him, instantly missing his strength and warmth.

She made her way over and thanked Ori and Bofur for saving her, but they waved it off, just grateful that she was alive. All why she spoke to them, she felt someone watching her, but when she glanced over, everyone was occupied with their own business. Then Thorin and Dwalin returned, saying that there was a cave up ahead that might work for the company. Still in a foul mood, Thorin ordered Fili and Kili to go and thoroughly scout it.

Bella made sure that she was half concealed behind some of the other dwarves, not wanting to draw his ire again even if he was glaring at her. Thankfully, the princes were back in short order with the news that the cave was unoccupied. Too shook up and weary to question it, she trudged after the rest of the company. The cave wasn't a deep one, but it was large enough that the whole company could fit comfortably inside and be out of the elements and protected from the thunder battle.

Usually Bella would help get everyone settled, but while Thorin's ire was still roused, she decided that discretion was the better part of valor. Still, remember her promise, she made her way over to where Oin and Gloin were settled. Gloin offered her a tired smile and asked, "What is it, lassie?"

She said meekly, "I'm supposed to let Oin know if I'm hurt."

This caused him to sit up a little bit straighter as he quickly signed to Oin. Oin merely grunted and started digging through his pack for his healer's kit. Gloin asked, his voice heavy with concern, "What's wrong?"

She held out her hands so he could see their battered appearance. "I tore up my hands a bit when I was trying to hold on. Also, I wrenched my left shoulder, but I don't think that that is very serious, just needs to rest a bit and will be right as rain."

Having found his satchel, Oin said, "Those will need cleaned out, but it could be worse. Gloin, some privacy."

Gloin nodded and turned his back, moving over enough so that they were blocked from view from the rest of the company. She murmured gratefully to Gloin, "Thank you."

He nodded, "Think nothing of it, lassie. My wife would have my beard if I didn't treat ya right. A fierce beauty she is."

She giggled at that, a sense of normalcy returning. She said quietly, "I'm sure that she is and when this is over, I look forward to meeting her and Gimli."

Instead of going on the expected ramble of all of his wife and son's amazing attributes, he replied just as quietly, "I know that they're looking forward to meeting you as well."

Before she could question him what he meant, Oin started to clean the cuts and scrapes on her hands and she sucked in a harsh breath. However, the healer moved quickly and soon her hands were neatly bandaged. He had her unbutton her blouse just enough so he could manipulate and probe the shoulder joint. He decided that it would not need a sling, but gave her a tin of salve to apply morning and night to help deal with any bruising or swelling. She took the tin gratefully, tucking it into her pocket. Securing the last button, she stood and told Gloin that it was safe to turn around now.

He did as she bid, yawning widely. This prompted her to yawn and she quickly covered her mouth. Smiling at them, she thanked them and then headed back over to where she had left her pack. To her surprise, someone had already set up her bedroll for her. She sank gratefully onto it, weariness crashing over her. Fili appeared as if she had called him over. He crouched next to her bedroll and held out some cram with an apologetic smile. "I know it's not much, but uncle said no fire tonight."

She took it and smiled at him, "This is fine. And after the excitement of a little bit ago, I'd rather not have a fire and make anything curious to come and see who's in this cave."

He studied her bound hands. "Are you hurt? I thought that you said you were ok."

She nibbled wearily on the travel bread. "Scrapes and tiny cuts, a couple of small bruises, nothing serious. But I promised Thorin that I would tell Oin if I was injured, so there we are."

A scowl crossed Fili's face, "I wanted to apologize, he shouldn't have said that to you, earlier. He didn't really mean it."

She smiled at him. "There's no need to apologize."

Fili's expression turned puzzled, "What do you mean? The things that he said were totally uncalled for."

She nodded, "Yes, and I won't deny that they cut a bit. But when he thought that we had been smashed, I heard his roar of agony. And he made have said those things, but notice that it was after he voluntarily jumped off a cliff to help save me. He was scared that he'd lost you and frustrated about being unable to defend his people from a threat and he lashed out. Does that make it right? No. But I understand and I don't hold it against him and neither should you."

Fili grumbled but gave in. She finished the last of the cram and dusted the crumbs off her hands. "Now, go get some sleep. I'm sure that you'll probably have a watch to take as well. I'm so tired that I probably won't move until morning." He nodded and rose, turning to walk away and she called, "Fili!"

He stopped and turned back to her, "Yes?"

"Thank you for the cram and setting up my bedroll for me." He nodded and turned away again, going over and joining Kili where they had their bedrolls laid out near Thorin's.

Yawning, she snuggled down into her bedroll, a tiny smile creeping over her face as she drifted off.

* * *

Fili woke slowly, trying to hold onto the dream for as long as he could. This dream was clearer than the previous ones had been. They had been on a narrow mountain path and the stone giants from legend had appeared. He remembered a lot of fear and chaos, of trying to cling desperately to the stone giant as it moved and his franticness at not knowing where his brother was. He remembered hurtling towards the mountain and a sudden determination to survive this ordeal. 

Then he remember how his heart had stopped when he'd seen the tiny lass dangling off the side of the mountain, how he stood frozen next to Kili, unable to reach her. Then his rage over his uncle's harsh words mingling with his relief that she was alive. How tiny her waist was under his hands and the lightness of her hands on his arm, almost a butterfly touch. His relief over finding a safe spot to rest for the night and his bafflement over her easy forgiveness of his uncle's anger.

But despite all of this, he still didn't know who that woman was, what her name was, or what she was doing in the company. It frustrated him, that everything was so clear and simple in the dreams, but that they were hazy and unclear when he woke. Getting up, he made his way over to his desk. Pulling out the sketch that was starting to get a little ragged around the edges, he added a stone giant as the fourth charm. He took his time sketching, using the time and need for precision to help push down his frustration.

His dream was a step forward. He had been able to see her clearly for the first time. Setting aside the charm bracelet, he pulled out the journal with her picture. While he had done a fairly good job of drawing her from the glimpses he had seen. But there was still a couple of small details that needed added. He lost himself in his work, a small smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing
> 
> Next chapter - Falling, goblins, more falling, and Fili will probably lose his mind, just saying


	13. Falling in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, the words are just flowing, have another chapter!

Bella woke up at her desk. She sat up, yawning. It had been years since the last time she had fallen asleep at her desk, pouring over some project late into the night. She glanced down at the book and was glad to see that she hadn't smeared the ink. She vaguely remembered setting aside the quill before laying her head down and telling herself that she was resting her eyes for just a moment.

Closing her eyes, she rubbed her neck and then rolled it, trying to loosen the muscles that had cramped up from the awkward angle. Standing, she shuffled to the kitchen, desperately needing coffee. How late had she stayed up anyway? She also grabbed a couple of berry scones that she had made for guests. It irked Lobelia that she would not part with the recipe, so she made sure to serve them anytime the harridan came over.

Nibbling on a scone, she thought about the dream that she'd had the night before. Fili was bent over a desk, working on some piece of delicate jewelry. She drank in his features, noting that he looked thinner than the last time that she'd seen him, signs of stress and strain around the corners of his eyes. She leaned against the edge of the desk and just watched him. He was fully focused on whatever it was that he was crafting, his expression intense as he worked on an extremely delicate bit. She could tell when he managed to get it exactly how he wanted it, because his shoulders relaxed and his eyes lit up warmly.

He needed to redo his braids, several strands had come loose and hung down loosely. Smoothing the strands back, she murmured, "I wish you would remember me. I miss you. I still love you. You need to take care of yourself, you're too thin. How is Kili? Did he ever get together with his elf? Is your amad at the mountain yet or did she still have to oversee Ered Luin? I know that this is just a dream, but I wish that you could see me and speak to me. I was always greedy like that. Still, that you live is enough for me." She leaned forward and brushed a kiss over his forehead. That's when she woke up.

The bubbling of the coffee drew her from her thoughts and she sighed, the dream mocking her with how real it had felt. Her appetite had died but she made herself finish the scone and a second one besides. She poured herself a mug of coffee and walked back to the study. Sipping at the coffee, she grimaced at the sting of a burnt tongue. Setting the mug aside to cool, she skimmed over what she'd written the day before, trying to remember where she'd left off. Ah yes, they had made it to the safety of the cave and were taking a well earned rest. She tried another sip of coffee, still too hot. Pushing the mug to the back of the desk where it could cool properly, she picked up the quill and resumed.

* * *

Bella woke up in the middle of the night gasping, a nightmare from the events of the day lingering in her mind. Knowing that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep again for a while, she stood up and made sure that sting was firmly belted around her waist. She picked up her pack and slipped it on, carefully making her way over to the entrance.

She didn't see Bofur standing guard at the entrance until he spoke up. "Where are you off to, lass?"

She jumped about a foot and whirled to face him. She hissed quietly at him, "Bofur! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

He stepped forward until he stood in the moonlight, his expression uncharacteristically serious, "Are you leaving us then, lass?"

She rolled her eyes and propped her hands on her hips. "What nonsense are you spouting now?"

Bofur rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Thorin was awful harsh on you earlier. Now, while none of us feel that way, you might've gotten it into your head that it would be better if you just went home."

She yawned and crossed her arms, shivering a bit in the cool night air. "I wasn't going anywhere. I had a bad dream and knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep again for a while. And while it might not be for you dwarves, that cave is dark for a hobbit. I wanted to write about the giants, maybe getting it out of my head will help keep me from dreaming about it. So I brought my pack with me in the hopes that there might be enough light for me to work with out here."

He grinned sheepishly at her. "Well, you can't blame a dwarf for thinking the worst."

She scoffed, "I'm starting to get irritated that you all think that I'm so soft that a few harsh words will send me packing. My cousin Lobelia has said much worse things than what Thorin said today."

Bofur held up his hands, "All right, lass, you have a spine of mithril, you do and I'll challenge any dwarf that says otherwise."

She smirked at him, "Thank you. So you're on second watch?"

He nodded, "I volunteered. It was an exciting day and I wanted to be awake in case Bifur had a nightmare. Sometimes too much excitement brings them on for him."

She peered into the gloom and found him to be sleeping peacefully. "Thankfully, that doesn't seem to be the case today."

Bofur nodded. "Seems like I was worried about the wrong one. Wanna talk about it?"

She scrubbed a hand over her face. "Not much to tell. Dreamt that I fell, a lot. Either I wouldn't make the jump or I couldn't reach you before my fingers slipped. Sometimes the rock crumbled under my fingers. I never hit, just was right back at the start again." She saw his concerned expression and smiled at him. "I'll be fine. I just need to stay awake for a little while to let my brain let those images go. We're all here and we're all safe, so that's all that matters."

Bofur opened his mouth to reply when he suddenly frowned and asked, "What's that glow?"

She frowned back at him confused and he gestured to her waist. She looked and saw a pale blue glow emerging from sting. She pulled out the sword just far enough to see that the blade was glowing. Remember what Gandalf had said, she whispered, "Goblins."

Bofur heard it and started yelling for the others to get up. But the warning came to late and they were tumbling down a long chute, bouncing off the walls of it and slamming into each other. Being the lightest did have it's advantages and Bella ended up towards the top of the pile. However, this was a mixed blessing as they were immediately set upon by goblins. 

The goblins swarmed over them kicking and clubbing them with whatever was handy. They tore the packs from the dwarves and started rummaging through them. The dwarves tried to fight them off, their yells of pain and rage echoing through the chamber adding to the chaos of the goblins taunts and screaming laughter. Because of her small size, Bella was easily kicked aside. She landed half dazed behind a rock outcrop and the goblins seemed to forget all about her.

Despite fighting their hardest, the dwarves were quickly subdued. They were led off over a rickety rope bridge. Bella finally managed to catch her breath and staggered to her feet. She scampered after them, pausing just long enough to scoop up a few items and stuff them in her pack. Ignoring her dizziness and inability to draw a deep breath, she pushed hard trying to catch up.

She had almost caught up, was only a single rope bridge behind. She saw Fili and Dwalin towards the back, trying their hardest to break free and get back to her. They didn't make a sound, just fought against their captors. She pulled her tiny sword free of it's sheath, preparing to do what she could to help free them. But this proved to be her downfall as it drew the attention of the goblin rear outrider, the one that was always a bit behind the rest of the party doing a sweep to make sure that none had escaped the net.

The foul creature pounced on her and Bella just barely managed to block the rusty blade. Thanks to Dwalin's training, she managed to hold her own for a few swipes. But then her dizziness swelled again and she stumbled. The goblin seized the opportunity and jumped on her back, clawing and biting at her. Trying frantically to dislodge it, she didn't realize how close to the edge she had gotten until her foot met only air. This in and of itself might not have been unrecoverable, but then the goblin on her back leaned forward trying to grab her sword and the shifting weight unbalanced her enough that they both went toppling over the side. 

And for the second time in less than a day, she heard the sound of a dwarf roaring in agony at an unbelievable loss. Then she hit her head and knew no more.

* * *

A pounding on her door drew her from her memories. Hastily sprinkling sand on the wet ink so that it wouldn't smear, she closed the book and tucked it in the drawer, locking it firmly. She had a feeling that she knew who was waiting on her doorstep. Slipping the chain with the key over her head, she tucked it under her blouse, making carefully sure that there was no trace of it left peeking out. She hastily finger combed her hair as she walked, grateful that she hadn't had a chance to do her braid the night before.

The pounding started again and she yanked the door open. She indeed found Lobelia standing there on the porch, her hand raised to knock again. Feeling the nip of cold air and knowing that she wouldn't be able to write again until after the winter festival, Bella sighed and invited her in.

* * *

It was the sound of someone in the training grounds that drew Dwalin from his usual rounds. However, he was not expecting the sight that met his eyes. Fili was destroying the training dummies, a feralness in his movements that was frightening to behold. Still, he hadn't made it to royal guard from backing down, so he entered the room, making sure to make plenty of noise to announce his presence.

Fili whirled to face him, his eyes burning. Dwalin held up his hands palm out and stopped where he was and Fili lowered his dual swords slightly. Taking in the destruction, Dwalin whistled. When he made no other move, Fili turned back to his destruction of the dummies. After a few minutes of this and his rage showed no sign of dimming, Dwalin sighed. Taking a deep breath, he took a small step forward, drawing Fili's attention back to himself. Praying that he wasn't in berserker mode, although his eyes looked broken and half insane with rage at the same time, Dwalin asked casually, "What's going on, lad?"

Throat working hard, Fili hissed, "She fell."

"Who fell? When? The mountain is quiet, if someone fell, we need to get them help as soon as possible."

Slamming one of his swords into his sheath, he flicked a dagger into one of the dummies, followed by three more into various targets almost quicker than the eye could see. Dwalin was started to get concerned. If he couldn't get Fili calmed down, someone could get seriously hurt.

Fili spoke, each word seeming to be ripped from him, "She fell, in the goblin tunnels. One minute she was there, the next minute she was just gone. Is that why she's not here with us, with me? Did I lose her that day?"

"Her who, lad? It was just the company in the goblin tunnels."

"I don't know. In the dreams everything is always so clear, but when I wake, it is gone, almost like mist. All I am left with is fragments. The curls of her hair, the gleam in her eye, an echo of laughter, the warmth of her touch. She was mine and I was hers, but now she is gone and I cannot find her. I breathe but I do not truly live without her. She is my One, but I do not know her, so I am still alone. Her name is there, just on the tip of my tongue. I feel like if I reached just a little bit farther, I would find it and find her, but I never can. Why do I feel this way. I cannot sleep, I have no appetite. I have seen her in danger over and over, but I have also seen quiet moments when we are so close. The company is there, but no one else remembers her. And I cannot remember her and thus I cannot find her. My heart aches for her, my arms long to hold her, my mind whispers that she is real and then it whispers that I am mad and it was all brought on by my head injury." He gave a hoarse laugh that sounded more like a sob. "Maybe it's true and I really have lost my mind. Maybe I never woke up at all and I'm still laying in the healing tents. Who knows, maybe I died that day and this is all a dream anyway until I am ready to enter the Halls. Tell me Dwalin, have I lost my sanity? Have I gone mad and none dare tell me? I know not anymore."

Dwalin stared at the young prince standing there, misery etched on his feature, his sword hanging limply in his hand. All of the rage had drained out of him and now he looked like a stiff wind would blow him over. How long had he been holding that in, trying to hold himself together? He had seen the signs of strain on the prince's face of late, the circles under his eyes, but thought that it was just duties of heir that had been wearing on him. Walking over, he gently plucked the sword from the prince's hand and slid it into it's sheath.

He asked, "How long has this been going on?"

Fili struggled to think. "When the first snowfall happened, I think. Somewhere around there. Sometimes the dreams come every night and sometimes they are days or weeks apart."

Guiding him away from the wreckage, someone could clean it up later, he moved them towards the door planning on heading for the company's meeting room. "But there's always a lass involved?"

"Yes."

"A dwarf maid? You've met plenty here in the mountain."

He hesitated, then shook his head. "I don't know what type she is, but she's not a dam, I know that much."

Dwalin groaned, "Please not an elf. I don't think yer uncle would be pleased if both you and yer brother fell for elves. His hair might turn entirely white."

That drew a small chuckle from Fili. "No, not an elf, thank Mahal. That circus was enough for a lifetime. I don't think she is from the race of man either though. Every time I think I know something, I am plagued by uncertainty."

"Why haven't you talked to anyone about this lad? Have you even talked to your brother?"

"And tell him what? That a woman that no one remembers has been haunting my dreams of our time on the quest? That I'm scared that I'm losing my mind? That I long for her so badly that I can't breathe sometimes, but I'm afraid that I'm in love with a phantom of my own mind? How I can't tell anyone of this because Erebor is just now starting to recover and there can be no whisper of madness in the royal line?"

Nori popped up and said, "Now what's all this about madness, lad?" And nearly got smashed by Dwalin into a wall for his trouble, nimbly avoiding it at the last moment.

Dwalin grumbled, "I wish that you would stop doing that."

Nori grinned, "Now where would the fun be in that?" Turning to Fili, he asked, "Now, what was that you were saying, lad?"

Fili shook his head, compressing his lips into a thin line as he struggled to put his mask back on.

Nori and Dwalin exchanged a long look. With a nod Nori peeled off and Dwalin kept walking with Fili. It took a few minutes but the silence transitioned from tense to a more companionable silence. Fili said quietly, "I'm sorry about the training room. I'll clean it up."

Dwalin shrugged, "Leave it. Someone will get to it later. Now tell me, what drove you down there in the first place? You normally don't trash training equipment in the middle of the night for no reason."

His shoulders tensed. "I don't want to talk about it." 

Dwalin let it slide, steering him in the right direction. Thorin and Dis were already waiting when they entered the common room with Nori lurking in the background. Thorin looked back and forth between them, concern etched on his face. Fili shot Dwalin a betrayed look before moving over to a chair and slumping into it. Dis moved across from him so she could see his face better. Thorin asked quietly, "What's going on?"

"I found tha' one down destroying the training room. Seems he's having a rough night."

Dis called softly, "Fili?"

Unable to resist the maternal query, Fili shrugged, "I had a bad dream and needed to work off some of the energy, I'm fine amad, really."

Nori piped up, "And how long have you been selling yourself that lie, lad?"

Fili glared at the thief. "And what would you have me say? A bad dream is a sign that I'm losing my mind?"

Dis sucked in a sharp breath and Thorin frowned, but Nori just said sarcastically, "Ah, but it wasn't just one dream, was it? This has been going on for months, hasn't it?"

Thorin said softly, "Fili?"

He slumped even farther into the chair, too exhausted to continue hiding it. "Yes, it's been going on for months now. I feel like I'm losing my mind, like I never recovered from Azog's attack. I don't know what's going on at all anymore."

Surprisingly, it was Dwalin that spoke up. "I don't think that you're going mad or having nightmares."

Thorin said impatiently, "Then what do you think is going on?"

"I think that he's found his One and he's having soul dreams."

Fili cried, "If that were the case, you think that I would remember who she was at least. Something, anything so that I could find her. These aren't normal dreams."

"I didn't say that they were normal, I said that they were soul dreams. As for why they're so different, well, that's something that the rest of you will have to figure out. I need to get back to my rounds. Take care and don't hide anything more. We care for you, you rock headed Durin. Allow us to help you through this."

Without another word, he turned and walked calmly from the room.

Dis wove her hands together to keep from reaching from him. It was so hard to realize that your children were all grown up and you couldn't soothe their hurts with kisses and sweets anymore. Taking a deep breath, she said quietly, "Why don't you start at the beginning and explain what is going on. If we don't know what's happening, we won't be able to help you out. So please, tell us."

So he did. He went all the way back to waking up after the battle, how he had felt off, like there was supposed to be someone else, but he couldn't remember who. Healing and settling in Erebor. The first snowfall and the first dream. How the dreams had not stopped but increased. The woman that he knew but could not remember when he was awake. And finally the nightmare that had sent him to the training room tonight. Of her falling and being unable to save her. Of not knowing who she was or how she'd been lost. Why did none of the company remember her? Was he desperate or insane that he was inserting someone that didn't exist into their quest? Or was it because he was jealous of Kili's relationship and that was how his longing was manifesting.

He poured it all out, months of pain, uncertainty, and longing. Finally he stopped, unable to find any more words.

None of the room's occupants spoke for several minutes, digesting what he had said. Finally Dis said, "It sounds like Dwalin was right and it's soul dreams."

Fili stared at her, a fragment of hope entering him. "You don't think that I'm crazy?"

She offered him a small smile. "Not any more than any other male in this family. Oh my son, why didn't you tell us any of this. Even if they had just been imaginings, which I don't think that they are, we would've helped you."

Fili sighed, "After everything, we can't afford to have any more rumors of madness in the family."

Thorin said grimly, "You mean, after I fell prey to gold sickness."

Fili shook his head. "No, you managed to overcome it. I mean Thror and even a bit, your adad. You have taught me how to be a king, but if nothing else, you have taught me to listen to those around me and to know that I am fallible. To my knowledge, they never accepted that about themselves."

Thorin and Dis exchanged a long look before sighing. Thorin admitted, "That's true. But being a king means that you need to care for yourself as well. I am sorry that I have failed to show you this, that you've had to suffer on your own all this time. Have you ever mentioned this to anyone?"

"Kili, a few times towards the beginning, but he was occupied with his own courtship and obstacles. Otherwise, no. No one."

Dis nodded, "Ok, here's what we're going to do. We're all going to turn in and get what rest we can for the rest of the night. In the morning, we'll get the company together for breakfast. Then, we'll put our heads together and see if we can't figure out what's going on and a viable plan of action. Nori, spread the word."

He bowed and quickly exited. Dis stood and Fili and Thorin hastily did as well. She circled the table and gently cupped Fili's cheek. "Oh, my baby, my firstborn. I'm so sorry that you've faced this all alone. You remind me so much of your father, he was always so stoic too. But it's all right to ask for help occasionally. We will get this sorted out, even if I have to track down every lass in Arda myself and bring them here. Now get some rest, things always look brighter in the morning."

Relieved that at least those he loved didn't think he was losing his mind, he pulled her into a tight hug, his eyes moist. Thorin gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze and then left. Knowing that Dis put in just as busy a day and that they would all be meeting early as well, Fili reluctantly let her go. He smiled at her and said softly, "Thank you, amad."

Dis wiped her eyes quickly. "I'm your mother, it's my job. Now scat!"

Chuckling, he held the door for her and then made his way back to his chambers. He probably wouldn't be able to sleep, not after that dream, but at least he could get a little rest before they all met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter - Riddles in the dark, questions are asked, a plan is hatched.


	14. A company behind him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, the reason that this chapter has taken so long to get out was that I literally had no idea how to write it. I knew that it had to happen, but no matter how I mapped it out in my mind, I just couldn't make it flow like I wanted to. So, I sat down and simply started typing. And here we are. I think that this is the most Fili-centric chapter yet, but I'm pleased with the way it turned out.
> 
> Enjoy!

There was a cave-in the next morning, so the company was unable to meet that day or the next, too busy dealing with the emergency. Thankfully there were no casualties, although several of the dwarves involved would be laid up for some time as they healed. The third day everyone took as a rest day, one to catch up with their kin, for they had not rested at all during the rescue.

So Fili was surprised when Nori hunted him down on the fourth day and led him to the company's common room. He asked, "What's going on?"

Nori said calmly, "We didn't forget, lad. Things have been busy, but we made a promise to help ye get this sorted and we're gonna keep it."

Fili said thoughtlessly, "Get what sorted?" Nori just looked at him and it all suddenly came back to him. He felt his good mood from the safe retrieval fade away, replaced with a grimness. The cave-in had been a twisted blessing in the fact that he hadn't had time to think about how she fell, but now that he remembered it, he felt his stomach knot anxiously.

Nori asked quietly, "Had anymore dreams since then?"

Fili shook his head, unable to force the painful truth past his lips.

Nori just shrugged, "Well, that's not necessarily a bad thing. We've all been pretty tired, that's probably what's kept it from happening." They reached the common room and Nori added, relief lacing his voice, "Ah, and here we are." Poking his head in, he gave a quick count. Shaking his head, he said quietly, "Go on in, Bombur's provided breakfast. Everyone's here but Ori, I'll probably have to go drag him from the library. Don't start before I get back."

The star haired dwarf gave him a wink and took off. Fili couldn't quite smother a chuckle, the thief was like a cat, always doing things differently, but still caring for those whom were important to him in his own way.

Fili made his way into the common room, his stomach grumbling at the smell of Bombur's food. The rest of the company nodded at him when he entered, but didn't stop their conversations. Fili just shrugged and loaded up a plate before claiming a seat next to his brother. Kili grinned at him, before going back to the document he was reading. Taking a giant bite of a biscuit, he mumbled around his mouthful, "What's that for?"

Kili sighed and stole one of the sausages off of Fili's plate. "It's a proposed trade between Mirkwood and Erebor. Tauriel and I have made half a dozen revisions already and it will probably take that many again until we get something that we can even begin to approach Balin about."

"Why approach Balin instead of Uncle Thorin?" Bombur plunked down a mug of coffee in front of him and Fili nodded his thanks, extremely grateful for the strong brew.

Kili shook his head, "Nah, Balin will look it over and it will probably take another three or four revisions until we can approach uncle and Thranduil. It's a pain in my." He glanced at their mother and hastily swallowed whatever he was going to say at her warning glance. "It's a pain."

Fili smiled at him, "I'm proud of you, nadad. You've really grown and they way you've been dealing with this liaison position is impressive. Tauriel is lucky to have you."

Kili stared at him, a piece of toast forgotten halfway to his mouth, "You really mean that?"

Fili nodded, "I really do. You've developed a lot more patience and you're, well, settled, for lack of a better word. Like you've found your place here, where you belong."

Kili's face softened, "I have. My home is my One and I would do anything for her. Even if it means dealing with dull documents and boring meetings, she's worth it. Tauriel centers me, calms me, I'm at peace. It's the best feeling in the world."

Nori bustled in at that moment, dragging Ori with him. Fili was glad for the opportunity to turn away from his brother. He wasn't upset or angry that his brother had found his One. He wasn't even envious of him, per se. But he was envious of the certainty that Kili had, of his peace. Nori must have noticed his expression because he shooed Ori over to the side table where the food was before heading over to Fili.

"Everything ok, lad?"

Fili offered him a half hearted smile, "I thought that you knew everything, O Spymaster."

Nori grinned cheekily at him, "Usually, usually. But you're close mouthed, even for a dwarf."

Fili chuckled at this, "Someone has to be, the rest of you never shut up. Go get something to eat, I'm well enough for the moment."

Nori nodded and headed off, already yelling at Dori to leave Ori alone, he was a grown dwarf for goodness sake and could eat what he liked. This kind of gentle chaos continued until everyone had eaten their fill. Finally it was Balin that spoke up, saying what was on everyone's mind. "Well, Thorin, what's on yer mind that you've called us all together today?"

Thorin nodded, his expression grave. The company quieted at this, as they hadn't seen this particular expression since the quest had ended. "Yes, I need to speak with all of you, or rather, Fili does." He hesitated before pushing on. "There is something strange going on. He has been having soul dreams."

This was met with cries of congratulations and happy chatter, especially from Gloin as he reminisced, again, about how he had met his lovely wife. Thorin waited for the noise to die down before shaking his head no and continuing. "Now, while Fili had been blessed with soul dreams, they have been, odd. Until the past few dreams, he has not been able to see his One clearly, nor know what her name is."

He paused to gather his thoughts, but it took so long that Balin ventured, "While that is not usual, there have been recorded cases where that has happened before. Enough so that the lad should have heard of them and not be fretting." He glanced over at Fili who nodded.

Dis sighed, "You're making a hash of it, nadad. Just let Fili tell it."

Thorin shot Dis a grateful look and gestured for Fili to take over the story. Playing absently with a dagger, Fili said quietly, "Since first snowfall or thereabouts, I have been dreaming of my One. She is not a dwarf, elf, or woman. That is not the odd thing however. In all of my dreams, she had been with us on the quest. But when I think of the quest or talk to you, none of us have memories of her. It has been plaguing me, but four nights ago, I dreamed of her. I was finally able to see her entirely, not just the glimpses we had been getting. It was in the goblin caves." 

His hands fisted and Kili had to pry the dagger away from him so he didn't accidentally cut himself. Taking a calming breath, he forced himself to go on. "We had been captured, but she was somehow overlooked. She was chasing after us and had nearly caught up, when a rear sentry surprised her and they both fell. They were there and then they were just gone. I may have had a bit of a meltdown and took it out on the training room. Dwalin found me and brought me to Uncle Thorin. I hadn't told anyone about the dreams because I worried that they were just remnants from my head injury." Kili grimaced sympathetically. "However, uncle, amad, Dwalin, and Nori are convinced that they're soul dreams. So I need your help to sort them out. To find where she is. Please."

He met each of their eyes in turn, his expression sober yet pleading. Some where shocked, some looked like they didn't believe what he was saying, but each and every one nodded their support. Balin said quietly, "Tell us what you need, laddie."

Fili felt the tension ease from his shoulders. "I have some questions for all of you. Also, I have a couple of things that I want to show you as well."

Balin nodded, "Let's start with the questions and then we can proceed from there. Ori, I need you to take notes." His words were unnecessary because the scribe was already pulling out his journal and pen, pushing his empty plate aside so that he had room to work. Seeing this, Balin said, "Ok, whenever you're ready, Fili."

Fili nodded and pulled out his own journal, the one that he had taken to carrying everywhere with him. In addition to the sketches of the lass, his lass, he had started jotting down questions that had been plaguing him, little inconsistencies that had niggled at him when he took the time to sit and think for more than a minute at a time. After he had trashed the training room and talked to his amad and uncle, he had sat down and gone through them, trying to put them in an order that made sense.

Flipping through it, he finally found the list that he had made. Looking at Thorin, he started at the top, "The quest for Erebor was of utmost importance and you made sure to cover every possible contingency. Why then, did we travel in a group of thirteen?"

Thorin shook his head, "I asked Tharkun to find a fourteenth member. He said that he would take care of it. I thought that he had, but..." He paused, his brow furrowed in thought. "I cannot remember who he suggested or why we ended up with only thirteen in the group. I don't remember the number ever weighing on my mind, like it should have if it were truly an issue."

Dis muttered under her breath something highly uncomplimentary before adding loudly enough for everyone to hear, "And of course that blasted wizard isn't around to answer our questions, not that he would ever give a straight answer anyway."

This brought a chuckle from several of the dwarves as they remembered Tharkun's highly confusing way of asking and answering questions. Balin asked, "Did it bother anyone else, our company's number?" All of the dwarves shook their heads no. They all thought on this for a few minutes before Balin motioned for Fili to continue.

"Ok, um, let's see. Ah yes. Now, we didn't have the numbers enough to beard Smaug in his lair. And even if we managed to make it in the side door, Smaug knew the scent of dwarf. How were we planning on sneaking in and retrieving the Arkenstone without disturbing the dragon? I can see now viable plan, even given a back door way."

Balin nodded and answered automatically, "Aye, laddie, that's why we needed a burglar."

Bofur said slowly, "I don't remember a burglar being part of our company. Does anyone else remember having a burglar along? It would have had to be a master burglar at that, especially to burgle from a furnace with wings. If they weren't quick and quiet, it'd be over in a snap. A flash of light, a searing pain, and then poof, they're nothing but a pile of ash." The words seemed to trigger a sudden strong sense of deja vu in the miner and he frowned.

This continued for several minutes, Fili asking questions and the company being unable to answer. Questions such as why had they surrendered to the trolls or why they hadn't acted up more in Rivendell, as was there wont to do when amongst elves. They couldn't figure out the answers to these questions, it was like there was a fog in their brains, gently encouraging them to forget the details and not worry about them. But after each question, the dwarves would mutter amongst themselves a little longer and for a little louder each time.

After Fili had run out of questions, it was the company's turn to interrogate him. How long had he been having the dreams? Since first snowfall. Had he talked to anybody about it? Kili when it first started, then Nori, and finally Thorin and Dis when he couldn't contain it anymore. Could this have been brought on by his head injury? No, he had worried about that at first too, but those he trusted were convinced that these were soul dreams, so he was going to cling to that too. Why was he convinced that these were soul dreams? Because ever since he had awoken after the battle, he had ached for the missing part of his soul, his other half. It could be no other thing, there was no explanation that fit everything except soul dreams and that he'd met his One.

Kili had been frowning through all of this and he finally spoke up slowly, "I kind of remember talking to you about this. It was months ago, you told me about the longing, the ache for your One. We sat down and tried to think of where you could've encountered her, to have triggered the longing and the dreams, but we came up blank. Or we had too much ale and forgot what we were doing, one of the two." Dori tutted but Dis just rolled her eyes. 

Kili turned to Fili and asked, "And you've been having the dreams since then?" 

Fili nodded slowly, unsure of where his brother was going with this.

"And you said, that in the last one, the one where we were in the goblin tunnels." He hesitated before asking, "You said that she fell?"

Fili's face paled a shade, but he said quietly, "Yes. Dwalin and I were trying our best to reach her, but we couldn't, and then she was gone."

Dwalin had pulled out Grasper and was sharpening it, the movement automatic while he thought. He finally murmured to himself, "Someone to protect, someone to train. Gentle folk, unused to the wild. But a hard worker and willing to learn. Wielded an elvish letter opener." The company stared at him and he paused his motions, frustration clear on his face. "It's like the answers are there, just beyond my reach, but I canna get there and see them."

Nori was tipped back in his chair on two legs, smoking his pipe thoughtfully, "It makes no sense. If you lost the lass then, in the tunnels, why would you be having the dreams now? It's well known that if a dwarf or a dam loses their mate through death before they can met, the soul dreams stop. She must've survived somehow if you're still having the dreams. And if that's the case, she's out there somewhere waiting for you, right enough. Probably getting right miffed with how long it's taking you to figure out these dreams of yours."

Fili sagged in his chair, the relief causing his muscles to go weak. Nori was right, if a person lost their One, the dreams would stop as well. Feeling lightheaded and on the verge of passing out, he rested his head on the table, ignoring the tears pooling in his eyes. Alive, his One was alive. Now he just had to figure out where and why none of the company remembered her. Taking several deep breaths, his head finally cleared enough for him to sit up without fear of embarrassing himself by fainting.

The company was watching him with a mixture of amusement and pity. He could also see coin pouches being tossed back and forth to those who had bet that he wouldn't pass out. He started to make an obscene gesture, catching himself just in time when he remembered that his amad was in the room. Dis raised an eyebrow at him but since he hadn't actually done it, she let it pass and he let out a sigh of relief.

Gloin was fiddling with his locket and he was the one who finally asked, "You said that you finally got to see her in your dreams. Do you have a sketch of her?"

Fili pulled out the sketch and reluctantly handed it over for the company to look at. He said quietly, "This is she, but I don't know who she is. I mean, I do in the dreams, but as soon as I wake up it's gone."

The company passed it around. Oin bellowed after he examined it, "That's a hobbit lass. Your One's a hobbit, lad."

Fili tilted his head and looked at Thorin. "A hobbit?"

Balin nodded, "Aye, a peaceful folk. They dwell in a place called the Shire. Don't like outsiders much and never leave the place farther than the town of Bree."

Fili thanked him absently, his attention focused back on the drawing that was still making it's way around the table. When it reached Ori, the young scribe frowned. He traced the sketch with his finger and muttered, "I know this lass, but how?" 

Ori turned over the piece of paper gently on the table, then opened his notebook and started drawing, his fingers all but flying over the page. When he finished, he lifted his fingers and examined the drawing before wordlessly handing both Fili's sketch and the new drawing back across the table to the young prince. 

Fili studied the picture carefully. It was of the same hobbit lass, but this time from a sideways view instead of straight on like Fili's had been. She seemed to be checking over her shoulder to make sure that she was unobserved while in her hand she held out an apple to a pony. Beneath the drawing, it simply read: Bella sneaking an apple to her pony, Myrtle.

Fili traced her features delicately, the sense of sly satisfaction that she was getting away with something and genuine compassion for the pony. He said quietly, testing the name, letting it roll over his tongue, "Bella. Her name is Bella." As he spoke, a sense of rightness fell into place. It resonated through him, a soft note that seemed to come from the part of him that was empty and longing for his One. He turned the name over in his mind, allowing it to sink in and become part of him. Bella. His Bella. His One's name was Bella and she was a hobbit. And hobbits lived in a place called the Shire.

Nori finally drew his attention away from the drawing by asking, "You said that you had a couple of things to show us, lad?"

"Oh, right." Carefully tucking both the old and the new drawing back into the journal, he drew out the sketch he had for the bracelet. "This is my first gift for her. I've already started on it. But the charms come when they will, often from fragments of the dreams. I never know what will appear until I actually draw it."

He handed it to Thorin first, who studied it carefully. He gave an approving nod at the details and craftsmanship and Fili couldn't help the warmth that his uncle's approval meant to him. Thorin then handed it to Dis, who studied it with a critical eye. Thorin's trade was blacksmithing and he was an excellent one, but Dis was the goldsmith and jeweler in the family and her eye for detail was legendary.

She passed the paper on and smiled at Fili, her expression warm. "That's truly some fine craftsmanship. Any lass would be lucky to receive a first gift like that and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mother. The attention to detail is exquisite and if you were not heir to the throne, you could make your living quite comfortably on making items like that."

The paper had reached the Ur family and they had all three heads bent over examining it and apparently having a heated discussion. Fili stood and walked around the table, needing something to do to keep from bawling like a dwarfling at his amad's praise. He asked Bofur, "What seems to be the problem?"

Bofur sighed, scratching his head, "It's not really a problem, lad. It's more that we're trying to figure out the charms."

Fili nodded, "Ah, ok. Well, that one is from the thunder battle and the one before that I'm pretty sure is supposed to signify Rivendell and our time there. And of course, that one is the trolls. I swear that I can still smell them sometimes."

Bofur grinned at him, "Aye, we'd already figured all of those out. The question is, what is the first charm supposed to be? It's nothing that we can figure out. Bifur thinks that it's a shield of some sort, while Bombur is arguing that it's an odd kind of lid."

Fili asked steadily, "And what do you think it is?"

Bofur tugged absently on one of his hat flaps, "I think it's an answer."

Fili just stared at him, uncertain. Bofur expanded, "I'm a miner, ya see. And sometimes down there in the dark for days on end, the tunnels can all start getting confusing and before ye know it, yer lost. The only way to fix things is to retrace your steps back to the beginning. Even when you couldn't remember anything about your lass, even though we can't remember anything, Mahal only knows why, you drew these charms. These charms are the key you see. They mark moments that are important, special even, to both of ye. So in order to find her, I think you need to go back to the beginning. I vaguely remember traveling through the Shire, although I can't remember why and neither can me brother or cousin. To get to Bree or something, maybe? But that's where hobbits live according to Balin. Oin said that your One was a hobbit lass."

Bifur rumbled something, tapping on the first charm several times, his expression animated. Bofur gently patted Bifur's head and dutifully translated. "And Bifur's insisting now that this is what hobbit doors look like, because he wanted to make a doll house like a hobbit hole, so he studied them as we passed through."

Fili asked breathlessly, "What are you saying?"

Bofur straightened his hat and squared his shoulders, his grin warm, "I'm saying, lad, go back to the beginning, where all of this started for ye. Find that door and I'm almost certain that ye'll find yer Bella and get yer answers. That's what I'm saying."

Fili nodded once, a sharp, jerking motion. "Yes, I need to get to the Shire. I need to find her."

He whirled and headed towards the door when a firm grip on his arm pulled him up short. He turned and was about to give whoever is was that held him a piece of his mind when he abruptly realized that it was his amad. She grinned up at him. "Not so fast. I know that you're excited to find your One, but there's no sense you running off unprepared into the wild. A little planning now will save you a lot of time later. And the sooner we start, the sooner you can be on your way. So sit down and be patient, you'll be off to find your One soon enough."

Fili wanted to argue, but her words made sense, so he obediently made his way back to his seat and sat down. It was a struggle to sit still and focus, ever inch of him burning with the desire to run out the door and make his way to the Shire right away. He thought fiercely, "Hold on, Bella. I'm coming to find you. Just please, wait for me. I'll be there soon."

* * *

Bella was standing under the party tree, a cup of spiced cider slowly cooling unnoticed in her hands. She was watching the dancers wistfully, missing her dwarves. If they had been here, they would've joined the dancing instantly, laughing with joy and good humor as they tried to match the hobbit steps or making up new ones entirely. Fili would've swept her out onto the floor and she would've protested but allowed him to do it anyway. Before they'd have even made a single turn around the dance floor, he would've coaxed a laugh out of her, causing her to stumble and accidentally step on his foot. He would've then brushed it off and teased her about her blush. If she had been feeling particularly bold, she would've leaned up and stolen a quick kiss right before the lads and lasses separated to dance their own separate parts, giggling at his crestfallen and chagrined expression when he realized what she had done. And then, when the couples paired back up as the dance called for, she would've allowed him to pull her a little closer than what was allowed, just enjoying being in his arms.

Right then, she could've sworn that she felt warm arms wrap around her and Fili whispered in her ear, "I'm coming for you, Bella, wait for me."

She whirled, spilling half of her now cold cider, but no one was there behind her, only the party tree standing silent sentinel. She sighed, fighting to keep her hands from curling into fists. Abruptly, she turned away from the tree and headed towards the tables to get some fresh cider. She was tired from having been up since dawn. It was only that and nothing more. No matter how much her aching heart wished otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, finally, he is on his way! So yeah, that happened. When I sat down to write, I had no idea where this was going, but apparently Fili was tired of me dragging my feet and he wanted to go find Bella now!
> 
> Next chapter - Riddles in the dark are not for the faint of heart, a new journey begins, and a new person joins the company this time
> 
> As always, reviews are extremely appreciated. They keep me going on days when my muse o so cruelly abandons me. 
> 
> And to everyone that has already reviewed, a big shout out of thanks. You make me smile and want to keep writing!


	15. Riddles in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger - I think that I'm being overly cautious, but I'd rather be safe then sorry. There is one part in this chapter where there is an unwanted approach that is very quickly shut down. If this upsets you, just skip down to the stars that signal the shift to Bella writing about the journey.  
As always, I hope that you enjoy!

Bella stormed in Bag End, slamming the door behind her. She slung her coat and scarf aside, too furious to even consider taking the time to hang them. She stormed into the kitchen and slammed the kettle down on the stove, water sloshing out of it from the violent movement. She quickly stirred up the coals and added a couple of logs, being careful even in her anger to not send ash flying everywhere. Once the fire was crackling merrily, she made her way into the pantry and looked over the shelves. Finally, she spotted the pan of hazelnut fudge, great grandmother Baggins most prized recipe. 

She carefully snagged it and brought it back out to the table. It was a food that spoke of comfort to Bella, one that her mother would make for happy or sad occasions. Bella had successfully baked her first meat pie, out came the fudge. Bella caught the lad she liked kissing another lass, out came the fudge. Many moments in her life bore the memory of the rich, nutty treat and her father's soothing words, her mother's fiery spirit. The kettle whistled and she carefully moved it off the heat before going and fetching a mug along with her berry tea blend. It would add a bright note to the rich fudge and help cut the sweetness a bit.

At this point, the worst of her temper had burned off and turned more melancholy. Today had been the last day of the week long winter festival and she believed that things had been going rather well. She had interacted with her neighbors with more or less good cheer and had participated in all the proper hobbity things that all hobbits did, as Kili would say. She'd even made the effort to be civil to Lobelia, although that had taken more force of will than anything else the entire week. But the end was in sight and soon she could return to her home and her memories. There was only the final dance to wrap things up and then she could retreat to the quietness of her smial. Because of this, she had dropped her guard a bit.

She had allowed herself to be drawn into one of the group dances by one of her Took cousins. She had been having fun, had even laughed at the sheer joy in dancing, when her partner had groped her, right there on the dance floor in front of everyone. He was inebriated and barely standing, but that didn't stop her from slapping him and storming off the dance floor, to the cheers of the other hobbits and jeers towards the male sitting in shock on the ground. She then made her way over to the refreshment table, in need of something to settle her nerves before she didn't something distinctively unhobbitlike and much more dwarven in nature. Such as heading back over there and shaving his feet bare, it had the same connotation as a dwarf's beard and would send her message loud and clear.

After getting a mug of hard cider, she made her way off to the side, needing a moment to compose herself and push down her boiling temper. That's when the other hobbit male had found her. She recognized him distantly, one of the Stoors that was a distant relation of a Brandybuck. She had searched her memory for his name, but came up blank. Eyeing him warily, she said coolly, "Good evening."

He grinned, no leered at her, and the hairs on the back of her neck went up. Instead of moving back like her instincts were telling her to, she stood her ground, straightening her posture until she stood firm and tall. If her journeys had taught her nothing else, you don't run from those that consider you prey and this male was definitely treating her like that. She swallowed a snarl. This hobbit, soft from his easy life in the Shire and apparently not too bright, was no challenge. Dwalin and her dwarves had taught her well and despite her vow to do nothing that was not hobbitish, if he came any closer she would react and react violently.

Fortunately (or unfortunately because Bella had a lot of pent up stress that she was dying to release) the hobbit didn't come any closer. He linked his hands behind his back and slowly looked her up and down. "Well, well, well. If it isn't the Mad Baggins finally come crawling out of her hole."

She stared at him contemptuously. If he wanted to anger her, he would have to work harder at it than that, she'd been called much worse than Mad Baggins and most likely would be again. Her silence seemed to both irritate and slightly unnerve him.

He took a small step to the right, trying to flank her, but she turned easily when he stepped, keeping him squarely in front of her. He sneered, "I've been looking for you. I've got a proposition for you."

Innuendo practically dripped off the word 'proposition'. She said coldly, making sure to enunciate every word. "And in what world do you think that I would even be interested in hearing a proposition from you, let alone actually deal with you. You need to leave now."

He chuckled darkly at this, "Oh ho, ever the so haughty respectable hobbit lass. Thinks that the Baggins name means that you're so much above the rest of us. I'll tell you how it'll be. I just so happen to be in need of a wife with money and you are a spinster that no one will have no matter how much money or respectability you think you have. Now, you can either do this the easy way or it can be the hard way. I have no qualms either way." He took a step forward menacingly, which was a big mistake on his part.

He had barely stopped speaking when Bella swung into action. Truthfully, she had barely listened to anything he'd had to say after he said that he was in need of a wife. Dwalin had taught her how to read people and she could tell that this hobbit was a bully who was used to intimidating people to get his way. As such, he would try to crowd her and physically overwhelm her. Blessing the guard, she waited for him to make his move and assessed what advantages she had. And when he stepped forward, she was ready. She threw her cider into his face, temporarily blinding him, before kicking him in the groin, hard.

To her surprise, Lobelia came to her aid and joined the fray. She brought her umbrella down across the knave's rear so hard that a sharp crack sounded through the air. Howling, he straightened and grabbed his aching posterior only to be jabbed harshly by the tip of the umbrella in the gut, causing him to double over and clutch his gut, retching loudly. Bella then took the opportunity presented and brought her cider mug down hard on the back of his head, knocking him out cold.

As the hobbit sprawled unconscious at their feet, Bella grinned at Lobelia and said politely, "Cousin."

Lobelia sniffed haughtily and fussed with her umbrella for a moment. "Such unseemly behavior. What a boor. I'll wait here while you fetch a bounder, if you please."

Bella nodded, "Of course, at once. My thanks."

Lobelia sniffed again, "I do not like you, cousin. You are too much of a Took like your mother. But you are still a Baggins and as such deserve respect. This lout deserves to have his foot hair plucked out one by one before being banished. But first, you must fetch a bounder, and sometime before he wakes would be much appreciated."

Bella had stifled a giggle and done as Lobelia had asked of her. She discreetly located a bounder and the unconscious Stoor was quickly hauled away and Bella and Lobelia's statements of the incident were quickly taken before they were dismissed to return to the festival. Thoroughly irked and done with people, Bella had plead overwrought nerves like an respectable hobbit lass and had quickly escaped.

But as she made her way back to Bag End, that slime's words had repeated over in her mind, making her rage with their inaccuracy. As she sipped at her berry tea and nibbled on a piece of fudge in an attempt to soothe herself, she alternated between enraged and despondent. If any of the company had been there, none would've dared to grope her, drunk or not. And it was not true that she was unwanted. Once she had been wanted and loved with a fierce passion. Setting the fudge aside, her fingers quickly worked in her curls, weaving a familiar braid. Once it was finished, she fished out a small leather pouch from where it hung hidden around her neck. Holding the braid with one hand so it wouldn't unravel, she used her other hand to dump the pouch on the table and pick up the bead that rolled out. The bead that had marked her as the beloved of a prince. It was a pretty enough thing, created of gold and emerald chips. Gold for his hair and emerald for her eyes. The chips formed the dwarven runes for beloved and Durin, showing that she was beloved of the line of Durin. Her fingers shook as she picked it up and clasped it in her hair. Her eyes burned but she resolutely pushed the tears back. He had loved her beyond all reason and now she did the same by letting him go.

Knowing that she wouldn't be able to sleep, she went and fetched the journal, the familiar feel of buttery leather under her fingers soothing. Instead of writing at the desk or kitchen table, she settled onto the rug in front of the fire in the den. Leaning back against the leg of her father's armchair like she had when she was a faunt, she propped the journal against her bent knees and started to write, of the darkness and another creature that had raised the hair on her neck.

* * *

Bella didn't know how long she had been laying there when consciousness slowly returned to her. Every inch of her ached, but as she slowly became more aware, she didn't believe that anything had broken. That in and of itself was miraculous. Well, that and the fact that she had woken up at all, considering how far she must have fallen. Knowing that she couldn't lay there forever no matter how much she hurt and suddenly remembering the goblin, she forced her eyes open. At first she thought that she hadn't managed to open her eyes until she remembered vaguely that she was in a mountain and that the insides of mountains were dark. So she kept her eyes open and gradually they adjusted to the dim light.

When her eyes finally adjusted, she found that she had landed in the middle of a patch of large, somewhat bio-luminescent mushrooms. Yavanna had been merciful to her. Her mind clearing even more, she turned her head towards a slightly brighter light and found herself staring at her glowing sword. The fact that it was glowing was terribly important and she struggled to remember why. 

It was only when she heard a slow, raspy, gurgling inhale that she remember the goblin that had fallen with her. Freezing, her eyes darted around trying to spot it. She finally was able to make it out lying several feet away. Somehow, it had taken the brunt of the damage in their fall and it lay there slowly dying, unable to move beyond the laborious rise and fall of it's breathing.

As she lay there silently debating her next move, the sound of a different set of lungs breathing harshly echoed through the small cavern and the scrape of limbs moving over rock. She looked up just in time to see a set of eyes glowing eerily in the pale blue light of the sword. Then the creature moved into the light and she shuddered in revulsion. The creature was bone thin and she could see every single one of it's ribs. However, that thinness was deceptive, because the creature was not weak but moved with sinewy strength. Only a few strands of greasy, scraggly hair adorned it's head and as it exclaimed in glee over the dying goblin, she could see that it's teeth had mostly rotted out, only a few stumps and rotten ones left. However, it was clearly a sentient creature as it spoke to itself about the goblin, making a harsh sound in the back of it's throat, almost like a frog's croak. That and the fact that it wore a tattered loincloth seemed to support the theory that it had once been something else, something more, before the darkness had twisted it into whatever it was.

It started to drag the goblin off, proving her theories that it was stronger than it appeared. Even though the goblin was injured and clearly on the brink of death, it rallied and started to fight against being dragged off. She had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep from crying out at the violence of the creature's response. It picked up a handy stone and used it to bludgeon the goblin to death. Once it was satisfied that the goblin was truly dead, it dropped the stone and muttered disgustedly under it breath, resuming dragging it off to only Yavanna knew where.

She waited until she couldn't hear the creature anymore before daring to move. The glow from her sword had faded, proving that the goblin was truly dead and that whatever that creature was, it was neither a goblin or an orc. She pushed up to her knees and in the weak glow from the mushrooms, carefully felt her way across the floor in search of her sword. About halfway to where she thought the sword lay, her hand landed on something cool and metal. Picking it up curiously, she found it to be a ring of some sort. She scolded herself to pay attention to getting out of the mountain alive now and worry about trinkets later.

So she slipped the ring into her waistcoat pocked and continued forward until her hand brushed the hilt of her sword. She sighed in relief, picking it up and instantly feeling better to have the blade in her hand. She thought wryly that other hobbits would nearly faint at the blatant Tookishness of having a sword, but refused to put the sword away and endanger herself further just because some hobbits would fuss. She was coming to realize that much of what the hobbits clung to so fiercely just did not work in the wider world.

Settling the sword in her lap, she could tell now that she was away from the mushrooms that it still had a faint glimmer to it. That told her that the goblins were far enough away that she could take a minute and think instead of rushing forward blindly and hoping for the best. Taking a deep breath, she quickly sorted through what she knew. First, she had fallen and she had no idea where she currently was, although she wasn't surrounded by enemies like they had been when they first tumbled into the mountain, so that was a plus. Second, she needed to get back to the company, it was vital that she did so. She resolutely did not think of a certain golden haired prince that she would miss if she didn't. Lastly, she had never been a great hand at climbing so she couldn't climb up and the only path out of the small chamber that she was in that she could see was the one that the creature had dragged the goblin out of.

Sighing, she climbed to her feet. Forward it was. At least she wasn't totally unarmed. When she stood, there was a gentle pull at her shoulders. Glancing over her shoulders, she was pleased to see that she was still wearing her pack. Although the contents were undoubtedly a little bit worse for wear, most of it should still be usable. Keeping her sword out, she placed her hand on the wall and started moving forward cautiously. Somewhere out there was a psycho that ate goblins was running around and it was better to be cautious then dead.

She didn't know for how long she walked, only that she walked steadily for quite a while. The path was mainly straight, with only a few twists and turns. Occasionally there was a side path that branched off, but her instincts shrieked at her to not take them and so she didn't, continuing on the same path. After she had walked for a while and was ready for a quick rest, she let out a tiny yelp as her foot landed in icy water. Sighing, it was too late to take back the sound, she lifted her sword a little higher for better light and looked around.

She was amazed to see that she was on the shores of an enormous underground lake. Now that she was paying close attention, she realized that the faint sound that she had been hearing for some time was actually the lapping of tiny waves at the shore. Her thirst was a living thing and it was all that she could do not to kneel and drink greedily of the icy water. But she remembered the twisted little creature and didn't dare, for who knew what nastiness lay hidden in the tempting waters.

She turned away from the temptation and this time let out a loud shriek as she met the glowing eyes of the creature that she had just been thinking of. It, he, didn't seem disturbed by the loud noise and examined her curiously, a dark look on his face. "Bless us and splash us, my precious. I guess it's a choice feast, what a tasty morsel. Gollum! Gollum!"

As it made that wretched noise again, that's what she mentally dubbed the creature. Bringing the sword up, she dredged up the cool superiority that always worked so well at irritating Lobelia. "I am NOT for eating, thank you very much."

This seemed to puzzle Gollum, as if he was not used to his prey talking back to him. Tilting his head curiously, his expression morphed from cruel cunning to almost childlike curiosity, "What is she, my precious?"

The S's were hissing and sibilant, whistling through it's rotting teeth. Not wanting Gollum to come any closer while 'examining' her, she said with forced politeness, "I am Bella Baggins of the Shire. And who are you?"

He shook his head and wouldn't met her eyes, "Mustn't ask us that, precious, no mustn't ask us."

She huffed, a sound caught halfway between a disbelieving laugh and an exasperated sigh. "It's not like I asked you a riddle, I just want to know what I should call you."

Gollum's eyes light up at the word 'riddle' and she had to suppress a shudder of revulsion. "Oh, we likes riddles. Ask us a question, precious, ask us!"

She shook her head firmly. "Rules first. We'll take turns. Whomever becomes stumped first loses. If I win, you show me the way out of this mountain."

The wicked glee crept back into Gollum's face. "And if I wins, I gets to eats you."

She pinched the bridge of her nose wearily but made sure that she didn't lower her blade. She didn't trust the wretched creature not to attack her if her attention wavered even the slightest, especially after she saw what it had done with the goblin. Taking deep breaths, she tried to weigh her options. Although she probably fared better under the mountain then say a man or an elf would, she didn't have the innate stone sense that most dwarves seemed to possess. She could wander in the dark for ages and most likely never find her way out. Not to mention that the last time she had seen her friends, they'd been in the middle of being dragged off to who knows where by goblins. All except Gandalf, who had somehow managed to disappear. So she needed to get out of this blasted mountain and find Gandalf so they could rescue the dwarves from this latest situation the found themselves in.

On the other hand, even if she did manage to win, she didn't know if she could trust Gollum to hold up his end of the bargain. It was a tricky situation and there was no good answer, no matter how she searched for one. She sighed, that left her with the best of bad choices. "Very well. You can go first, if you'd like."

Perching on a flat rock, she listened carefully as he rattled off a riddle. She almost smiled as the irony was not lost on her, but she didn't want to offend him. Instead she said calmly, "Mountain, the answer is mountain."

He sulked a little but then sat up attentively, so she quickly asked the first riddle she could think of, the one that had been her father's favorite. Maybe it had been a little too easy as he quickly proceeded to answer and then to do a show and tell of his own rotten teeth. She was so overwhelmed by his putrid breath that she nearly missed his next riddle. Thankfully she caught just enough to be able to answer correctly.

They proceeded to ask several more riddles, each one getting increasingly difficult. Although she had a dreadful fright when she couldn't find the correct answer and he started circling her and making all sorts of nasty comments about eating her. He was also encroaching on her personal space, his eyes gleaming with malice and her small sword no longer holding the fear that it originally had since she had shown no inclination to use it. It was only blind luck that saved her as she cried out a plea for more time. Only when he slunk back muttering angrily did she realize that time was the answer to the riddle.

Sheathing the sword, it hadn't deterred the creature anyway and she was more likely to hurt herself with how tired her arms were getting. Glaring at her, he demanded, "Ask us a question, precious, yes, yes. Just one more question to guess, to wins or loses."

Slipping her fingers into her pockets to warm them while she could think of a suitably difficult question, she felt something cold and round in her pocket. She murmured absently, "What do I have in my pocket?"

At this, the little creature threw one of the most impressive hissy fits that she had ever seen. That's when she realized two things. One, that Gollum had told her to ask him a question. So her absent minded exclamation still counted. Second, there was still a chance that she could win this. Slipping her hands free of her pocket, she said firmly, "You said to ask you a question, which I did. What do I have in my pocket?"

He was still flopping around on the ground like a fish and howled, "It's not fair, precious, to ask us what it's got in it's nasty little pocketses."

Placing a hand blatantly on her sword hilt, ice practically dripped from her words, "Are you trying to cheat? You told me to ask you a question and I did."

He stopped his thrashing and eyed her warily. Sitting up, he hissed sullenly, "Must give us three guesses, precious, three guesses."

Knowing that she wasn't playing exactly fair, not that she needed to play fair with a creature that wanted to eat her, she agreed. "Very well, three guesses."

He cried immediately, "Handses!

She held hers up where he could see them clearly. "Wrong. Next guess."

He paced, obviously thinking hard. Finally he ventured uncertainly, "Knife."

Absently wishing that she had had the foresight to borrow some of Fili's knives and then she might not be in this mess, she shook her head. "Last guess."

This set him off into an even worse state. He paced and murmured, stomping his feet and throwing small rocks into the icy lake in fits of temper. She watched warily, but she knew that time was running out, not just for her but most likely for her dwarves as well. She needed to get help and soon. She couldn't bear to think about the alternative. She had to bring help back in time. Standing, she said firmly, "I'm waiting. Guess now, time's up."

Whirling to face her, he shrieked, "String or nothing!"

Not relaxing an inch, she said, "Both wrong." She didn't bother to point out that it was cheating to try and work two answers into one. She had won and now she needed to make sure that she stayed long enough to appreciate that fact. He fussed and fumed, but she held steady. At one point she drew her sword again when it looked like he might charge her regardless. Finally he agreed to show her the way out but first he needed something to help them get through the mountain. Knowing that he probably had evil on his mind, she reluctantly agreed nonetheless. There was no other option, she couldn't stop him if he was truly determined and her chances of getting out on her own were growing slimmer by the minute. She could only pray that Yavanna's grace stayed with her a little longer, just long enough to get herself and her dwarves out of the mountain. 

After her reluctant agreement, Gollum hopped onto a piece of wood and paddled out into the lake, chuckling and murmuring happily to himself. That made her nervous and she started to pace, fiddling absently with the ring in her pocket. Suddenly she froze as an eerie wail rang across the lake. "Lost, lost! My precious is lost!" She didn't dare make a sound as the cries continued before they cut off abruptly mid-wail. Then she heard him cursing and muttering about the riddle and how she had never told him what she had actually had in her pockets. Then there was the sound of splashing as he made his way back across the lake, not bothering to be silent this time.

Figuring that the ring was his and that was what he was enraged about, she fumbled trying to pull it out so she could give it back to him and hopefully ease his wrath. Either that or throw it and distract him long enough for her to get away. She wasn't really picky about which option it was at this point. But he moved faster than she did and he was just suddenly there on the shore and she stumbled backwards, the ring sliding firmly onto her finger. She cringed and did her best to remember what Dwalin had taught her about what to do when an opponent rushed you. But the creature's eyes swept back and forth, passing over her as if she wasn't even there.

As he howled in cheated rage, she suddenly realized that Gollum actually couldn't see her. She held up her hand and stared at the ring in amazement. No wonder he was in such a fit, the ring turned it's wearer invisible. She suddenly scowled, realizing exactly what the foul creature had intended to do. And it wasn't show her the way out, the lying cheat. He was muttering and casting about as if trying to track her. Suddenly he stiffened. "It lies about what it has in its pocketses. What was it doing down here, precious? Gollum, gollum! No better than a tricksy goblin is it! Doesn't know the way out! I bets it's taking it's nasty thieving self to the back door right now, yes precious. If I's quick and quiet, I sneaks up behind it and strangles it like the nasty little squeaker it is, yes precious. Gollum, gollum!"

She wanted to scold that nasty little creep into oblivion for daring to smear her character, but the words back door caught her attention and she managed to swallow the lecture bubbling up her throat. As he took off, she hurried after him using every trick she knew to keep her steps light and her breathing quiet. He was quick and she'd nearly lost him a few times, her eyesight nowhere near as good as his obviously was. But somehow, against all odds, she managed to keep up and follow him.

In fact she almost ran right over him when he stopped and crouched behind a boulder, peering anxiously around it as something approached. Looking into the tunnel that Gollum was staring into, she could've cried as she saw Gandalf and her dwarves run by. They were so close! But she didn't dare cry out for help because Gollum would be on her like a shot and there was no guarantee that they would even hear her in their hurried flight.

Tightening her grip on her sword, she moved so that she was directly behind Gollum. But the creature that had looked so menacing in the depths of the mountain looked pitiful and frail here in the sunlight from what she assumed was the back door that he had ranted about. He cowered behind the rock, making himself small to keep from drawing the company's attention and the eyes that had shone with wicked glee by the lake now held pain and loss. Swallowing a sigh, she took a step back and sheathed the sword. She couldn't kill a creature in cold blood, especially one that had proven to be intelligent and had even delighted in some of the riddles that they had shared. There was still a shred of light in him and she wasn't going to extinguish it. He might be redeemable, he might not, she had no idea and it wasn't her place to judge him either.

However, she squared her shoulders and drew in a breath, neither was she going to allow him to keep her trapped when her companions and freedom was right there. She took a step back, her foot scuffing against the floor and Gollum turned, his expression hardening as he searched for her in the dark. But it didn't matter because she was already in motion, breaking into a run and using his back as a step to get up and over him. He grabbed desperately for her but she was moving too fast and she felt only the barest brush of his long spindly fingers before she was into the lit corridor and beyond his reach. 

Ignoring his screech of rage, for the moment he was the least of her concerns, she whipped her head back and forth trying to get her bearings. To her right was darkness and the din of shrieking goblins whereas to her left was rapidly fading sunlight. She cursed when she realized that the sun wasn't fading but that the door was shutting. She bolted for the door, ignoring Gollum's shrieking about how she was a thief. She barely made it in time, having to squeeze through the door and leaving several buttons on the other side. But she was on the right side of the door and the afternoon sun was shining down brightly on her, which was all that mattered. Well, that and the fact that her dwarves were somewhere ahead of her. Wistfully wishing that she could take a minute to compose herself, she took off after the dwarves. They moved fast and she didn't want to lose them entirely.

* * *

Setting aside the journal, Bella carefully capped the inkwell. She slipped both of them underneath her father's chair before rising and fetching a log for the fire that had died down to comfortable embers. Kneeling, she placed the log into the fire and just stayed there and warmed her hands. A tired giggle slipped out of her. While the encounter with Gollum had been psychologically scarring in the extreme , she still had nightmares, she had forgotten until just now that she had sworn as she had run for the closing door. Traveling with the dwarves had truly taken a toll on her language and her father would've been horrified to hear such words from his only daughter. Her mother would've pretended to be shocked, but the twinkle in her eyes would've given her away and she would've probably asked Bella to teach her the swear words that she had learned.

Yawning, she stretched out on the rug in front of the fire and used her arm as a pillow, too tired to bother making her way down the hall to her bedroom. The sheets would be cold anyway and it was nice and toasty right where she was. And it was odd, even after the horrid evening that she'd had and having to reliving the encounter with Gollum. Even after all of that, she suddenly didn't feel so alone. As she drifted off, it almost felt like someone else in the world was thinking fondly of her and it caused her to slip into sleep with a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this chapter kinda got away from me and I couldn't find a good place to cut it down, so Fili & Co. will be the next chapter. I'll probably have it up in the next day or so. I'm a little burnt out from Nanowrimo, so my writing is a little bit slower.  
Also, I'm sure that several of you are wondering why I didn't go into more details in the actual riddle part. The truth is, I've seen so many well done versions of the scene that anything I tried to do would only come out as a pale and lifeless imitation.  
Talk to y'all soon!


	16. Out of the frying pan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many excellent lines in this part. I claim no claim on either the movie or the book, although both are exceedingly excellent. Enjoy!

Fili walked straighter, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Naturally, his mother realized this when he made his way to the company's common room for a final breakfast before they departed for the Shire. She smiled at him and called, "Fili, son, you are looking better this morning. Pleasant dreams?"

He raised his hand and made a so-so motion while filling his plate. "Yes and no. She did survive the fall, Nori was right. However, she had an encounter with one of the most miserable creatures that I have ever had the misfortune to see. It was so twisted, I would've killed it, but she chose to spare it for some reason known only to her. It's a miracle that it didn't kill her, that she made it out of the goblin mountain relatively unscathed."

Having heard of their trials in Goblin Town, Dis nodded. "Did she manage to rejoin you after getting free from the mountain? I'm assuming that she didn't manage to rejoin you in the mountain." She sighed and reached for another piece of toast. "Although why I assume that I have no idea. No one really remembers her, so we have no idea what truly happened."

He offered her a wry grin and placed some bacon on her plate as well. "I'm sure that Ori has scoured the library for answers, but it is what it is. As for if she rejoined us or not, I have no idea. The dream ended before she did but after she had escaped the mountain. So I have hope that she made it back to us. But if she didn't, I pray that she traveled safely back to the Shire instead."

She noticed how his hands tightened briefly on the edges of the plate when he said the Shire and caught how he shifted slightly, impatiently. "I know that you're anxious to get going, but it was better to get everything into place first."

His grin was rueful this time. "I know, but I had forgotten how stubborn the company can be when they argue. I can't believe that it took so long to just decide who was going."

Thorin chuckled at that. "And just think, someday you'll get to rule over an entire mountain of similarly hard headed dwarrow."

Fili chuckled, "You're going to live forever, uncle." He hesitated, "Are you sure that it's all right for us to be gone for so long."

Thorin smiled warmly at him, "You know our laws, Fili. One does not get between a dwarf and their One. Also, while it's true that we will manage in your absence, try not to tarry. Thanks to your brother, at least you shouldn't have to deal with an extended stay in that poncy prat's dungeon. That shall cut off some considerable time."

Dis just rolled her eyes at him, not bothering to reprimand him as she also found the elven king to be rather tiresome. Fili was rather grateful for Kili and all the hard work he had done to improve relations between the two kingdoms, even though it was all for Tauriel in the end. Leaving his amad and uncle to finish filling their plates, he joined the rest of the company at the table. Although fewer were going this time, they had still gathered for a final breakfast together. 

Dori and Nori were both staying and Ori was going, so they were both rather smothering the poor lad. Dori with admonishments to eat his food and take care of his health and Nori with sly tips on how to get out trouble as well as slipping lock picks and knives as well as other odds and ends into Ori's pockets when his brothers weren't looking. Neither Oin nor Gloin could be spared, although Oin had made sure that they were all given a medical kit and instructions on how to use it. Balin was staying but Dwalin was going, much to Fili's surprise. He had been named royal guard as well as head of the guards. Dwalin said that he was going to keep the princes out of trouble, but Fili knew that Dwalin was a protector to the core. It troubled him that they had apparently forgotten a member of their company, a female at that, and he wouldn't be happy until he'd gotten some answers. Bombur was staying, but both Bofur and Bifur had decided to tag along. 

Fili of course was going and Kili had insisted upon going as well. This had caused quite the uproar but Kili was adamant. Where one brother went, the other brother would go. It took time but finally Thorin had agreed. Balin and one of the dwarves he was training had taken over his ambassadorial duties. When Fili had pointed out that it would require him being separated from Tauriel for months, he had wavered for only a moment before shaking his head and declaring that his One would understand and wait for him while he helped his brother reclaim his One. At that point, Fili had given up. Kili had always been a cheerful dwarfling but when he'd set his mind firmly on something, he was impossible to move. It had taken a little longer to persuade both Thorin and their amad, but eventually it was done.

So after the company breakfast, they would be heading out with a half dozen dwarves to make their way the Shire and hopefully find the answers and the person that he so desperately sought. His stomach clenched at the thought, but he made himself eat anyway. He would need his strength for the journey, although hopefully it would be easier than the last one had been.

* * *

The trip to Mirkwood was much easier than leaving it had been. Since the battle, the orc presence had dropped considerably and they were met at the border by an elven escort. Before they knew it, they were at Thranduil's palace and Tauriel was sweeping out to meet them. She bowed to Fili briefly before turning her attention to Kili. "What are you doing here, love? The treaty talks aren't scheduled until next month."

Fili carefully drew the rest of the group away so that his brother and his One could have some privacy. Kili seemed to be pleading with her for her understanding while she was just listening. Finally she held up a hand to stop his words and walked away, moving over to talk privately with Legolas. Noting Kili's dejected expression, Fili made his way back over. "What did she say?"

Kili frowned, "She didn't say anything, she just walked away."

Fili offered quietly, "If it's going to be a problem, you can always remain. I won't cause problems between you and your love."

Kili looked torn before squaring his shoulders. "No, she should understand. Fee, you've done so much for everyone. It's time that we take care of you. If she can't see that, maybe it's better if we spend some time apart."

His heart ached at how much those words must have cost his brother. Yes, it was his responsibility as the eldest to watch over his younger brother. But it had also been his privilege as well. However, before he could open his mouth and say that, a beaming Tauriel returned with Legolas sulking in her wake. "Good news, love. Legolas has agreed to take over my duties while we're gone. Just let me pack and I'll go with you."

Fili was tempted to chuckle at the way his brother's face lit up and wondered how much Legolas actually agreed versus was bullied into it by the guard captain. However, to spare the elven prince's dignity, everyone knew that Kili had zero dignity, he smothered it down and offered his thanks. As Tauriel tugged Kili off to pack and Legolas left to make plans for an escort, Fili looked at Dwalin, having expected him to grumble over Tauriel's inclusion.

Dwalin shrugged, "Lass held her own in the battle. She'll do."

Fili nodded and moved to check his pack yet again. Once he was sure that no one would observe him, he let out a tired, wistful sigh. He didn't envy his brother, Kili deserved his happiness. But he ached for his One, his Bella, and knowing that it would be months yet until he saw her was discouraging. Suddenly, he almost seemed to feel a small hand slip into his and give it a gentle squeeze. He could've sworn that the breeze carried the words, "Hang in there. Thing's will look up, love."

A small smile crept onto his face and he touched his jacket over his heart. There, carefully tucked inside a hidden pocket over his heart was the sketch of Bella's bracelet. He murmured to the errant breeze, "Soon, love. Soon."

* * *

Bella woke from the oddest dream. About half the company had been gathered in Mirkwood outside the elven king's palace. It looked like things had improved, especially between Kili and his elf if his besotted expression was anything to go by. She laughed when she saw Tauriel tug him off somewhere, both of them chattering a mile a minute.

However, when she looked over at Fili, he looked sad. He tried to hide it by fussing with his pack, but she knew him too well for that to work with her. Wising that it was real instead of just a dream, she slipped her hand into his and gave it a gentle squeeze, leaning against his shoulder lightly like she had a dozen times over the journey. This dream felt so real, from his warmth to his solid strength all the way down to the callouses on his hands. She didn't know what could've made him look like that, but she murmured in his ear, "Hang in there. Things will look up, love." Here in this dream world he was still hers and she'd do whatever she could to make him smile.

To her delight, he did smile, his expression lightening. He touched his jacket as if it protected something important and murmured, "Soon, love. Soon."

She suddenly felt ill. There were only a few reasons that she could think of for Fili having to travel, especially since it looked like Kili was happily entangled. And there was only reason that Fili would call someone love. He was probably traveling to Ered Luin to escort a dam back for him to wed. Yes, there hadn't been any when they had been courting, but who knew what else had changed when the Valar had brought them back. So if that were the case, which was strongly likely as the group included Dwalin and the two princes, Fili would most likely be happily wed within the year, if his smile was anything to go by.

She wrenched herself awake with a cry. Clutching a pillow to herself while she shook, she did her best not to cry. She had chosen this. She had. After a few minutes and several deep, calming breaths, she roughly tossed the pillow aside. Half of the reason that she had been, not eager per se, but willing to return to the Shire was the fact that she wouldn't have to see Fili in his happiness. Well, that and the fact that he couldn't see her without possibly dying. But still, the thought of him with someone else hurt like few other things could.

She abruptly threw back the covers and got up for the day. She needed to finish writing and then she could put it in the past where it belonged. Putting together a breakfast that would be considered criminally lacking by hobbits but was quite the feast after the quest, she set up at the kitchen table. She had zero interest in seeing anyone that day and should anyone come knocking, she was most certainly not at home.

Eating toast with one hand, she dipped her quill and started writing.

* * *

She had chased after the company, dwarves were miles away from moving as quietly as hobbits could and she used this to her advantage. She knew that she was getting close when she could hear Gandalf clearly say, "Where is our hobbit?"

This seemed to startle the dwarves and there were mutters of who could've seen her last and arguments over who was to blame for misplacing her and Gandalf trying to sort it out. She had only paused to catch her breath and was about to speak up and clear up the situation when Thorin spoke up. "I'll tell you what happened. She saw her chance and she took it! She's thought of nothing but her soft bed and warm hearth since first she stepped out of her door. We will not be seeing our hobbit again. She is long gone!"

Silence greeted this pronouncement. Bella saw red and was tugging off her ring to go slap some sense into the hard headed dwarf king when a hoarse voice said raggedly, "She fell." 

The voice was so rough that she couldn't tell which dwarf it belonged to, but Gandalf asked, "What was that, Fili?"

Her eyes widened. That was Fili's voice? It sounded like he had been screaming for hours. He answered, his voice a little bit louder and filled with strain, "She fell, in the caverns. A, a goblin, attacked her. They both, fell."

Well now, as much as she wanted to spite Thorin and let him stew for a bit, she couldn't let the unnecessary anguish in Fili's voice exist for a moment more. Pulling off her ring and sticking it firmly into her pocket, she stepped out from behind the tree. "Here. I'm here!"

The company just gaped at her and even Gandalf seemed to lean on his stick in relief. "Bella Baggins, I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life."

Before she could set about reassuring them, she found herself pulled into a frantic embrace by Fili. This lasted only a few seconds before he let her go so he could check her anxiously over for injuries. His voice only a thread, he muttered, "How is this possible? I saw you fall. How are you alive?"

Kili chimed in, "How did you get past the goblins?" She hugged Fili gently, calming his frantic examination and murmured, "I'm alright." Peeking over his shoulder, she saw the rest of the company exchange relieved glances, although Dwalin's expression was curious as well as relieved as he seconded Kili's question.

Gandalf laughed, "What does it matter? She's back."

Then Thorin had to open his mouth and remind her that he was there. He said shortly, "It matters. I want to know." Before she could take him to task, his expression softened as he finished, "Why did you come back?"

Running a hand gently over Fili's hair, she then stepped away from him and turned to face Thorin. Propping her hands on her hips, she said softly, "I know you doubt me, I know that you always have. You've often said that a lass has no place in the wild. And you're right, I often think of Bag End. I miss my books. I miss my garden. See, that's where I belong, that's home." The tremble in her words almost betrayed her that it was hard to think of Bag End as home since her parents had passed, but she pushed it down. "And that's why I came back, cause you don't have one. A home, that is. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can. You have my word on that."

She smiled and turned away from him. "Besides, I couldn't let a good friend think that I'd died." She stepped back next to Fili and bumped his shoulder with her own.

Fili gave a shuddering sigh and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Resting his head against hers, he murmured, "Please don't do that to me again. My heart can't take it. I thought you dead."

She smiled up at him, willing him to smile back at her. "Hobbits are hardy creatures, Master Fili. Surely this doesn't surprise you?"

He gave her a small smile, just a shadow of his normal cheerful grin, but before he could speak a warg's howl rang out. All of the dwarves tensed up and Thorin muttered, "Out of the frying pan."

Gandalf snarked wearily, "And into the fire. Run!"

Without another word, they took off running. Fili had Bella's hand firmly in his own and she had the feeling that if she had tripped or faltered, he would've scooped her up and run with her. As tempting as the thought was, she knew that he'd need his hands free if it came to a fight so she did her best to keep up and not fall. The sun had set and what little sunlight there was left was quickly fading, but thankfully the moon was bright enough that they could navigate. The sound of the orc pack seemed to be drawing ever closer and it was all she could do not to look behind. And this time there would be no miraculous elves to help them, they were miles away from any type of civilization.

Fili stopped abruptly, pulling her to a stop as well. She almost cried when she realized that they were standing at a cliff. Was it too much to hope for a little luck? Maybe she had used it all up by not dying when she fell in the mountain. Gandalf called, "Everyone into the trees! Quickly! Climb!"

Before she could get her bearings, Fili grabbed her around the waist and tossed her up into a tree where Kili grabbed her and settled her firmly against the trunk. Fili was right behind her and they all started climbing rapidly, eager to put as much distance between themselves and the ground as they could. She had never climbed so fast in her life, even counting that time that Lobelia had said that she was too scared to climb all the way to the top of the party tree. That particular incident had ended in her having a broken arm and being grounded for a month, but she had showed Lobelia. Shaking her head to clear the crazy thoughts swirling through her mind, she focused on their present situation.

The orcs and wargs had been just behind them, but the company had all made it safely into the trees before they arrived. Bella leaned hard against the trunk, catching her breath. However, she heard both Fili and Kili swear when they saw who led the orcs. She peered through the branches and grimaced when she caught sight of the scarred leader riding a white warg. She tried to think of where she'd heard it and then remembered Balin's tale of how Thorin had earned his name. Swinging her head to look at him, she saw that Thorin was pale, his expression filled with a mixture of disbelief and anger. It was true then, that orc had to be Azog, long presumed to be dead by Thorin and the world. He muttered something in the foul language of orcs and set the wargs loose.

The wargs were rabid creatures, tearing at the lower branches and roots in an attempt to reach them. They managed to start uprooting the tree she and the princes were in and they had to jump over to the next tree for safety. Bella thought that her heart was going to stop from fright, but Dori caught her and made sure that she didn't fall to the beasts below. But they were persistent and soon the whole company was cornered in an enormous tree right on the edge of the cliff. Fili, Kili, and Dwalin made sure that they were between her and the wargs, although what good that would do she had no idea. Still, she forced back the whimper of fear that wanted to escape and clung firmly to the trunk.

However, Gandalf wasn't ready to surrender yet and he somehow managed to light a pine cone and throw it at the wargs, driving them away from the trunk where they were trying to uproot it like they had the other trees. He then kindly shared the fun and tossed a lighted pine cone to the golden haired prince. Fili grinned at her and helped her light a pine cone of her own before throwing his hard at the closest warg. Years of skipping stones came to her aid and Bella managed to skip hers off of two wargs before it finally landed on a third. Kili cried foul but he was laughing, so she figured that he wasn't truly upset.

The fire did it's job and drove them back, causing the whole company to cheer loudly. However, the damage had already been done and the roots started to give way, causing the tree to topple out over empty air. Everyone was hanging on to the best of their abilities, but she still heard Ori and then Dori's cries of distress. During the fall, she had ended up slipping down until she was hanging on to the branch nearest Thorin. Because of this, she saw the moment when he locked eyes with Azog. The world seemed to crawl to a stop, but she knew that only a few seconds had passed. Then Thorin got to his feet and headed towards the monster, his determination to protect the company from a dreaded foe shining clearly in his eyes.

Before she could protest, he was moving down the trunk and was out of her reach. As he ran towards Azog, she struggled to keep from falling and get back up onto the trunk of the tree. This was made harder by the fact that she wouldn't take her eyes off the dwarf king. Although he face the orc bravely, the anger burning in him made his brash and Azog clearly had the upper hand. She could hear the dwarves crying out for their leader, but their heavier weight made it harder for them to pull themselves up.

She had just managed to get up onto the trunk when the white ward decided to treat Thorin like a chew toy and his cry of agony pierced through her. The smirk on the pale orc's face showed that he thought he was assured of his victory and thus he missed Thorin bringing his sword up to slice at the warg, making it free him. However, that seemed to take the last of Thorin's strength and he lay limply on the ground. 

She saw Azog's lips move, but the crackling of the fire was too loud for her to hear what he said. That turned out to be unnecessary as she saw the orc next to the leader dismount, clearly planning on killing the downed dwarf. Before she could think, her sword was in her hand and she was running. She was deaf to all around her, she didn't hear Fili scream for her to stop or Balin's cry of lassie, no! Instead, she was focused solely on the orc heading for Thorin and whether or not she would make it in time.

She made it, with only a second or two to spare, barreling into the orc and sending it flying. The orc easily tossed off her lighter weight and turned to attack her. Her fear blossomed and instead of freezing, her body remembered that Dwalin had been training her to move in a fight and she ended up stabbing the orc in a frenzy until it stopped moving. Breathing hard, don't fall apart now Bella, she stumbled back until she was between Thorin and Azog. Squaring up her shoulders, she brought her sword up and swiped it back and forth, doing her best to look brave and confident. That didn't stop Azog and the orcs from advancing on her and she knew that this was where she would die. Surprisingly, that thought didn't distress her like it once might've and she found her hands steadying. If this was to indeed be her end, she would do it looking her killer in the eye and fighting for those that she cared for.

That's when the dwarves made a very timely appearance. Fili, Kili, and Dwalin waded into the fray, forcing the orcs to fall back a little. However, they were still greatly outnumbered and she quickly found herself thrown to the ground, facing Azog himself and his demonic warg. She had just resigned herself to her imminent end, again, when a giant eagle appeared and swept an warg and it's rider away, it's scream high and clear. So shocking was this turn of events that she honestly thought that she was hallucinating for a moment. Then more appeared and grabbed up the wargs as if they were nothing, causing Bella to give a ragged cheer.

She saw Fili glancing around frantically, but didn't have a chance to call out to him before an eagle scooped up Thorin and carried him off, leaving his shield behind. She scrambled for it and had just grabbed it when an eagle picked her up. She panicked, not knowing whose side the eagles were on. A short scream was ripped from her as the eagle who grabbed her let go and she fell, only to land on another eagle's back. They were on their side then, she supposed. She clung firmly to it's feathers, thanking Yavanna that she was somehow still alive. When the eagle shrieked in protest, she reluctantly loosened her grip.

Taking a deep breath, she looked around, relieved to find the rest of the company spread out on eagles all around her. Kili and Fili had ended up on the same eagle and she waved carefully at them to let them know that she was alright. It was Kili that saw her and he nudged Fili who was frantically straining to see the others. When Fili looked over, she waved weakly at him and something eased in his face, although she could see that he was still frantic over the unresponsive Thorin being carried nearby.

They flew through the night and every so often Fili would frantically call his uncle's name in the hope of a response that never came. Bella's heart ached, but she had seen what the white warg had done, so she could offer no reassurances even if he could have heard them over the roaring of the wind. Dawn was just lightening the sky when the eagles finally landed on an enormous rock that stood by itself. They set Thorin down gently first and then Gandalf was at his side immediately. the other dwarves crowding close as they landed. 

Bella hung back, uncertain if she wanted to see what was undoubtedly a terrible wound. Because of this, she nearly missed Thorin's first words of, "The halfing?"

She rolled her eyes in disdain. How rude. She'd saved his life and he called her a halfling in return, that was just uncalled for. However, Gandalf was clearly relieved that Thorin was speaking as he answered, "It's all right, Bella is here. We're safe now."

Thorin then proceeded to get to his feet with the help of a couple of others, because of course that was the best course of action when you are seriously injured. He managed to stand on his own and scowled at her. "You! What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed!"

Her eyebrows flew up at this. She nearly got herself killed? Said the fool who had charged an orc alone. Before she could open her mouth and unleash her ire, he took a step towards her and said quietly, his breathing strained, "Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild? That you had no place amongst us?"

She flinched with every question he asked, her heart breaking a little more with each word. She was about to turn and flee, to only Yavanna knew where as they were stuck on a large rock in the middle of no where, when she heard and understood his next words. "I have never been so wrong in all my life." 

He then stepped forward and embraced her, causing the whole company to cheer loudly. She patted his shoulder awkwardly, not wanting to further injure his ribs from where the warg had bit him. When he stepped back, he said quietly, "I'm sorry that I doubted you."

She smiled up at him, scarcely daring to believe that they had somehow managed to come through all of that alive. "No, I would've doubted me too. I'm not a hero, or a warrior. Not even a burglar." She couldn't resist the subtle jibe at Gandalf but he just chuckled good naturedly.

Thorin looked behind her and his face transformed into one of such loss and longing that she knew what he saw without even turning around. She moved to the side so that he could get past her, then turned and followed him. Far off in the distance, she could see a single, solitary peak rising out of what appeared to be mist. Gandalf said quietly, "Erebor. The lonely mountain. The last of the great dwarf kingdoms of middle earth."

There was longing, reverence, and rejoicing all at once in Thorin's voice as he added, "Our home."

Someone moved to stand next to her and she saw that it was Fili. He was staring at the mountain with longing as well, but it was different from his uncle's. Fili stared at Erebor as if it were every childish tale that he'd ever heard come to life, it was the longing of dreams woven in a beautiful harmony that was suddenly real and right in front of you. For Thorin, it was the longing for a long absent home, of the history of family and familiarity, of knowing one's place in the world with certainty. She slipped her hand into Fili's and squeezed gently. He didn't look away from the mountain, but he gently squeezed her hand back, his large, calloused one holding hers firmly.

The dwarves trance was broken when a bird zipped by and Oin called out that it was a raven and that the birds were finally returning. Gandalf and Bella both chuckled, although it was Gandalf whom informed Oin that the bird was a thrush, not a raven. Thorin smiled and said that he'd take it for a good omen anyway.

* * *

Bella closed the book with a sigh, laughing a little at herself. She had replied that the worst was behind them. Oh, how foolishly naive she had been. Of course, she was probably in a bit of shock as well. She had had a trying few days, anyone would be optimistic that things couldn't get any worse. Of course, that was usually taken as a challenge to see what else could be thrown at them.

Rising, she made her way over to the stove and carefully put the kettle on. There was also the fact that the company had been pretty battered and bruised from their adventures as well. When Thorin had smiled upon seeing Erebor, she had wondered how bad he was truly injured and if he should even be up and moving. It was a good thing that she couldn't tell her tale to anyone, because no one would believe her. Riddling with creatures, throwing flaming pine cones at wargs, flying on giant eagles. It all sounded quite fantastical and she wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't lived through it. If she weren't already labeled as Mad Baggins, these stories would definitely do it. 

Still, she thought that her mother would be rather proud of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to get this chapter out, between being wiped out from Nanowrimo and releasing the third book in my Seeker Files series on Black Friday, I was seriously exhausted.
> 
> If you want to check out the book, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0824RSFR9/
> 
> Next chapter: A journey begins in earnest to reclaim a missing heart, a rest is taken and an offer of courtship is made.


	17. A Brief Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold - Khuzdul

Fili was up before dawn, carefully sketching by the firelight. Tauriel noticed from her place on watch and came over to see what he was working on. She said quietly, "What are you drawing, if you don't mind me asking?"

He smiled up at her and gestured for her to sit beside him on the log. When she did, he turned the page just enough for her to see the sketch as he finished shading a charm in the shape of a giant eagle. Keeping his voice low so as not to wake up the others, he explained, "When a dwarf finds their One, they make something called a first gift in order to show the one that they would court how they see them. Depending on whether or not the recipient feels that the the suitor has seen them clearly, the courtship will either move ahead or it won't. Has my brother told you about the dreams?"

She propped her chin on her hand and studied the drawing and him. "Some. I do not think he told me everything. He loves you dearly and guards your secrets fiercely."

Fili nodded, carefully adding detail to the feathers. "He's very protective of those he loves. What do you know?"

"I know that your One is a hobbit lass in the Shire and that you are traveling to fetch her. I know that you believe her to have been on your quest, but that for some reason, none of you remember her. He told me that you'd been having soul dreams about her. Other than that, I have no idea."

He reached into his jacket and carefully pulled out the sketch that Ori had made. "Something is strange, that none of the company remembers her. When I finally spoke with them about it, Ori drew this, although he has no memory of her beyond that."

He passed it over to her and she took it delicately, unfolding it with great care. Studying the picture, her brow furrowed. "I do not know her, but at the same time, I feel like I should or that I have seen her before." She sighed and handed the picture back to him. "She's very pretty, your Bella."

He smiled at her, tucking the picture back safely away. "She is. The problem is, I don't know why she left or even when she did. It's hard, having memories that are so strange, real yet unreal."

Tauriel looked curiously at the sketch that he had finished, "And this is your first gift, to show her how you see her?"

He allowed her to pick it up and study it. "Yes. As I remember more about the journey, I add more charms, important things that happened on the quest. I don't know how many there will be, but I hope that it is complete by the time that we reach the Shire."

She smiled warmly and handed the sketch back to him. "It is truly beautiful, I cannot wait to see the finished work, you are quite skilled." They were quiet for a moment before she asked, "I mean no disrespect, but I am curious."

He turned to look at her and motioned for her to continue, his own curiosity piqued.

"If you cannot remember her, truly remember her, why are you so convinced that she is your One? Why are you following her to the Shire when you are not even sure why she left? Why do this when it can lead to possible heartbreak?"

He laced his fingers together and thought hard for a minute. Those were all good questions. While he thought, Kili got up sleepily and trailed over to where they sat, plopping down and leaning against Tauriel. She smiled warmly at him and combed her fingers through his messy hair. He smiled up at her before yawning widely and asking, "What are you two talking about so seriously?"

Fili studied them for a moment before replying, "She wants to know why I'm going to the Shire when I don't even remember Bella." Kili frowned and turned to say something, but Fili held up hand, stopping him. "It's a fair question, nadad. The truth is, you're right. I don't know why she left or what happened. She may hate me or not remember me for all I know. I don't know why we all forgot about her or what will happen when we reach the Shire. But even though my mind forgot, my heart remembers her. It longs for her and aches at the knowledge that she is not here. And I'd rather take the chance of possible heartbreak over the certainty of heartbreak. Because if I do not do everything in my power to find her, if I just stayed in Erebor and tried to dismiss all of this as mere fancy, then my heart would shatter for real and I would never be able to put it back together."

He nodded at Kili and Tauriel. "It may be different for elves, but dwarves know right away when they've met their One. It may take a while for their minds to catch up, but the heart knows immediately and they'll never be the same again."

Kili laced his fingers through Tauriel's. "It's true, love. When I first saw you killing spiders, my heart sang. However, it wasn't until we were escaping and my heart nearly broke that I realized that you were my One. I swore that I would come back after we reclaimed Erebor, even if it meant that I was thrown back into the dungeons, if only to be near you again."

She shook her head, smiling slightly, "I didn't know that dwarves were such romantics." She reached up and touched her constellation of stars hair clip that Kili had made her as first gift. "I will do everything in my power to help you get back to your One." She rose, dropped a kiss on Kili's forehead, and then walked away to talk to some of the other elves.

Kili smiled dopily after her before turning and grinning at Fili, "Isn't she wonderful, Fee?"

Fili tucked the sketch back into his jacket. "Yes, she is. Mahal certainly blessed you, nadad. C'mon, we'll be leaving shortly. You may have your One but mine is waiting on me and I'm late. Inexcusable for a prince, really."

Kili laughed and jumped to his feet, all traces of sleep gone. "All right, all right, I'm moving."

* * *

Bella returned from her weekly round of seeing to her tenants, closing the door behind her and setting aside her basket with a weary sigh. Once, making the rounds of her tenants had been one of her greatest pleasures. Now she had to force herself to slog through it. Nothing had changed with the routine or tenants that would make her dread it, it was Bella herself. Before, she had been content in her life. Now she had come to realize how truly lonely her life was and seeing all of them with their families made her yearn for her own. Still, it had been good for her to get to know her tenants better than she had before, come to truly know them as people instead of just responsibilites.

Trudging to her kitchen, she decided that she deserved a treat and pulled out the ingredients for cocoa. While the milk was heating, she fetched her journal and some almond seed cakes. The cocoa was quickly stirred together and soon she was sitting comfortably at the kitchen table. Wrapping one of her mother's favorite shawls around her shoulders, she took a sip of cocoa, then set the mug aside and started writing.

* * *

Feeling exhaustion suddenly wash over her, Bella slipped away from where the dwarves were looking at the lonely mountain and talking quietly amongst themselves. She walked over to a small outcrop of rock and sank down gratefully. Her body suddenly seemed to catch up to the knowledge that she had almost died multiple times in much too short of a time frame and shivers wracked her small frame, making her shake like a leaf.

To her surprise, a coat settled gently around her shoulders and she tugged it closer around herself in a desperate attempt to stop shaking. She turned to thank whomever had given her their coat, only to see Fili walking away towards Thorin. She heard him say quietly, "Uncle, we need to get off this rock and find a place to make camp. Everyone is exhausted and we need to tend our wounds."

Thorin seemed to pull his eyes away from Erebor with effort, but he acknowledged the wisdom of his eldest nephew's words. He called for them all to take a brief rest and then they would find a way down.

Taking deep breaths, Bella forced herself to recite all of the healing herbs in the shire in alphabetical order by what it treated. She had only made it through the letter H when her nerves had started to calm and her shaking had eased. Fili finished discussing something with Thorin, their voices too low for her to hear, and made his way over to join her on the rock.

He studied her and seemed pleased to see that her shaking had stopped. He smiled at her and asked, "Better?"

She nodded and smiled shyly at him. "Yes, thank you." Looking down at her hands, she wasn't surprised to see that his jacket sleeves hung past them. She pushed them up to free her hands, only to have them slide right back down. She admitted quietly, "I'm sorry, it all just suddenly crept up on me. It's been a trying few days. I guess that I'm not very brave after all."

He nudged her shoulder with his, "Hey, none of that now. You did an admirable job and anyone would be overwhelmed by the past few days. Look at the Ri's."

She looked over and saw Dori and Ori sitting and leaning against each other and Nori fussing over them. A smile quirked up her lips at the change in the usual dynamics. She knew that Nori cared for his brothers, but it was sweet to see him showing it so obviously. Looking around at the rest of the company, she soon noticed signs of stress and exhaustion on the rest of them.

Inching closer to Fili, she murmured, "Is Thorin going to be ok until we get to a safer place?"

He sighed, "Uncle is stubborn and will not rest even when he needs to but I think that he'll be ok for a little while longer. I don't know what Tharkun did, but it apparently helped him quite a bit. By all rights, he shouldn't be moving so easily after getting bitten by the warg like that."

Before she could reply, Kili joined them, plopping at their feet and leaning heavily against Fili's legs. She studied him, but he seemed little worse for the wear from his recent adventures. Still, she asked, "You ok, Kili?"

He grinned up at her, his expression as mischievous as usual. "A few bumps and bruises, Fee and I used to get worse when we were dwarflings. Nothing for you to worry your pretty head over."

She rolled her eyes at him, he was fine, but Fili kicked him gently and scowled at him. Kili whined at his brother and Bella found herself ignoring them and relaxing to the sound of their good natured bickering. They were going to be fine, everyone was alive, and the eagles had undoubtedly cut days off their travel time with their aid. Much too soon for her liking, Thorin called for them to get up and get moving. Nori scouted around and found a set of stairs carved into the side of the rock. It was there that Bella hit a snag. She wasn't afraid of heights, per se, but these steps were much higher than she was used to and she wasn't sure if she would be able to manage them, a least not without tripping and falling and that was a long way down.

Fili and Kili both noticed her predicament at the same time. They muttered back and forth in Khuzdul, allowing the rest of the company to descend ahead of them. Finally it was just the princes and her left on the top of the rock. She gave Fili back his coat and he shrugged it on carelessly. Before she could voice her doubts, Fili stepped down to the first step. She had to bite back a shriek of surprise when Kili picked her up by the waist and handed her down to Fili before descending two steps. Fili then handed her down to Kili and did the same thing. When she protested, they teased her about her luck and the possibility of her taking another tumble. She had protested and they had called back and forth all of her clumsy moments on the quest. She had to retaliate of course and it soon became a contest of trying to figure out who had been the clumsiest on the quest so far. Bella had to admit grudgingly that she was more clumsy in some ways having been unused to the road, but in others the princes were much more clumsy.

Their laughter and banter were so much fun that they were at the base of the stairs before she realized it. Kili ended up having the last stair and he set her down with a flourish and a bow. Fili jumped down and put Kili in a head lock, tousling his hair. She had to giggle at their antics, her heart feeling lighter than it had for a while now. She spotted Bofur waving her over, so she walked away from the two wrestling princes.

When she reached him, she discovered that the company had found a nice little cave at the base of the rock they had just climbed down. It had a smooth sandy bottom and a little stream wound by a little ways away. Bifur who had the strongest stone sense of the group had thoroughly inspected the cave and reassured them that there were no secret passages or false floors in this one. She had grinned at the grizzled dwarf before setting her pack back in a corner. She helped Oin check for any injuries that needed immediate attention. Once it was determined that there were no injuries that wouldn't keep for a bit, she drank from the stream until her stomach sloshed and then made her way over to her pack where she curled up and promptly fell asleep.

It was a little after noon when she woke up. Although she was still tired, she had gotten enough rest that she didn't feel as muzzy headed as she had. Yawning, she sat up and looked around. Most of the company was still asleep, even Gandalf was propped up against a wall and snoring slightly, his mouth hanging open. A few dwarves were awake or stirring, so she rose and slipped silently through them so as to not disturb them further.

She wasn't surprised to find Dwalin on guard, Grasper laid lightly across his lap as he stoically surveyed their surroundings. She tapped him gently on the shoulder to alert him to her presence, although she was pretty sure that he already knew that she was there, and murmured, "I can take a turn if you'd like some rest."

He offered her a tired smile, "Nay, lassie. I'll be fine for a bit longer until Gloin takes over. You've been right brave and Thorin most likely wouldn't be here without ye. But putting ye on guard alone is just asking for something to attack us."

She sighed but couldn't really refute him. "In that case, I'm going to try and scavenge some food for us. I'm sure everyone will be hungry when they wake and we lost most of our supplies. I won't go far, promise."

He scanned their surroundings again then nodded. "That would be a help. Stay within earshot and if you feel uneasy for any reason, come right back."

She nodded before heading back in and grabbing her pack before tiptoeing back out. She marveled for a moment that she'd managed to keep her pack through the madness and then set it aside. She dug out her water skin, a cloth pouch, and some fishing line and hooks. Propping her pack on the wall next to Dwalin, she offered him a cheerful smile and headed out.

She only had to walk for a few minutes before she found a quiet pool, perfect for fishing. Judging by how empty these lands were, the chance of the fish being spooked away were low. She set up a pole before starting to scout around the river for edibles. To her delight, she found a hearty patch of mushrooms and nibbled on enough to dull the edge of her hunger before dutifully gathering enough for the company. Checking the pole, she found that she had caught a fish, so she pulled it off and placed it in a shallow pool that she had dug to keep her catch in and threw the line back into the water. This process continued for the next half hour, where she found a loaded berry bush and a plethora of nuts as well. She filled her pouch with as much as she could and made a mental note of where to find them again.

She then went back and pulled out enough fish to feed the company or at least take the edge off. Converting her fishing line into a string so she could carry all of the fish, she made her way back to the cave. All told, she had been gone for just under an hour, this area was just bursting with nature's bounty. Loaded down but with a light heart, she had to remind herself not to whistle as she made her way back to the company.

She approached the cave to find Fili and Dwalin in a quiet but intense discussion. Feeling mischievous, she whistled like a robin and saw their heads jerk up and look around. She was gratified to see Dwalin's eyes widen slightly as he took her and her load in. Relief flashed so quickly over Fili's face that she almost missed before he strode over and relieved her of the fish. She shot him a grateful smile as they walked together the short distance to the cave.

She told Dwalin gleefully, "The land around here is just bursting with food. We're going to be ok."

Tension eased from the guard's shoulders and he gave her a full smile. "That is good news. I was starting to get worried."

She apologized, "I'm sorry. There was just so much out there. I brought back as much as I could. I'll have to take a couple of others with me next time and we can bring back even more. This was all that I could carry. I stayed close though, within earshot."

He grunted, "Good girl." Then he jerked his head towards the cave, a silent command to take the food inside.

Entering the cave, she was surprised to find that the rest of the company were up and moving about. Bombur's face lit up when Fili gave him the fish and she gave him the pouch of food she had gathered. She looked over the group and noted that they were in sad shape indeed. Most of them were moving stiffly and they were covered with gore and grime from their misadventures. Not to mention that she'd never seen their hair and braids in such disarray. However, they looked tired and distracted, uncertain of what to do next.

Having grown used to directing large groups of people and having grown extremely fond of the company, she decided to take over. Standing in the middle of the cave, she cleared her throat loudly. All of the dwarves turned and looked at her tiredly and she propped her hands on her hips before smiling at them. "Now, aren't we a sorry looking lot."

There were some grumbles but no one could refute her statement. "Here's what I propose that we do. Gloin, you need to relieve Dwalin on watch so he can rest a bit. Bombur, you're in charge of getting the meal cooked, sorry. As for the rest of us, there's a stream nearby where we can get cleaned up and tended. Gloin and Bombur can get cleaned up when we return. I think that the eagles carried us far enough away that we should be safe for a bit, so taking a day or so to tend to ourselves shouldn't hurt anything. And if someone brings me the clothes while you lot bath, I can wash them for you."

Bofur stared at her, "You would do that for us, lass?"

She tilted her head slightly, "Is there some sort of significance in washing clothes that I'm unaware of?"

It was Gloin who nodded and answered, "Usually, the care of weapons, clothing, and hair is only done by kin, if a dwarf is unable to care for it themselves."

She rolled her eyes at them and their odd culture, but couldn't help her smile. "After all that we've been through, I think that I can reasonably say that you're like kin to me. Plus, I happen to be the only person in possession of soap at the moment. So yes, I'm willing to wash the clothes while you all get cleaned up and get rid of the smell of orc." She crinkled her nose delicately at the foul scent that indeed covered all of them.

To the last one, they laid a hand over their heart and bowed to her before making their way out of the cave. Gloin replaced Dwalin but instead of going to sleep, he decided to go get cleaned up as well as watch over Thorin while they washed up. As they headed towards the stream, she called abruptly for Fili to wait. He turned and headed back while she dug messily through her bag before triumphantly coming up with two bars of soap. She passed him one and kept the other for herself. "I'll be right over there, if someone would be so kind as to bring me the clothes."

He nodded and headed after the company. The dwarves were noisy enough that she could easily track their movements and she angled away from them until she found a good spot on the river bank for washing. She stripped off her jacket and waistcoat, taking only a moment to slip the ring onto a leather thong and hanging it around her neck so she wouldn't lose it. Then she proceeded to vigorously scrub at her clothes. Her hair had grown over the journey and kept falling into her face, so she pulled it back with another leather thong into a rough ponytail with a mental note to trim it short later. 

She scrubbed up her jacket and waistcoat the best that she could, sighing over their sad state. Finally she hung them over a branch to dry. That was the moment that Fili appeared, carrying an enormous piling of clothing. She eyed it, wondering idly what she had gotten herself into. She motioned for him to set it down and rolled up her sleeves. To her surprise, Fili did so, but then instead of leaving, stripped his jacket off and set it aside before joining her on the river bank. Seeing that he was planning on helping her, she asked, "Don't you want to go get cleaned up?"

He grinned at her, "And leave you alone with this mountain? I think not. My mother would have my hide."

She chuckled at that, but let her protest die. Then she mock frowned at him, "Unfortunately, that's a problem."

He raised an eyebrow, "Oh? One would think that you would be happy for help with that lot."

She sighed sadly, "Indeed I would. However, I only have one bar of soap."

She held it up for him to see and he laughed at that. Taking it from her, he pulled out one of his many daggers and cut it neatly in half. "There you go, problem solved."

She took the soap from him with a grin, "Well, aren't you handy. I might just keep you around after all. Let's get to work then, those clothes won't wash themselves."

They chatted companionably while they worked, just little things about their lives. In less time than she believed possible, the mountain of clothes were washed and spread over every available surface to dry. Stretching her back to ease the kink out of it, she surveyed their work with satisfaction. Turning back, she found Fili washing up his jacket, frowning at a ragged tear on one of the sleeves. She peeked over his shoulder and said, "I can probably mend that."

He'd been so focused on his task that he didn't realize that she was right there and jumped. She stepped back to avoid their heads slamming together and giggled. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

He just shook his head, "You're too quiet."

She pointed at herself, "Burglar, remember? I wouldn't be of much use if I were noisy."

He sighed and gave up on the coat, swishing it through the water before setting it aside to dry. Surveying him, she said, "You might as well take your tunic and shirt off so I can wash them and we can check for injuries as well."

He turned and looked at her, his eyes wide and his cheeks dusted with red. She wanted to chuckle at his flustered expression but shoved it down. She asked quietly, "Another taboo?"

He swallowed hard and looked away for a minute before forcing himself to look back at her. He coughed and cleared his throat awkwardly before replying, "No, just unexpected is all."

She sighed, "Fili, I know that you're crown prince and have many duties and responsibilities. But you're so busy taking care of everyone else that no one else ever seems to take care of you. I mean, Kili tries but he's still so young." She shrugged. "I can't do most of what you all take for granted, but I do know how to take care of people. Please, let me take care of you for a little bit."

This seemed to strike him speechless and he stared at her before doing as she requested. She took his shirt and tunic, trying not to blush herself, and handed him a damp rag. "Wipe up and let's see what the extent of the damage is. Once I get these washed, you can take the clothes back to the others and get fully cleaned up."

He had moved to the edge of the river and knelt, splashing water over himself, but paused and her words and looked up with a frown. "What about you?"

Scrubbing at a nasty spot, she did NOT want to know what the source of that was, she said absently, "What about me?"

"Don't you want to get cleaned up?"

This caused her to flush and she ducked her head. "Well, yes. I figured that I would bathe while you took the clothes back."

He shook his head. "No, that won't do at all."

She sighed in exasperation, "I'll be perfectly fine. There's nothing around for miles!"

His face tightened, "You don't know that. You'll be vulnerable while you get cleaned up. If I'm going to allow you to take care of me, then you have to let me do the same for you. That means watching out for you when you are vulnerable. You won't have any weapons while you clean up and it would take too long for the others to respond if you called for help." His fists clenched and unclenched before he said, the teasing sounding forced, "I won't peek if that's what you're worried about, my word of honor."

She rolled her eyes but felt oddly warmed by his concern. "Fine, you ridiculous dwarf, you can keep watch. Prepare for boredom though, there's absolutely nothing out here besides some wildlife."

She finished washing his clothes before coming over and examining him for injuries. She hissed when she saw a large bruise on his rib cage, but when she gingerly prodded it, his ribs seemed to be intact. He hissed at her touch, but when she went to draw back, he shook his head and motioned for her to continue. Once she was satisfied that it would heal unaided, she looked him over. Forcing herself to ignore his toned muscles, she carefully examined him. Once she was satisfied that it was mainly bruising with a few tiny scrapes and cuts, she stepped back and let him get to his feet. "I have some salve that will help with the bruising. Remind me to give it to you later."

He nodded before studying her. "What about you?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and flushed cherry red. "Just bruises and a few scrapes and you are going to have to take my word for that. Now scat so I can get cleaned up."

He laughed at her flustered expression but kindly didn't remark on it and did as she asked. He moved so that he was on the far side of a tree and leaned against it facing away from her. Chiding herself for acting like a tween with a crush, she hurriedly stripped and washed her clothes before wading into the stream. She sighed in relief as the cool water washed over her. She heard a rustle of cloth as Fili shifted restlessly, but when she glanced over his way, he was still facing away. Knowing that he was probably as eager to get clean as she was, she hurried through her bath, hissing occasionally when she hit a bruise. Once she was satisfied that she had managed to get every bit of grime, she climbed out and got dressed, her clothes having thankfully dried enough so that they were only slightly damp, something that she would take over being covered in gore.

Bending over the stream and wringing out her hair, she called to Fili that it was safe to come out. A sharp intake of breath had her straightening up and looking around, but she couldn't see anything that would cause concern, so she went back to her task.

His voice rough, Fili said abruptly, "I'm just going to take these clothes back to everyone and get cleaned up. I'll see you at the cave."

She nodded, tossing him the sliver of soap that was left which he caught with ease, tucking it absently into a pocket. With that, he grabbed the clothes and hastily disappeared into the undergrowth. Feeling her stomach growl, she quickly made her way back to the cave, hoping that the meal was ready. To her delight it was nearly ready and Bombur turned it over to her so that he could go get cleaned up as well. She offered for Gloin to go as well, but he just shook his head. She shrugged, letting it go as a vagary of dwarves, there was no other reason that the campsite would need guarded.

Still, that couldn't dampen her joy at being clean and safe and as she worked setting up the cave a little bit better, she found herself singing a hobbit work song, the melody cheerful and lilting. She came to the end and finished with a whirl and a flourish, only to turn and find the entire company watching her. Forcing down her embarrassment, she said, "Perfect timing, the meal's ready."

That brought smiles to their faces and they came forward eagerly to receive their portions. Bofur grinned at her, "That was a cheerful little tune, lass. Glad to see that you've perked back up."

She shrugged, "I'm clean, unharmed, and about to eat. That's a win in my book."

She sat down and the princes immediately plopped down on each side of her. She went to take a bite of fish when one of her curls dropped down on to her face. Blowing it out of her eyes, she grumbled, "Drat this hair. As soon as I'm done eating, I'm cutting it."

Kili choked on his fish and she turned and thumped him on the back until he managed to catch his breath. Satisfied that he was going to be ok, she turned her attention back to her meal only to realize that the silence had turned from comfortable to strained. Looking around, the expressions on the dwarves faces seemed to say that someone had died.

Thorin looked especially pained and she wondered if his injuries were flaring up. Before she could ask, he said quietly, "Before you do so drastic of an action, who is it that you believe that you've wronged? If my words have caused you to feel thus..."

He trailed off and she wondered if the mushrooms weren't the safe type after all, cause all of the dwarves were nodding emphatically. Poor Ori looked like he was near tears. She said firmly, "You've already apologized. I don't understand."

The dwarves devolved into arguments over who could be behind this, listing possible offenses and comments. She looked at Gandalf for help. He chuckled, "I believe, my dear, that this is a cultural misunderstanding. They are distressed because you want to cut your hair." The entire company nodded emphatically.

She picked up a curl and studied it quizzically, but couldn't find anything out of the ordinary about it. "What's wrong with cutting it? It's getting too long and it's getting in the way and if I let it go much longer, I'll have a bush for hair."

It was Kili who ventured hesitantly, "So you aren't upset?"

She studied them, "Upset about what?"

Balin jumped in, "When a dwarf has offended someone, he can offer them his beard as reparation. Also, a dwarf can cut their hair and beard to signify a vow or disavowal. Our hair is our pride and it tells of our lineage. I'm guessing that it's not the same for hobbits?"

At his questioning tone, she shook her head. "No, nothing of the sort. Plenty of hobbit women wear their hair long or short, depending on their preference. I keep my short to signify my spinster status and plus because it is easy to care for. My hair fights back, you see, and I am absolutely terrible at braiding."

Balin stroked his beard thoughtfully. "If it's just inconvenience, I'm sure that we can work out a way to take care of it."

She frowned over at him. "Dwarves don't touch another's hair unless they're family, right? I don't want to impose on anyone."

He puzzled over this for several minutes, thinking it over deeply, and she didn't rush him. Finally he said, "You said earlier that you consider us like kin. Did you truly mean that? Think carefully, for kin is very important to dwarves."

She nodded, "As it to hobbits. There is little more that we value in this world beyond family, friends, and food and drink. And I don't have to think about it. You have all become kin to me in your own ways. I am honored to have met you."

The dwarves all beamed at her and before she could ask, Balin said, "It seems like most of us have come to consider you kin as well. That's sorted then, one of us will help you with your hair until you can manage it yourself."

At this declaration, a fierce argument broke out in Khuzdul. Bella watched with bemusement as the argument got quite heated and she wasn't sure if they were competing for the honor of doing her hair or arguing against having to be the one to deal with the mess that was her hair. Gandalf merely puffed on his pipe and observed the going ons with great amusement. Sighing, she finished her meal and left them to it. Going to her pack to pull out her small sewing kit, she found the tin of salve that she had promised Fili.

Making her way over and speaking quietly so as not to disturb Gloin who currently had the floor, she gave him the salve and told him to give her his jacket. He slipped it off absentmindedly and handed it to her, intently following whatever it was that Gloin was saying. She made her way over and sat next to Gandalf. She asked the wizard, "Do you suppose any of them remember that it's my hair that they're arguing about."

He chuckled and blew a smoke ring. "Leave them be, this is the most fun I've had in ages."

She laughed and shook her head, "Of course it is, it's not your hair that's at risk. I tell you right now, I refuse to have a hairdo like Dori or Nori. No way." Gandalf started to speak and she said, "And don't say that it might be fetching."

He closed his mouth again, silently laughing at her no doubt. She quickly threaded a needle and started working on mending Fili's jacket, the movements familiar and soothing. She worked steadily, ignoring the argument that was still going steadily.

Fili finally said firmly,** "I'll braid her hair. I offered her protection earlier and she accepted. As her protector, it's my right to take care of her."**

This caused all of them to look over at the hobbit lass who was diligently ignoring them, working steadily on mending Fili's jacket. Thorin said quietly, **"Is that true?"**

He nodded, squaring his shoulders, **"I offered to keep watch while she bathed. She accepted that offer."**

Nori pointed out slyly,** "Does the lass even know what that offer of protection meant?"**

Fili crossed his arms and said quietly, **"It doesn't matter if she knows or not. I knew what I was offering when I made the offer and I will not revoke it."**

Thorin nodded. **"Then so be it. The role of protector is not an easy one, but you have always been an honorable dwarf and I know that you will carry out this role to the best of your abilities. If you need any assistance with this task, the company is at your disposal."**

He nodded his thanks to them and offered them an elaborate bow. There were a few grumbles, but no one out right challenged him, so it was settled.

Hearing the argument die down, Bella yawned and looked up to find the company settled back down, pulling out small tasks from their pockets having finished eating while they argued. Fili came over and offered her a hand up. She held up a finger in the universal just a moment sign and quickly finished the last few stitches, tying it off firmly. Cutting the thread, she tucked her sewing kit into her pocket and allowed him to help her up.

Handing him his jacket, she asked, "So, who won the unenviable task of trying to tame my hair?" She lowered her voice and added, "Please say it wasn't Nori."

He chuckled, inspecting the seam. "I can't even tell that it was ripped. And no, it's not Nori. I will be braiding your hair for you. Let's do it now so you can get some sleep."

She opened her mouth to protest only to be cut off by a jaw cracking yawn. "Very well. But keep it simple please."

He nodded, guiding her over to where she was sitting earlier. He urged her gently to a sitting position and pulled a comb out of one of his many pockets. While he worked, he hummed and soon the other dwarves joined in singing. Between their deep voices and the gentle pulling of the comb, she found herself relaxing. By the time he finished with the braid, she was nearly asleep sitting up.

He said proudly, startling her back to full awareness. "There, all done. What do you think?"

Reaching up, she cautiously ran her fingers over her hair. It felt simple yet intricate at the same time, several little braids woven into a single braid down the back. She turned her head back and forth then rapidly shook her head yes to test it that way. To her delight, it didn't seem to budge at all, but it was not uncomfortable like several of the lasses with long hair in the Shire had complained about when they braided their hair. She grinned up at him where he was impatiently waiting, "It's perfect! Do you think that you could teach me how to do it?"

He smiled at her, "Sure, if I could teach Kili to braid I should be able to teach you."

She teased, "Ah, so that's why his hair is always unbraided." Both brothers exclaimed indignantly and she laughed. Standing, she said, "It really is perfect, thank you, Fili. I'm going to turn in. Good night." She nodded to the princes and made her way over to the corner that she had claimed as her own. Running her hand gently over her hair again, she smiled as she fell asleep.

* * *

Bella put aside the quill and reached up to run her fingers gently over her braid that showed her relationship to Fili. She hadn't understood, truly understood, the importance of hair to dwarves until much later in their journey. Fili had been true to his word and showed her how to create the braid that he had, but she had never quite mastered the knack of it like he had. It was a pity that she couldn't wear her hair like that here in the Shire, it had been so comfortable and had kept the hair easily out of her way. But it was too foreign and it would've raised questions, questions that she would not have an answer for.

That night had also marked a turning point for her in the company. From that point on, she had no longer felt alone in the group, but rather one of them. It had warmed her heart, finding a family again in the most unexpected of places. Oh how Lobelia would've had fits, but she had found that she couldn't care as they had all cared for her and she had done the same for them during their travels. It had said a lot about her life that she was more comfortable around dwarves than she often felt amongst her own blood relatives. Although she knew that her Took relations would get along well with the company. She chuckled at that, maybe it was better if they didn't meet, it was better if Erebor and the Great Smials remained intact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I meant to get them all the way to Beorn's this chapter, but Bella insisted that they needed a rest. And to my surprise some culture was thrown into this chapter as well.  
Just to clear things up, Kili is not trying to woo Bella, he's just messing with Fili a bit. He truly supports them, as will be shown later in the story. I do not do love triangles. Not now, not ever, they drive me crazy. (quietly steps off soap box and puts it away.)  
Protector is a very important role, even if Bella does not understand what Fili offered her. Protector is not a romantic role, although it can be. But when Fili offered to watch out for Bella while she was bathing and thus vulnerable, he was offering to put himself between her and any danger. When she accepted, she was saying that she trusted him with her life and granting him with the role of her protector. It is a very great honor amongst dwarves, as least in my story, lol.
> 
> Also, I totally did not plan that moment between Tauriel and Fili. I was planning to say something about how Mirkwood seems to be healing somewhat and is easier to pass, and why could that be? (Destruction of the ring, refer to chapter one if you don't know what I'm talking about). Instead, there was some sibling bonding between them and Tauriel pledged herself fully to the quest to reclaim Bella, yay!
> 
> Next chapter - The group traveling to the Shire makes it out of Mirkwood, the company reaches Beorn's, and an offer of courtship is made (if the characters cooperate, that is)
> 
> Enjoy!


	18. Beorn's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to get this chapter up. December was crazy, about 2/3rds of my family had birthdays in December and that's not ever counting the holidays. So enjoy and another one will be up soon.

The dwarves were waiting on the edge of Mirkwood while Tauriel spoke briefly with the elves before they returned to the palace. While they waited, Fili pulled off his jacket and carefully inspected the sleeve. Kili bounded over to him, obviously bored with whatever it was that Tauriel was telling the others. "What are you doing?"

He replied absently, "After Carrock, Bella fixed the sleeve on my jacket, it had a rip. I'm trying to see if I can find it."

Kili rolled his eyes, "You're not crazy and you're not making her up, if that's what you're still worried about."

Fili found the spot, tiny stitches rendering the mend practically invisible, and let out a sigh of relief. "I know that I'm not, but sometimes it still seems so unreal. It's like she disappeared into thin air, without any trace that she ever really existed. It's rather unnerving sometimes and I'd give just about anything to have something of hers, something to prove to myself that she's real."

Kili shrugged sympathetically, "We'll be at the Shire soon enough. I mean, look at how much time we cut off the trek through Mirkwood with the help from the elves. And after the battle, the orcs, wargs, and goblins are totally decimated so hopefully we won't have to spend much time fighting or running from them. Also, we won't have to wait to read the moon runes at Rivendell. Plus, no one's injured so we can move at a good pace."

Fili cheered up at this. "That's right. Thank you, nadad."

Tauriel finished up and the elves bowed to her before disappearing back into the shadows of the forest. She made her way quickly over to where they were waiting. "Sorry, just some last minute things that needed to be attended. Ready to go?"

Fili shook his head no, slipping his jacket back on. Tauriel looked at them curiously and Kili answered, "This is Beorn's land. When we were planning the quest, we sent a raven asking for permission to cross his land. He responded with permission and also invited us to visit him at his home, which is quite the honor. He told us to send word when we reached his land and he would send ponies to fetch us. So we're waiting for the return of the raven so we can send it back to Erebor."

Right at that moment, several ponies and a horse came into view. They swarmed around the group, whinnying and nickering their welcomes. A raven landed on Fili's shoulder and he spoke quietly with it before giving it his thanks and sending it back to Erebor. By then, the dwarves and ponies had sorted themselves out, a pony each selecting a dwarf to carry and the dwarf bowing to it before mounting.

When they reached Beorn's, he greeted them jovially, a distinct contrast from his suspicions that first time. Fili vaguely got the impression that Bella had somehow smoothed things between the two parties, but it was only an impression, nothing that he could put his finger on. Even Tauriel, whom he'd never met before, was warmly accepted and they were treated to an enormous lunch. Tauriel was tense at first, especially when the serving animals came in, but when none of the others batted an eye at this she relaxed and began to enjoy herself.

Later, he could never be sure of who started the drinking contest, but Fili resigned himself to not leaving until the next day. Normally he'd be one of the first ones to join in, but he just watched the contest while nursing a single mug of ale, laughing as the antics got more and more outrageous. Thankfully, it was nothing that would offend their host, so he let it go. He absently wondered how many times Thorin had had to make similar choices on the quest, whether to let it go or reign his companions in. Leaving Kili in Tauriel's care and knowing that no harm would come to them at Beorn's, he turned in, hoping for another dream from his One.

* * *

Feeling nostalgic, Bella made up her famous honey walnut scones. She nibbled on one warm from the oven and savored the test, although they were nowhere near as good as the ones made from Beorn's honey. This brought a smile to her face as she opened the book to write about that restful time in the house of a man that could change into a bear.

* * *

When she'd woken the next morning, she'd been pleased to find that her hair was still intact. Climbing to her feet, she stretched luxuriously, having slept untroubled throughout the night by nightmares as she had half expected to be. Most of the dwarves were still sleeping, so she tiptoed out of the cave. Nori nodded her as she quickly scampered off to see to her needs before washing her hands in the stream and returning to the cave. She settled down next to Nori, pleased to see that he looked much more himself. They chatted quietly as they stood watch, listening to the forest around them slowly come to life. 

Gradually the company woke up, grumbling a bit about bruises and stiffness, but overall in a better mood then they had been for days. Before anyone could stop her, she snagged Bofur and Ori and dragged them off, yelling over her shoulder that they'd be back shortly. There was a chorus of protest behind them, but Bella firmly ignored them. Foraging, she loaded them down with all that they could carrying and then some. She was delighted when she discovered how strong Ori was and chatted animatedly about all the differences between him and other dwarves and the benefits and drawbacks of his strength.

Bofur was also cheerful, cracking jokes as they rummaged through nature's bounty, although he was dubious a few times and teased her about trying to poison them in retaliation for having to wash their clothes. She had laughed but fired back that if they fumes from their clothes hadn't killed them, they were probably invulnerable to poison. Both he and Ori roared at that, their laughter startling birds into flight and causing them to hush remembering that they were still in unknown territory.

Even with the extra hands, they soon hand more than they could carry and made their way to where the company was waiting impatiently for them. Handing off her share to Bombur, Bella made her way over to where Fili was leaning against the cave wall frowning. When she asked him what was wrong, he quietly scolded her for running off without letting anyone know where she was going. She thought about protesting that she'd taken Bofur and Ori, but knew that it wouldn't do any good and simply promised not to let it happen again. 

Seeming to sense that she wasn't happy with his overbearing manner, he said, "You did well finding food. Gandalf said that there is someone nearby that might help us. We're heading out shortly, we were just waiting for you to get back." He offered her a small grin.

She couldn't help smiling back at him. He was under heavy responsibilities as Thorin's heir and with Thorin injured, no doubt Fili was stressing about taking care of the company. She wouldn't hold the scolding against him, knowing that it was mostly worry on his part. Feeling her cheeks heating up a bit, she pulled out her handkerchief from where it was tucked carefully into her pocket with something in it and handed it too him.

He took it, looking at her quizzically. She said happily, "Open it."

He did so carefully, his eyes lighting up when he saw the handful of blackberries in the handkerchief. "Where did you find these?"

She smiled, "Most of them weren't quite ready yet. I remember how you said that blackberries were your favorite, so I kept an eye out. There wasn't much, so don't let anyone else know." 

She steadfastly refused to think about the other aspect of sharing food with someone, a gesture of hobbit courting. This was just a thank you for his watching out for her and for his help with the clothes and her hair. Nothing more than that. He was picking through them before he held up the largest. "If that's the case, then I insist that you have some as well. They're always better when they're shared."

Not wanting to get drawn into a lengthy explanation that would just cause things to be awkward over what was just a nice gesture, she took it and popped it into her mouth. She knew that her cheeks were flaming, but she enjoyed the tart sweetness that burst over her tongue as she chewed. He ate one as well, watching her. When she finished, he offered her another but she shook her head. "Thank you, no. Those are delicious, but I ate while we gathered. You enjoy the rest, I'm going to go make sure that my pack is ready."

She turned and hurried away before she could get any redder than she already was. What on earth was she thinking? The fall must've jarred her more than she realized. Fili was her friend and nothing more, there was no way he could be attracted to a spinster hobbit that had been nothing but a nuisance on the trip. He was just being kind and watching out for her, nothing more. Making sure that her pack was in order, she ruthlessly got her unruly thoughts into order.

Thankfully, before she could work herself into a dither, Thorin ordered them to move out. She fell in beside Nori. Before she could speak, Nori said teasingly, "What was that I saw you give the prince?"

Reining in the words that she wanted to snap, she said nonchalantly, "Just some berries that I'd found. Where are we going?"

He smirked knowingly at her, but she refused to rise to the bait, instead waiting him out. He caved surprisingly quick, "Gandalf knows a man this way. Skin changer named Beorn. He might be willing to help us out or he might slaughter us all. It's a wait and see situation."

She sighed, "Of course it is. Still, there's a chance that he might be willing to help, which is better than certain death at the hands of orcs and goblins. I'll take it."

Without giving him a chance to respond, she made her way over to where Bifur was walking. He had been slowly teaching her new words in iglishmek and they could carry on a pretty good conversation now. The morning passed pleasantly enough while they talked about the various plants in the area, what was edible and what would kill you. The dwarves sang as they walked, Gandalf having reassured them that they were safe enough for the moment. She even allowed Bifur to persuade her to join in a few times and even went so far as to teach them a popular hobbit drinking song, the tune catchy and good to walk to.

It was afternoon when they reached the edge of a meadow, giant bees buzzing lazily in the warm sun. Bella's eyes widened when one flew past her, she'd never seen one so large in all of her life. She saw a herd of horses grazing nearby, but they took off, apparently spooked by their presence. Gandalf called for them to halt under the edge of the trees and outlined his plans about having them approach slowly, in pairs set five minutes apart. She muttered under her breath about wizards and their tricks, recognizing it as the method that the dwarves had used when they'd come to Bag End. 

No one paid attention to her, all too busy arguing over the order that they would be arriving in. It descended into total anarchy when it was declared that Gandalf and Bella would be going first. Something about what Gandalf had said was niggling at an old memory of hers, something about Beorn, about a skin changer. She paced off to the side, trying to remember what it was. When she heard Gloin shouting about protecting her, it came back to her. Back before the wandering days, hobbits had lived in this area and the skin changers had been their protectors. Although the reason for the wandering days had been lost, it was held as truth that something catastrophic had happened to both them and their protectors to cause them to flee. She thought that she had heard Gandalf say that Beorn was alone. 

If that were the case. She bit her lip as she thought it over. This could go either way, either he could remember his ties to her people, or his people had turned on hers and forced them to flee. She looked over the company, taking in their worn, bedraggled appearance, she decided that it was worth the risk. She moved away from the arguing group and searched for flowers. She quickly found the ones that she was looking for and wove them together to make a flower crown. With a sigh, she started reluctantly undoing the braid that Fili had done for her. She then fluffed the curls out and placed the daisy crown on top of her head. Dusting off her clothes best she could, and weren't they in sad, sad shape missing buttons and all raggedy, she tried to make herself look more presentable. Finally, she reached down and straightened the curls on her feet, frowning as she tried to remember the last time she'd properly tended her feet.

Finally, when she was as neat and nonthreatening as she could make herself, she rejoined the company. She said softly but firmly, "Enough, Gandalf and I will go first and then the rest of you will follow at five minute intervals. As much as it irks me," here she raised an eyebrow at Gandalf and he had the grace to look vaguely sheepish. "His methods usually do work. I promise that I will be perfectly fine until I can see you all again."

Gandalf muttered under his breath about her vote of confidence in him, but she ignored him, staring down the dwarves. Eventually Thorin nodded in agreement and the others gave in with ill grace. Fili came over and pressed a small dagger into her hands. He said quietly, his expression fierce, "We'll be right behind you, if you need us just yell and we'll be there."

She slipped the dagger into her pocket without protest and smiled at him. "It'll be ok, trust me."

His hands clenched into fists, but he nodded sharply once before moving off and joining Kili, both of them shooting dark looks at Gandalf.

Bella muttered to Gandalf, "Let's go before they decide to stop us and argue some more."

He nodded and they quickly left. As they walked, Gandalf examined her closely, "What are you up to?"

She smiled tightly at him, "Something that might work out well or might not. I am not sure. I am hoping that it works in our favor."

He looked at her in confusion, but allowed silence to fall as they walked. Soon, a house came into view with an enormous man out front chopping wood. Bella had never seen a man as large as this one, he seemed to be a veritable giant to her. He nodded to the horses gathered nearby and said something to them that she couldn't quite make out before sending them on their way.

The man hailed them, "Who are you and what brings you to my doorstep?"

Gandalf said calmly, "I am called Gandalf and we are in need of your aid."

The man said calmly, "I don't know who you are, what are you doing on my land? And who is your companion?"

He turned his full attention to her and his eyes widened. The man knelt on one knee in front of her. "I haven't seen one of your kind since I was a small lad." He studied her carefully, taking her in from her flower crown to her furry feet. "What brings you this way, little bunny?"

She smiled at him and offered him a bouquet of daisies. "We have not come this way by choice. We are being hunted by orcs and goblins. But Gandalf can tell it much better than I. Will you listen to our tale?"

The man accepted the bouquet and climbed back to his feet. "I suppose that you had better come inside and let me hear this story of yours."They followed him in and Gandalf wasted no time spinning his tale. She only half listened, focused more on the garden and the various flowers that she could see. She could name maybe half of them, the rest being unknown to her.

She did smile as each group of dwarves approached, letting them know that she was fine. Thorin and Dori came first and she could have sworn that relief flashed briefly through the exiled king's eyes, but it was there and gone so quickly that she couldn't be sure. Nori and Ori appeared next, Nori offering her a sly wink when their host wasn't looking. She rolled her eyes at him but smiled nonetheless.

Balin and Dwalin came next and Beorn quickly waved them aside, eager to continue with the story. Dwalin drifted casually over to her side, crossing his arms firmly over his chest while leaning against the table. She started pointing out the different flowers and their uses and meanings. He didn't respond to her verbally, but she knew that he was paying careful attention to her words. Ori was perched on the bench behind her and she knew that he was absorbing every word as well.

Fili and Kili arrived next and even when Fili bowed, Bella could tell that he was subtly looking for her and Thorin. Seeing that they were both safe, a little of the tension in his frame eased. She offered him a smile and he gave her the barest of nods of acknowledgement. Seeing that she was adequately surrounded by Dwalin and Ori, he and Kili made their way over and subtly flanked Thorin, appearing deceptively at ease. Bella knew from having traveled with them that the ease was a lie and that they could shift to battle ready in mere seconds.

Next came Oin and Gloin and Beorn merely waved them aside, riveted by Gandalf's story. They quietly found places to sit, carefully not to draw attention away from the tale that Gandalf was skillfully weaving. Then finally Bifur and Bofur appeared with Bombur right on their heels. Bella felt herself relaxing, now that the entire company was together again.

She had to admit, although she was only slightly paying attention, Gandalf was quite the accomplished storyteller. It was Beorn's booming laughter that pulled her attention fully back onto them. Beorn exclaimed, "If more guests were able to spin such wonderful tales, they might find me a more hospitable host. You may stay here until I've verified your story. Stay in the house and if you need anything, let the animals know and they will do their best to provide you with whatever it is you need."

Bella hopped down off the bench and grinned up at him. "Thank you very much for your hospitality. Do you have cloth that I can use for clothes? We've lost most of our supplies to the goblins."

Beorn grinned and knelt in front of her. "Of course, little bunny. Whatever you need. Rest and regain your strength, eat and heal, I'll be back in a few days at most." With that, he got to his feet and strode out. 

She let out a sigh of relief and turned to Gandalf, "Looks like your little gamble paid off. Please don't try something like that again."

He chuckled at that, "Like your idea was any less risky, Bella Baggins. You have quite a bit of your mother in you after all."

She laughed a little at that. "It looks like I do at that." Right then, the hall filled up with animals. She blinked in surprise as one of them came up and gently nudged her. "I think that's my cue to follow them. I'll see you all at supper."

She glanced over at Fili whom she thought would protest, but he was dragging Ori with him out the door and into the garden. Wondering what in the world could've gotten into him now, she obediently followed the sheep, motioning for Dori to come with her. The mithril haired dwarf did so, looking suddenly weary and confused. She could tell that the past several days had taken a toll on him and maybe getting his mind off it for a little while would do him a world of good.

He looked around the room filled with cloth curiously while Bella quietly thanked the sheep for it's help. He asked politely, "What can I do for you, Miss Bella?"

She smiled at him. "Your brothers tell me that you are a tailor of some renown. Master Beorn has given us leave to use what we need to replenish our outfits. Since you probably know the company's measurements much better than I do, I was hoping that you'd help me with at least a couple of them."

Dori's eyes lit up and the tension in his shoulders eased. "Yes indeed, I can do that. It's been much too long since I've held a needle and thread. Where should we start?"

She shrugged, "Whose clothes are in the worst repair?"

He actually grinned at her, "We're all in a rather sorry state, lass."

Pleased to see the serious dwarf relaxing, she said, "Since I'm rather new at this, I make my own clothes of course, but they are quite different from dwarven clothes, why don't we start with Ori and you can show me the basics and then we can go from there."

He rubbed his hands together. "That's an excellent idea. Let's get started."

He immediately started perusing the shelves and Bella hung back, content to follow his lead.

* * *

They had spent all afternoon amongst the cloth and Bella was astonished at how quickly Dori could put an outfit together. He had even surprised her by joking about how he'd been do it for so many years, of course he would be good at it. She'd had to laughingly admit that that was true and had been content with the simpler pieces that he had given her to work on. It was an amicable afternoon and it had passed pleasantly with Dori telling her tales that he had told Ori when he was just a dwarfling. It was a fascinating look into both dwarven culture and the reserved dwarf.

They had outfitted nearly half the company when the animals came and fetched them for dinner. She had gladly set her sewing aside, her fingers no longer familiar with long hours of sewing. As they walked to the main hall where the company, she worked on massaging the cramps from her fingers and tried to ignoring the stinging from the multiple finger pricks.

Nori saw her doing this and grimaced sympathetically at her. From the little she could glean about the Ri's life from Dori, they had barely managed to scrape out a living, part of what had more than likely turned Nori to his thieving ways to support them. He had probably pitched in where he could to help Dori finish orders, so he was probably familiar with pricked and cramping fingers. She offered him a slight smile and made her way to the table.

She found an empty place on the bench between Kili and Dwalin and hummed happily when she saw the food spread out on the table. There were loads of milk, honey, and bread, which wasn't surprising given that he was a giant bear shapeshifter. But there was a multitude of dishes and endless honey mead as well. She tucked in with gusto, not bothering to join in with the dwarves conversation.

Kili teased her about it but she just took another bite of honey smeared bread and grinned at him. He toasted her with his mug of ale and turned his attention back to his own meal. Bella glanced around the table, noting that all of the dwarves were eating heartily despite the lack of meat on the table. All of them except for Fili. He was staring at her, but when she met his gaze, he jerked his eyes away and focused back on his plate. She frowned as he just picked at his food, not looking up again although she waited several minutes. Now what could be bothering the golden haired prince?

A curl fell into her eyes and she blew it off impatiently before pausing mid-bite. Was it her hair? If that was the case, she'd ask him to redo it after dinner. Was there some sort of taboo about unbraiding braided hair that she was unaware of? Or had she caused offense by doing so? She didn't think so, but who ever knew with dwarves. She would talk to him after dinner and get it straightened out.

She ate until she couldn't hold another bite and then leaned back with a sigh of contentment. Most of the other dwarves had finished some time before and were gathered around the fireplace smoking contentedly. She was just turning to leave the table when she found Fili standing behind her uneasily. She smiled at him. "Fili, just the dwarf I was looking for."

He gave her an odd smile, it was a mixture of his usual charming one, but it also contained uncertainty and even a touch of fear. She asked quietly, "Fili?"

He held his hand out to her, "Would you care for a stroll?"

She slid her hand into his and allowed him to help her to her feet. She smiled reassuringly at him, "I've been dying to examine the garden and the evening looks beautiful." She had hoped that her acceptance would help him relax, but he remained as tense as ever.

Once she was on her feet, he dropped her hand but placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her outside and away from the others. "It is lovely and Beorn has lovely gardens. Ori and I spent some time out here earlier scouting them out."

She giggled a little, "I was dying to get out here earlier, but I cannot really see you being all that excited about a bunch of flowers."

He offered her a lopsided grin, watching indulgently as she stopped her and there to examine a flower. "There starting to grow on me."

She asked curiously, "Why were you scouting the gardens? I'm sure that there can't possible be anything this dangerous close to Beorn's house."

Fili shrugged, "It never hurts to know your surroundings, peaceful or not."

She bent down and carefully examined a delicate flower before smelling it, a small smile crossing her face at it's pleasant scent. "I suppose that makes sense. I have a question and a favor to ask of you." His curiosity obviously sparked, he motioned for her to continue. "Did I do something offensive when I unbraided my hair? I did it because there was a chance that Beorn might recognize me better with my curls. There are tales of skin changers who were our protectors before the wandering days, but no one remembers now what caused them, so it was a bit of a gamble on my part."

He scowled at this news before pushing it aside to contemplate at a different time. "No, not at all, what makes you think that? And what's the favor that you need?"

She hesitated, trying to find the right words. "At dinner tonight, you seemed rather antsy. So I wondered if I had done something inadvertently very offensive and you were trying to figure out how to tell me. And would you mind braiding my hair again, it was really nice to get it out of my face."

He led her over to a low rock and had her sit. As he worked on sorting out her unruly locks, he said, "No, you didn't do anything wrong. I just have a lot on my mind is all. How did your afternoon with Dori go?"

They chatted for several minutes while he set her hair to rights, mainly her talking and him only inserting a word here and there. Finally he finished and moved so that he was standing in front of her. Running her hands over the braids, she could tell that it was the same one that he had done before. She smiled up at him and thanked him. This seemed to firm some resolution in his mind and he told her to stay put.

She watched curiously as he strode away from her determinedly, making his way through the garden, pausing here and there to grab a flower before continuing. It only took a minute, maybe two, before he was standing before her with a bouquet in his hands. Taking a deep breath, he held the flowers out to her. She reached out and took them, wondering what in the world had come over the normally calm and composed dwarf. He was staring at her intently, his eyes filled with a multitude of emotions as he waited for something.

Tearing her eyes away from his, she looked down and examined the flowers carefully. She blushed when she realized that these were all flowers that a hobbit would use when wanting to pursue courtship. The bouquet contained flowers that said true love, faithfulness, companionship, hope, and happiness. She looked up at him and stuttered, "D..d..do you k..know what t..these mean?" She hated the stutter but she couldn't help it.

His expression determined yet tender, he nodded, "Yes, Bella. I know and I mean every bit."

Swallowing hard, she stood and handed the bouquet back to him. "I'm sorry, Fili. No."

She turned and fled from him, back into the house and to the room that the dwarves had set aside for her.

* * *

Bella set aside the pen and sighed. If she had stuck to her resolve and stayed with no, would it have prevented her heartache? She tucked a stray curl behind her ear even as she sighed again. By the time he asked her, it was far too late to save her heart. Somehow, without her realizing it, he had managed to steal it entirely from her. And the fact that he had dragged Ori around to learn about hobbit courtship and the flower language warmed her heart. 

She could feel a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Now that she was looking back, she could see that his antics during dinner had been nerves and not disapproval like she had thought. She had never thought that a prince would fall in love with her. But then again, she'd never expected to go on an adventure either. As she rose to take care of her daily chores, she mused that it was funny the paths that life took you on.

* * *

Fili had been quiet and withdrawn all morning. They had left Beorn's fairly early, their packs generously filled with extra rations. What had startled Fili was that Beorn told him to bring little bunny with him next time that they visited. When Fili had looked at him in surprise, there was a knowing light in Beorn's eyes before he turned and loped away. The dwarf had decided to stay quiet for reasons that he wasn't entirely sure of.

It was almost noon when Kili called him on his behavior. "What's got you in a sulk, nadad?"

Fili reached up absently and touched his jacket over where the sketch was, his eyes distant. "Why do you say that I'm sulking?"

Kili rolled his eyes, "You haven't said more than a handful of words all morning and you look like your favorite knife broke. So what gives?"

Fili sighed, his heart aching and he finally let his uncertainty show, "I had another dream last night."

Kili grinned widely at him, "That's good, right? What was it about?"

"We had reached Beorn's house and he gave us leave to rest there while he ascertained whether or not our story was true. After the goblin tunnels and Azog, I didn't want to waste any more time, so I talked to Ori about hobbit courting. It was after dinner and I took her for a stroll. It was going so well and we were safe and well fed and out of danger for the moment. So I asked if I could court her."

Kili's eyes widened, knowing what a serious step this was for Fili. "What did she say?"

His hands tightening on the reins, his voice was small as he said, "She said no."


	19. Courtship revisited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story had been rather angsty lately, so here's some fluff and sweetness for you :)

Fili rode the rest of the day in silence, his expression distant. He would answer when spoken to, but kept his answers short and simple. Kili did his best to warn off most of them and eventually the rest of the group seemed to realize that he needed some space. They stopped early that night and set up camp. Fili sat apart from the rest of them, lost in thought.

Kili tried to bring him dinner but Fili turned him away. His heart was aching and his thoughts were spinning rapidly. He had gone over his memories and dreams again and again. Everything seemed to indicate that they were growing closer, had he somehow mistaken it? He couldn't see how, every sign had pointed to a closeness between them, a growing affection and attraction. The pain of the rejection by his One was overwhelming.

Finally, he forced himself to go to sleep. Maybe his dreams would hold the answers.

* * *

After a hearty dinner, Bella made her way to the den and settled before the roaring fire. She tucked her mother's favorite shawl around her shoulder, absently wishing that her mother was there so that she could talk to her, ask her advice about how to move on. However, her mother had always taught her to cherish love, whether it lasted for only a season or for a life time. However, her parents had both only loved one person, having fallen hard even though it had taken her father a while to persuade her mother to take a chance on him. They had been madly in love and quite happy, even through the ups and downs of life.

Carefully sketching the bouquet that Fili had offered her, she couldn't help but smile. It looked like she had taken after both of her parents. She knew that Fili was it for her. If he never regained his memories of her, she would live the rest of her life alone. The thought didn't sadden her like it had before the quest. She had known what true love was and she wasn't willing to settle for anything less. And she was ok with that.

* * *

Bella had tossed and turned most of the night, unable to sleep, her thoughts whirling through her mind. She had never thought that Fili might be coming to care for her like she had come to care for him. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought that she would ever catch the eye of someone like him. It didn't even matter that he was a prince, well, it did but it didn't. No, he was a brave, strong, handsome man that cared deeply for others and would do anything for those he cared for. He had a great sense of humor and he listened, truly listened, to her when she spoke. 

She tried to push it out of her mind, but every time she almost succeeded, his face would flash through her mind as she handed him back the bouquet. He had looked lost, so lost in that moment. And his eyes. They said that the eyes are the window to the soul. And from the look in his eyes, she had just managed to singlehandedly break his heart. But this was for the best. She was not what he needed, even if he thought that he did.

She finally gave up on sleeping shortly after dawn. After listening closely at the door, she decided that none of the dwarves were awake. She slipped out of her room, using all of her stealth. The sound of steady snoring reached her ears and she used it to calm herself and even out her heart beat. She slipped into the sew room and grabbed the outfits that they had cut out but not started sewing the night before. Bundling them and the sewing supplies that she needed, she made her way silently into the main room. There, she froze against the wall as she studied the still figures strewn across the room. When none of them stirred, she tiptoed across the room, holding her breath until she made it out the door.

Once outside, she let out a quiet exhale. She'd been certain that any moment one of them would stir and demand to know where she was off to. She didn't know, except for away. Away where she could work and where Fili's eyes might stop haunting her for a little bit. Standing in the early morning sunlight, she took a deep breath, then another. Gradually her pounding heart calmed down and she started walking.

She wanted, no needed, to be alone for a little while. The company meant well, but she needed time and space to come to terms with what had happened and how she was going to move forward, how she was going to salvage her friendship with Fili. That left the stables out, as the animals would all be in there. The house was also out because the company would probably spend most of the day indoors, repairing their gear, either there or in the yard directly outside. The garden was definitely out, for obvious reasons. She wanted to stay near the house so she could hear if they called for her but not so close that they could see her easily. That left her with one of the nearby fields as her best bet.

She ended making her way to the clover field, going about halfway into in and sitting down. As with everything else in this area, the clover was unnaturally large and when she sat, it came up over her head. She let out a sigh of relief, settling herself more comfortably. With the sewing, at least her hands would be busy, which had always helped her to think when she was trying to sort out a difficult problem.

* * *

It was mid-morning when Kili approached her. She tensed when she realized that he had found her. However, he didn't say a word, just sat down next to her and offered her a cup of coffee. Setting her sewing down on her lap, she hesitantly took the coffee. When she took a small sip, he reached into his jacket and pulled out a napkin, passing it to her. When she unwrapped it, she found several sweet rolls. She looked at him curiously.

He said quietly, "You missed breakfast."

She nodded her thanks and nibbled on one of the rolls. She offered them wordlessly to him, but he shook his head. She managed to eat two and half of a third before her stomach refused to accept any more. Draining the last of the coffee, she handed the mug back to him. He took it and held it for a moment before setting it aside. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, resting his chin on it, and just watched her.

She picked up her sewing, trying to avoid his gaze. She wasn't used to seeing the young archer so serious, no laughter in his dark eyes. He finally said, his voice low, "What's going on, Bella? Talk to me. Please."

She sighed, "Kili, I don't."

He cut her off, "Fili told me that you turned him down. I'm not judging you for that. However, Fili is hurting right now. And from what I've learned of you over the time we've traveled together, I believe that you are too. You don't have to shoulder this burden alone, let me help you. Talk to me."

Her hand fisted in the shirt she was sewing and she said softly, "You should be with Fili, not with me."

"No, I'm where I'm supposed to be. Fili understands that too. He really does care for you, you make him happy. But more than anything he wants you to be happy. So talk to me, tell me what's troubling you."

His sincerity broke down her walls and she found the words just escaping her. "It would never work. Fili and I, we would never work. There's too much that separates us. I know that he's hurting right now and so am I, but it's for the best."

"Best for who, Bella? What's holding you back?"

She sucked in a deep breath, "There are several reasons, Kili. We come from different worlds, your brother has responsibilities. I won't tie him to me, not when he has so much life ahead of him."

Kili's eyes lightened with understanding and he nodded. "I know that you have your reasons but you need to talk to Fili. At least let him know why. He won't hold it against you. I promise you that."

He shifted his gaze to over her shoulder. She turned her head, but she already knew what she'd see. Sure enough, Fili was standing there, a pleading expression on his face. She looked away, back down at the sewing in her lap. 

Kili said quietly, "If you're really not ready to talk, he'll go. But I think that you two need to talk before this starts to fester."

She could see the rational in that, so she nodded quietly and motioned for Fili to sit down. The blond prince did as she said, moving slowly forward until he was in front of her. He sat down hesitantly and faced her, his movements unsure. Kili stood up, ignoring her pleading expression. "I'll keep the others away. And Bella?" He waited until she met his eyes. "Any time you want to stop, just say so. You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

She nodded her thanks before breaking eye contact with him. Kili rested his hand on Fili's shoulder briefly before heading back to the house. Bella contemplated getting up and running after him. However, she knew that he was right and it was better to face this matter head on. She also played with the idea of hiding behind her work but knew that she needed to focus completely on the conversation. Fili deserved at least that much from her. With that in mind, she gathered up all of her sewing and set it neatly aside.

Finally, she could stall no more. Taking a deep breath, she looked up and met his eyes. His eyes were wary, his shoulders hunched slightly inward. He looked as if he had gotten as much sleep as she had. Her heart went out to him and she found herself softening. She managed to dredge up a small smile. "Rough night?" He looked down briefly before meeting her gaze again. She whispered, "I'm sorry, Fili."

He sighed and spoke, his voice low, "I'm sorry too, I never meant to pressure you."

She shook her head, "You didn't pressure me, never believe that, Fili."

His expression was determined and he ran a hand through his hair as he tried to chose his words carefully. Swallowing hard, he said, "You said no and I respect that. But I want to know why, Bella. Why do you believe that we wouldn't work. I want to discuss the reasons both for and against a relationship between us. At the end, if you're still against courtship, I won't bring it up again. But I want to know what you're thinking, what you're feeling. And I want you to know the same for me."

She took a deep breath, steeling herself. "Very well, you deserve at least that much."

Gratitude washed over his face and he settled himself more comfortably on the ground. She waited for him to go first. His first question was one that she didn't anticipate. "Did I imagine that there might be something more between us? Is there someone waiting for you in the Shire?"

She blinked slowly, having to take a moment to process the question. Feeling her cheeks heat slightly, she said, "No, it's true that I have come to, care deeply for you. But I never imagined that you might return them. As far as anyone waiting for me in the Shire, there's no one." She hated herself for asking but couldn't stop herself. "What about you? Anyone waiting for you back in Ered Luin?"

The tension in his shoulders had eased when she admitted that there was no one waiting for her. He shook his head, "No, there's no one. I wouldn't offer courtship if there were."

She grimaced, "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

He offered her a half smile, "It's all right. I have nothing to hide. Your turn."

She wanted to play dumb but knew that she couldn't do it. So she started off with the most obvious obstacle, "You're a dwarf, I'm a hobbit."

He shook his head, "There's nothing taboo about a relationship between hobbits and dwarves. Also, Mahal who is our maker is the one that you call Aule."

Her eyes widened at this news. "Your maker is the Smith? The Lady Yavanna's husband?"

He nodded, "If our makers live happily as husband and wife, why shouldn't their children?"

She gestured for him to ask his next question. He thought it over for a minute before asking, "Did I say something wrong with the bouquet?"

Bella shook her head, "It was a beautiful bouquet, I couldn't have asked for a better one. But this won't work out between us. You're a prince, you have a duty to your people. What would your people think of a hobbit as queen?"

He gazed at her, "It's true that I'm the crown prince and heir to the throne. But no one has the right to dictate whom I pursue a relationship with. To get between a dwarf and the one that he wishes to court is one of the deepest taboos of our race. Besides, there are a lot of other things that might happen before I even become king. Thorin might marry and have children, we could fail to reclaim Erebor, any other number of things. If it's one thing that we've learned since Smaug came, nothing in the future is ever certain."

She flinched at the thought of the quest failing or any of the other things that he had mentioned. She said, "Is it even a good idea to try a pursue a relationship with Smaug looming over us?"

He reached out and gently took her hand and she let him. "Every day is a gift. If the worst should happen, I would rather spend as much time as possible with you rather than shy away for fear of the future. I want to take a chance on us, see where it goes."

She studied his face, frowning slightly, "Why me, Fili? You are brave, strong, handsome. You are deeply loyal, have a core of honor that is pure mithril, a born leader. I am a spinster with no prospects, the only suitors I've had have only wanted to court me for my money, Bag End, or my family name. I know that I am no beauty by dwarven standards, bootless and beardless as I am. I'm barely passably pretty by hobbit standards. I'm too adventurous for a Baggins, too staid for a Took. You could have your pick of women. So why me?"

He frowned but his eyes were tender. "Oh Bella, who has been feeding you such lies? You are so much more than you believe. You have more heart than anyone I know. You left your home and everything behind to help thirteen total strangers. You are brave. Look at how you faced down the trolls in order to buy us time or how you faced Lord Elrond in Rivendell. How you stepped between Thorin and Azog. You are caring. You spend time with each and every one of the company, making sure that we are ok. You learned iglishmek for Bifur, cook with Bombur, listen to Gloin, stand watch with Dwalin, and many more things besides. You are bafflingly forgiving. The first night we met, after the stone giants, on top of Carrock. When we talk, you listen, you really listen and I feel like you truly see me. As for looks."

He reached out, his fingers just barely brushing over her hair, "Your hair is the envy of any dwarf, curls of spun bronze and gold with hints of fire." He traced a fingertip under her eye, "Eyes that shimmer and shine like the finest of emeralds and that show so many emotions." He cupped her cheek and rubbed his thumb over her cheekbone. "You may not have a beard, but when you're excited, angry, or embarrassed, your cheeks shine with rubies."

She could feel her cheeks heating up under his warm gaze and she protested softly, "Fili."

He smiled at her, "Yes, those are the rubies that I'm talking about. If you're this embarrassed, I won't continue on about your lips, your singing, or your dancing. I even find your feet adorable with their tiny, fuzzy curls."

She protested louder this time, "Fili!"

This caused him to grin cheekily, "All right, I'll behave. What else?"

She sighed, circling around to the true reason behind her reluctance, although all of her protests had been valid. Reaching up, she pulled his hand from her cheek and cradled it gently in both of hers. "Fili, I'm a hobbit, you're a dwarf."

His expression turned puzzled, "I thought that we had already covered this?"

"You're not understanding what I'm saying. Hobbits have a much shorter life span than dwarves. If we're lucky, we live to a hundred, a hundred and twenty at most. You're still a young dwarf. I don't want you to live nearly half of your life alone."

He brought his other hand up and shifted their hands so that hers were cradled in his. "I don't care. I just want to be with you. Besides, I could die and you could live. As I said earlier, the future is not promised to us. All I know is that I want to spend whatever future I have with you. Please, Bella, take a chance on me, a chance on us. I will do my best to make sure that you are always happy and well cared for. I will protect you, keep you safe. Just take a chance and trust in us."

Her heart melted at the sincerity and warmth in his gaze. He was right, anything could happen in their future. Why not take a chance on happiness? She offered him a tremulous smile, "All right. I accept your offer of courtship."

His heart in his eyes, he brought her hand up and kissed her knuckles tenderly. He breathed, "You won't regret this, I promise."

A thought suddenly occurred to her, "What about Thorin?"

He absently ran his thumb back and forth over her knuckles, "What about Thorin?"

"Despite recent events, I get the feeling that he doesn't like me very much."

"Uncle has a heavy burden on his shoulders. It's not that he doesn't like you, he's just worried about you." She started to speak but he continued. "However, if it makes you feel better, I spoke with him about how I was planning on offering you courtship and he gave me his blessing."

She relaxed at hearing that. She asked curiously, "So how do we go about courtship?"

He said thoughtfully, "How do hobbits court?"

She shrugged, "Well, they offer a bouquet to initiate courtship. After that, the couple will go on walks and talk to get to know one another. They will also share meals to show off their culinary skill and show how he can provide for her." She offered him a shy smile, "You could almost say that we've already been doing that on the journey so far. When I gave you the blackberries the other day, it could be construed as a courting offer. And by offering me a berry back, you were saying that you returned the interest."

His eyes lit up at that, "So that's why you were blushing. I did wonder about that. So we've covered hobbit courting, that's good. For dwarves, we usually initiate courtship with a gift that shows how we see the one that we wish to court."

It was her turn to interrupt, "In that case, I would definitely count the bouquet. It was both thoughtful and beautiful. After that?"

He gestured at their hair, "Next I'll braid in a braid in both of our hair to show our status as a courting couple. Over the next several months, it's my duty to prove to you that I can protect and provide for you and any children that we might have. We would also go on strolls to get to know each other. I would also make you several gifts as examples of my craft. If, after several months of this, I have proven myself to you and your family, then we can start moving on to betrothal talks."

She held up a hand, feeling a little overwhelmed, "Let's just stick with courting and see where that takes us. What else?"

"It allows us a few more liberties. We can groom each other's beard and braids, hold hands, and occasionally if we're very lucky and can escape our chaperones, I can steal a chaste kiss or two." He winked roguishly at her and she laughed.

She teased, "I can see that I'm going to have to be on my guard against you." He pouted at that and she laughed again. "All right, go ahead and do our braids. Then we had better head back and let the others know. They're nosier than hobbits, I swear. Also, I'm starving and it's nearly lunch time."

He pressed another kiss to the back of her hand and murmured, "As my lady commands."

* * *

Bella smiled as she set her pen aside, a mixture of happiness and sadness welling up inside her. She had been worried about so many things. Fili had been right to seize the moment. She could've never predicted the way that things would actually end up turning out. However, she was glad that he had fought for their relationship, fought for her. This time was one of the happiest in her life and she would cherish it until she passed on to the gardens.

Rising to make her way to bed, she sent a silent prayer to Yavanna to watch over Fili wherever he was. Even though time, distance, and circumstances had separated them, she was glad that he had talked her into changing her mind. Glad that he had convinced her to take a chance on them.

* * *

Fili woke up and stared at the stars above him, relief flooding through him. Bella hadn't rejected him after all, she was trying to protect him in her own way. However, his words were as true now as they had been then. He'd rather spend as much time with her as he could then waste their future on fears of what if. Besides, the worst had already happened. Somehow, somewhere, he had lost her. He still didn't know how or why, but the latest dream had given him hope.

His stomach chose that moment to grumble its hunger. He sighed but rose to dig some jerky out of his pack. Kili happened to be on watch and he made his way over. He frowned and asked, "Bad dream, Fee?"

Fili shook his head, "No, another soul one."

Kili asked hesitantly, "Did she explain why she turned you down?"

Fili smiled softly, "We talked. She was scared, Kee, and trying to protect me in the best way that she could. She didn't understand that when a dwarf falls in love, he falls fiercely. After we talked, I could see that she was still uncertain, but she agreed to court me. It gives me hope."

Kili let out a relieved sigh and gently squeezed his brother's shoulder. "That's good news. Try to get some sleep, you have the last watch." He turned and made his way back to his lookout spot.

Fili quickly ate enough to quiet his stomach before making his way back to his bedroll. If he was lucky, he might get another glimpse of her before it was his turn to take watch. A dwarf could hope anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter - Beorn returns, routes are planned, and Bella decides that she really, really doesn't like spooky forests.


	20. Calm before the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this time, but necessary to move the story forward.

Kili woke him for last watch and Fili sighed. He hadn't had any dreams of Bella, but he'd known that the likelihood of getting a second dream was slim to none. He nodded to Kili and moved his way over to the look out spot. He breathed in the crisp air, using it to center himself. He had no actual memories of Bella outside of the dreams, but he ached for her. Everything he saw about her in his dreams only intrigued him and made him want to know her more. Even if she hadn't been his One, he would've been content to spend the rest of his life with her and he knew that he would never love another.

Pulling out both sketches, he allowed himself to study her picture briefly before tucking it back away with a sigh. He was on guard duty and he couldn't afford to be distracted. He then unfolded the bracelet sketch. As he traced a finger over the design gently, his fingers suddenly itched to draw. Digging into his pocket, he found the pencil that he'd stowed away.

Settling the sketch on his knee and keeping his other senses attuned to their surroundings, he started to draw. This charm took longer than the others had, the amount of fine detailing beyond anything he'd ever done before. Finally he was satisfied and lifted the pencil to examine the charm. There, in perfect miniature, was the bouquet that he'd offered her for courtship. He was slightly puzzled, he had expected a bear for Beorn, but decided that this was the perfect one. After all, that was the point where their relationship had taken a turn from quest companions to something more. Yes, the bouquet was perfect.

* * *

Bella had forced herself to spend the morning planning her garden for the spring. She was become a bit obsessed with writing about the quest, reliving it in her memories. That wasn't a healthy way to cope and it wasn't helping her get over Fili. It just made her yearn for him all the more. If he had been there, he would've gently teased her from her increasingly dark mood, reassuring her that everything was going to be all right.

But he wasn't there, so she forced herself to keep her attention on her work, only to give up in disgust when she realized that she was just planting flowers from Fili's bouquet. And wouldn't that make all the old biddies around Hobbiton cluck when they saw the message. It would be the opposite of lying low.

With a scowl, she pushed her planning aside and put on the kettle for her headache tea. The headache was just beginning to tease the edges of her temples but she knew that if she didn't head it off quickly, it would soon become a full blown migraine. 

While it brewed, she quickly put away her garden planning and pulled out the quest book. Flipping through it, she was a little surprised to find that it was over halfway filled already. Taking a sip of the tea and sighing at the bitter taste of willow bark contrasting with the sharp zing of lemon zest and the soothing sweetness of honey, she slowly reread what she had written last.

Once she was satisfied that she knew where she'd last left off, she started to write.

* * *

It had taken Fili very little time to weave her courtship braid, pulling a bead out of one of his pockets to clasp it with. She ran her fingers curiously over the braid and drew the end up so she could examine the bead closely. It was a wooden bead, intricately carved and polished to a warm golden finish. She had no idea what the runes on it said, but there were also delicate flowers carved masterfully into it.

As she marveled at the craftsmanship, Fili said quietly, "I'm sorry that it's only a wooden one. I'll craft you a real one when we reach Erebor."

She blinked at him, puzzled. "What do you mean? This is absolutely gorgeous." Something suddenly occurred to her. "This isn't something that you just happened to make up after the goblin tunnels. This took time and attention to detail. How long have you been working on this?"

He flushed slightly, looking both pleased and embarrassed. He admitted slowly, "I started that first night in Rivendell, the night you wore your mother's dress. However, I knew that it was too soon to even think about courting, especially with the quest and everything. Still, I'm glad, otherwise I'd have to use one of mine to clasp your braid while I crafted you a bead."

He looked a bit torn as he realized this, as if he would've liked to see his bead in her hair but at the same time wanting something special and unique for her. She giggled at his expression, her heart lightening for the first time in twenty-four hours. She reached out and brushed her hand gently over his cheek, tracing his blush. "I think it's beautiful. Now, what about your braid?"

He grinned shyly at her, "I can do that."

She shook her head firmly, "Unless it's taboo, I want to do it. Just tell me how." 

She shoved the bundle of sweet rolls into his hands and climbed to her feet. His stomach grumbled so he munched absently on one of the rolls as he carefully instructed her how to make the braid. She worked slowly but with increasing confidence as she went. Finally she reached the end and offered it to him. He took it, clasping one of his spare beads on it. Once he was satisfied that the bead was on firmly, he ran his fingers carefully over it, one corner of his mouth quirking up in a pleased grin. "It feels just right."

She let out a sigh of relief. "That's good. Now, you promised me food and it sounds like you could use some as well. Didn't you eat either?"

He shrugged, climbing to his feet. "Wasn't hungry. So what do you want to tell the others?"

He reached out and offered her his hand and she slipped hers into it. "These braids tell that we're courting, right?" He nodded. "Well then, since you said that you have Thorin's blessing, I say that we don't tell them anything. I'm sure that they can figure it out on their own."

He laughed at that. "That's true. C'mon then."

They made their way back over to the house and entered to find lunch underway. Kili was watching the door anxiously and studied them closely when they walked through the door. When he saw their joined hands and matching braids, he let out a sigh of relief before grinning widely. He shot them a discreet thumbs up before turning his attention back to his meal.

Bella muttered quietly to Fili, "How long will his restraint last, do you suppose?"

Fili rolled his eyes, "Since he was really worried about you and me and the fact that uncle most likely lectured him to stay out of our courtship, until the end of lunch?"

She laughed and let his hand go, making her way over to the bench. He pouted slightly but followed her. They quickly filled their plates and sat, talking about their plans for the rest of the day. The others at the table discreetly nudged one another and grinned, passing money bags back and forth, but didn't say anything for which Bella was grateful.

After lunch was over, she went to go with Dori, only to realize that she had left her sewing out in the clover. She turned pleading eyes on Fili and he sighed but turned and trudged out of the house. She grinned and followed Dori to the room that they had used the day before. She looked around in amazement as she saw the amount of work left to do. Dori had managed to finish the majority of the work, only small tasks were left, hems and buttonholes. The tailor would also undoubtedly add in some dwarven embroidery as well.

She started to apologize but he cut her off. "Nothing to apologize for, lass. Matters of the heart are heavy business. But it looks like you and the prince have sorted things out between you." He raised his brow curiously.

She smiled at the mithril haired dwarf. "For now, yes. Now, tell me what I can do."

Fili chose that moment to return with the bundle of clothing that she had left outside. She took it from him with a quiet thanks, checking it over thoroughly to check for any stains. She moved absently deeper into the room and Fili made to follow but Dori blocked his way. "No, your highness. No idlers here." Fili looked at him pleadingly and Dori caved slightly. "You may come in but you have to earn your keep as a storyteller. If you should bore us or distract her, out you go, understand?"

He nodded his understanding and Dori moved aside to let him enter. The three of them spent a pleasant afternoon together, all of the new outfits quickly coming together. They finished up just before dinner, only a few last bits of flourishes for Dori to finish up on his own. Bella was amazed that they had managed to outfit the entire company with new clothes. 

Leaving Dori to it, they made their way back towards the main room. Bella asked, "How much longer do you think that we'll stay here?"

Fili shrugged, "Until Beorn gets back, then we'll probably leave in the next day or so. Although we're doing all right on time, Durin's Day is coming so we need to keep moving."

Right then, the booming voice of their host reached their ears. "Well, it sounds like our host is back. Let's go see what he has to say."

They reached the main room to see Beorn holding court, his expression brimming with mirth and good humor. Apparently their story had checked out and that fact put Beorn in a downright jovial mood. When Beorn saw her, he cried, "Little bunny, come join us! The wizard spoke truly and I have verified this with my own eyes. Tell me, have you been enjoying your stay here?"

She smiled at him, "Your home is lovely and your hospitality has been beyond reproach."

He boomed, "Good, good. When you and the rest leave I'll make sure that you're fully supplied and even have ponies to ride to Mirkwood. After all, anyone who can take out the Great Goblin deserves help. Come and eat! Tonight, we celebrate!"

And that's what they did. They ate and laughed and after dinner the company all dragged out their instruments and they danced. Bella was passed from partner to partner until she was dizzy with laughter. A few times during the evening, she saw Thorin, Gandalf, and Beorn all talking seriously. But after everything that had happened over the last several days, the enemies, fights, and injuries, it was nice just to relax and blow off some steam. Her braid brushed her cheek and she blushed slightly, not to mention all of the emotional upheaval as well. Tonight, her family was all together and in one piece, they were happy, and her future was suddenly looking much brighter than she had previously thought.

She looked up and caught Fili's eye from where she was sitting on the side catching her breath. She smiled brightly at him and he grinned back at her, then he turned and walked away. Before she could puzzle out what was going on, he was back carrying a mug of something. Sitting next to her, he offered it to her. She took it and cautiously sipped, only to discover cool water. She gratefully drained the mug and then leaned her head on his shoulder, relaxing into him. She murmured quietly, "It's nice, to see everyone so happy. I wish that it could always be like this."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and leaned his head on top of hers. "Soon, ghivashel, soon. Once we reclaim the Arkenstone, we can raise an army to defeat Smaug and take back our home. Erebor's halls will once again be filled with dancing and music, the sound of anvil and hammer clanging as dwarves ply their craft, love and laughter and Mahal willing, the happy sounds of children. That is my dream, our dream, that is what we are fighting for."

She smiled, "That's a beautiful dream. I'm glad that I get to be a part of it."

He admitted, "You've become a large part of it. My dream doesn't work if you're not there. Not anymore."

She said softly, the music almost drowning out her words, "I feel the same. It scares me a little, how deeply I feel for you. I mean, we've just barely started courting, I've only known you for a brief amount of time."

His arm tightened fractionally and his voice deepened, "I think that we've been courting since the night that we met, this just made it official. And I've been looking for you my entire life. When I'm with you, I'm at peace."

She felt her heart melt from his sweet words. Knowing that she would do something foolish if she sat there any longer, such as kissing him senseless in front of the entire company and not even caring, she jumped to her feet. He frowned but she just grinned tenderly at him, "C'mon, let's dance. If you keep talking like that I'm going to kiss you and then poor Master Dori would be scandalized."

He sighed but gave her a lopsided smile, "Well, when you put it that way." He stood and bowed gallantly before sweeping her into the spirited reel that Bofur was playing.

* * *

The celebration lasted long into the night, so the company was slow to gather the next morning. When everyone had finally assembled, Thorin informed them that they would be leaving early the next day. When Bella questioned him, respectfully, about his wounds from the warg and whether or not he should be traveling, he grudgingly informed her that that was the reason that they weren't leaving until the next day.

Sensing that that was a sore subject with the proud dwarf, she quickly offered to help Oin replenish his kit with herbs. The medic eagerly accepted her help, wanting to learn more about hobbit medicine and what worked for them and didn't. Oin also added slyly, "Best for me to learn as much as I can where it looks like ye'll be staying afterwards, lassie."

She grinned cheekily at him and winked and the whole table burst out into laughter and teasing. She bore it with good grace, having honestly expected it the day before. Even Thorin threw out a couple of cheeky jabs, leading her to believe that Fili had been truthful when he'd said that his uncle had given his blessing. Finally she laughingly fled the table and spend the rest of the day gathering herbs with Oin while the rest of the company worked on repairing what gear that they did have left.

They turned in early that night and were up with the dawn. Beorn was there to see them off and Bella was actually sad to say goodbye to him. She had woken before the dawn and had slipped out into the garden to make a special gift, something to thank him for his hospitality and his generosity. After his initial reluctance, he had turned out to be an outstanding host. She knew that he was lonely but she knew that he wouldn't be comfortable around other people any more. So she promised herself that she would come back and visit occasionally if she could.

So when they prepared to leave, she shyly came forward, hiding her gift behind her. Beorn knelt in front of her and smiled sadly, "Are you sure that you don't want to stay a little longer, little bunny?"

She smiled at him and said softly, "They need me. If I can, I will come back and see you again. Until then, I wish you all health and happiness." She pulled out the flower crown she had made and offered it to him.

He studied it, seemingly reading her message for him of friendship, health, and peace. Reaching out, he took it from her and solemnly placed it on his head. "My thanks, little bunny. I look forward to seeing you again someday."

He stood and moved away, warning the company to release the ponies as soon as they reached Mirkwood. His words sounded ominous to Bella, but she tried to push her worries down. Surely the dwarves had traveled through Mirkwood before and would know what to expect. Although being told to not stray off the path made her nerves tighten as well. What exactly was in these woods?

However, as they rode, Fili and Kili's teasing caused her to relax and set her laughing. The halt had been good for them, allowing them to rest and regain their spirits. Plus between the eagles, Beorn, and heading straight into Mirkwood, the chances of the orcs catching up to them were slim. The tensions in the rest of the dwarves had eased as well and once she even caught Dori chuckling discreetly at a sly joke that Nori told. 

The good mood lasted all the way until the edge of Mirkwood. It was late afternoon when they reached the edge of Beorn's lands and hit the edge of Mirkwood. Gandalf looked spooked when he saw the statue. He told them that he had other matters that he had to attend to and grew agitated when Thorin questioned him. Bella eyed him closely but deemed it to be wizard business unrelated to them. He repeated Beorn's warning to stay on the path and then he was gone.

Thorin's good mood instantly soured and Bella didn't know if it was due to Gandalf leaving them or proximity to the forest that housed one of his greatest enemies. The absolute disgust and hatred in his voice every time he even spoke of Thranduil made it clear his opinion of the elf. Balin had taken pity on her and taken her aside to quietly explain a few things one day and she couldn't blame Thorin his anger, even though she didn't approve of it. That sort of anger consumed a person and just left them a shell of their former selves. However, from all that she knew about Thorin, from what she'd seen and heard, he'd taken his anger and transformed it into strength for his people. That was something that she could respect. Still, she wondered what would happen when they reclaimed Erebor and they weren't just struggling to survive anymore. Would he deal with his anger or would he become a bitter and haughty king. 

Sighing, she put such thoughts aside. That was a worry for another day, right now they had to unload the ponies and send them back to Beorn. Thorin told them to set up camp for the night, they'd enter the forest in the morning, before stalking away to brood majestically. Before Bella could dismount, Fili came over and lifted her from the saddle and swung her around once before setting her on her feet. She grinned up at him and said laughingly, "Thank you, kind sir. I'd forgotten how tiresome riding can be."

He chuckled, "Ah, but swifter by far than walking, fair lady."

Kili chose to walk by right at that moment and rolled his eyes, "Less flirting, more working. I want to be finished before dark."

Both Bella and Fili rolled their eyes but obediently separated and got to work. Bella was sad to see the ponies leave, something that she'd never thought she'd feel for the animals when she first dealt with them. However, Beorn was very fond of his animals and she knew that he was deeply unsettled by Mirkwood, so she sent them off with a word of thanks and set about making dinner.

Dwalin placed her on first watch, the easiest of the three. As she watched sparks from the fire disappear into the darkness, she idly wondered what the following day would bring.

* * *

Bella closed the book with a sigh. Staying at Beorn's was a pleasant interlude and it had done the entire company good. It was also the last untroubled patch of their journey. Someday, after some time had passed and the danger of running into dwarves returning to Erebor on the road had lessened, she would have to make good on her word and go visit Beorn. He was one of the world's unique beings and she had the feeling that he hadn't forgotten her when the others had.

That thought brought a smile to her face. Maybe that's what she would do, when she got tired of pretending to a normal life in Hobbiton and enough time had passed so that her disappearance wouldn't do more than make a small ripple in local gossip. Then, she would just quietly pack up one day and go live with Beorn. She could be happy there and then they both wouldn't be so lonely. Knowing that she had options suddenly made everything much more bearable.

Sighing, she rose to handle her chores. She could write about the shadows of Mirkwood another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating, had a test for my next belt in karate and was stressing/prepping for the last two weeks. Good news is that I passed and am now an advanced brown belt. Onward to black next.   
Also, did you guys see that Tolkien's son just passed away at 95? May he rest in peace.
> 
> Next chapter - Mirkwood (and possibly arachnids of unusual sizes, but no promises)


	21. Doom and Gloom

Fili stared at the Misty Mountains rising up ahead of them. The last time that they had passed through them went through his head and he sighed. He knew logically that the mountains were safer than they had been in years. Between the great goblin being cut down followed by the Battle of the Five Armies where many of their foes had been slain, the passes had never been safer. Add to that the many dwarven caravans traveling from Ered Luin to Erebor that had passed through the mountains and cleaned up any lingering pockets of nasties. The Misty Mountains were probably one of the safest places currently in Middle Earth.

However, he had nearly lost Bella three times in those mountains. Everything in him screamed at him to avoid them, that they were nothing but death. But the fact was that the Shire and Bella lay on the other side of the mountains. And he would move heaven and earth to get her back and he'd fight the Valar themselves to get her back if he had to. Dwalin seemed to sense his uneasiness and rode up next to him. He asked quietly, "Problems?"

Fili shook his head, "Old memories. Those mountains were dangerous to our group, it's a miracle that we all survived."

Remembering Fili's midnight meltdown, Dwalin had an inkling of what was most likely troubling the prince. "You've been having the dreams. If she headed back to the Shire, she would've been there months ago. That means that she made it through the mountains safely, lad. It was probably very easy for her to slip through them alone."

Dwalin's practical words helped ease the knot in Fili's chest. "You're right of course. However, until I know for sure that she's home and safe, I'll worry." He admitted in a low tone so that Kili wouldn't hear where he was talking with Tauriel several feet away. "I haven't had a dream since Beorn's though."

The guard captain just shrugged, "It's only been a few days. I wouldn't fret too much about it. Just means that you're due for one soon is all."

Fili said grimly, "I hope that you're right. Anyway, those mountains won't cross themselves. We'd better get moving if we hope to get over the pass before dark."

Dwalin nodded and left to get the others moving. Fili gave one last glance at the looming mountains before turning away and focusing on the company.

* * *

Bella put off writing for a few days, not wanting to relive the darkness of Mirkwood. However, she needed to write, to get out all of the things that were weighing her down and holding her back. Besides, she had promised to write down the entirety of the quest, the good and the bad. For how would you know what was good without the bad?

Finally, she could put it off no longer. She spent the morning making all of her favorite comfort foods and then brought them to the den where she constructed a comfortable fort, much like she had as a faunt when she played in there while her papa worked on his books. Only when everything was just so, warm and cozy and secure in direct defiance to the fat fluffy flakes falling slowly outside, did she open the journal and start writing.

* * *

Thorin had roused them before dawn, wanting to get through the forest as quickly as possible. Bella was extremely groggy, having slept poorly the night before. Bombur took pity on her and handed her a mug of coffee before shooing her out of the way of the others packing up their camp. By the time that she had woken up enough to realize what was going on, the camp had already been neatly packed up.

The packs that they were carrying were larger than the ones that they had before and were full to near bursting. There were two major reasons for this. One, they didn't have the ponies to carry additional supplies, so either they had to carry it or do without. Two, Beorn had warned them to neither eat or drink within Mirkwood's borders. This sounded ominous indeed to the hobbit lass. Weren't the elves supposed to be caretakers of the forest? What darkness was this then that it was neither safe to eat nor drink within the woods? That they couldn't stray from the path? She was beginning to think that these elves must differ drastically from Elrond. She just couldn't see the leader of Rivendell allowing such wrongs to linger near the haven.

Still, to be fair, she didn't know the circumstances of this area. It could even be that the dragon's proximity could have slowly poisoned the woods as well. She made a mental note to speak about that idea with Balin. Right then, Thorin called for them to move out so she put all thoughts of why Mirkwood would be the way it was aside. She looked up to find Fili standing expectantly in front of her. When she raised an eyebrow questioningly, he held his hand out wordlessly to her.

Remembering what he had said about dwarven courting, she willingly slid her hand into his. His hand was heavily calloused, doubtless from his many years of weapon training and forge work, but his grip was gentle. He smiled at her and they started off. They ended up in the middle of the group, something that Bella was relieved about. She didn't have the courage to enter the trees first, but she definitely didn't want to be the last one in the group either.

As it was, she was glad that Fili was holding her hand because she stumbled as soon as she crossed into Mirkwood. He steadied her absently and kept walking, not seeming to notice that anything was amiss. She was grateful because those few steps allowed her to regain control of herself and keep going. If she had stopped walking after that first step, she would've turned and fled the forest before her rational mind could've intervened. It would've been purely instinctual and there would've been nothing that she could've done about it.

Over the course of the journey, the dwarves had been both curious and baffled by her refusal to wear footwear of any kind. She had never been able to explain it to either her or their satisfaction. It was just part of who a hobbit was, putting it into words was difficult. Hobbits had been created by Yavanna and she had blessed them with a connection to green and growing things. That's why places where hobbits lived flourished. They could feel the needs of the earth around them and help it, the Shire was a prime example of what happened when hobbits tended nature like they were supposed to. She had heard a couple of the dwarves mention stone sense a time or two and had a feeling that the two gifts were similar.

So when she had stepped into Mirkwood, all of her senses screamed at her that the land was sick. There was a taint, a rot, in the land and it was growing. It was almost like the land was screaming for help, but no one could hear. She scanned the dwarves and noticed that they seemed to be mostly unaffected, only gripping their weapons a little bit closer. Silently apologizing to the forest for her inability to heal or help it, she inched closer to Fili. Fighting down a shudder of revulsion, she decided that she needed something to distract her from the forest's state before she started weeping.

Turning to Fili, she abruptly demanded that he tell her more about Ered Luin. Instead of appearing startled by her abrupt demand, he smiled at her briefly before looking back at the path. He started to do as she asked, telling her about the place that he'd grown up and called home all his life. His voice was deep and soothing and she found herself drawn into his tales. Her curiosity sparked, she asked him dozens of questions, all of which he answered patiently. Before she knew it, the morning had passed and turned into afternoon.

When he finally lapsed into silence, the worst of the forest's effects had faded. Although her skin still tingled unpleasantly, the sensation was faint and bearable. The nausea had also subsided and she was thankful that she hadn't thrown up all over Fili. Now there was a great way to win the heart of her suitor, not. Although it would be unpleasant, she would be able to make it through Mirkwood, although she would be drained entirely by the time that they managed to make it through. She just prayed that they would have enough time to let her rest and recover for a few days once they were out of this forest. She wouldn't mention that to Fili yet though, he would only fret about her if he knew the toll that the forest was going to take on her.

Thorin called for a short break right after noon, although they didn't eat, needing to preserve their supplies until they were out of Mirkwood. After the break was over, Fili offered her his hand again. She shook her head for two reasons. One, she would need to get used to dealing with this forest on her own, he wouldn't be able to hold her hand throughout the entire forest. Two, just because they were courting didn't mean that they had to spend every moment with each other. She wasn't a jealous, possessive woman that had to be with her boyfriend every moment of the day.

She said quietly, "Go ahead with Kili, I'm just going to walk with Balin for a little while."

She didn't notice the way his face fell, although he obediently went over to his brother. They immediately put their heads together and started talking animatedly. She smiled at the sight. She especially wouldn't come between brothers. They had been together ever since Kili was born and had done everything together. The past few days Fili had been spending almost all of his time with her. And while she was falling in love with Fili (or possibly even already in love with him), she had also found a close friend in Kili. She did want him to feel left out just because she and Fili had started courting. Someday, if everything went very well, he would be her brother as well. She had always wanted a sibling, although she had never expect a mischievous brother like Kili.

With one last glance at the two brothers and whatever is was that they were plotting, she went in search of Balin. She had some questions and she knew that he would be the one most likely to have the answers and the least likely to explode if she asked them.

* * *

It was after dark when Thorin finally called for a halt for the night. They had made good progress that day and although the path was in disrepair, it was still fairly easy to make out. They managed to gather enough wood for a fire, gathering it in pairs and making sure that they never strayed from sight of the rest of the group. Dinner was a quiet affair, no one really talking but neither were they nervous, just quiet and watchful. Dwalin arranged for them to watch in pairs as well and then ordered the rest of them to turn in.

Bella smiled at Fili but Thorin had been in a foul mood all day and she didn't want to draw his ire by going over and wishing Fili goodnight. So instead, she simply settled wordlessly into her bedroll and closed her eyes. The thin layer between her and the ground helped dull the forest enough that she was able to slip off to sleep, worn out from the long day and dealing with the forest's negative presence. Dwalin had not put her on watch and she got the feeling that he was taking the forest's measure before he would put a weak fighter on lookout duty. Keeping that in mind, she decided to get what rest she could while she could, she had the feeling that the next few weeks were going to be exhausting.

This set the tone for the next several days. She would spend the better part of the morning with Fili and then the afternoons with various members of the company. She was learning a lot about Fili and could feel herself growing closer to him and coming to admire him even more. However, the longer the company spent in Mirkwood, the more obvious it was wearing on their spirits. Each day they were a little quieter than the day before and there had even been some muttered grumbling, low enough for the others to not really hear. 

The problem was, it felt like something was watching them, but there were no signs of life in the forest other than little black squirrels that they could see in the distance and the eyes that watched them in the night. On the third night in, Dwalin had deemed it safe enough and added her in to the watch rotation. This cut into her uneasy sleep and she found herself getting more tired by the day.

It was a week after they had entered Mirkwood when Dwalin placed her and Fili on the second watch. She didn't think anything of it, she was sure that they would've eventually ended up on watch rotation together because of how Dwalin was trying to keep their strength up. However, from the moment they relieved Nori and Ori, Fili was antsy and edgy. He would sit for a minute or so before jumping up and doing a circuit of the camp.

By the third lap Bella knew that something serious was on his mind but hoped that he would tell her what it was. However, by the seventh lap it became abundantly clear that she would need to get whatever was bothering him out of him. She waited until he had finished his lap before catching his eye and patting the fallen log invitingly next to her.

He looked torn but did as she asked. He sat but looked like he would take off again, she she reached out and snagged his hand, weaving their fingers together. Keeping an eye on their surroundings, she murmured, "What's got you so agitated, dear heart?"

Her touch seemed to center him and he settled more on the log and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Finally he said slowly, "I guess that I'm confused."

She watched absently as a pair of eyes appeared and then disappeared moments later, "Confused about what?"

He gripped her hand a little bit tighter, "About our courtship."

She turned and frowned at him, "I thought that it was going well, that we're growing closer despite this benighted wood."

She could tell that he was picking his words carefully, "That's what I thought as well. But then you send me away and don't talk to me the rest of the day. I just don't understand."

It suddenly clicked in her mind, Fili was feeling unsure about her feelings. She bit back a grin, she thought that she had been the only one suffering from insecurity and doubt. Scooting a little bit closer, she rested her head briefly on his shoulder before straightening. They were on watch, after all. It wouldn't do for the company to get eaten because they were cuddling. She said softly, "Whatever it is that you're thinking, you're wrong."

His voice was low as he replied, "I just don't know what to think. Talk to me, Bella, let me know what you're thinking."

She asked instead, "How old were you when Kili was born?"

This was obviously not what he was expecting her to say. "I was five, why?"

She gestured at the rest of the sleeping company with her free hand, "And I think that it's safe to say that you've known the company for most if not all of your life?"

He nodded slowly, "That's true. Where are you going with this?"

"The company is your family. Just because we're courting doesn't mean that I want to separate you from your family. I would love to spend every moment of the day with you, but they deserve your time and attention too. I've been so alone since my parents died, only a few friends and family that I see every few months at most. I don't want you to become so focused on me that you lose them. That wouldn't be worth it to me. Also, if everything works out, someday Kili will be my brother as well. You two have been together his whole life. I don't want him to be suddenly excluded and left out just because you are courting me. It would break my heart if he felt this way and I don't want to create any anger or resentment between you two. As for why I don't speak to you in the evenings?" She shrugged, "Thorin has been rather tetchy lately and has been relying on you heavily, so I wanted to keep him from snapping at us. I figured that it was better to just keep things discreet until we're out of this cursed forest."

He huffed out a quiet laugh. He admitted quietly, "I've been imagining all sorts of things. When you said that you needed to speak with Balin, that you were looking for a way to break things off." He sighed. "For dwarves, courtship is a very intense time. We want to spend every moment that we possibly can together to woo and win them over. It is understood that the courting couple will be distant from friends and relatives as they beginning to craft something new together. But the fact that you care about my relationships with my family, that means a lot to me, ghivashel. I should've just talked to you instead of assuming." 

She smiled up at him, "I don't know about you, but this is my first time courting. I'm sure that there will be bumps. But I need you to come and talk to me if you're not sure about something. It's more than likely a cultural thing or something different from what you're thinking. And I need to talk to you as well." It was her turn to sigh. "Honestly, I keep waiting for you to tell me that you made a mistake and can we just be friends."

He rested his forehead on hers and offered her a tiny smile, "Never, amralime, never. Every thing that I learn about you just makes me want to get to know you even better. I want this to last forever, no matter how long it takes for us to get there."

She felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes, "You're a sweet talker, I see that I'm going to have to watch out for you."

He leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on her lips before quickly pulling back. He grinned at her, "Only with you, mizimel. Now I'd better pay attention to our surrounds because I'd hate for us to be eaten just when we straightened things out because I wasn't keeping an eye on our surroundings."

She muttered, "I'll be so glad when we're out of this place. I want to see the sun again, feel a breeze on my face, and not have to deal with creepy eyes watching us every night."

He shrugged, his expression resigned. "I think that we'll all be glad to see the last of it. Uncle says that it wasn't this bad years ago when they had to flee through it."

Seeing another set of eyes ignite and then disappear, she reluctantly released his hand. She didn't want to hinder him from fighting anything that decided to take them on. "How much longer do we have to go?"

Fili chewed on his lip, seeming to do some mental calculations. She could tell that he didn't want to say whatever was worrying him aloud, but she just waited patiently. He eventually admitted, "We should be about halfway through by now, but every day we travel a little slower, this place weighing on us. I don't think that we're as far as we should be. I'd hope that I'm mistaken, but I don't think that I am. So I'm thinking that maybe another two weeks. Three at the outside. Of course, that depends on whether or not we can keep from slowing down any farther and nothing happens to any of the company."

She straightened her spine. "That's not so bad. We can all withstand a few weeks more of this. We'll just have to keep the company's spirits up. After all, we've come so far already and the lonely mountain is just on the other side of these trees. We're almost there, we just have to hang on."

Neither of them mentioned the fact that there was a dragon waiting for them in the mountain. Bella was content to deal with one problem at a time and with the forest's drain on her energy, she didn't have enough to deal with the danger of Smaug. She'd cross that bridge when she got to it and hopefully it wouldn't be burnt behind her. Now, right now, she'd concentrate on getting herself and the company out of this dark and miserable forest.

* * *

Another week passed slowly, ever so slowly, in that interminable forest. There was nothing safe to eat and supplies were already starting to dwindle, so they were all hungry and irritable in addition to slogging through the oppressive wood. It was on the fourteenth day when they reached the dark river. If Beorn hadn't specifically warned them, they would've been tempted to drink it. They had been carefully rationing their water, but there were already many empty water skins. 

Bella looked longingly at the water, just wanting to through herself down and drink her fill. Taking a deep breath, she resolutely looked away. They were all thirsty and this river was more than likely as sick as the rest of this forest was. Although she had grown used to the forest's distress, it never went away. If that's what the water was like, then she truly didn't not want it.

To distract herself from her thirst, she moved away from the arguing dwarves and peered across the river, trying to see the path on the other side. The gloom was heavy, but what she thought that she saw excited her. She called, "Kili! Come here, quick!"

The young archer came over, Fili trailing frustratedly behind him. "What is it, Bella?"

"Can you see the boat on the other bank? Right there?" She gestured widely and Fili cautiously pulled her back a step from the riverbank.

Kili stared across the river and was finally able to spot it. He pointed it out to Fili and the talked back and forth in Khuzdul while Bella waited impatiently. Finally Fili strode away and fetched his pack, digging through it until he found an iron hook and a strong rope. Bringing it back over, he carefully marked the boat's position and then threw it. Kili had his hand fisted firmly in the back of her jacket while she leaned forward, trying to watch. A loud splash announced that he had missed the boat.

She said firmly, "You were almost there, just a little bit short. Try again."

Fili grimaced as he pulled back the rope and held it gingerly, but gamely tried it again. This time he threw it really hard and it overshot the boat. She let out a delighted cry. "You sent it just a little bit past it. Pull it gently and you should manage to hook it on the boat."

He did as she said, pulling slowly until it caught on the boat. He gave a sharp yank to anchor it and then a couple of gentle tugs to verify that it wouldn't come loose. Letting out a satisfied grunt, he motioned for Kili to come and help him. Even with both of them pulling, the boat didn't budge. Finally, Ori and then Gloin came over to help. Finally the boat pulled loose and came flying across the river. Thorin caught it right before it crashed into the bank, a grin on his face, the first that he'd worn since they'd entered Mirkwood.

He praised them and quickly sorted them into groups to cross the river. Bombur grumbled about having to go last, he was probably feeling the pinch of hunger worse than anyone else in their group, so Bella didn't take his harsh words to heart. The river crossing went smoothly, much to Bella's surprise and delight. However, she should've known that good luck never hung around the company long. 

The buck appeared and in the ensuing chaos, Bombur toppled into the water and the boat was lost. They managed to pull him out, but he was firmly asleep. Bella wished that she could ease Bofur and Bifur's pain, but only Bombur waking up would fix it. They managed to cobble together a litter for him from the empty packs, but the fact that their packs were low enough that they could be consolidated enough to make the litter was very concerning.

That night when they stopped for the evening, Bella ignored the rest of them and went over and stood in front of Fili. He wordlessly held open his arms and she climbed onto his lap and cuddled into his strong arms. As sad as she was that it was Bombur that had fallen in, she was so, so gratefully that it hadn't been Fili. If Fili had fallen in and was now laying there still and silent, she would be out of her mind with fear and worry. Neither of them spoke, just sat there and silently held each other, drawing strength from the fact that the other was there and safe.

Something that today made abundantly clear to Bella was that she was not falling in love with Fili. Somewhere along the way from the first time they'd met, the charming scamp had managed to steal her heart entirely. The last two difficult weeks hadn't changed that, they had only proved to highlight his character. He hadn't complained, not even once. He'd done his best to keep the company's spirit's up, shouldering the packs, listening patiently to the others. She had to admit that when he held her hand, she felt safer, stronger. He always had a smile for her, no matter how tired he was. However, she didn't want the first time she told him that she loved him to be after a stress filled day in a creeptastic forest. Soon, she promised herself. She'd tell him soon.

Thorin ordered them to sleep and she obediently stood. However, before she headed to her bed roll, she bent forward and brushed her lips gently over his. It was a brief kiss, one filled with caring and reassurance. Then with a shy smile she turned and made her way to her bedroll. Closing her eyes, she prayed that things would be better soon, that Bombur would wake up and they would get out of this endless forest, back into the sunshine and fresh air. With this at the upmost of her mind, she quickly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Another week passed until things finally came to a head. The woods had been gradually lightening as they walked, although they never truly escaped the gloom. Also the trees were starting to turn towards autumn colors, reminding them that they were on a schedule. It didn't help that with every day that passed, still Bombur slept. Finally, on the seventh day, Thorin finally snapped.

He barked at Bella to climb a tree and see if she could see the end of the blasted forest. When Fili protested, Thorin shut him down by telling him that she was the lightest of the party and the only one who would be able to get high enough to see. The blond dwarf swallowed his protest but was clearly unhappy. Instead, he led her over to a tall oak tree. He admonished her firmly, "Be careful."

Before she could reassure him, he boosted her up into the tree. She slowly made her way up the tree, making sure that she carefully tested each branch before pulling herself up. Finally she made it up into the canopy and pulled herself up into the sunshine. She had to slam her eyelids closed, her eyes protesting the bright light. After a couple of deep breaths, she cautiously cracked them open. A couple of tears slipped out but her eyes finally adjusted.

She sucked in a deep breath as she saw the blue sky for the first time in days. Smiling, she tipped her head back and closed her eyes again, allowing the sun's warmth to play over her skin. A worried call from Fili reminded her that she was there for a reason and she called down that she was alright. Opening her eyes, she took in her surroundings. She couldn't keep the gasp of delight from escaping when she saw the hundreds of black butterflies dancing on the tree tops. She couldn't remember the last time that she'd ever seen anything so magical.

Pulling her attention back to her task with difficulty, she gazed all around her but all she could see was trees in every direction. With a disappointed sigh, she allowed herself one last glance at the blue sky before slowly making her way back down.

However, when she reached the ground, she became aware that something was wrong. All of the dwarves were gone.

* * *

Bella carefully shut the book after sketching one of the butterflies. She had forgotten that magical little oasis in that horrid forest and all the events afterwards. It had been one of the most beautiful things that she had ever seen. A bit of beauty where she hadn't expected to find anything. She was sure that there was a bit of wisdom in that last thought, but she was too tired to chase it down and mine it out. She would try again in the morning.

* * *

Dwalin had been right and he had had another dream that very night. Fili had forgotten how truly desolate Mirkwood had been and he'd had no idea how Bella was suffering from the forest's sickness. She had been so brave, never saying a word about it. And even though that forest had been so gloomy and depressing, he and Bella had grown closer, leaning on each other for strength and support.

Carefully pulling out the charm sketch, he drew a tiny butterfly. Studying it, he could tell that the bracelet was nearly done, only three or four more charms until it was complete. He sighed, carefully tracing the bracelet with his finger. It his dreams were following the quest, they were quickly coming towards the end. He was torn whether or not he wanted to know the end. Something had happened to take her from him. Whatever it was, it was gone from his memories. And that scared him. Had he done it? Was he the reason that she had fled?

He hadn't shared his fears with anyone, but it gnawed on him. He was startled when Tauriel suddenly rode up next to him and ordered him dryly, "Stop it."

Quickly tucking the sketch away, Fili asked, "Stop what?"

The red haired elf rolled her eyes. "You're obviously worrying and you don't need to. So stop."

Wondering how in the world she'd managed to pick up on his upset, he tried to deflect her, "What makes you think that I'm worrying?"

She said kindly, "I can tell." She discreetly waved at the others. "They probably won't pick up on it. But I'm a woman and I know that you're worried. You're worried that it was you. That it's your fault that she's gone, that you did something to drive her away. That she ran because she hates you and wants nothing to do with you."

He gaped at her. Finally he managed to stutter, "How?"

She raised an eyebrow, "How did I know?" He nodded. "Like I said, I'm a woman and a woman just knows these kind of things. Also, I know that you have nothing to worry about, for two reasons. One, I know you and you're a good dwarf. You have a core of honor and whether or not you remember, nothing would change that. I don't know why she went back to the Shire, but I guarantee that it was not you who caused it. Two, you are having the soul dreams, are you not?"

He nodded slowly, "I had one last night."

She smiled at him, "There, you see? You have nothing to worry about. I don't think that Aule would force those that hated each other to keep a soul bond."

Fili's response was immediate and filled with revulsion, "Never, that's a travesty! The bond is only between those who are equals, who have the potential for love between them." His words tapered off as he realized what he was saying.

She said practically, "There you go. You're still having the dreams, so she obviously doesn't hate you. I don't know what happened, but when we reach the Shire, you can ask her yourself. Until then, hold onto hope."

He smiled warmly at her, "Thank you. My brother is indeed a lucky dwarf."

She laughed lightly at that, "Maybe, but he still pouts a lot if I'm not with him, so I'll leave you to your thoughts."

As she rode away, Fili decided that she was right, his heart much lighter than it had been moments ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this is going to be a little bit longer note.
> 
> I've been trying to write the journey from Bella's perspective, because she's the one that's writing it to heal her heart. However, so so many of the scenes beg for Fili's perspective. Would any of you guys be interested in reading one shots from Fili's view. Because here's what I was thinking of doing. I would not rewrite the whole journey from Fili's perspective. This really is Bella's story and Fili's journey. But what I was thinking about doing was having a separate fic with scenes from this fic but from Fili's point of view. Anyone interested? Drop a comment and let me know. If not, I'll shelve the idea.
> 
> Also, concerning Bombur. I did not have him wake up before the spider abduction simply because I didn't want to torture Bella with stories about imaginary feasts when she is already sick from where the forest is sick. I chose to exercise artistic license because I can, so there.
> 
> For some reason, when I think about Mirkwood, I see it in a series of brief scenes, tied together with long periods of numb slogging. That's what I tried to convey with this chapter.
> 
> And I love Tauriel and Fili's relationship in this story. I was going to leave Fili all angsty at the end and Tauriel's like, NOPE! Future bro is not going to worry about this if I can help it. Plus, when Fili's mopey, then Kili gets mopey. Dealing with a mopey Kili is like dealing with a sad puppy, no fun at all. So she straightened it all out.
> 
> Drop me a note, let me know if you're enjoying the story. Happy Monday!


	22. Arachnids of Unusual Sizes

Fili gave a sigh of relief as they finally reached the foothills on the other side of the Misty Mountains. It had taken longer than he had wanted to pass through the mountain and they'd had to spend the night sheltered in a shallow cave in the pass, one that Bifur checked carefully with his stone sense and declared free of any passages. Fili had been on edge the entire night and was grateful when dawn arrived and they could keep going. He was dreading having to cross them again on the return trip, but hopefully the weather would be clear and the path would have melted and be easier to traverse.

He pulled his pony aside and let the others pass so he could assume the rear guard position. While he was waiting, he allowed himself a deep breath and a small smile. The biggest obstacle between him and Bella had been successfully traveled, the rest of the trip should be easy. Especially without Azog's orcs and wargs on their tail. Within a month or so, he would be able to see her again. 

Also, it seemed like with every league they traveled closer, the dreams and their connection grew stronger. He couldn't explain why he was dreaming about the quest or why he couldn't remember her. But every dream was more clear than the last, he knew more and he remembered more. If the dreams kept happening at the rate that they currently were, then they should finish the quest before he reached the Shire. He both wanted and dreaded to know what had happened, so he could make things right, so he could know why she had run.

Taking up his position at the rear of the procession, he started turning strategies over in his mind. He had a hobbit to woo.

* * *

Bella carefully went over every inch of her house and cellars to make sure that there were no spiders. She had spent most of the summer waging war on them and was pleased to see that her campaign had been successful as she didn't find a single one. She was not going to write about giant spiders when their smaller cousins were lurking about, no way.

Satisfied that she was safe for at least the moment, she threw together a stew that would need the entire day to simmer. Settling down in the cozy kitchen and absently reminding herself to make some fresh rolls later to go with the stew, she opened the notebook. Wrapping her shawl tighter around her shoulders, she started to write.

* * *

As soon as her feet touched the forest floor, she knew that something was terribly wrong. Her senses had been trying to tell her that on the climb down, but she had been too focused on the climbing and had barely made note of how quiet it was. Much too quiet for the presence of a group of dwarves. However, when her feet touched the ground, it was like the area grew darker and more stifling. She looked around, but could see no sign of her dwarves. In the few minutes that she had been up in the tree, evil had come and taken her family.

She cast around but she couldn't find anything tangible for her to trace. She started cursing herself for not paying closer attention the the tracking skills they had tried to teach her, but abruptly cut herself off. It would do no good to get caught in a spiral of self loathing right now, she needed to find the company. A sudden, insane, thought occurred to her and she didn't stop to weigh the pros and cons of it. Something inside of her was screaming that she needed to find the dwarves now or it would be too late. So without hesitation, she dropped the shields and barriers that she had gradually built up against the forest's illness.

Darkness ripped through her and she fell to her knees, vomiting helplessly. Finally, she'd thrown up everything and was reduced to dry heaves. Only distantly remembering why she had done this, she fought to push the darkness back enough that she could function. In what seemed like hours but was only a few minutes, she managed to push the darkness back enough that she could breathe and move, but pain still coursed through her. Staggering to her feet, she cast about again. With her senses open to the forest, she quickly found what she was looking for. 

There were traces of giant spiderwebs and a trail of corruption that led to the north. Vaguely remembering a conversation between Gandalf and that crazy wizard, she had a feeling that these were the giant spiders that they had been talking about. Somehow they had managed to get a jump on the dwarves, most likely because they had been focused on her up in the tree. She had to get them back.

Forcing herself into a stumbling trot, she followed the trail that the spiders had left. She hadn't gotten very far when she was ambushed by a spider that had lagged behind the rest. Only a timely stumble had saved her. She had tripped and fallen to her knees and the spider had overshot her. She managed to fumble her sword loose and swing it up in time to meet it's oncoming charge. Her fury at this situation and these Valar forsaken woods suddenly flared to life and she stabbed the spider in a frenzy. It had screamed, "It stings! It stings!!" before finally curling up and dying.

Feeling steadier although still shaken, she glanced at the small sword that they had all teased her about and shrugged. "Sting works as good as anything else."

Suddenly she remembered the ring from the goblin tunnels and how it had allowed her to move unseen. If there were enough spiders to capture thirteen armed fighters, it would be better if they couldn't see her coming. She fished the ring out with trembling fingers and slipped it on, the world immediately going grey. Feeling a little more confident, she tightened her grip on Sting and started after them again, moving at a faster pace than she had before.

She had traveled for maybe fifteen minutes when she noticed that the cobwebs were getting thicker, strung between trees and blocking out the light. She moved cautiously, making sure not to brush up against them. She heard their hissing voices and wanted to clap her hands over her ears, but used them instead to guide her forward. After a minute or two, she could hear that they were gloating about a fine catch of fresh meat.

She clamped a hand over her mouth to stop her cry when she peeked around and saw that the company was wrapped tightly in cobwebs, hanging from a tree branch. The bundles hung motionless and she wanted to weep at the thought that she was too late. Then one of the spiders approached a bundle that was obviously Bombur and prodded it, hissing obscenely about him being fat and juicy. That's when she got a surprise when Bombur suddenly lashed out and kicked the spider off the branch, much to the amusement of it's peers. Bella was too busy staring at the dwarves to pay attention to their mockery. After several moments, she could see that all of them were moving sluggishly trying to escape.

They were still alive! She swallowed her happy cry, her brain immediately spinning into motion. She had to get the spiders away from them, but how? She was going to have to play bait and draw them off. Taking a deep breath, she stepped into the open and sang the most obnoxious rhyme that she could think of. Apparently spiders had the same emotional temperament as Lobelia and they were instantly frothing at the mouth in rage. She took off running, making sure to make loads of noise while still throwing taunts over her shoulder.

Once they were far enough away, she went silent, throwing a couple of sticks ahead of her so that they would keep heading away from her. Once the last spider thundered by, she quickly ran back towards the spider glade, making sure to keep her footsteps silent. She was glad that she had returned so quickly, because one fat, lazy spider had remained behind and was just about to start eating Bombur. Using one of the many webs, she quickly climbed up and stabbed the spider, kicking it off the branch with a great amount of satisfaction.

Knowing that the spiders would be back any moment, she slipped her ring off and stuck it into her pocket then struggled to pull up the most active bundle. Ripping open the cobwebs from over their face, she felt relief flood her as she saw that it was Fili. She breathed, "You're alive."

He was sick from spider poison but did his best to help her help him up onto the branch. Once they'd managed to fully free him from the cobwebs, he made his way down to the ground and she carefully lowered the dwarves down to him, her arms screaming in pain from their weight. They had just managed to lower the last one when she could hear the spiders coming back, furious at having lost their prey. 

Sliding down to the ground, she told Fili breathlessly, "Get them up and run, I'll draw them off again."

He cried out, "Bella, wait!"

But she had slid the ring on again and was running towards the incoming spiders, hurling insults. A few ignored her and made for the easier prey, but most followed after her, wanting to kill her for her taunting words. She ran and zigzagged through the woods as quickly as she could, occasionally stooping and grabbing stones, turning and hurling them as hard as she could, killing them.

Finally she killed enough that they called off the hunt and headed back towards where they already had prey tied up. Bella ran towards the spider glade, praying that the dwarves had had enough time to get away. Instead, she arrived back just in time to see the elves capture the dwarves. She would've run right into the middle of the fray and been captured herself in she hadn't tripped and the ring slid off her finger. She scrabbled after it and ended up finding it right behind an enormous tree. By the time she had it back on her finger, the dwarves had been surrounded and been forced to surrender.

That's when she heard Kili's cries for help. She turned to run and help him, not caring whether or not she was discovered when a female elf in an impressive display of acrobatics managed to save the dark haired prince. Sighing in relief, Bella remained hidden behind the tree, as if that would make her doubly invisible or something. She fought to even out her breathing, not wanting the elves to hear her. It was imperative that she remain free so she could help the dwarves out of this latest situation that they had found themselves in. Leaning heavily against the tree, she heard the woman talking in Sindarin about how the spiders were growing bolder and almost snorted. No duh, you just had to look around the forest to see how sick it was, no wonder they had a large spider problem.

Working on putting her barriers back up now that they were relatively safe, Bella kept a close eye on the company. She wanted to strangle the one elf with his own hair when he insulted Gloin's family. Who was he to think himself so high and mighty? In order to keep herself from marching out there and setting the rude elf straight, she turned her attention to Fili. She shoved her hand over her mouth to smother her giggles at the frustration and awe of the elf who was searching him and kept finding yet another knife. He was being non-combative but his eyes kept flicking around as if he was looking for something. Bella wanted to reassure him that she was alright, but she couldn't risk the elves seeing or hearing her.

The elves apparently didn't want to linger in the benighted forest anymore then they had and quickly left once they had disarmed the prisoners. It had taken all of her skill to move quietly enough that the elves wouldn't discover her. The one who was seemingly in charge, the one who had mocked Gloin, was sharp and had nearly caught her several times. Because of this, she had just enough time to slip through the doors before they closed, not having dared get any closer. 

She was torn when they separated Thorin from the rest of them, not knowing which party to follow. Then figuring that they would eventually take Thorin back to wherever they had taken the others, she decided to follow the king-in-exile to his audience with Thranduil. After quite the exchange of nastiness on both sides, the elves did indeed escort Thorin to a cell and lock him up with Thorin cursing and struggling the entire way.

They did bring him food and water, so she left him there, reasonably assured of his safety for the moment. Then she went in search of the rest of the company. They were spread out throughout the rest of the dungeon, far enough apart that they couldn't see each other, although they could still hear each other. As she had noted earlier, dwarves were not quiet creatures. She made her way quickly through the dungeon, counting as she went.

She'd found twelve out of thirteen, only Fili was unaccounted for. She heard a rhythmic banging and quickly headed that way, certain that she'd found the missing prince. Creeping carefully down the hallway, she found that her guess was correct. But the sight that met her eyes made her cry out involuntarily. He was silent, his eyes wild, as he threw himself at the bars time and again, grim determination on his face. He was hurting himself but he didn't seem to notice or care.

She rushed over and grabbed hold of the bars, hissing, "Fili, Fili! Stop! You're hurting yourself!"

He flinched back and looked around wildly. His voice a frantic whisper, he forced out, "Bella? Are you there?"

She had forgotten about the ring and she hastily pulled it off and shoved it in her pocket. "I'm here. What in the world were you thinking? Kili and Thorin are just fine, they're locked up nearby."

He staggered over to the bars and reached through determinedly, his hands framing her face. All of the tension fled him and he sagged to his knees. She followed him down, studying him worriedly. He still looked pale and sick from the spider venom. She grabbed one of his hands in both of hers. "Fili, are you hurt? Speak to me. Please."

He squeezed her hand gently, he asked hoarsely, "How are you even here?"

She shook her head, "It's a long story and I don't know when the elves will be back. Are you all right?"

He nodded, his face pale. "I thought you were dead. Don't you ever do something like that again!" He reached through the bars and cupped her cheek, his eyes determined, "Now, you listen to me. Steal some food and water and get away from here. Go back to Beorn's or the Shire. You can even go to Ered Luin if you want, amad will watch out for you. Just leave us here and get to safety. Promise me you'll do this, Bella."

She shook her head fiercely, "I am not leaving you, get that idea out of your mind right this instant." Her head snapped up and she looked to the right where she heard footsteps approaching. She hissed, "Someone's coming, I've got to got. I'll be back when I can." 

Tugging her hand free of his, she slipped on her ring and scrambled away from his cell. She rounded the far corner of the hall at the same time as a pair of elves rounded the corner near Fili. Feeling fatigue start to set in, she searched for an out of the way corner where she could catch her breath. She finally found a tiny niche where spare torches were stored. It was too small for an elf to fit into, but just right for a too thin hobbit lass. It was also close enough so that she could hear all of the dwarves and would know instantly when something happened.

For the first time in what seemed like days, she was able to sit and catch her breath. Fine tremors ran over her body as it realized how close she had come to dying today. That and a delayed reaction to the darkness of the forest. The land was cleaner here in the palace, but it was still not wholesome like it was in Rivendell. Finally the shaking tapered off and she felt fatigue wash over her. She had been running on empty for days now between slim rations and the sick forest. Today's fighting and running had drained her reserves and before she even realized it, she had fallen asleep.

* * *

When Bella woke, it was hours later. She woke with her heart racing from a dream that she was back in the forest facing the spiders. She was disoriented and it took her several moments to get her bearings after she opened her eyes, her breathing harsh in the silence. Then the recent events came back to her and she struggled to calm her breathing, worried that an elf would happen to hear it and catch her. 

When several minutes passed and no elf appeared, she allowed herself to relax. She hadn't meant to fall asleep, although she felt more clear headed because of the rest. Pushing herself to her feet, she stretched, groaning silently as her muscles protested and joints popped noisily. Sticking her head cautiously out of her hiding spot, she found that the coast was clear.

First order of business, she decided, was to check on all of her dwarves and make sure that they were all right. Then she would find a way to get them all out of the Valar forsaken kingdom. The sooner she figured out a way to do that, the better. So she cautiously crept from cell to cell, checking on each member of the company and reassuring them that, yes, she was real, and, yes, she would find a way out, and of course she would take a message to their kin for them. It was good to see Bombur finally awake, although he was unhappy at being separated from his kin. She was thankful that she had learned iglishmek, otherwise the shouting that she and Oin would've had to do would've brought the guards down on them for sure. She also made a mental note to search for the dwarves belongings as she looked for a way out. The way that the elves had treated them was abominable and she found her respect for them falling drastically, although they had at least fed the company and given them medical aid. 

She had saved Fili's cell for last, hoping to find him more settled than the last time she'd seen him. He was laying down on his cot, his breathing even. She was pleased to see that his color was better than it had been earlier, his skin no longer looking so dull and dehydrated. She made a mental note to find herself some food and water soon as well.

She quietly whispered his name, not wanting to wake him if he was truly asleep. However, as soon as he heard her voice, he sat up and looked around for her. She took off her ring and gave him a relieved grin. He was on his feet in a flash, making his way over to the bars.

He breathed, "Bella. I was beginning to think that I'd imagined you earlier."

She smiled up at him and brushed a stray strand of hair off his forehead, "No, I'm really here. I've managed to talk with the rest of the company. I also have messages from Thorin and Kili for you. Are you feeling any better? You looked quite ill earlier and I was worried about all of you and the spider venom."

He studied her carefully, "I'm fine, the elves gave us medicine to counteract the venom. Did you get stung?"

She shuddered and shook her head, "Thank Yavanna, no. Have I told you lately how much I hate this forest? No spider should be that large, it's downright unnatural."

He chuckled quietly at that. "I quite agree, ghivashel. Please, sit and rest for a minute."

While she sat and made herself comfortable against the bars, he made his way to the back of the cell. Grabbing something, he made his way back over and sat as well. He handed her a half full mug of water and a roll with a bit of meat in it. He apologized, "I know that it's not much, but the healers were watching carefully while I ate to make sure that I wasn't having any ill effects from the medicine. I'll be able to save more for you next time."

She felt herself tearing up at his thoughtfulness and had to sniff several times to keep the tears from spilling over. She set the mug aside and the roll in her lap before reaching through the bars and cupped his cheek, rubbing her thumb over his cheekbone. She smiled and murmured, "You are a very good dwarf, Fili. How was I lucky enough to catch your eye?"

He blushed but leaned into her touch, letting out a relieved sigh. Then he straightened and frowned at her, "You need to eat."

She rolled her eyes but obediently pulled her hand back and started eating. The fresh water was pure heaven, tasting fresh instead of having the stale tang of leather water skins. She nibbled on the roll slowly, trying to make it last as long as possible while she shared the messages from the others. He was deeply relieved to hear that Kili and Thorin were all right, having been rather disoriented during their capture due to the venom. He also asked for updates on the rest of the company and she was able to pass on everything that she knew, as well as telling him about the rather disastrous meeting between Thorin and Thranduil.

Fili sighed when he heard that. Holding her hand, he explained, "Uncle has always harbored bitterness against Thranduil. I cannot say exactly what happened because I was not there, but amad said that it was true that Thranduil did turn away our people when we begged him for help. But she also told us that grandfather was just as much to blame, he was proud and bitter and his greed had called the dragon down on us. I cannot say for sure what did or did not happen. But it troubles me, for if we cannot find a way out, we will miss our window to open the hidden door. Our people will not last another year, they will surely starve by then."

Bella frowned, trying to think of a way to reassure him. She wove their fingers together and squeezed gently, "If that truly happens, we'll find a way. My grandfather is the Thain of the Shire. We can work out a treaty with Ered Luin. Food in exchange for smith work or something. We would give you the food for free, because we have been starving and know what it's like, but I know that that wouldn't work."

She looked up to find him staring at her like she had grown another head. When he finally spoke, it wasn't at all the question that she was expecting, "Your grandfather's the Thain?"

Puzzled, she said, "Yes, he's my mother's father. Why?"

His expression turning hard, Fili asked quietly, "Did Tharkun know that your grandfather is the ruler of the Shire?"

Now she was even more confused, "Gandalf and my grandfather are good friends, of course he knew. Of course, my grandfather is pretty much retired and it's my uncles and cousin that run most of the day to day events. And the Thain doesn't oversee the whole Shire, Michael Delving is run by a mayor. But I still don't see what this has to do with anything."

Fili pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before looking directly at her, "Bella, you are part of the ruling family of the Shire. You should've never been dragged into this madness."

She giggled at that and Fili looked at her, totally exasperated. "Fili, dear heart, I'm not laughing at you. Just the idea of me running the Shire. You see, my grandfather had twelve children, of which my mother was the ninth. Nine sons and three daughters. There are so many other family members between me and Thainship that it's not even funny. Even if my parents were still alive, they wouldn't be in consideration for the Thainship. So you needn't worry that you stole me away from more important tasks."

He stared at her, wide eyed, before accusing her, "You're making that up."

She shook her head, still laughing softly, "I'm not. I admit, twelve is a bit large, most hobbits have between four to eight faunts." She heard a noise and listened quietly before deciding that it wasn't someone heading their way. Turning her attention back to Fili, she asked, "Where was I going with this? Oh yes, if the worst should happen, there are still options open. There is still hope. But I'd better go and look for a way out before we start looking for more options, right? Do you have any messages you wish me to take to the others."

"Just that I am well." He reached through the bars and gently cupped her face, drawing her close enough that he could rest his forehead on hers through the bars. "I wish that you would save yourself, Bella. You're not safe here. But I know that you have more heart than any lass I've ever met. So just be careful and don't take any foolish risks."

She allowed herself to remain there for three deep breaths, in and out, before slowly pulling back and smiling at him. "I'll be careful and I'll be back as soon as I can. Take heart, I will find a way out of here."

With one last smile, she put on the ring and slipped away. It was night time, which meant that it was the perfect time to roam the halls and see if she could find a way out. The company was counting on her.

* * *

Closing the book, Bella reached up and gently ran her fingers over her braid. Fili had been ill with spider venom and undoubtedly starving, but he had still managed to set aside food for her. He had been a bright spot in that darkness and had willingly shared his strength with her. She would've never made it through the forest without his strength.

She sighed as she remembered Thranduil. He was as warped in his own way as Thror must've been. Just because his greed had been for white gems instead of gold didn't make it better. She could only pray that his son turned out to be a better leader than his father was. She had seen seeds of greatness in the younger elf, but didn't know if they would grow while he was under his father's guidance.

She shoved the thought away, that was something to contemplate another day. Right now, she needed to eat dinner and then work on planning her garden again.

* * *

Fili helped pack up camp, lost in his thoughts. Bofur was the one to draw him out of his thoughts, "What's on yer mind, lad?"

Fili shrugged, "Just thinking on the latest soul dream, is all."

Bofur tilted his head quizzically, "I thought that those were supposed to be happy thoughts, lad, not make you look like you're staring down a dying mine."

He sighed, "I'm just trying to reconcile some information, is all."

Dwalin had come over to chivvy him for taking so long, but stopped when he heard that. He asked Fili, "What information?"

Fili sighed again, "She's the Thain's granddaughter, for starters. She's not in the line of succession, but that should cut down any opposition to our match at least. And if we don't find her, we can always inquire of the Thain. It at least gives us another avenue of inquiry."

Both Dwalin and Bofur turned serious at that. Bofur cursed, "Yer One is part of the ruling family and we drug her on the quest? What was Tharkun thinking, putting a noble lass like that in danger?"

Fili chuckled and they both looked at him like he'd lost his mind. He explained, "She told me that her mother was just one of twelve children and that she was nowhere near in line for the Thainship."

Bofur clutched his hat, "Twelve pebbles?"

Fili nodded, "Aye, nine lads and three lasses. She said that was on the large side for a hobbit family, that most had between four and eight pebbles."

With a final tug on his hat, Bofur excused himself, an excited gleam in his eyes, "I've gotta tell Bifur about this. We'll be wanting to carve some toys before we get there."

After he was gone, Dwalin asked, "What's weighing on you? You wouldn't be so grim if you were just worried that we had basically kidnapped a noble lass."

Fili tightened down the strap on a pack more tightly than necessary. "Did you know that hobbits are connected to the land in much the same way we are with stone sense? Mirkwood was poisoned and she was in agony the whole time that we were trekking through it. She never said a word to anyone, she just pushed on, never complaining, never letting on."

Dwalin sighed, "There's no way that you could've known, lad. I doubt Tharkun knew either, otherwise he would've warned Thorin or found another way around that forest. You can't take on that burden. However, know that you do know, you'll make sure that it never happens again, simple as that. Regretting something or wishing to change the past is just a waste of energy. All we can do is keep moving forward."

He swallowed hard but nodded. "I understand, but it still hurts that she was hurting and I didn't even know."

Dwalin nodded approvingly, "That's a good sign. You're a protector, Fili. You watch out for those around you. Don't ever take that for granted, tis a good gift for a king to have. Now, we need to get moving, we're wasting daylight and we still have leagues to go yet."

Grinning at the man who had been like a second father to him all his life, Fili obediently got moving. Dwalin was right, they had ground to cover and a hobbit lass waiting for him at the end of the journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter - Daring escapes, another charm, and Fili comes ever closer to the Shire
> 
> I should have the next chapter up by next Sunday
> 
> Reviews are always greatly appreciated, they keep me from sinking into a pit of despair that my writing is no good. (Writer's can be very sensitive and self critical sometimes. If you know a writer, give them a hug and tell them that everything will be ok :) )
> 
> Happy Sunday All!


	23. Escapes and new bonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics - Memory

Bella tossed and turned in her bed, unable to get comfortable. After writing about the spiders of Mirkwood, she had had nightmares for the past two nights. Now it seemed like her body was refusing to sleep at all, unwilling to face the monsters for the third night in a row. Finally giving up on sleep, she climbed out of bed and slipped on her patchwork robe. Lighting a single candle, she carefully made her way to the den.

Stirring the fire to life, she added a stout log to it. Satisfied that it would burn well for a couple of hours, she grabbed the journal and inkwell and brought it over to the comfortable reading chair in front of the fire. Carefully setting the ink on the table next to the chair, she comfortably settled the journal on her lap. Then dipping her quill, she allowed her mind drift to a different set of dark rooms and started to write.

* * *

Bella had been slinking through the elven king's halls for over a week and she still hadn't found a way out. She was ready to tear her own hair out, not caring whether or not it would upset the dwarves. There was only so much that a hobbit lass could withstand and she was quickly reaching that limit. Her sleep had been rough and disjointed, she kept jerking awake at the tiniest sounds thinking that the elves had finally discovered her. Her rations had also been lacking, despite all of the company slipping her portions of their meals. She refused to take more than a few bites from any of them, they had been in just as dire of straights as she had been.

The only one that she hadn't been able to persuade was Fili, who stubbornly insisted that she eat half of his portion. He had threatened to call for the guards himself if she didn't, saying that he refused to see her waste away and that he didn't need as much food where he was just sitting around locked up all day. So she reluctantly ate it, even though her body was happy for the extra nourishment.

However, she was growing desperate to find a way out. The captivity was taking a toll on the entire company and she could see them getting quieter and more withdrawn every day. Well, all of them with the exception of Kili. She rolled her eyes when she recalled the first time she had caught him chatting with the red headed elleth that had saved him from the spiders. She thought that the warrior woman would laugh at his puppy eyes and walk away, but for some reason she seemed just as fascinated as the dark haired prince. She had worried about Kili especially where he was the youngest and most free spirited of the group and knew that captivity would be the hardest on him. But he was fascinated with the elf and spent the hours alone in his cell happily daydreaming. Remembering his fascination with the elf maids at Rivendell, she should've seen his infatuation coming. But it kept his spirits up, so she left him to it, although she wondered if she should worry about Thorin killing her instead for allowing his younger nephew to fraternize with an elf.

When she had told Fili, trying to lift his spirits on a day that he was especially down, he'd simply rolled his eyes and told her that Kili had always been quick to fall in and out of love, a side effect of his open heart. Bella thought that it looked like a lot more than a simple crush, but kept her mouth shut on the matter. If Fili wasn't going to be concerned, than neither was she.

She didn't bring up the matter again, telling him instead about the places that she had searched for a way out and of the people and things that she had seen in the halls. She had been particularly proud of the time that she'd managed to switch the sugar for the salt, so that when Thranduil tried to drink his morning coffee, he had ended up gagging instead. The pompous jerk had deserved it, several days spent around him not improving Bella's opinion of him at all. Fili had scolded her halfheartedly for taking foolish risks, but she could tell that he was amused. It had been good to see him smile.

It was on the eighth or maybe the ninth day when he unwittingly gave her the key to their escape. She was sitting slumped against the bars of his cell, feeling rather defeated. He was sitting on the other side of the bars, staring into space as he played absently with her fingers. He had been trying to lift her flagging spirits, but all of his attempts had fallen flat. It didn't help that she was always cold from having to wear the ring and she swore that the thing tried whispering dark thoughts to her at times, although she was much too busy to pay it any mind. And when she did have a moment to sit quietly, she was so tired that she ended up falling asleep.

Fili sighed as he brought her hand up to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "Don't give up, love. You'll find a way out, you always do. After all, you managed to talk us out of getting eaten by trolls and you escaped the goblin tunnels all by yourself. Things aren't so bad here, we're fed and warm and even if the accommodations aren't so grand, we've lived through a lot worse. What you need to do it get a good night's sleep so you can look at it all with fresh eyes in the morning. Well, that and a good pint of ale. I'd give my left boot for a good pint to pass the time for a little while."

She relaxed against the bars and said sleepily, "You're right. I don't think I've slept well in days. Would it be all right if I just rested my eyes here for a little while? I feel safe when I'm with you."

He ran a calloused hand gently over her hair, "Go ahead and sleep, I'll keep watch and wake you in plenty of time if anyone comes. And leave the ring off, no one will see you, you have my word."

She hesitated but finally agreed. She had told him about the ring and how cold it made her feel a few days prior. Weaving her fingers through his, she allowed her eyes to flutter close, mumbling tiredly, "The green dragon had the best ale in the Shire. Someday we'll visit and you can judge for yourself."

He murmured back, "I'd like that." But she was already asleep, her breathing deep and steady.

* * *

It felt like she had barely fallen asleep when she found herself being shook awake, Fili calling her name quietly. She shot upright, looking around blearily and fumbling for sting. Keeping his voice low but firm, Fili said, "Bella, it's all right, it's just me. But the elves will be making their rounds again soon, so you need to wake up." The last few words were laced with regret.

Scrubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she offered him a tired smile. "It's all right, dear heart. That's more sleep than I've been able to get."

Yawning, she found her words to be true, her mind clearer than it had been for days. An idea occurred to her and she decided to go with it. She'd look for an exit again tomorrow. Standing, she beckoned him over to the bars. Puzzled, he did as she asked and she stood on tiptoe and brushed a kiss on his cheek. "I'm going to go check on something. I'll try to come back sometime tonight, but if I don't make it back until tomorrow, don't worry."

She made to move away and he caught her hand and placed another kiss on it, his eyes warm but worried, before letting it go. He murmured, "Be careful, Bella."

She just gave him another small smile before slipping on the ring and heading silently down the hall.

Fili's words from earlier were circling in her head, about wanting a pint of ale. The elves probably didn't have any, just their wine, but it was worth investigating anyway. As far as she was concerned, her run in with the spiders had earned her a pint of ale and then some. Not to mention that it would undoubtedly lift the dwarves spirits if she could figure out a way to smuggle some to them as well.

Vaguely remembering seeing some stairs that had gone downwards that she had ignored, she tried to remember exactly where they had been. As she passed the area where Kili was locked up, she saw that he was talking yet again with Tauriel. Every time that she had managed to check in on him, that was all that she had heard, Tauriel, Tauriel, Tauriel. She listened for a moment, curious as to what they talked about. When she heard her telling him about a feast that all the elves would be attending the next night, Bella shrugged and kept moving. The last thing that she wanted to hear about was a feast that she wouldn't be able to attend.

Thankfully the stairs that she was searching for were in the next corridor. She made her way cautiously down them, having almost been run over more than once by an elf running silently up or down a set of stairs. It just wasn't fair that they could move that silently. To her delight, the stairs did lead to a cellar, but even more than that, it led to a way out.

If she wasn't being stealthy, she would have done a happy jig. But she was, so she had to content herself with a mental crow of happiness. After all this time, she had finally found a way out when she hadn't even been looking. It only took a couple of minutes for the plan to come fully together. She knew that the company wouldn't be entirely happy, but if they didn't want to miss Durin's Day, they would have to put up with her idea. It's not like they had had any better ideas. But the timing would have to be just right.

She grinned suddenly. Overhearing about the feast had been a fortuitous bit of information. What better time to escape than when the elves were tipsy and busy carousing? Suddenly she realized that she hadn't managed to locate the dwarves belongings. She had so much to do if she was going to break them all out of the dungeons the next night.

* * *

Despite her best attempts, she hadn't been able to make it back to Fili's cell that night. She had been busy scampering from one end of the elven king's halls to the other. Still, she was satisfied with her night's work, having finally managed to round up all of the belongings of the company that had been so rudely taken from them. After tucking them safely away in a storeroom near the cellars, she allowed herself a brief nap in the niche she had found the first night. She only lightly dozed, many elves passing back and forth no doubt handling the many preparations for the feast.

It was dusk when things finally died down, the feast getting underway. Bella had to wait for the key keepers to get drunk enough that she could get the keys from them. It took a while and she silently cursed the elves ability to hold their drink. But finally sometime near dawn they succumbed to the wine's power and passed out on the table. Grabbing the keys, she raced for where her dwarves were imprisoned.

She could hear them gritching back and forth about not reaching the mountain in time. Pleased that she had finally found a way out, she pulled off the ring and almost danced up to Thorin's cell. She said softly, mischief sparkling in her eyes, "Well, you certainly won't reach it locked up in these cells. Ready to get out of here, your majesty?"

Thorin grinned back at her and the other dwarves started calling out, having heard her. She shushed them hastily, reminding them that there were still guards nearby. She moved quickly from cell to cell, unlocking them. Fili was waiting anxiously at the door, his hands in a white knuckled grip around the bars. Relief entered his eyes when he saw her, but they didn't have a chance to speak as Kili came over and pulled him into a rough hug.

Rounding up the company, she hissed quietly, "Follow me, everyone, quickly."

They obediently followed her down to the storeroom where she had stored all of their clothing and items that had been taken from them. They had given quiet cries of delight and she had had to shush them yet again. Shooing them into the room, she waited anxiously in the hall for them to finish. Despite having the second most amount of items, it had taken her forever to round up all of his knives, Fili was the first one back out into the hallway.

He pulled her into his arms and rested his forehead gently against hers. "I was so worried when you didn't show up today. I thought that they had caught you."

She grinned up at him, relief and anticipation shimmering through her, "No, I told you that I might not be able to make it back. I was going to find you some ale. Instead, I found us a way out."

The rest of the dwarves piled back into the hallway and they were forced to step apart. Pleased to see the company looking much more themselves, she beckoned for them to follow her. It went swimmingly until the dwarves realized exactly where she had led them.

Kili scowled and exclaimed quietly, "I don't believe it, we're in the cellars!"

To which Bofur immediately added, "Yer supposed to be leading us out, not further in!"

She scowled at him and told him that she knew what she was doing and he had hushed her! She wanted to kick him but reminded herself that she liked Bofur and they would all be better once they got out of this Valar forsaken wood. And if things weren't dicey enough, her sharp ears managed to pick up the sound of distant shouting. The guards must've discovered that the dwarves had escaped. Knowing that they were running out of time, she hissed, "Everyone, climb into the barrels."

Dwalin whirled back to face her, his expression confused, "Are you mad, they'll find us?"

She pleaded with him, "They won't find you, I promise you. Please, please, trust me."

They milled about uncertainly and she looked pleading at Thorin. They were nearly out of time and if they didn't get moving, they would get caught for sure. It only took Thorin a moment to decide and he called firmly, "Do as she says."

She shot him a grateful look as they all immediately started climbing into the barrels. Nearly dancing with impatience and anxiety, she did a swift count to make sure that she hadn't accidentally mislaid any of them. And this was where her plan got a little dicey. Praying for the best, she made her way towards the lever. Bofur poked his head out of the barrel and asked, "What do we do now?"

If she took a bit of wicked satisfaction in her answer, well, one couldn't really blame a frustrated hobbit lass, now could they? She hissed quietly, "Hold your breath." And then she pulled the lever. To her delight, things worked out just as she imagined, except for two tiny details. Now, she didn't have a barrel and she was on the wrong side of the floor.

Panicking slightly, not that she would ever admit it, she ran over and tried to figure out how to make it move so she could escape. The company needed her to burgle from a dragon, not be stuck in a rude elven king's cell. Not to mention that Thranduil would be less than pleased that his prisoners had escaped and would most not likely spare her just because she was a female.

That thought had just darted through her head when she found the right spot and went plunging downward. That's when she discovered yet another flaw in her plan, one that could prove fatal to her. Hobbits couldn't swim. Praise Yavanna, for reasons that she couldn't understand, Thorin had kept the dwarves there waiting for her and Nori pulled her up, allowing her to latch onto his barrel. Even more surprising were Thorin's words of praise and not censure, like she had halfway expected.

Of course, because their luck was never good for long, the elves quickly figured out their escape route around the same time as the company hit rapids in the river. It was all that Bella could do to cling to the barrel, managing to grab brief snatches of air that were still a good percentage water. And just for a little bit of extra challenge, there was a river gate that the elves managed to signal to be shut, causing the dwarves to bottleneck there.

But the moment she knew that they were well and truly in trouble and that someone out there truly hated them was when the orc arrow killed the elf guarding the gate. The other guards were doing their best to fight off the attack, but Bella was panicking. The dwarves were sitting ducks in their barrels trapped at the gate. And what in the world were orcs doing right outside the elf king's palace. Weren't the spiders bad enough, now he was allowing orcs to roam freely through his woods?

That was the exact moment that an orc went for Nori and before she knew she was moving, she had stabbed and killed the wretched thing. But more were coming, she had to find a way out of this mess. Before she could figure out a course of action, Kili was scrambling out of his barrel and heading for the lever to open the gate. She watched him run, horrified when he was struck in the knee by an arrow. A cruel wound, a debilitating wound, but not a kill shot. It was made even worse when Fili screamed his brother's name.

Despite being injured, Kili managed to still pull the lever and open the gate. Thankfully Fili was able to grab Kili's barrel and hold them there long enough for the younger prince to roll off the gate and into it. Bella prayed that the injury was not as severe as it looked. Then they were back in the rapids and there was a battle raging between the orcs against the dwarves and elves. She didn't even know how the dwarves were managing to fight, but she prayed desperately as she scrabbled to hang onto the barrel and not be washed off or killed.

She didn't know what happened, but one minute, there was chaos all around them and then suddenly the orcs and elves were gone. If it weren't for all the arrows embedded into the barrels and the pained expression on Kili's face, she would've never known that they had even been around. Then there was no more time for thought as the river tried to swallow her whole.

She didn't know how far the river carried them until it smoothed out and they were able to find a place to land safely. Fili was at her side as soon as he was out of his own barrel, helping her to pry her fingers loose and help her to shore. As soon as she felt the shore under her feet, she released him and rasped, "Check on Kili."

As he turned and ran to Kili's side, she staggered three steps onto dry land before falling to her hands and knees and vomiting up all of the water she had managed to swallow. Once she could breath past the nausea, she pushed to her feet and staggered over to where Fili was inspecting Kili's wound. Kili was insisting that he was all right, but he was pale and there were lines of pain around his mouth and eyes.

Thorin called for them to get up and moving. Fili protested, "He's injured, we need to bind the wound first."

Thorin scowled, "There's an orc pack on our trail, we need to get moving."

Bella could understand his point of view, especially considering the skirmish that they had all just endured. But it would be better if the whole company was in fighting trim. She was also disturbed by the lack of concern by Thorin for his nephew. Thorin was not a demonstrative dwarf by any definition of the word, but he did care deeply for his people and even more so for his kin. So when he didn't even bat an eyelid at Kili's injury, it sent alarm bells ringing through her.

However, that concern was quickly shoved aside for the more immediate one of the armed man aiming a bow at them. Bella froze, barely breathing. They had made it away from all of the orcs and elves only for this to happen. Thankfully Balin managed to keep a cool head and soon they were climbing onto the barge to journey to Laketown. She had to admit that it did solve the problem of getting around the lake quite neatly and would at least slow the orcs pursuit of them, although she didn't think that anything would truly stop them.

After asking the man his name, she made her way over by the mask and sat, huddling against the wood and wrapping her arms around her knees. Balin was counting out the money and she passed over what little she still possessed, being careful not to move too much. The swaying of the boat unnerved her and kept reminding her that there was only water underneath her. Gloin was being recalcitrant about the money, until they caught a brief glimpse of Erebor, and then he couldn't hand over his money fast enough.

Bella only glanced at the mountain, too miserable at the moment to care about it. A series of sneezes erupted out of her. Once she managed to stop sneezing, she wished longingly for a handkerchief before reluctantly wiping her runny nose on her sleeve.

Fili had been fussing over Kili, both of them falling silent and staring at the lonely mountain in awe. However, her sneezing drew his attention and he turned away to come join her. He knelt in front of her and brushed a loose curl out of her face, "What are you doing hiding here, amralime?"

She sniffed and wiped her nose again. She said firmly, "I'm not hiding, I'm being sensible."

He studied her worriedly, "What do you mean, sensible?"

She sighed, "Hobbits cannot swim, Fili. I'm not going to get close to the edge, our luck had been poor enough as it is and I'm not going to tempt it any further."

He got the oddest look on his face and his question was strangled, "Hobbits can't swim?"

She shrugged and hunched inward, shivering from her wet clothes, "A few can, mostly the Brandybucks, but I can't." She shivered again.

He whipped off his coat and went to wrap it around her, but she shook her head. He growled, "Bella, your lips are turning blue! Take it!" Wrapping the coat around her, he sat and pulled her into his lap, putting his arms around her in a firm embrace.

She nearly whimpered at the heat coming off of him. She muttered, "How are you so warm?"

It looked like he tried to smile for her, but his lips only gave the barest twitch, "When Mahal created us, it is said that he put a forge inside of us to keep us warm when we delved deep into the earth." A fine tremble ran through him and he rested his chin on her head. "What were you thinking? I could've lost you. How could you have been so foolish."

She felt her temper heat at that. In a voice that practically dared him to say that again, she said, "Excuse me?"

He growled, "Knowing that you can't swim, you chose to jump into the river anyway, without a barrel or anything. You didn't even bother to tell us that you couldn't swim so that we could have looked out for you, gotten you into one of the barrels. Are you so ready to throw away your life?"

Part of her was telling her that she had scared him and that was the reason behind his harsh words. But a larger part of her was exhausted, scared, and angry. She had been fighting to keep up and keep going for so long, to care for all of them and keep them safe. She had spent days walking though poisonous woods, fought giant spiders, and slunk through the elven king's halls for days looking desperately for a way out so they could go and steal from a dragon so that they could regain their home. And now he accused her of being foolish and suicidal? Where had Thorin's lecture been for throwing himself at Azog? But no, once again Bella was the one who had screwed up.

Pushing out of his embrace, she staggered to her feet and glared at him, his coat hanging loosely off her shoulders. She hissed, "How dare you? Do you think that I wanted to do that? I looked, there was no other way! We had to get out of there, we're running out of time! And it's not like I could stay behind, I was brought on this quest for a very specific reason. And it's not like I could stay behind. Thranduil imprisoned you for just crossing Mirkwood and thinking that you might be lying to him. Just what do you suppose he would've done to me if he discovered that I had aided your escape. I don't think that it would be pleasant! Do you think that this has been fun for me, that I liked having to make a split second choice between life and possible death? Not only that, but do you know how hard it was to have to tell all of you day after day that I still hadn't found a way out and watch the light and hope fade a little more from your eyes? To slink about in the dark and the cold, always hiding, catching only the barest snatches of sleep? I'm doing my best but apparently that's not good enough!"

She buried her face in her hands and breathed deeply, fighting back her tears. This was wrong, all wrong. They had finally managed to escape the dungeons and had even managed to get away from the orcs. There was still a chance that they could reach Erebor in time. None of them had died in the escape, although Kili had been injured. Sweet Yavanna, she should be tending to Kili, not having a pity party for herself. But anger and hurt and exhaustion swam through her and she swayed dizzily on her feet. The tears pricked even harder at her eyes. All she wanted was a patch of clean earth, a mug of ale, and a day's worth of sleep, was that too much to ask for?

Warm arms wrapped around her, drawing her gently into a firm chest. She stiffened but the arms didn't release her. Allowing her hands to drop, she saw that it was Fili who held her. She had just yelled at him for things that were not truly his fault, why was he holding her so tenderly?

He soothed her softly, "Oh Bella, I'm sorry, so sorry. It'll be all right, the worst is over. I'm sorry for snapping at you. You're the bravest lass I know and I know that you did everything that you possibly cold. But the thought of losing you, love, it makes my blood run cold and my heart stop. If I lost you, I don't know what I'd do. It terrifies me as much as losing Kili or Uncle, maybe even more."

Cradled in his arms, she could feel the fine trembling coursing through him. She had done this, she had reduced the cheerful crown prince to this. Sliding her arms around his waist, she clung to him for dear life, shivers racking her own frame. Breathing in the scent that was uniquely Fili, she allowed his arms to shelter and hide her from the world, drawing strength from him. Tucking her even closer, he rested his cheek on her head and hummed a dwarven lullaby, the sound deep and soothing.

Finally the tremors eased from both of them. Taking one last deep breath, she pulled back reluctantly. Cupping his face, she rubbed her thumb along his cheekbone, "I'm sorry, dear heart. It all just hit me at once. It wasn't your fault, this journey has just been, challenging."

He let out a mirthless chuckle, leaning into her touch. "It's a miracle that you haven't run screaming from this quest yet." His eyes turned serious and he leaned his forehead against hers. He said quietly, "Marry me, Bella."

She gaped up at him. "Fili! We've just started courting. We barely even know each other. I'm fine, you don't need to do this."

His expression remained firm and warm, "We know each other better than if we'd spent years courting traditionally. It doesn't matter how long we have known each other. this quest has shown me who you truly are. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my days with you, whether it's just one day or a hundred years. I don't know what the future holds, but I want to face it with you at my side. Please, Bella."

She stared at him, her heart trying to hammer it's way out of her chest. His expression was open, his eyes warm with an emotion that she couldn't call anything besides love. Every bit of her mind screamed that it was too soon, that it wasn't proper, while her heart begged for her to accept his love and let him know that she felt the same way about him. Suddenly, an old memory surfaced, from when she had been a tween. She had been mocked by some of the other tweens about her mother's love of traveling, saying that it was improper and unhobbitlike. She had been young enough that the words had cut keenly.

_She had stormed home, passing her mother in the garden without a word. She was stomping through the hallway heading to lock herself into her room when her father stepped out from the study. He looked at her then at her mother who had followed her inside from concern. He asked mildly, "Bella, what troubles you?"_

_She had whirled to face them, angry tears trickling down her face, "Why did you two ever even marry? A Baggins and a Took don't belong together, it should've never happened."_

_Her mother had sighed, her face tightening with sadness and disapproval. However, it was her father that spoke up. He moved over and had taken her mother's hand, weaving his fingers through hers and squeezing gently. "Ah, people are saying the same old drivel I see. That your mother is unhobbitlike with her love of travel, that she shouldn't be wed to a respectable hobbit, so on and so forth."_

_Bella had nodded, her hands clenched into fists. "They say that I am nothing but a disappointment and she travels to escape me, to get away from you."_

_Bungo shook his head sadly. "They lie. You are special and we love you dearly. As for why I married your mother? The moment I saw her, laughing brightly, I knew that she was the one for me, that there would never be another. There was such light and love in her." Anger crossed his face, "However, not everyone could see the beauty and uniqueness that is your mother. They hurt her deeply, trying to make her just like them, when she's so much more. It took her three years to believe that I cared for her just as she was. But know this, I would've waited a thousand years for her. It didn't matter, everything else, my heart knew she was my One. And I have never regretted it, not once." He had looked at Belladonna as he said it, his expression filled with love._

_Bella turned her attention to her mother, noticing how sad she suddenly seemed, "People have always called me odd, because I've followed wherever my heart led me, dear one. When your father first approached me about courtship, I thought that it was a prank, a heartless one. For how could a respectable Baggins care for a hobbit lass that even the Tooks considered free spirited and wild? I was quite cruel to him. But he never gave up on me and gradually I began to see how true his heart was. It took months for me to learn to trust him and his love, everyone said that it would never last, that we were doomed to failure. But he is my other half and when he is at my side, I don't care what the rest of the world has to say."_

_Bungo had pressed a kiss to Belladonna's temple and she had relaxed into his side. He looked at Bella, his expression serious, "Don't settle for less, Bella, and don't let others dictate what is wrong or right. Follow your heart and be happy, that is all that we want for you."_

Fili's voice called her back to the present, "Bella?"

Her father's words echoing in her ears, she realized that he was right. Just as Belladonna had been it for Bungo, Fili was it for her. It didn't matter what anyone else said or thought, all that mattered was him and her. Pushing to her toes, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. She ignored the quiet exclamations and catcalls from the other dwarves as Fili kissed her back.

Finally he drew back, his eyes shining brightly. He murmured, "Is that a yes?"

She smiled up at him, "Yes and no."

He frowned down at her, "What do you mean?"

"It means that yes, I will marry you." She pressed a finger against his lips, stopping him when he went to kiss her again. "But not until after we've reclaimed Erebor."

He protested, "Bella."

She shook her head, feeling joy bubbling up in her. "I'm not going to run away. I don't want to rush into marriage with you simply because of circumstances. I love you, my Fili. I want to be wed with all of your family around us and that includes your amad. I'm not going to change my mind and I doubt you are either, stubborn dwarf. So weave a betrothal braid and then let's finish this so we can get married." Seeing that he was going to protest again, she teased, "Call it incentive."

He grumbled but couldn't stop his grin, joy and love shining brightly in his eyes. He picked her up and spun her around, laughing. She clutched at his shoulders, remembering abruptly that they were on a barge in the middle of a lake. Sensing her brief flash of fear, he set her back on her feet, his eyes apologetic. She brushed a light kiss over his lips, pulling away before he could respond. "Braid now, more kissing later. Kili's looking rather green around the gills and I don't know if its from the water or from us kissing."

Fili plopped down on the deck and pulled her into his lap, rolling his eyes while Kili teased, his expression pinched with pain but still happy for them, "Definitely you two kissing. I'm an impressionable young dwarf here, what would amad say?"

Carefully undoing her courting braid, Fili shot back, "She'd say that it's about time that one of us got our act together and found a pretty girl to settle down with."

The brothers would've kept bantering, but Bard harshly hushed them, warning them that they were getting close to Laketown and that sound carried farther over water. They all fell silent, anticipation coursing through them. But for the first time in days, Bella felt happy and at peace.

* * *

Setting aside the quill, Bella reached up and ran her fingers over her braid, a long running habit. Her father had been right about following her heart. She knew that many others in her place would've wished that they'd never met the dwarves, never had to experience such heartbreak. But she couldn't regret a single moment of her time with Fili. The only thing that she would regret was if she had never met him, nothing else.

She thought of him traveling to wed a dwarf maid and sighed. Even that she could not regret. As long as he was happy, it was all worth it. She could understand better now why her father let her mother travel whenever the fancy struck her. When you loved someone, you just wanted their happiness. She smiled, looking at her mother's portrait. And she was more her mother's daughter than she had ever thought. As a girl, respectability had been so important to her. But as her mother knew and she had come to find out, respectability is a poor substitute for true happiness. Her mother had searched the world for beauty and found it in unexpected places, but she had always returned to them to share it. That was a gift that she was just now coming to recognize.

Maybe, in a decade or two, she would follow her mother's footsteps and leave the Shire in search of beauty. She had the feeling that her parents would understand.

* * *

Fili woke slowly, feeling more content and at peace then he had been in weeks. He might've been tempted to linger, but as memories of the dream came back to him, energy blazed through him. Climbing out of the bedroll, he stood and stretched, unable to help the grin on his face. Kili brought him a mug of coffee, his expression disgruntled. He grunted, "Why are you so cheerful? You've been in a mood for weeks."

Fili's grin widened, "I had another dream last night."

Yawning widely, Kili grumbled, "Goody for you."

Tauriel joined them and dropped a kiss on Kili's head, laughing at his pout. "Nin meleth, you are cranky this morning. And what has you so cheerful, muindor?"

Sipping appreciatively at the coffee, he said, "I had another dream last night."

Her eyes lit up at this and she smiled at him, "It must have been a good one. What did your dream show you?"

His grin softened, remembering. "It was after we had escaped. Kili had been injured and we had barely escaped the orcs. We had made it safely to shore only to be threatened by Bard."

Tauriel looked startled at this, "The king of Dale?"

Fili nodded, "He was the one in charge of retrieving the barrels. Well, we finally got him to agree to take us to Laketown. As we were heading to Laketown, I learned that hobbits cannot swim. I had come so close to losing her again and I didn't even know it. We had a fight." He felt a small flash of fear at how close he had come to losing her once again.

Tauriel frowned at that, "That doesn't seem to be a good dream."

He smiled, "I was scared and lashed out, she was the same. And I realized that I didn't want to spend another moment without her, not when I had already almost lost her so many times. I asked her to marry me, she said yes."

This woke Kili up and he stared wide eyed at Fili. "Are you married?"

Fili stared at him, the full realization suddenly sinking into him. He stuttered, "I don't know."

Kili looked at him, sympathy and frustration warring on his face. "What do you mean?"

"Bella agreed to marry me, but only after we had reclaimed Erebor. Said that she wanted our entire family there, including amad. But I still don't know what happened before I woke up after the battle."

Kili and Tauriel exchanged glances, seeming to hold an entire conversation in a matter of moments. Finally Kili said, "I wouldn't worry about it. You haven't even looked at another, so even if you are married, you haven't strayed. And if you aren't, you should still be happy. She said yes to you. Even before you knew you were Ones. It's going to work out, nadad."

Fili nodded, his spirits lifting at the reminder. Suddenly he remembered and pulled out the sketch. He motioned for Kili to turn around. Kili grumbled but did as he was asked and Fili used his shoulder as a surface to draw on. He quickly sketched a charm of a tiny spiderweb and then another of a barrel. He studied it closely, absently telling Kili that he was done. Both Kili and Tauriel crowded close and examined the sketch.

Tauriel said approvingly, "It is a beautiful piece, I can't wait to see it created."

Kili grinned at him, "She's going to love it, I just know it."

Fili stared at the sketch. He said quietly, "There are spots for two more charms."

Tauriel asked curiously, "Does that mean that your story is almost complete?"

He felt hope warring with fear as he answered quietly, "Yes and no. The quest is almost complete. But our story? I hope that it's only beginning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sindarin  
Nin meleth - My love  
Muindor - Brother
> 
> Next chapter - A brief stop in Laketown to prepare for Erebor, the dwarves are almost to Rivendell


	24. Laketown, a quiet moment, and a hidden door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both sweetness and angst ahead, enjoy!

Bella scurried into Bag End, slamming the door behind her with her foot, her arms laden with her purchases. All of the omens had forecasted an early spring, but the wind was downright icy out there and the clouds seemed to promise yet another round of snow in the near future. She made her way swiftly to the kitchen, sighing as the warmth washed over her. Setting the bundles on the table, she moved over and stirred up the fire, adding a fat log to it.

She had only been gone maybe an hour shopping for a few necessities, but the wind had chilled her to the bone. Listening to the wind pick up and howl about the eaves, she was happy that she had decided to come straight home instead of stopping at the Green Dragon for a pint. This was not a night to be out and about on. Draping her scarf, gloves, and coat on one of the kitchen chairs, she mentally promised herself that she would put them away properly later. She then put together a shepherd's pie and put it in the perfect position in the oven to slow bake in order to allow the flavors to really meld while it cooked.

Putting away the other few odds and ends that she had bought, she scooped up her coat and accessories and made her way out to the hallway. She sighed as she glanced at the door, wishing wistfully for a knock and a dwarf to be waiting on the other side. She was so tired of being alone. Shaking herself briskly out of her melancholia, she hung up her coat, tucking her scarf and gloves in the pocket. No need for moping, she was whole and healthy, had a warm home and a hearty meal on the way. She was just fine.

Making a brief detour to the den, she grabbed the journal and headed back to the kitchen so she could keep a weather eye on her dinner. There would be no guests anyway, not with the way the wind was howling, so it was no use heating up the parlor anyway. No, this was an excellent evening to stay in, eat a hearty supper, and write.

* * *

Bella was still puzzled how they had ended up feasting at the grand hall with the greasy master of Laketown and his equally repulsive assistant Alfrid, a toad of a man if she had ever seen one. Bard had done his best to smuggle them in and keep their presence low key, but plans that the company made often went astray, usually when one Thorin Oakenshield was involved. So here they were, feasting and being feted as heroes and harbingers of future wealth. 

Bard was understandably upset, worried about them waking the dragon and bringing Smaug's wrath down on them. She had seethed when the master had publicly shamed him for his ancestor's actions. And she was deeply disappointed in Thorin. He could've soothed Bard's worries or at least acknowledged them as valid fears from a man that had done his best to assist them, but he was too busy grandstanding trying to get support for the cause of reclaiming Erebor that was consuming him more and more every day.

Bella had wanted to pull Bard aside, to beg his forgiveness and understanding, to share how desperate the dwarves of Ered Luin's situation truly was. But loyalty to the company stayed her tongue and she knew that Bard would not heed or hear her words anyway, not after being shamed like he had been. So she had watched silently as he stormed off and prayed for Yavanna's protection over him and his family, who had been so kind to her and the company.

As the feast continued, Bella secluded herself in a corner, not liking how the master was leering at women. She wasn't sure that he even realized that she was female and she was doing her best to keep it that way. Kili had joined her, clearly feeling miserable and needing a break. Oin had done what he could for him, now they were in the wait and see mode. She didn't speak, figuring that he would talk if he wished. He shot her a grateful look and relaxed back against the wall, his eyes closing although she doubted that he was truly resting.

Bifur joined them shortly after that, clearly fed up with the clamor of the noisy feasting hall. He leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest in a clear guarding stance, grumbling in Khuzdul under his breath. Wishing that she could do something for her friends and feeling utterly useless, she quietly hummed a Shire lullaby, trying to soothe them.

Gradually Bifur relaxed enough to sit on the other side of Kili, although he still glowered at the feasters. Without opening his eyes, Kili reached over and took her hand, squeezing it gently. He murmured, "I'm really glad that you said yes to Fili. You make him happy and I've always wanted a sister. I think that you two are good for each other, balance each other well."

She squeezed his hand back and leaned her head briefly on his shoulder. "I really do love him and for some reason he loves me too. And I always wanted a brother, it was lonely being an only child. But if I had to pick someone to be my brother, I would definitely want it to be you. Is there anything I can get you?"

He shook his head slightly, "No, I just want to sit quietly here."

A minute or two later, Fili made his way over, his expression anxious, "What are you both doing hiding over here, you should be eating."

She shrugged, "I don't like the master and Kili was kindly keeping me company."

Fili stiffened, "Has he said or done anything?"

Bella shook her head instantly, "No, but I don't like the way he leers at women. There's just something wrong about him."

Fili frowned but couldn't really refute her observation. He glanced around, taking in the crowded room. He offered quietly, "Would you like to go for a stroll, get some fresh air?"

She really wanted to, but hesitated, not wanting to leave Kili alone when he wasn't feeling well. Kili murmured quietly to her, "Go ahead, I'm fine."

Opening his eyes, he told Fili, "I'm just going to stay here with Bifur and rest. But you had both better be back in short order, don't linger, it's not proper."

Bella chuckled slightly at Kili lecturing Fili on propriety, although it warmed her heart that he was looking out for her. Fili offered her his hand and she allowed him to pull her to feet. She murmured just loud enough for the two princes to hear. "We'll be back soon, just need a couple of minutes away from this craziness."

Kili muttered, "You better." He then closed his eyes and settled back against the wall, faint pain lines bracketing his mouth and eyes.

Bella frowned worriedly but didn't say anything, instead slipping her arm through Fili's and allowing him to lead her out into the crisp night air. Once they were away from prying eyes, he rearranged their hands until they were walking hand in hand, their fingers woven together. She felt her muscles relaxing as they strolled, the tension that she had carried since freeing the dwarves slowly seeping away.

He seemed content to just stroll in silence with her, seeming to draw comfort and strength from her presence. She studied him in the dim light of the lanterns that they passed. Finally she saw a bench that sat overlooking the water, relatively private but still public enough that it would be all right for them to be alone at. She tugged him over to it and he amicably followed her over and sat when she indicated for him to.

However, she didn't sit, struggling not to pace. Finally she took a deep breath and said, "Fili, we need to talk."

Panic flashed over his face followed by disappointment before he carefully shielded his expression. He was quiet for several moment before meeting her eyes and saying softly, "Is this about earlier? Did I rush in too early?"

She looked at him, puzzled. before her brain caught up and her expression morphed into a horrified one, "Heaven's no! Of course not, Fili! I'm incandescently happy that you want to marry me. I promise you, I'm not going to change my mind."

He reached out and gently grasped her hands from where she was twisting them together nervously, "Then what has you so distressed, amralime?"

She took a deep breath, gathering her courage, before finally speaking, "I don't know how to say this tactfully, so I'm just going to say it. Fili, you're fuzzy."

Now it was his turn to look baffled. Running his thumb over her knuckles, he said slowly, "I don't understand what you're trying to say, Bella."

His touch steadied her and she offered him a small smile. "I'm making a muck of this, I'm sorry. You need to redo your hair. The trip down the river left it rather, untamed. I know how particular dwarves are about their hair, but we haven't really had a moment to set all of you to rights yet, things have been rather crazy. Plus." She could feel her cheeks heat slightly. "If it's not too brazen, I would like to learn how to care for your hair like you've cared for mine." Her blush deepened and she looked down at their joined hands before looking shyly back up at him. "Not to mention that I want you to have a betrothal braid as well, to let the world know that you are mine."

He froze, his eyes locked on her, burning with need and love. He stared at her for several heartbeats before blinking and swallowing hard. Carefully releasing her hands, he said hoarsely, "I would be honored to have you help tend my hair. Here, I've got a comb somewhere." Dragging his eyes away from her, he started digging through various pockets in search of his elusive comb. Finally finding it, he held it up with a triumphant smirk.

She reached out and took it, allowing her fingers to gently brush his and linger for a moment. She motioned for him to turn so that he was sitting sideways on the bench before moving up behind him. He set about tidying up his mustache braids while she carefully undid his main braids before gently drawing the comb through his golden mane. He froze under her touch when she just started before gradually relaxing as she delicately worked out all of the knots and tangles. Once she was completely satisfied that she had gotten all of the tangles out and it was as smooth as silk, she had him guide her through creating his braids.

Once she had clasped the last clasp in place, she reluctantly allowed him to create his own betrothal braid, the intricacy of it well beyond her current skill level. Once he had finished it, she ran a tentative finger down it, marveling at it. She couldn't help smiling at him and he grinned at back at her before standing and saying rather breathlessly, "We'd better head back inside, before they send someone looking for us."

She sighed and reluctantly agreed, slipping her hand into his. She admitted quietly, "I wish that it could just be like this forever. I can't help but feel like something awful is going to happen and that we won't be able to do anything to stop or prevent it. There is a shadow looming and it's going to eclipse us all."

He stopped and turned to face her, using his free hand to gently cup her chin and lift her face to meet her gaze. His words were just as quiet as hers had been, "I'm not saying that there won't be challenges, love. But we have to cling to hope, otherwise evil will win before we even begin. When I set out on this quest, it was to secure our people's future, their happiness and security. But now? Now I do this for us, to secure our future. And we have a future, Bella, even if I have to take on the Valar themselves to make it so. So take heart and hope, ghivashel."

She reached up and cupped his face, her heart so full she could barely speak. "I will hope for our future then. I love you, Fili. Our future together is something that I want more than anything."

He kissed her chastely, quickly pulling back. "You are my reason for living, love. Now, let's get back, I really don't want Kili to come looking for us. I'm worried about him, about that wound that he took. Orc weapons are notoriously filthy."

Bella nodded, "He's not doing as well as he'd like us to believe that he is. Let's hurry."

They quickly made their way back inside to where Kili was still sitting, his posture slumped and expression pained. He seemed to feel them watching him and opened his eyes, looking around. He offered them a grin, but it was a shadow of his normal one. He eyed them approvingly and teased, "Glad to see that you got your hair under control. You looked like a fuzzy duckling, nadad."

Fili scoffed, releasing Bella and going to sit by him. "As if you're any better, little brother. You're just lucky that your dark hair doesn't show it as easily." He pulled the comb back out and set about grooming Kili's hair.

Bella sat on his other side and took his hand, noting the lack of protest that the younger prince would normally make over Fili's fussing. She tried to distract him, "If you thought that he looked fuzzy, you should see my hair after a summer rainstorm. Hobbit hair is notoriously difficult and after a thunderstorm my hair is nigh on unmanageable. Part of why I kept it so short."

Kili frowned at her, "Your hair is lovely, namad. It's a shame that you've had to keep it short, but Fili will help you tame it until you manage to learn the knack. Won't do to have you running around with short hair. Ludicrous."

She snorted at that and reached out to check his forehead for fever. He was warmer than she liked, but he brushed it aside. "Don't fuss, it takes more than a small wound like this to slow me down. I'll be right as rain come morning."

Watching Fili carefully untangle his brother's hair, Bella prayed that Kili was right.

* * *

He was not better in the morning, but visibly worse. So much so that Thorin stopped him from boarding the boat, commanding him to stay behind. She would've applauded his care of Kili, if he had not phrased his command in such a way as to break the young dwarf's heart. "Not you, we must travel at speed and you'll slow us down."

Bella gaped at him, unable to believe the words that had just come from the king-in-exile. Kili didn't comprehend it as well as he gave Thorin an uncertain smile, "What are you talking about? I'm coming with you." Thorin's resolve seemed to suddenly fully sink in and he protested, "We said that I'd be there when the door was open, when when we first look upon the halls of our fathers."

Thorin shook his head and lowered his voice, "No Kili, stay here. Rest. Join us when you're healed."

Kili moved back, almost crumpling in on himself, his heartbreak plain on his face. Oin scrambled from the boat, scowling at Thorin. "I'm staying with the lad, my place is with the wounded."

Fili moved over to Thorin, his expression a mix of determination and upset, "Uncle, we grew up on tales of the mountain, tales you told us. You cannot take that away from him! I will carry him if I must!"

Thorin said sharply, "Fili! One day you will be king and you will understand. I cannot risk the fate of this quest for the sake of one dwarf, not even my own kin."

Fili glanced between Bella and Kili, obviously torn. She didn't hesitate, just said firmly, "Stay."

He went to go to the dock and Thorin grabbed his arm, hissing, "Fili, don't be a fool, you belong with the company."

Fili looked at Bella, his eyes begging her to forgive him as he said firmly, "I belong with my brother."

She offered him a tiny smile and small nod, unable to speak past the lump in her throat. His eyes seemed to promise that he would find his way back to her before breaking their gazes and turned away, yanking his arm from Thorin's grasp and joining Kili on the dock. As they slowly rowed away, Kili seemed to be distraught, gesturing for Fili to go while Fili just shook his head no firmly. Right before they rowed out of sight, she saw Bofur join their small group and let out a small sigh of relief that the hatted dwarf was at least alive.

Praying to Yavanna for healing and protection over the dwarves that she had come to love as family and especially on the one that claimed her heart, Bella slowly turned until she was facing forward, facing the mountain that held the fate of the dwarves one way or the other.

* * *

Thorin drove them hard, desperate to reach the hidden door before sunset. She scrambled along as best she could, but she was in poor shape after all of their misadventures and often lagged behind, much to their leader's displeasure. She ignored his disparaging comments, too caught up in dealing with the maelstrom of her own thoughts to bother listening to his angry tirades.

She was reeling over the fact that very shortly she was going to have to face a dragon. It had seemed all so far away when they had discussed it back in Bag End, but now they had reached Erebor, a miracle in and of itself, and she could not hide from her task any longer. Then there was Kili. He had looked so sick that morning, even though he was doing his best to be strong for Thorin and the company. She couldn't begrudge Fili for having chosen to stay with him, decades of caring and protecting his little brother ingraining the instinct in him. She only prayed that Kili was doing better. 

And she was loathe to admit it, but she resented Thorin greatly at this moment, for forcing Fili to have to chose between the quest or his kin. Not only doing that, but doing it in such a high handed and autocratic manner. Thorin had never been an overly demonstrative dwarf, but at the beginning of the journey, his love for his nephews was clearly evident. But he had become a dwarf consumed, obsessed with reclaiming Erebor. She couldn't see how his drive to fulfill the quest at all costs and his grandfather's gold sickness were all that different. She grimly prayed that she was wrong, but had a nagging feeling that she wasn't.

Not to mention that she missed Fili. She reached up and traced her betrothal braid. Somehow he had become her whole world in such a short time. He was supposed to be here beside her, hiding his concern behind teasing to lift her spirits, assisting her gallantly over the uneven ground. She had come to rely on his steady strength and strong heart. He was supposed to be here, he and Kili both, excitedly sharing with her the tales that the had grown up on about Erebor and it's marvels. They would boast about entering the lonely mountain and tell her how they would face Smaug singlehandedly, even though she was the one who was contracted to steal, um, liberate the Arkenstone from him. As the day passed, Fili's hand would get tighter on hers as his anxiety grew about her entering the mountain, but never so tight that it hurt. Yes, this was all wrong.

It was afternoon when they reached the base of Erebor and Bella flopped onto the ground, ignoring Thorin's bellow for them to find the hidden stair. She was breathing harder than she wanted to admit and was feeling slightly lightheaded. Crawling to her knees, she dragged off her pack and dug through it for a bite to eat. One of the dwarves called something and she looked up, trying to see what they were up to.

Instead of the dwarves, one of the enormous dwarven statues caught her eye. Something was odd about it. Focusing on it, she tilted her head and abruptly broke out laughing. The dwarves turned and stared at her like they thought that she'd lost her mind, but she simply pointed at the statue. Thorin ran over to look, grinning widely when he saw the stairs and told her that she had keen eyes. She rolled said eyes and took a hearty bite of the roll that she had pulled from her sack.

Thorin permitted them enough time for a drink and to grab some food and then they were off, climbing the numerous stairs. At least these stairs were sensibly sized, unlike those of the Carrock. The memory of Fili and Kili passing her back and forth while teasing surfaced but she pushed it firmly aside. She needed to focus on the here and now, find the door, enter the mountain, reclaim the Arkenstone, and then return to Laketown and those they'd left behind. That became her mantra as she climbed the never ending stairs.

When she finally reached the top, cursing stairs heartily, she saw Thorin running his hand over the rock, a reverent look on his face as he murmured, "The hidden door." But then he had to go and ruin it by turning around and smirking while holding up the key, boasting about how everyone who doubted them would rue it. Apparently she was the only one who didn't share the sentiment as the other dwarves roared their hearty approval.

The sun was swiftly fading so the dwarves started searching immediately for the key hole, their desperation increasing by the minute. Then Thorin called for them to break it down and they did their best, causing their weapons to break. Bella hissed her disapproval, having to duck the flying scraps of metal. Finally Balin halted that nonsense, informing them that such a hidden door could not be taken by force, powerful magic had been used in it's creation.

However, this endeavor had taken the last of the sun with it. Thorin's expression transformed into one of disbelief and he looked like a lost child. He cried no as the final sun ray faded. He read slowly from the map, his voice broken, "The last light of Durin's Day will shine upon the keyhole. That's what it says." He turned a pleading expression to Balin, needing his most trusted advisor's wisdom. "What did we miss, Balin? What did we miss?"

Balin looked like he had aged decades in mere moments. Sorrow filled his voice as he said quietly, "We've lost the light, there's nothing more to be done. We had but one chance." He turned regretfully away from the broken monarch. "C'mon lads, let's head back."

She called softly, her voice pleading, just above a whisper, "You can't give up now." 

They ignored her, heading for the stairs. Thorin opened his hand and let the key drop from his limp grasp and then turned away, pushing the map into her arms as he passed her. Fili's words the night before about hope came back to her and something within her snapped. Scooping up the abandoned key, she whirled and faced the departing dwarves.

Her voice firm, she drew herself up to her full height and called, "Come back here right this instant."

Thorin paused and looked back at her, bitterness in his voice, "It's over, burglar. Give it up."

She shook her head, feeling her braid tap lightly on her cheek. "No, get back here right now. We have not crossed half of Arda and survived everything that wanted to kill us only to crumple up at just another obstacle. Get back up here and figure out what happened and where exactly the door is. Tell me this, Thorin. Are you truly king under the mountain or simply a spoiled dwarfling who caves as soon as things become hard?"

He stormed back over to her, his eyes burning with rage. "How dare you? You have no idea what I have done for my people, the sacrifices that I have made, and you have the nerve to call me a weakling!"

The hobbit lass that she was at the beginning of the journey might've quelled at his anger, but the journey had tested her and reforged her into something new, something stronger. So she didn't back down an inch from his anger, remaining toe to toe with him. "You say that you have held your people together, no doubt through situations that others called impossible." She shoved the map back into his hands. "Take another look, figure out a way. Don't give up and walk away until you know that you have exhausted every last possibility, run through every possible scenario. I have followed you, prove to me that my faith in you was not misplaced. That I was not wrong in leaving my very heart behind to follow you up this mountain."

She abruptly became aware of the rest of the company was gathered in a half circle around them, watching the pair of them anxiously. Determination and a wary hope reentered Thorin's eyes and he turned to Balin, clearly planning on going over the map again. Feeling uncomfortable under the scrutiny of the other dwarves, she walked away over to the wall and started to examine it, although she honestly had no clue what she was looking for. A thrush landed by her foot and she greeted it quietly, having missed the wildlife around the mountain, all of it having been driven off by Smaug's presence. The thrush seemed to chirp a greeting back to her before picking up a snail and starting to smash it against a rock to break it's shell.

Hearing the low murmur of voices, she was trying so hard to hear what they were saying that she almost missed what happened. The thrush tapped again right as the moon came out from behind a cloud, it's cool silvery light illuminating the mountain side. If she hadn't been admiring the moonlight playing over the rock, she would've missed the appearance of the key hole.

Instead, she was so excited she could barely speak. She called excitedly, "Thorin, quick. The key! Moon, it's the moon." Thorin had started her way as soon as she'd spoken and she fairly danced out of the way as she cried, "The last light of Durin's Day is the moon. It makes so much sense, Durin's Day is the last full moon of autumn. It was moon runes of the map. Of course it's the moon."

Thorin stared at the key hole, relief and disbelief clear in his expression. Stepping forward, he slowly lifted the key and carefully inserted it, his breath whooshing out when it entered the mountain without issue. He turned the key and then pushed on the rock face, revealing a door that swung noiselessly open. Balin said shakily, tears in his eyes, "Thorin."

Thorin rested his hand on Balin's shoulder when the white haired dwarf couldn't continue. He met Bella's gaze, his eyes filled with both apology and gratitude. 

Dipping into her best curtsy ignoring the fact that she wasn't wearing a dress, her eyes never left Thorin's as she said warmly, "Welcome home, Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, king under the mountain."

This seemed to steal his breath and he looked away, but not before she saw a suspicious shimmer in his eyes. Releasing Balin, he breathed, "Erebor." 

As if unable to believe it, he tentatively stepped into the mountain, the first dwarf to do so since the mountain had fallen.

Bella hung back as the rest of the dwarves slowly filed into the mountain as well, staring at the open door in disbelief. They had done it, they had actually done it. They had made it to Erebor and managed to open the door. Now all that was left to do was steal from a dragon.

* * *

Bella carefully sanded the ink before closing the journal, her nose telling her that the shepherd's pie was just about ready. She shivered as she realized that the wind had picked up even more while she had been distracted with her writing. Rising to put away the book, she prayed that all travelers had found a safe place to hole up for this storm. It was promising to be a nasty one.

* * *

Fili and the rest had pushed hard to reach Rivendell before the storm broke, Bifur's head wound letting them know that it would be a serious one. They had pushed hard for two days, barely stopping to rest just long enough that their ponies didn't lame before continuing on. They reached the valley right as the wind picked up, the first snowflakes starting to fall.

The elves had welcomed them warmly and noting their exhaustion, had quickly led them to rooms to rest until the evening meal, with the option of having food brought to them if they were still weary. Fili had barely managed to pull off his boots and collapsed onto the bed before he was out. When he woke at last, several hours had passed and it was nearing evening.

Taking advantage of the bath to soak off the road grime, he thought back to his latest dream. He had forgotten how ill Kili had been, how worried he himself had been that he would lose his brother to an infected wound. He thanked Mahal yet again for sparing his brother's life and for his brother's One who had saved him. Looking back now, the early signs of Thorin's sickness were clear to see, but it had been hard to separate it all out from the stress of the journey at the time.

However, despite the danger and anxiety of that part of the journey, he knew that he would cherish him memory of his time with Bella in Laketown. When she had been so nervous, his heart had dropped to his feet, sure that she was going to tell him that their relationship was a mistake. Instead, he had been blessed with a gift beyond belief. 

Caring for another's hair was one of the most intimate gestures of care and love between a couple. He hadn't said anything to Bella, not wanting to pressure her when she was already so uncertain about their relationship. Instead, he contented himself with caring for her hair and promising himself that someday he would tell her about it. So when she had come to him and told him that she wanted to care for his hair, his heart had nearly beat right out of his chest. He could tell that she still had no idea of the depth of the gesture, something that made it even sweeter, oddly enough. She wasn't caring for his hair because it was something that couples did, she wanted to care for his hair because it was taking care of him. He would've gladly shaved himself bald at that moment if that's what she had wanted.

He sighed, letting his head fall back against the rim of the tub. Everything that he'd seen in his dreams had shown that they were truly in love with each other, even not knowing that they were Ones. So what had happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bella doesn't take no nonsense from anyone, lol. Also, it was odd seeing the dwarves so disheveled after their river trip, they were always so conscientious about their hair and attire.
> 
> You know, it never sat right with me, the dwarves giving up and walking away so easily. I mean, they hired a hobbit, crossed half of Arda, dealt with elves to get the moon runes read, fought off orcs, goblins, and wargs, locked up and escaped, all of it on a make your head hurt intense deadline. And then they're like, whelp, didn't work, we're off, laters. I guess it's supposed to convey despair, but I am a very stubborn person and I will do everything, including move the mountain, before I would give up.
> 
> Ahem, shuffles nervously. Sorry for the rant there, I'll be quiet now.
> 
> Next Chapter - One insufferably smug Smaug and Laketown burns.


	25. Don't Wake the Sleeping Dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies, Happy Valentine's Day (Just barely, but it still counts)
> 
> I can't believe that I've received nearly 7k hits, I am so happy, humbled, inspired and I feel so loved. Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Bella winced as she listened to the wind howling outside. She couldn't remember a late snowstorm this bad since the fell winter. They had been fortunate that this winter had been fairly mild by all accounts. This storm however was reminding them that winter was not over yet. She tossed another log on the fire before snuggling back into the thick quilt she had wrapped around herself. She didn't know if it was the storm or memories of Erebor causing her chill.

Wrapping her left hand around her steaming mug of cocoa, she opened the journal on her lap and started to write.

* * *

After several minutes of hushed excitement, the dwarves had made their way back out onto the doorstep. They quickly set up a camp, their spirits higher than they had been in weeks. That told her that even though they had gone through with the quest, deep in their hearts they had never truly expected to succeed. That made her heart soften. How hard must it be to leave everything behind in such a desperate journey? One that you embarked on to save your people but didn't truly believe would succeed? She studied the company idly, at least half if not more were old enough to remember when Smaug took Erebor. They would've seen the full might of Smaug, but still they had come anyway, which showed true courage in Bella's mind.

Sighing, she crept away from the group while they were busy preparing supper. Right now, they were in high spirits from finding the door into Erebor. But soon they would remember the task that lay before them.Over the course of the journey, she had grown very fond of the dwarves and they had softened towards her as well. But she had signed a contract and she still had a job to do. Having come to understand dwarven culture better over the journey, she had the suspicion that it would not sit well with most, if not all, of the company to send a female alone into danger. However, that was the sole reason that she had been included in the company and that had not changed, despite the changing nature of her relationship with the rest of the company. 

Pausing at the door, she peered back at the company gathered cheerfully around the fire. Even with all the dangers and trials that they had come through, she couldn't bring herself to regret joining the quest. She hadn't realized how dull and colorless her life in the Shire had become, how lonely, until an unlikely group of dwarves had burst into her smial and brought it back to life. Despite everything that people had said about dwarves, all of it ignorance, she had found a family in this diverse group. So even if she was most likely facing her own death, she couldn't regret it. She had seen more and done more in the past few months, found a family and found love, then she had done in the entirety of her life before. She was at peace, with whatever happened.

Slipping on her ring, she turned away and made her way into the tunnel. Before she'd even gone half a dozen steps, the voices of the dwarves had faded away to almost nothing. She marveled at the dwarven architecture as she walked. The sheer amount of care and detail that had gone into the creation and carving of this, a forgotten back hall, was mind boggling. It made her wonder what the rest of Erebor was like. If she was very quick and quiet and Yavanna blessed her, she might even someday find out.

She very carefully made her way through the hall, not having the eyesight of dwarves in the dark. She wished that Fili was there with her, encouraging her quietly as they walked towards the dragon. He wouldn't have been able to come all the way, because Smaug would smell dwarf, but he would've come at least part of the way. She could understand Thorin's anxiety and drive, but one thing that she did regret was not kissing Fili goodbye at the dock. If she died, it would've been nice to have had at least one final kiss from her heart.

She pushed that train of thought aside as unproductive. Instead, she tried to remember everything that they had told her about the Arkenstone, pulling up every tiny detail that she could remember. Thorin had described it minutely with awe and longing in his voice, Balin with practicality, and Dwalin with ill masked loathing, surprisingly. Still, she had the feeling that she would recognize it when she actually saw it. But first she had to establish was whether or not Smaug was still alive.

As she crept slowly through the dark, she gradually began to see a golden glow ahead. Gradually she rounded a corner and froze in shock. When Thorin and the others had talked about the treasury, she hadn't been able to picture much beyond a large chamber filled with gold and some jewels, maybe the size of Bag End. But this chamber could easily fit all of Hobbiton and then some. There were mountains of gold dotted with jewels, weapons and armor, and other mathoms. And she was supposed to find the Arkenstone somehow in all of this? Thorin and Gandalf were both mad!

Creeping down a set of stairs, she peered about cautiously in the gloom for any sign of Smaug. She couldn't see him, but that didn't mean that he was dead or gone. A strange rhythmic sound echoed through the chamber and she froze, holding her breath as she tried to figure out what the sound was. It was only after several repetitions and nearly passing out from lack of oxygen that she realized that it was the sound of something very large breathing. She cursed internally, several months of traveling with dwarves having greatly expanded her vocabulary.

That left her with only one option, she had to find the Arkenstone so that Thorin could call an army. Her dwarves were most valiant and brave and they would die to the last one if they tried to go against Smaug as things currently stood. Taking a deep breath and grabbing her courage with both hands, she carefully stepped onto the gold, wincing at the quiet clinking as the coins shifted under her feet.

She clenched her fists as a sickness akin to that of Mirkwood swept through her. However, where Mirkwood had felt like damp and decay to her, this was different, almost hot and scorching with a bitter metallic after tang. Still, sickness lay heavily on the treasure, no doubt because of Smaug. Gritting her teeth, she forced herself to take another step and then another. She could do this, she could find the Arkenstone and save her dwarves, give them their home back. She hadn't come all this way to flee at the final test. For once, both her Took and Baggins sides were in agreement, tied together by her natural stubbornness.

She climbed carefully over the mountains of treasure, closely examining every white stone she came across only to set them aside as not the Arkenstone. She moved slowly, trying to make no noise and disturb none of the mountains of gold and gems. The last thing she wanted or needed was to wake the dragon, especially where she had taken off the ring to see the colors of the gems instead of the greyed out world of the ring.

What she hadn't factored in though was her fatigue. She had been running on empty for days, little food and little sleep. She should've rested and come in fresh during the morning. She knew herself well enough to know that she wouldn't have slept though with the prospect of facing the dragon looming over her, so it wouldn't have helped anyway. She had been searching for a couple of hours, growing increasingly clumsier in her exhaustion. Finally she made the mistake that would be her undoing. 

Setting aside a large whitish gem, very nice but not the Arkenstone, she took a step without testing the firmness of her footing. She slipped slightly, just the barest of wobbles, but this triggered a landslide of coins that unearthed the sleeping dragon only mere feet away from where she stood. She clamped a hand firmly over her mouth, hastily smothering the squeak of surprise that escaped her. She dodged behind the nearest pillar, praying that Smaug hadn't woken. When she heard the sound of a waterfall of coins falling, she knew that her hope had been in vain and she had managed to wake the dragon.

Knowing that she only had a moment or two before he discovered her, she frantically fished out her ring and pushed it roughly onto her finger. She had barely vanished from sight when Smaug's head rounded the pillar, his reptilian eyes glowing with menace. He spoke and the words reverberated unpleasantly against her skin, "Well, thief! I smell you. I hear your breath. I feel your air. Where are you?"

She propped her hands on her hips, indignation coursing through her. Of course he could smell her, she hadn't had a proper bath in days unless one counted the dunking in the river, which she most certainly didn't. Not to mention that she had spent most of the day sweating and scrambling after dwarves who were most certainly made of stone like they claimed to be. Still, it was rude to tell a lady that she smelled.

He hissed again, "Where are you?"

Bella realized that he was much too close to her actual hiding spot and darted away, looking for a different bit of cover, one not so close to an upset dragon. In her haste to give herself space, she had forgotten about the coins and the ones displaced by her feet alerted Smaug to her actual location. He charged after her and only her smaller size allowed her to escape him and the avalanche of coins stirred by his passage masked her own, allowing her to dart to safety behind another pillar. 

He cast about for her fruitlessly and she carefully held her breath. A minute passed, then two, before he called, his voice coaxing, "Come into the light, little thief, and help yourself to the treasure. There is plenty and even some to spare."

She snorted silently at that, Smaug reminding her of nothing so much as Lobelia when she invited guests to tea. She always urged them to eat their fill, but after they had left and she had bullied Bella into helping her clean up, she would complain nonstop about how inconsiderate the guests were and how they always ate too much. Still, she had to figure out a way to get around Smaug and escape from the treasury, she could always try to find the Arkenstone another day, but she would be of no use if she were dead.

Keeping Lobelia firmly in her mind, Bella called in her sweetest, most polite voice, "I must decline, O Smaug the Tremendous, for I did not come to steal from you." Only to reclaim the Arkenstone, her mind insisted quietly. Carefully pulling off the ring, she stepped out from behind the pillar, taking care that she could dive back behind it if need be.

Smaug growled with satisfaction, "There you are, thief, I see you."

She dipped the best curtsy that she could in her pair of rather ratty trousers and reiterated, keeping her voice even and calm, "I did not come to steal from you. I only wanted to look upon you and see if you were as great as the old tales say." She shifted her tone into one of polite disbelief, one of society's greatest weapons. "In all honesty, I did not believe them to be true."

This irritated him and he stormed away several feet, rearing back and flaring his wings wide to display himself and roared, "And do you believe them now?"

A thrush peeped at her shoulder as she stared at Smaug in dismay. She muttered quietly to the tiny, brave bird. "Fly away, little one, save yourself. He has no weakness save a missing scale on his chest and we are both too tiny to take advantage of it. Live another day, for I fear that I shall not see the dawn."

Moistening her suddenly dry lips, she turned to Smaug who was waiting impatiently for her answer, not waiting to see if the bird heeded her or not. Striving to balance the right amount of deference and awe in her tone, she said calmly, "Truly, songs and tales fall utterly short of the truth that is you, O Smaug, the Greatest of Calamities."

Smaug settled back onto all four of his legs, his temper apparently soothed by her words. He studied her closely, "You have rather nice manners, for a thief and a liar."

Bella had to hide a grimace at this and bite her tongue, but he didn't seem to notice her grimace or the tiny glances she was stealing, trying to find a way out that wouldn't involve her getting roasted. She thought that she spotted a white gem of surpassing beauty, but Smaug was still talking, distracting her.

He inhaled deeply, "You seem familiar with my name, but I don't seem to remember ever smelling you before. Who are you and where do you come from, may I ask?"

Hiding another flare of irritation at the mention of smell as well as the tiny glimmer of hope that she might actually make it out of this, she said brightly, "You may indeed!" However, she didn't want to give her name to the dragon any more than she would've given it to the creature that was under the mountain that wanted to eat her. The memory sparked an idea as well as a bit of dragon lore that she remembered hearing about. It was said that dragons were as curious as cats, so maybe riddles would help her survive for a little bit longer. She said slowly, "I come from under the hill. And under hills and over hills has my path led me. As well as through the air, I suppose. I am she that walks unseen."

This seemed to intrigue Smaug and it was all Bella could do not to sigh in relief. Settling even more, he grumbled, his eyes intent upon her, "I can well believe that, but that is all hardly a name."

She shrugged and offered, "I am the clue finder, the web cutter, the stinging fly. I was chosen as the lucky number."

Smaug sneered, "Lovely titles! But lucky numbers are not always so."

Bella sighed, "I am she that drowns her friends and draws them alive again from the water. I came from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me." Just great, she was babbling nonsense now.

Smaug apparently agreed because he snorted and said, "Those don't sound as credible."

She scoured her brain, trying not to fidget, "I am a friend of bears and have flown on eagles. I am ring winner and luck wearer. Barrel rider."

At this, a nasty grin crossed Smaug's face and she froze, thinking that she had overplayed her hand. However, he merely said, "Very well, O Barrel rider, very interesting. But I have a question for you. Where are your little dwarven friends hiding?"

She immediately blanked her face, keeping her emotions under control. She repeated slowly, her expression puzzled, "Dwarves? There are no dwarves around here."

Smaug snapped, his temper immediately reignited, "Don't lie to me! They sent you in here to do their dirty work while they lurk outside, waiting for my treasure. I know the smell and taste of dwarf. No one knows better than I do those things! The gold draws them, like flies to dead flesh."

She didn't bother to stand still and listen to the rest of his tirade. Although what she caught was an impressive mixture or bombastic boasting of his prowess and threats against those that would take his treasure. But she was too busy running and trying to avoid the the flying treasure to listen to his vitriol. He tried to convince her that the dwarves only saw her as disposable, but she shrugged it aside, trying to find a safe hiding place and scoop up the gem that she was convinced was the Arkenstone. The dwarves might very well be using her, especially if Thorin's behavior of the past few days had been anything to go by.

However, with Fili's braid and bead tapping against her temple, she couldn't bring herself to buy into Smaug's lies. Fili loved her and wanted to marry her. If he had just wanted to make sure that she went after the Arkenstone, she doubted that he would've carried the charade so far as to kiss her and propose marriage to her. That just wasn't who Fili was, she knew it in her heart. So she would stay strong in her belief in the company and do her best to help them reclaim their home. That and survive her encounter with Smaug.

Bella groaned as she got knocked into a pillar. That last one was going to be hardest to accomplish. If she survived this, she was going to be black and blue all over come the morning. She scrambled to her feet, trying to keep her wits about her as she cast about for the Arkenstone. Smaug saw what she was looking for and said lowly, menace roiling through his voice, "I'm almost tempted to let you take it, if only to see Oakenshield suffer. Watch it destroy him. Watch it corrupt his heart and drive him mad!"

He seemed to consider it for several seconds while her stomach churned with terror and disgust, before shaking his head, "But I think not. Our little game ends here. Tell me, O Barrel Rider, how do you chose to die?" His chest started to glow with the heat of his flame.

Foolishness gripped her and she rolled her eyes. Reaching for her ring, she said boldly, "I choose to live another day, you egotistical windbag." 

She slipped on the ring and disappeared from view, scooped up the Arkenstone and slid it into her pocket, and ran like mad for the tunnel that she had come from. She felt the heat of the dragon fire lick at her heels, but somehow, miraculously, she managed to make it to the tunnel alive. Breathing hard, she pulled of the ring and focused on putting as much distance between her and the rampaging dragon as she could. She needed to get back to the doorstep and warn the dwarves that Smaug was awake and undoubtedly out for blood.

She was running up yet another set of stairs when she ran into Thorin making his way down. He cried, "You're alive."

She panted, "Not for much longer."

He asked her urgently, "Did you find the Arkenstone?"

She pushed the question aside, focused on a more immediate issue, "The dragon's coming."

He insisted, "The Arkenstone. Did you find it?"

She stared at him in disbelief, "No! We have to get out of here."

He blocked her way with Orcrist and she protested, "Thorin? We need to go. Thorin!"

There was a fey gleam in his eyes and he didn't lower his sword. Before he could say anything though, or she could smack some sense into him, the rest of the company and Smaug decided to join the party. Thorin's weird behavior was pushed aside as sanity returned to his eyes and then they were all running for their lives.

Later, Bella could never exactly figure out the order of events, only that Erebor was a very large place and that Smaug rampaged mindlessly through it in his quest to kill all of the dwarves. Thorin's troubling behavior of the past several days had disappeared and the capable leader that she knew he was reemerged. Still, she wondered how well his plan to drown Smaug in molten gold was thought through. After all, if his fire was hot enough to light the forges that melted the gold, there was little chance that the hot metal would actually hurt him. But it was better than the plan that Bella had, which was precisely none, and she prayed to all the Valar that it would actually work.

She could've wept when the dragon burst from the lake of burning gold, screaming about revenge and leaving Erebor to take his revenge on Laketown. She went to run after Smaug but Dwalin grabbed her arm and dragged her after him up to the battlements so they could see what was going on. Her hands scrabbled for purchase on the rough stone and the screams remained locked in her throat as she watched fire rain down upon Laketown. 

Eventually the dragon fell but her mind screamed, "Too late, too late, the cost is too high."

Dwalin tried to tug her away, but she shook her head. She would watch the results of her mistake, bear witness to what she had set into motion. He said quietly, his voice gruff but gentle, "Don't give up, lass. The boys are resilient and someone down there still lives, they shot down the dragon, after all."

She just shook her head, unable to speak. This was all because of her, she was the one who had awoken the dragon. Her heart wept bitter tears as she watched Laketown burn, dry eyed. She was the one who had killed her love, this was her fault.

* * *

The next few days passed in a gray blur of despair. Bella neither ate nor slept, just wandering through the halls of Erebor like a ghost. Each of the company except for Thorin tried to coax her to eat or sleep, but Thorin was riding them hard to find the Arkenstone in the treasury. She could've told him that she had it, but she couldn't muster up the energy to deal with his odd behavior and there was no way that she was going to hand it over while he was behaving like a lunatic. Soon, she promised herself, she would talk to him soon. She just needed a little bit longer to grieve her cheerful, blond beloved.

Thorin hadn't even inquired about his nephews and when several of the company wanted to head to Laketown to offer aid, he refused to let anyone leave the mountain until that cursed stone was found. She was highly tempted to spike the stone at his head when he said that and scream like a common fishwife, but her rage swiftly drained away, grief leaving no room for her to feel anything else.

It was the morning of the fourth day as she was wandering near the great hall, debating ignoring Thorin's orders, her contract was completed after all and he had no say over her anymore beyond that of friendship, when she heard it. At first, she thought that she was going mad, hearing the voices she wanted to hear, those of her companions left behind in Laketown to perish. However, she couldn't stop her foolish heart from hoping and her feet swiftly carried her towards the voice she was now certain that she heard.

She discovered the missing party right as they exited the great hall in search of the company. She froze, counting as one, two, three, four dwarves passed through the archway. They were all alive, they had all somehow survived. She tried to call their names, but all that came out was a hoarse croak. But the sight of Fili filled her with strength and she forced her body to move, screaming, "Fili!"

His head whipped around, his eyes meeting hers, and then he was running too. They met in the middle and he scooped her up into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair. She reveled in the warmth of his arms around her, the steady beat of his heart, the rise and fall of his breathing, all things that she'd never thought she'd get to experience again. She clung to him, murmuring, "You're alive, love. I can't believe it. I thought you were dead, Fili. You're alive!"

He pulled back and claimed her lips in a fierce kiss, one filled with desperation, devotion, and love. She kissed him back just as fiercely, reassuring herself that this wasn't a dream, that he was really here with her. After a minute, he gentled the kiss, softened it into one of reassurance and affirmation of their love.

It was Bofur's gentle teasing that finally broke through her focus and she pulled away, burying her face in Fili's chest as she laughed and shook, unable to help her reaction to the shock of finding him alive. He stroked his hand up and down her back reassuringly and she had the feeling that he was glaring at Bofur from the way the miner chortled merrily.

Rejoicing in the fact that they were all here and alive, she forced herself to pull away from Fili enough that she could see all of them. Fili was looking down at her, love and relief shining clearly in his gaze. Cupping his cheek, she traced a thumb over his cheekbone, noting the dark circles under his eyes. Clearly she had not been the only one thinking the worst. Brushing a brief kiss over his lips, she forced herself to turn away and look at the rest of the company.

Suddenly her wits returned and she realized that Kili was standing there, whole and hale. Grinning, she pulled away from Fili and hugged Kili hard. "You're all right, nadad! I was so worried about you. But how is your wound healed so well? It's been less than a week since we've parted.

"Kili hugged her tightly, relief and happiness shining brightly in his eyes. "I'm so relieved that you're alive, namad. We truly feared the worst. As for my injury, Tauriel healed it."

Bella raised an eyebrow, "The red headed elf lass, you mean?"

Kili nodded, his smile turning besotted, "Aye. She's my One, I just know that she is. I have never met another as beautiful, as incredible, as perfect as she is."

Bella just shook her head and pulled away from him, knowing that he would happily prattle on about his elf all day. Tucking away the unfamiliar term, One, to ask Fili about later, she quickly hugged Bofur and Oin in turn. Unable to help herself, she returned to Fili, sighing happily when he pulled her back into his arms. "I can't believe that all of you are alive and well. We feared you lost to the dragon."

Bofur was nervously twisting his hat in his hands as he asked, "What about the others, lass?"

She beamed at him, "Everyone's alive! Now that you've returned, we're all accounted for and the mountain has been reclaimed."

The dwarves all broke into relieved grins at that news, a burden falling off their shoulders. She wished that she didn't have to ruin their good cheer, but they needed to know what they were heading into. She said softly, unable to keep the quiver from her voice, "There's something you should know, first, before we join the others."

Fili lifted her chin so that she met his bright blue eyes, "What is it, amralime?"

She stared at him, trying to find the words to break it to him gently. "It's your uncle, it's Thorin."

Kili paled, his face tightening as he exclaimed, "What about uncle?"

Bella took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "He's not himself. He's become obsessed with finding the Arkenstone. He will neither sleep nor eat, insisting that he will do both when the gem is found. It is like he can think of nothing else, even though your home has been reclaimed."

Bofur said slowly, "I don't understand what you're saying, lass."

Bella grimaced, her eyes pleading to Fili to be careful, "You'll understand of what I speak when you see him. I cannot explain it any more than I just did. There is nothing that I can pinpoint, he's just not himself, not anymore."

Fili pressed his forehead to hers. "We'll sort it together, love. The hard part is done, the dragon is dead and we'll all survived, thank Mahal. Everything else we can make do. Now come, show us to our kin."

Bella nodded reluctantly, apprehension weighing heavily on her. Still, weaving her fingers together with Fili, her heart was lighter than it had been for days. Leading them towards the treasury, she allowed herself to hope, just a little bit, that everything would be all right after all.

* * *

Bella set aside the notebook and stared into the crackling fire. Nothing on the journey had truly prepared her for Erebor and Smaug. Someday, should Gandalf ever show his face to her again, she would scold him most heartily for thinking it a wise idea for a hobbit to face down a dragon. She chuckled, suddenly certain that Gandalf had never thought that she would actually face Smaug herself. He had expected her to creep in like a wee mouse and determine that yes, the dragon was still alive and then use her common sense and flee.

She sighed. Things had gone awry on the quest, more than anyone, even a wizard, could've ever anticipated. There had been circumstances and items in play that no one truly recognized the seriousness of until much too late. That they had all survived was truly a Valar given miracle. But she had been such a fool, thinking that a dragon was the worst possible thing that she could face. There were other, much more insidious dangers that she did not know existed. These were the ones that would eventually break her heart.

Tracing the rim of her empty mug, she chewed her lip as she remembered how much she grieved what she had thought was Fili's death. It had been unbearable, unendurable she had thought at the time. The relief that she had felt when she'd seen him had removed the last bit of doubt lingering from Smaug's poisonous words, reassuring her that it was love for both of them and not just necessity or convenience. Still, it was amazing how one can adapt and endure what one once thought impossible to survive. She had believed, truly believed, that she would never survive losing Fili. She was both wrong and right, she had not lost him to death as she once feared, but she would never see him again in this life. Was that better or worse than the pain that she had felt upon thinking him lost in Laketown.

Setting the mug aside, she stood resolutely to head to bed. She was being maudlin. It was definitely better, because he was still alive. That was worth all of the pain on her part. Besides, she smiled tiredly, even if they didn't meet in this life, they would still meet in the next.

* * *

Fili chafed at being stuck in Rivendell. Although it was pleasant in the hidden valley, a blizzard raged beyond it's borders. Elrond had told them that it would last a week and would be another few days until they could travel safely. Bored out of his mind and worried about the lack of soul dreams, on the third day he begged the use of the elven forges. At least while he waited, he could work on Bella's first gift.

The rest of the group left him alone, knowing the importance of the gift. He was pleased with how it was coming together as he worked carefully, making sure that every little detail was correct.

It was on the fifth night in Rivendell when he got another soul dream and Kili awoke in the middle of the night to find him sketching feverishly. Pulling himself reluctantly from the bed, he made his way over to the tall desk were Fili was. Yawning, he asked, "So, what was this dream about? What's the charm?"

Fili held it up briefly so that Kili could see. "Smaug. The dream was how she riddled with him and found the Arkenstone."

Kili leaned tiredly against the desk, "She riddled with the wyrm? You're beloved is either brilliantly brave or insane, nadad."

Fili scowled, "She is brave beyond belief but she has no care for her own safety. I swear, when I find her, I'm going to wrap her in wool to keep her safe."

Kili's eyes widened at this and he teased, "If she faced down trolls and a dragon, I don't think that she's going to be willing to be wrapped in wool."

Finally setting aside the pencil, Fili faced him and said plaintively, "I just want to know that she's safe, that she's alive and happy. I want to hold her in my arms and never let her go. I want her to hold me back and tell me that everything's going to be ok and that she loves me." He ran a hand tiredly over his face. "Am I expecting too much? I don't even know why she left."

Kili reached out and squeezed Fili's shoulder gently. "You're not asking too much, it's what every dwarf longs for. But I do know three things, Fee. One, your Bella is alive. Two, she still loves you and wants you. If neither of these things were true, you wouldn't be having the soul dreams."

Feeling his heart lighten, when had his baby brother gotten so wise, he asked, "What's the third thing?"

Kili tugged him up and led him back over to his bed, "That whatever happened, whatever caused her to leave and return to the Shire, she didn't want to leave you. I don't know what happened, only that something did. But from everything you've dreamt about and told me, I can't see her voluntarily leaving you. Ever. Now get some sleep, you need to finish your first gift before this storm lets up enough to travel."

Fili grumbled but obediently lay down, pulling the covers back over himself. Remembering how tightly she had held him when he had reached Erebor, the shock and relief in her eyes, he knew that Kili was speaking the truth when he said that she would never leave him on her own. Closing his eyes, he prayed for happier dreams, of dreams of him and Bella reunited once again, before allowing sleep to claim him entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains large parts of the movie and the book for Smaug, which belongs entirely to Tolkien and Peter Jackson. I'm just privileged to dabble around in the fantastic world they created.
> 
> Next Chapter - The final charm revealed, Fili finally learns about the depth of Thorin's gold madness, and the end is nigh (although still a few chapters off, lol)


	26. A Broken Erebor

Bella pulled her shawl closer around her shoulders as she listened to the wind whistling around the smial. Although it was the fifth day of the blizzard, she could tell that it was nearly finished. It wasn't howling like it had been over the past few days, but sounded like the tired faunt who had finally exhausted themselves with their crying fit and would soon fall asleep, only a last few hiccuppy sobs or in this case wind gusts, before falling completely silent.

Drumming her fingers absently on the table, she sighed. Although this storm had been a blizzard, it felt more like a last hurrah from winter rather than one that would linger around for days. As a matter of fact, very little snow had fallen, it had been the winds blowing around the existing snow that had kept them all confined to their homes. This told her that despite the snow, spring was just around the corner.

Her hand trembled slightly as she opened the journal. She had said that she would dispose of the book come spring. And indeed, she was coming to the end of the quest, but her heart broke at the thought of finishing the tale. As painful as it had been at times to write of, she truly treasured all of her memories from the quest. She shook her head firmly, just because she wouldn't be writing about them didn't mean that she would forget about them. That was just foolishness to think that. Dipping her quill in the ink, she started to write.

* * *

Bella wished that she could've eased the pain in Fili and Kili's eyes when they finally saw Thorin and understood what she was trying to say. He had been mumbling about gold beyond measure and wearing that ridiculous cloak that he had found and when he had seen them, he hadn't even bothered to greet them by name or inquire about their well being, instead, he had welcomed them to the treasure hoard of his grandfather and thrown an enormous ruby at Fili. Her heart had nearly stopped at that, unsure what he threw, and she let out a sigh of relief that it was just a gem. Sure, it was a ruby the size of a large chicken egg, but it was just a gem and nothing dangerous, like a dagger per se.

Thorin had wandered off after that, seeming to forget their presence entirely. She slipped her hand into Fili's and squeezed gently, trying to comfort him. She murmured, "Come on, I'll take you to the others. They've been worried about you."

She went to release his hand but he clung to it, which was fine with her, more than fine. Tugging gently on his hand, she lead them back the way that they came and down a side corridor that led to what she guessed was once the treasury guards barracks. It had been the easiest of rooms to clean out and set up a rough camp as they figured out what to do now that Erebor had actually been reclaimed.

She let go of Fili's hand and stood back, happiness welling through her as she watched the company greet the missing members enthusiastically. This was the reunion that she'd been hoping for with Thorin, she had hoped that the sight of his nephews would pull him from whatever it was that consumed him. But after nearly dying several times on the quest, the latest being while she faced down a dragon, she had come to treasure happiness wherever she could find it. Having her family together once again definitely fell firmly into the happiness category, especially where she had thought them dead. She winced as Oin and Gloin bashed their heads together grinning like loons, before laughing suddenly. Her dwarves were crazy but she wouldn't have them any other way.

Her laughter caught their attention and Bofur pulled out his pipe and started playing a merry tune, the good cheer infectious. Kili swept her into an energetic dance and she was relieved to see the light and life back in the younger prince's eyes. A few of the other dwarves pulled out instruments while the rest joined in the dance. She was passed back and forth until she was dizzy from dancing and laughing. She thought that she'd caught an odd echo a few times, like faint far off singing, but it could have been just as easily her imagination. As Fili swooped in and stole her yet again from her partner, she found that she was grinning so widely that her cheeks hurt. This was what a homecoming should be like.

* * *

She didn't know how but somehow Fili managed to convince Thorin that there were some things that needed to be seen to immediately, things that she had been trying to convince him of for days. While a pair of dwarves and Thorin searched the treasury for the Arkenstone, the rest of the company would break into two parts. Half would sleep so that they could take the night watch and duties while the other half worked at the tasks that needed doing. The pair of dwarves searching the treasury would be rotated every four hours, that way they could use all of their unique skills on fortifying Erebor and making it habitable before winter set in, only a month or two away at the most.

When Fili and Balin were drawing up the duties and rotations, she had admitted quietly to them how walking on the gold made her sick, the lingering miasma from the dragon still present. They had frowned upon hearing this and graciously removed her from treasury duty. Bella was relieved for two reasons. One, although the sensation from the first time she had stepped on the gold had eased in the dragon's absence, it was still present. Two, the Arkenstone still sat heavily in her pocket and she wanted it nowhere near Thorin or the treasury. Guilt gnawed at her for not telling them that she had the stone, but she truly feared for Thorin's sanity if she gave it to him. There was still a chance that he could overcome this, that he could beat the gold sickness, but her instincts were screaming at her that if she gave him the Arkenstone, they would lose him entirely. So she pushed down her guilt and did what she could to assist.

There wasn't a lot that Bella could do, lacking the natural strength and stone sense of the dwarves. However, there was still more than enough and then some work for everyone. Since Bombur was an architect, and hadn't that been a surprise to discover, his skills were highly needed so she took over the cooking and some cleaning. It had taken the better part of a day to get the kitchen cleaned up and functional. The smaller areas that Smaug couldn't fit into had fared better, so she just had to clean off the accumulated dust and clean up all of the broken glass and pottery that had obviously been shattered during the claiming of the mountain by Smaug.

As she worked, she came to greatly appreciate dwarven ingenuity. The company rotated through regularly and they often showed her how to use some of the devices that were so incredibly handy. No wonder they hadn't been overly impressed with her smial, although it was one of the grandest homes in Hobbiton. Once the kitchen was cleaned, she then started exploring the store rooms on the off chance that there was something useful or salvageable. Her spirits drooped as she found room after room of spoiled supplies, long past the point of being even slightly salvageable. If they didn't figure out something soon, the company would starve in the midst of unimaginable riches.

However, she couldn't help the happiness that sparkled through this time either. Despite the enormous load on his shoulders, Fili was being so sweet and caring. He checked on her several times throughout the day. Sometimes, he only stayed for a moment, squeezing her hand or even just smiling before returning to whatever task that he was doing. She would've protested that he didn't need to do these things, but those moments comforted her and Kili told her that it helped Fili as well, giving him the strength and hope to keep working.

Then there were the other, longer moments. Like on the second day after they had rejoined them. Fili had drawn her away from her tasks and led her through Erebor, ignoring her queries as to what he was doing. To her surprise, he led her to Erebor's gates and outside. She had gaped at the fact that the enormous hole that Smaug had created was mostly sealed up, a few members of the company finishing up the last little bits. Bofur had called cheerfully as they passed, "It's just a rough patch, lass, but it'll at least keep the weather out."

Bella had waved at him but just followed Fili, her hand nestled warmly in his. Once they were outside of Erebor and far enough away that nosy dwarves wouldn't be able to overhear whatever it was that he wanted to say, he released her hand. Closing her eyes, she tipped back her head and enjoyed the sun on her face, she hadn't been outside since Smaug had destroyed Laketown. She looked back down, only to find Fili frowning, his face tired and sad. She immediately crossed the distance between them and hugged him, "What's the matter, dear heart? Why do you look so sad?"

He hugged her tightly before abruptly releasing her and stepping away. He said quietly, "We need to talk, Bella."

It was her turn to frown, not liking his tone or expression. Settling herself comfortably on a bit of rubble, she settled her hands into her lap and nodded for him to go ahead, not trusting her voice at that moment. He paced for a moment before seeming to reach some sort of decision. He made his way over and knelt in front of her, his eyes warm and filled with a myriad of emotions. "Amralime, we need to talk. Ever since we began this quest, things have been crazy and even downright lethal at times. Truthfully, I don't know if any of us truly believed that we would ever be rid of Smaug, although we had to try, for our people. However, there was something that I never expected to happen, ever, but especially on this quest. I never thought that I would find my heart, let alone in a beautiful hobbit lass, one that is clever, kind, sharp tongued, brave, and so much more than I could've ever dreamed of. But because of this, because of the quest and the dragon looming over us, we've had to skip several steps in courtship."

He ran a hand through his hair but she didn't speak, didn't interrupt. She knew that this was very important to him, but she couldn't figure out where he was going. However, he was already speaking again. "I want, no, I need to ask you this. Despite everything, all of the dangers and trials that we've gone through, the fact that you're a hobbit and I'm a dwarf. Putting aside the fact that I'm a prince and all of Erebor." He waved a hand at the mountain dismissively. "And my uncle's odd behavior. Knowing that the future is still uncertain, no matter how much I would wish it otherwise. And." He swallowed hard before forcing out the words. "And choosing my brother over you that day. I have to know. Despite all of this, will you, Belladonna Baggins, be mine, Fili son of Vili? Will you be willing to forge a new life together with me, to face the future by my side as I will stand by yours? I brought you out here to ask you this, because should you chose to leave Erebor, I will walk away from it as well. We don't have to be bound by anything, beyond just you and me. So, will you take me as I am, a dwarf madly in love with a hobbit lass?" He reached into a pocket and held out a bead, one crafted of gold and emeralds.

She had covered her mouth while he spoke, trying to contain her happy tears. When he finished speaking, she launched herself at him, throwing her arms tightly around his neck. She murmured in his ear, half laughing, half choked up, "Of course I'll be yours, Fili. I already agreed to marry you. And if you ever apologize for watching out for your brother again, I will shave you bald myself. You are my heart, just as you are. But you also have to take me as I am, an odd hobbit with a temper and sharp tongue who is madly in love with you."

He breathed, "Always, love, always." And proceeded to kiss her thoroughly. They ignored the catcalls of the others (they had been watching, even if they couldn't hear), just reassuring themselves that the other was there and that this was real. After a few minutes, Fili had pulled back reluctantly, "We'd better head back inside before they come out here."

She shook her head, "Bead first. Where did you find it?"

He was focused on redoing her braid, "I didn't find it, I crafted it. I didn't take anything from the treasury, especially where it makes you feel sick. But amad had told us of the little workroom that she had when she was a lass in Erebor. It was in a section much too small for Smaug to get into, so it should be untainted."

She examined the bead in awe. "You crafted this, so quickly? It's beautiful."

He grinned shyly up at her, "I wanted to have a real bead when we talked." He handed her the wooden bead that he had carved and wove the golden one back into her braid.

She examined the other bead. "Can I keep this one too? I think it's beautiful and I cherish it."

He nodded, finishing the braid and kissing her hand, "Of course, love. We'll find you a chain to keep it on." He stood and offered her his hand. "We'd better get back to work, there's so much to do still."

Another time was a few days after that. He had come and fetched her right after dinner, a mischievous grin on his face. She had hesitated to go with him, knowing well the mischief that the two princes could get up to. It was only when he swore on his braids that it was a good surprise that she did agree to go. And what a surprise it had been. Somehow between all of his other duties, Fili had found a functioning bathing chamber that was supplied by a hot springs. He had turned shy when he was showing it to her, along with the soap and candles that he had found. He'd even found a heavier outfit to help her stay warmer that he'd talked Dori into altering for her. She couldn't stop her squeal of delight at the thought of finally being clean after so long and she'd hugged him hard.

He'd hugged her back, relief clear on his face. She teased him, "Surely you didn't think I could possibly be mad about all of this? Fili, you are an angel."

He grinned down at her, dropping a gentle kiss on her forehead, "I didn't want you to think that I was saying anything that I wasn't, I just thought that you would enjoy getting cleaned up after everything."

She nodded emphatically, "I still smell like lake water, fish, and dragon." She crinkled her nose, "This is a wonderful surprise, I'm sorry for doubting you." She brushed her lips gently across his before pulling away and going to test the temperature of the water.

He had smiled at her before turning and making his way out of the chamber. She had been slightly disappointed, they hardly got to spend any time together, but was too excited at the prospect of a bath to forgo getting cleaned up. However, he had settled just outside the door, leaving it cracked open. While she bathed, he had sung to her, Khuzdul songs that she didn't know, but were filled with beauty, sadness, hope, and triumph. In between songs, they had talked, just sharing little bits about their days and what they had found or done. She hadn't felt so cherished or seen in a long, long time, if ever.

That had been four days prior. She knew that she would cherish every moment with Fili like the dwarves seemed to cherish their gems. But that didn't mean that their situation wasn't growing more dire. They had food for maybe another week, but Thorin would not hear of any of them leaving the mountain in search of more food. She was frowning at their dwindling supplies when Balin entered the kitchen.

Her frown deepened as she looked at the white haired dwarf. He looked exhausted, dark circles under his eyes and his skin was pale. She urged him to sit and doled him out a enough of her carefully horded pipe weed for a single pipe. If any one needed it, the advisor did. He accepted it gratefully, sinking down onto the rough bench. "Thank you, lassie. Much appreciated."

She sighed and plopped down across from him, propping her elbow on the table and resting her head on her hand, ignoring the memory of how scandalized her father would've been at that. "I wish that I had something else to offer you, Master Balin, but supplies are tight. Still, if you need a listening ear, I'm available."

He puffed on the pipe silently for a minute before shaking his head, "Nay, lassie, the weed is treat enough, don't fret. Things will work out as Mahal wills. What about you? You've been doing an excellent job with the meals. Is there anything we can assist you with?"

Bella found herself once again charmed by the care dwarves had for females. Even when they were buried under their own work and cares, they watched out for her in their own ways. She nodded slowly, "Actually yes, I've been noticing something that I've been wanting to ask you about."

He sighed but nodded warily at her.

She fidgeted slightly, "I hope that after the quest, you realize how much I care for and respect all of you?" He nodded, frowning fractionally at her words. "So I hope that you understand that I mean no disrespect to you or dwarven culture when I ask my questions. But like I've said before, all of you are like kin to me and I'm worried and don't know how to word my questions politely."

His confusion clearing up, he nodded, "You faced down a dragon, lass. You've earned the right to ask whatever you want as bluntly as you'd like."

She smiled tiredly at him. "Thank you, I'll just go ahead and say it then. I'm sure you've noticed that Thorin isn't right, that the gold has a fierce hold on him, whether from the dragon sickness or some other ailment I don't know. But I've noticed that some of the company seem to be affected while others don't. Is there some way that I can help them, Balin?"

He straightened at that, his surprise evident on his face. "What do you mean, some are affected, while others aren't?"

She huffed a sigh, "Some of the company seem as obsessed as Thorin in the search for the jewel, I can't get them to rest or sleep. The others are running themselves ragged, trying to take care of the others and Erebor, but I can't figure out what the difference is."

He stared at his pipe for a minute, thinking about something before urging her, "Why don't you tell me who isn't affected and maybe we can figure out what is different."

She nodded, straightening as she thought over the company as best she could. "Let's see, of the Ur's, Bombur is completely unaffected, Bifur is fighting it although its hard at times if he's lost to the treasure or just his own mind, and Bofur has succumbed entirely, I can no longer draw him from the treasury at all, no matter how I plead."

Balin frowned at that, "You've been down to the treasury? I thought that it made you sick."

She picked at a splinter on the table, "It does, but I have to try. And the dragon taint is fading, albeit slowly. But no one will listen to me, it's like they don't even see me any more."

Balin sighed and the sound was laced with weariness, "Who else, lass?"

"Of the Ri's, only Dori is unaffected but he is deeply worried about his brothers. Nori seems to be skulking in all of the far corners of the treasury, the out of sight ones, digging frantically as if he expects that Smaug carefully hid the stone away. Ori seems entranced by the treasure as well, but it's more of a historical fascination. He'll dig up random pieces and spend hours examining and sketching them. Gloin and Oin both seem perfectly fine, although Gloin seems pleased with the idea of organizing the treasury, for some reason. However, his eyes don't have the same gleam, so I'm not worried about him."

Balin chuckled at that, "He's worked with money all his life, as a quartermaster as well as other jobs. He thrives off of order."

She smiled at that, not surprised at all to learn that about Gloin. "We all know that Thorin is not, well. Both Kili and Fili seem to be just fine though, although they're trying to do too much." She blushed lightly, "Fili's still courting me, even with all that's going on."

Balin grinned widely at that, finally relaxing, "Fili's a good lad. His amad will be proud to learn that he's treating you proper. You deserve to be courted with all respect, Miss Bella, no matter what nonsense those hobbits might have told you."

She was warmed by his words but protested, "But he's got so much else on his shoulders right now, I'm not some fickle miss that will disappear if I don't get coddled and constantly reassured."

Balin puffed contemplatively on his pipe, "No, you're working beside him to help create something new, which is the best way to build a strong relationship. But there's something that you need to understand about dwarves. Our females are so rare, lass. Many dwarves will never find their one in this life, their heart song. Because of this, the chance to court and maybe marry is the greatest gift that any dwarf can receive. It is rooted deep in us to care for and treasure our Ones, even if they are perfectly capable in their own right. It brings us much joy."

She drummed her fingers on the table, trying to remember something, an elusive thought. She snapped her fingers, "Kili said something the other day, that he was sure that he'd met his One. It sounded important but I don't know what he meant by that."

"Ones, lass, were created by Mahal to be our other half, to stand beside us through all of life's storms, for us to cherish no matter what else is going on. They complete us, comfort us, give us strength to keep going. That's what Ones are."

She chewed on her lip, "But what if Fili and I aren't? Ones, I mean."

Balin grinned widely at that, "I strongly suspect that you are. However, even if you are not Ones, love is always cherished by dwarves. And Fili loves you deeply. He was devastated when you fell in goblin town and you two weren't even courting yet. Speaking of which, that would explain why some of the company are rational and others aren't."

She studied him curiously, "What do you mean?"

"Bombur and Gloin are both married to their Ones. Oin, Dori, and Dwalin are all caretakers and protectors. The princes have both apparently found their Ones on this trip, and if that isn't a sign of favor from Mahal, I don't know what is." He paused and she waited, unsure if he would share why he was unaffected. He sighed, "I lost my One in the Fall of Erebor. After experiencing a bond, a real one like that, you can't be lured by anything else."

She reached out and wordlessly squeezed his hand, understanding the pain of loss. He smiled at her and gently patted her hand. "It was a long time ago, lass, and I'll see her again in the Halls. Is there anything else on your mind?"

She sighed, "The Arkenstone, Balin, the king's jewel. I have heard it called the Heart of the Mountain. How came it by this name?"

The royal advisor frowned at that, "I never questioned it, lass. Why do you ask?"

She murmured darkly, "If the Arkenstone is truly the Heart of the Mountain, and I cannot either confirm nor deny this because I know nothing about mountains. But if a heart of a creature is wounded, it will cry in distress, even as it lay dying. These cries will often draw in more predators. Tell me this, Balin. Was it the gold that drew Smaug or was it the weak wounded cries of a mountain that drew a dragon, a predator?"

Balin stared at her, his eyes as wide as saucers. She sighed, wishing she could lift the burden from all of her dwarves. "I'm sorry, Balin. I am frustrated, but I know that all of you must be even more so. Thorin is not well, and I know that you must've seen this before, if the rumors about his grandfather are true. So tell me this, if Thorin were to find the Arkenstone, would it cure him? Or would it simply drive him deeper into the madness?"

Balin shook his head sadly, "All the sickness cares about is power and the Arkenstone is the ultimate sign of that power. It would be best if the Arkenstone remained lost, lass."

Thorin wandered in moments later and they both froze, wondering if he was going to have one of his unreasonable fits of temper for them daring to even speak of the Arkenstone. However, he appeared to be as lost in his own world as ever. He made his way over to Bella and held out a shirt of some sort. She took it hesitantly, shooting a desperate look at Balin for help. Balin said quietly, "Is that mithril, Thorin?"

Thorin grinned, "Aye. It was made for Dis when she was a lass but she outgrew it. It won't do for the burglar to be injured after everything, my heir would never forgive me. The line of Durin must be secure."

Bella swallowed hard but obediently slipped it on. "It's beautiful, Thorin, thank you."

He nodded, pleased, and wandered away, undoubtedly back to the treasury to keep searching for the Arkenstone. She looked at Balin, "Should I even wear this? It belongs to the royals."

Balin smiled, tapping out his pipe and reluctantly standing. "Keep it, lassie. There's nothing stronger than mithril and it's light as well. It will bring Fili peace to know that you are safe from harm. Now, I'd best be getting back to work as well."

At that moment, Kili came running into the room, panting hard. "Men and elves are approaching Erebor. Thorin wants everyone on the battlements."

Sighing, she had a bad feeling about this, she reluctantly followed Kili and Balin to the battlements.

* * *

The talk, if one could call it that, went about as well as Bella could've predicted. She felt pity for Bard, he really was doing his best to care for his people and offer fair terms, to stave off a conflict that no one truly wanted. He just didn't realize that Thorin was beyond reason, beyond even honor sadly. She had stayed out of sight during this, but her heart ached and broke over the hopelessness of this situation.

As soon as Bard had left, Fili had grabbed her hand and marched away from the others, his face set in a stoic mask. He took her to a side hall that had been decorated to look like the night sky. It flitted briefly across her mind that it was amusing how the dwarves decorated things like the outside world that they disdained going into at times. However, the thought was quickly pushed aside.

Once he was satisfied that they were alone, he dropped her hand and paced away, obviously trying to control his temper. She took in his armor, all of the dwarves had worn it now that she thought about it, and a shiver of fear ran through her. Wrapping her arms tightly around her waist, she couldn't keep the quiver from her voice, "Fili, I'm scared."

He immediately came over and wrapped his arms around her, soothing, "It's all right, I'll protect you."

She shook her head violently, pushing back far enough so that she could see his face, "No, Fili! I'm not scared for myself, I'm scared for you! This doesn't have to happen, we could all sit down and reach an accord, we really do owe the men, although we owe the elves nothing. But Thorin is sick and he won't see reason. We're almost out of food and all he can think of is that stone. If he forces this, if all of them force this, there's not enough of us to fight them off. I could lose you, all of you. I don't want to lose another family."

He framed her face with his hands and gently rested his forehead against hers. She carefully examined his eyes, but she could see fear and uncertainty in his gaze as well. She covered his hands with her own, smaller ones and whispered, "What are we going to do, Fili?"

He said quietly, "I know that the men have fair claim, although it infuriates me that they would threaten to march on the mountain." She met his gaze uncertainly and he shook his head. "I could care less about the gold, but you, my heart, are my greatest treasure and the thought of harm coming to you terrifies me."

She felt shame wash over her for doubting him, "I'm sorry, Fili. I shouldn't have doubted you."

His eyes warmed and he managed a tiny smile, "It's this mountain, it's messing with all of us. I wish amad was here, she would smack some sense back into Uncle."

Bella wove her hands together with his and pulled them down. She smirked up at him, "I could try, although I'd probably need a stick of some sort, lest I break my hand. You dwarves are awful hardheaded, after all."

He laughed at that, "We were carved from stone, amralime." He sighed, weaving his left hand with her right and starting to slowly walk down the hall obviously needing to move and expend some of his anxious energy. "We just have to be patient. No one besides Balin, Uncle, Dwalin, Kili and I know this, but Dain is on his way and should be here any day now. Once he is here and we are not so outnumbered, maybe Uncle won't feel so cornered and will negotiate with Bard."

Her heart hammered and she sighed. This was not the news that she wanted to hear. The more dwarves there were, the more overconfident Thorin would become. She murmured, "I wish Gandalf was here."

His face was grim but his grip was gentle on her hand, "We just have to hold on, love. Things will work out, they have to. We didn't come this far for nothing."

She squeezed his hand and leaned against his shoulder briefly before straightening. She prayed to Yavanna that it was truly so and that everything would work out.

* * *

Things did not work out, Thorin growing more irrational and paranoid by the hour. He had the company running themselves ragged creating defenses for Erebor, ranting about how all elves and men were thieves after the Arkenstone and treasure. By turns he would accuse the various members of the company of planning to betray him then turn around and tell them how they were all he had and how he would never allow Erebor to fall into other hands. It made her sick to her stomach and her heart broke a little more each time he spoke.

Finally, she knew that she could not allow this to continue. She was certain down to her very soul that if things continued as they currently were, then the entire company would be lost and Erebor forever forsaken. She wanted to weep but would not allow herself to. Maybe the reason the Valar had sent her on this quest was not to steal the Arkenstone from Smaug. Maybe it was for this moment in time, to save the dwarves from themselves and to ensure that the line of Durin did not end here, alone, in this mountain that they had fought so hard for.

So she carefully bided her time, being careful not to draw any attention to herself and her plans. Instead, she helped with what little she could and discreetly rounded up the supplies that she needed. Finally, after dusk had finally fallen, Thorin had allowed that things were as ready as they could be for the moment and dismissed them to rest, so they would be fresh for whatever the elves tried on the morrow.

The entire company were dead on their feet and stumbled over to the sleeping area that they had set up. Fili had asked her tiredly if she was coming and she had kissed him before reassuring him that she would be there shortly. After double checking that everything was ready to go, she made her way back to the sleeping chamber and stretched out on her sleeping roll. It wasn't until she settled that Fili finally closed his eyes and allowed sleep to claim him, his snores starting up moments later. Her heart both warmed and broke at the same time. She breathed deeply, struggling not to cry.

Gradually the rest of the room succumbed to sleep, the snores that she had come to identify over the course of the quest letting her know when they'd all fallen asleep. With a sigh, unable to put it off any longer, she rose and tiptoed from the room, pausing only long enough to press a kiss to Fili's forehead and murmur, "I pray that someday you'll forgive me for what I do." Grabbing the pack that she had left tucked into an out of the way alcove, she made her way to the battlements. There she pulled out the longest length of rope that she had been able to find and tied it securely to a ring by the battlement edge, silently thanking Nori for teaching her all about knots. Satisfied that it was secured, she slipped over the side and vanished into the night.

* * *

The elves and men weren't hard to find, camped in the nearby ruins of Dale. She slipped carefully through the sentries, inwardly amused and concerned by how easy it was to circumvent them. Yes, she didn't want to be caught, but what if there truly was an enemy out there? She shrugged the thought aside, that was a problem for another day. First, she needed to find who was in charge of this, preferably Bard. He seemed to have commonsense and she couldn't sense the greed in him like she had in the master of Laketown and the elven king.

She was heading for the most elaborate tent when she thought that she heard a familiar voice. She slipped closer to find Gandalf talking with the very man that she was looking for. Bard's words were filled with pragmatism, "It will not come to that, this is a fight that they cannot win."

Bella said coolly, drawing her emotions close around her and concealing them like she did around her disliked relatives, "That won't stop them. You think that they'll surrender? No, they will fight to the death for that which they consider theirs and defend their own."

Both men spun to face her and relief crossed Gandalf's face, "Belladonna Baggins, you're a sight for sore eyes."

She moved forward and allowed the wizard to hug her, relief and concern mingling in her. She had gotten her wish and Gandalf was here, but how would he side? With the dwarves or with the men? She shivered and Gandalf urged her into the nearest tent, Bard hot on their heels. To her dismay, the nearest tent turned out to belong to none other than Thranduil.

Gandalf went to introduce her, but Thranduil held up his hand, "If I'm not mistaken, this is the halfling who stole the keys to my dungeons from under the nose of my guards."

Propping her hands on her hips, she drew herself up to her full height, "First of all, halfing is a slur to our people and I will thank you not to call me thus. I am a hobbit and you may address me as either Mistress Baggins or Lady Hobbit, nothing else. Next, I would not have had to take the keys if you had not falsely imprisoned the company. We were just lost travelers in your kingdom that had just been set upon by the creatures that you are failing to keep at bay. We were sick and starving and you can't imprison someone for things that they might do in the future. I know that Thorin offered you deep insult afterwards, but it was partially provoked by yourself. And lastly, I didn't not steal the keys, I merely made use of them, you will find them still in your cellars, safe and sound."

All three men stared at her and she huffed a sigh. These men were all leaders and undoubtedly used to being respected, but she had been dealing with an overbearing dwarf lord for months now as well as trying to deal with an impossible situation. Her braid tapped against her cheek and she flushed slightly. Her heart had been under just as much stress as she was and yet had remained kind, loyal, and gracious. For him, she could deal with these men. "I apologize, I do not mean to snap. It has been a rather trying time, with events of late. However, that does not excuse my behavior. May we begin again?" She bowed slightly, "I am Belladonna Baggins, of the company of Thorin Oakenshield. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Bard returned her bow, his expression relaxing, "You are right, Mistress Baggins, things have been stressful of late. May we inquire as to what has brought you in search of us, unaccompanied by any of your companions?"

She nodded to him, "I came in the hopes of preventing war, gentlemen. There has been enough loss, I don't want their to be more."

Thranduil sneered but kept his tone civil as he asked, "And what makes you think, Mistress Baggins, that you can prevent war?"

This was it, there was no going back from here. She reached into her pocket and brought out the carefully wrapped bundle. Setting it on the table, she unwrapped it slowly to reveal the Arkenstone. "I came tonight to give you this."

This drew Thranduil to his feet as he breathed, "The heart of the mountain, the king's jewel."

Bard joined them at the table, "And worth a king's ransom." He frowned down at her, "How is this yours to give?"

She shook her head firmly, "I am not giving this to you but I took it as my fourteenth share of the treasure." She wanted to wring her hands but kept them firmly at her sides.

Bard's expression was puzzled, "Why would you do this? You owe us no loyalty."

She said swiftly, "I'm not doing this for you. I know dwarves are stubborn and difficult, suspicious and secretive. But they are also brave and kind, loyal to a fault. I've grown very fond of them, consider them my kin, and I would save them if I can. Thorin values this stone, in exchange for it's return, it's my belief that he will give you what you're owed. There will be no need for war. Please, my lords. Take it and use it against my portion of the treasure and save us from unnecessary loss and grief."

To her shock, Thranduil placed his hand over his heart and bowed slightly to her, "It shall be as you wish, Lady Hobbit. We shall do everything in our power to prevent war."

Bard slipped the Arkenstone into his coat and bowed to her as well, "I thank you for this, Mistress Baggins. And should this ever get straightened out, I know that my children would like to see you again. You will always be welcome in my home."

Bella's shoulders slumped in relief. "I feared the worse, when the dragon attacked. It does my heart good to know that they still live. Now, if you'll excuse me." She bowed again and slipped from them tent. 

However, Gandalf was right on her heels, "Bella, wait."

She glanced over her shoulder, "Walk with me, Gandalf. I must hurry, for they don't know what I do and I must return before they realize that I'm gone."

Gandalf stared at her, "Surely you don't mean to go back? Thorin is gold mad."

She smiled up at him, her smile sad but accepting, "They are my kin, my family, Gandalf. Whatever their fate is to be, it shall be mine as well."

He studied her closely, "I see that you're still wearing your braid. Is Fili still courting you?"

She grinned at him, brushing her fingers lightly over her braid, "Nay, we are betrothed now. You shall be invited to the wedding, provided that we all live through this, of course."

His expression was sad and he suddenly looked as ancient as he liked to pretend he was sometimes. "I wish that this could be a happier time for you, Bella. I did not foresee any of this when I asked you to go on this quest. It is a brave thing that you've done this day, especially as it may cost you everything."

She offered him a small smile. "The fates work as they will. I just want my family to live. Even if they throw me out for it, it will be enough for me to know that they still live. But that is another day. Take care, Gandalf. I'll see you again, hopefully under better circumstances."

With a small nod, she took off, sprinting back for the walls and safety of Erebor. She slowly climbed her way back up the rope, her muscles protesting the entire way. She let out a squeak of fright as she reached the top and a large hand latched onto her wrist, lifting her easily onto the wall. Scared that it was Thorin, she looked up to find Dwalin standing there, his face impassive.

She asked softly, "Are you going to tell Thorin?"

Dwalin shook his head and then glanced over at the encampment before guiding her back inside Erebor. His voice was a low rumble as he said, "Whatever you just did, lass, I hope it works and was worth it."

She murmured, "I hope so too."

* * *

Things did not go well at all. To her surprise, Thranduil did not taunt Thorin as he had before, keeping his word to her. Bard also did not reply harshly in kind to Thorin's harsh words. But then Thorin's eyes darkened and a sly madness entered them. When he spoke lowly about fools and ruses, tricks and lies, she had no choice but to step forward, all though she had the feeling that it was too late, no matter what she did or said.

She said softly, not wanting it to carry to all who were watching avidly, "It's not a trick. It is the Arkenstone." She fought to keep her hands uncurled from fists. "I gave it to them."

Thorin whirled to face her, his eyes fairly burning with anger, although he didn't raise his voice. "You!"

She didn't back down, having already known how he would view her actions, "I took it as my fourteenth share."

He expression was incredulous and outraged, "You would steal from me?"

She propped her hands on her hips and tapped her foot, "I didn't steal from you. I might be a burglar but I like to think that I'm an honest one. No, I gave it to them as surety against my claim."

His face distorted into ugliness, "Against your claim? Your claim? You have no claim over me, you miserable rat."

She flinched slightly at that but kept her face impassive, not allowing him to see how deeply that had cut her. The rest of the company was staring at them in horrified shock, but she didn't know if it was her actions or Thorin's that appalled them. A rat was she? All of them had been tiptoeing around the king under the mountain, but if he was going to banish her, then she would share some choice truth with him. "I was going to give it to you! Many times, I wanted to, but..."

He gritted out, "What, thief?"

Her voice was flat, "You are changed, Thorin! The dwarf I met in Bag End would've never gone back on his word! Would never have doubted the loyalty of his kin!!"

His voice was whisper soft as he spoke, "Do not speak to me of loyalty." He turned to the company and demanded, "Throw her from the rampart!"

The company stared at him in horror, it was one of their deepest taboos to hurt a dam, no matter what crime she had committed. His madness was a sly twisting thing and could see that he would get no support from that quarter. He growled, "I will do it myself!"

Before she could process what was happening, he had wrapped his hands around her throat and was dragging her towards the edge. There was chaos as the other dwarves scrambled to pull him off of her, but his madness was strength. He was cursing her and the blood was roaring so loudly in her ears that she barely heard Gandalf's magnified voice call, "If you don't like my burglar, then please don't damage her, but return her to me."

Her feet were kicking over empty air and she scrabbled frantically at his arms, praying that he didn't drop her. Gandalf said something else that she didn't catch, but Thorin thankfully pulled her back over and dumped her on the unforgiving stone. Fili was there immediately, pulling her up and away from his uncle and hustling her towards the rope that was still tied there. She rasped, "I'm sorry, Fili, so sorry. I didn't mean for it to come to this. I'm sorry."

He murmured, his eyes hard, "This is not your fault love, he is not my uncle, not after that."

She grasped frantically at his arm. "You have to stay here, Fili. Someone has to watch over the company, over your brother. Thorin's not in his right mind."

Fili shook his head, his eyes anguished, "No, I already left you once, never again."

She kissed him briefly, frantically, "You're not leaving me, I'm asking you to stay, to protect your kin. Please, Fili, they need you."

"You need me!"

"I need you to be the dwarf that I fell in love with, be the protector and dwarf that I know you are. This isn't the end, I will see you again. And I'll be safe, I'll be with Gandalf."

He boosted her over the wall, his eyes hard yet heartbroken. He said firmly, "Stay with Gandalf, I will come for you as soon as I can."

He watched her as she climbed down, not looking away even when Thorin yelled, "Never again will I have dealings with wizards or Shire rats."

Only when she was on the ground and safely at Gandalf's side did Fili turn away and face his uncle again. Bella shivered underneath Gandalf's cloak, vowing to herself that this would not be the last time she saw him, even if she had to move Erebor itself to see him again.

* * *

Bella closed the book, old sorrow coursing through her. In the end, she hadn't seen her beloved again, with the Battle of the Five Armies and everything happening. She traced her throat, remember how severe the bruising had been. Thranduil had had healers tend it, but it had been colorful enough that she'd had to hide it under a scarf that Gandalf had given her. 

Bard had been wroth at Thorin for his actions, but Bella had begged him to let it go. Thorin was a good dwarf, no matter how he had behaved in the thrall of gold madness. He had come back to his right mind, there at the end, and had apologized for his behavior. She had never believed that he would lay a hand on her, but the remorse he'd felt was real and one couldn't hold the actions of a sick individual against them. And the ring had undoubtedly played it's own part in it.

She sighed, carefully locking the book away, not wanting to think about it anymore. She needed time and distance before she could write the ending, right now, it just hurt too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a very tough chapter, heartbreaking all around. And fyi, I do not like Thranduil, but I figure that he has at least a few manners and a smidge of honor in him somewhere.
> 
> And the songs that Fili was singing? They were Khuzdul songs of courtship and love, as well as the yearning of every dwarf to find their One, their other half.
> 
> Next chapter will be all from Fili's POV. It was just too long to try to include in this chapter.


	27. The Final Charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - Heavy heavy angst

It was the middle of the night when Kili was woken by an eerie sound. It was a moaning keen, making his heart want to weep at the very sound. He scrabbled for the flint and steel, needing light, so he could see what was going on, what poor soul was making that noise. Finally he found it and lit the candle, casting around for the source of the sound. To his horror, it was Fili.

Fili was sitting up, curled into a ball on the bed and rocking back and forth as he made that keening noise. Frightened, Kili scrambled out of his bed and over to his brother's. He called his brother's name, but Fili didn't respond, didn't even seem to realize that he was there. Kili tried shaking him, yelling at him, even slapped him, but nothing worked. Swearing under his breath, Kili bolted from their room and started pounding on the doors of the other members of the company.

Dwalin was the first one in the hallway, his face thunderous until he say Kili's distraught expression. Grabbing Kili's arm, he growled, "What's going on, lad?"

Kili forced out breathlessly, "It's Fee, something's wrong with him. Please, help. He won't respond."

Dwalin shoved Kili at Tauriel and ran for the princes room, praying that Fili wasn't dying. However, as soon as he reached the doorway and heard the sound, his heart dropped. He had heard this sound once before and prayed that he'd never have to hear it again. The rest of the company had followed him and he glanced over his shoulder at them. However, none of them seemed to realize what was going on. He barked, "Build up the fire, find some whiskey. Tauriel, ye need to make up a sleeping blend. Next few days are gonna be rough for the lad."

Kili stared at him hopefully, "Do you know what's wrong, Dwalin?"

Dwalin said grimly, "I pray to Mahal that I'm wrong. Now get moving."

Stepping into the room, Dwalin shut the door firmly behind him. Grabbing the pitcher of water off the dresser, he tested the temperature. It was cold enough to get the job done. Moving over to the bed, he studied the crown prince. Fili was curled up in a ball of misery, his eyes unseeing, as that eerie keen kept slipping out of him. It made him think of the dwarfling that Fili had once been, when he or his brother had gotten hurt. Dwalin wished that he could go back to that time, when the hurts were simpler and could be dealt with. If he was right, this was a very adult pain that Fili would carry with him for the rest of his life.

Gritting his teeth, he poured the water over Fili. The prince shuddered and looked around brokenly. Dwalin knelt by the bed, putting aside the pitcher, "Lad, can you hear me?"

Fili nodded, scrambling to pull himself together, to regain his composure, although his teeth were chattering, his body shaking, and his eyes wide. Dwalin shook his head gently, "You don't have to hold it in, it's just you and me right now. Talk to me, lad."

Fili shook his head stubbornly, wrapping his arms tighter around himself.

Dwalin sighed heavily, "Kili came to get me, ye scared him. Thing is, same thing happened to me. My brother did the exact same thing that you did, the day that Erebor fell." He paused and fidgeted with his knuckle dusters before forcing out, "The day that he lost his One. He felt when the dragon fire took her and it broke something in him. For a while there, I feared that we'd lose him entirely."

Fili was still shaking and Dwalin knew that it was shock, but he seemed to be focusing on Dwalin's words, to be understanding them, although to what degree the guard couldn't say. When the prince didn't speak, Dwalin continued, "He was never the same afterwards, although he did still live. But Erebor needs ye, lad. Even more than that, yer brother needs ye. So ye need to talk to me, let it out. What happened?" He asked hoarsely, ignoring the tear the trickled down his face, "Was it the blizzard?"

Fili gulped in a deep breath and spoke and Dwalin had never been more relieved to hear anyone speak in his life, "I don't understand what you're asking, Dwalin."

Not wanting to say the words, to make them real, Dwalin knew nonetheless that he had to, that he had to get Fili to process this so that they didn't lose him to shock and grief. "Your One, Bella. What happened to her? How did she, die?"

Fili shook his head, his eyes filled with agony, "She's not dead, but Dwalin..." The keening cry swept from him again and he wept.

Feeling relief crash through him, the lass was still alive, Dwalin gathered him into his arms like he had when Fili was just a dwarfling. As Fili shook and wept, Dwalin's brain whirred frantically. The prince must've had another soul dream, that was the only explanation. But whatever it showed must've been truly terrible, maybe even the reason that she had left Erebor, left Fili. Fili had been so strong all of his life, for his people and for his kin, even through all of the quest and it's aftermath, as hard as it had been. Even the restoration of Erebor, he had never stopped, never processed everything. This final thing had been the piece of ore that broke the mine cart.

Kili tentatively poked his head into the room, fear clear on his face. Carefully not to disturb Fili, Dwalin carefully signed that he would explain everything, but that everyone except for Kili needed to return to their rooms. 

Kili signed hesitantly, 'Even Tauriel?'

Dwalin signed firmly, 'Even Tauriel, Fili's very vulnerable right now. Even though she's your One, he won't allow himself to show his true vulnerability around those he has to be strong for. Right now, only you and I can see him like this.'

Kili's expression firmed, 'I'll send them away.' He ducked out of the room to do just that.

Dwalin listened to the quiet voices and then there was silence. Carefully lifting the still weeping lad in his arms, he slowly made his way into the other room. Kili was hovering by the fire, a lost expression on his face. Dwalin gritted his teeth, these two were good lads, it wasn't fair, that everything that they'd been through, everything they'd done, they were still suffering.

He sighed, getting angry was not what the lads needed right now. He wished that his brother was here right now, or the lads mother, both of them were better at using their words than Dwalin was. But he was what they had, so he'd do his best to help them. He settled into an armchair, as close to the fire as he could get without being in the fire.

Time passed and gradually Fili started to pull himself together, his tears slowing and eventually tapering off. Knowing that the lad would be embarrassed, Dwalin stood matter of factly and settled Fili back on his feet, snagging the blanket that Kili offered him and wrapping the crown prince tightly in it before urging him to sit in the chair. Turning his back while Fili composed himself, Dwalin leaned on the mantel and stared into the fire, telling Kili quietly, "Think we'll have that whiskey now, you too, lad."

He heard the clink and gurgle of something being poured before a mug was thrust into his hand. He waited until he heard Kili mutter something quietly to Fili before turning around. Fili's eyes were red rimmed and he looked rather lost, Kili was sitting on the ground at his feet, leaning against his legs and obviously trying to impart his strength to his brother. Dwalin said gruffly, "Drink."

They both did, Fili shuddering at the burn but clarity reentering his eyes. With the awareness, Dwalin could see his shame at weeping like a pebble, but also a brokenness. He shook his head, "None of that, lad. It's just me and Kili and we won't breathe a word to anyone. Now, tell us everything."

Fili looked like he was about to refuse but Kili pleaded, "Please, Fee. Tell us what happened, let us in. Whatever it is, we will stand with you, just don't shut me out."

His eyes haunted, Fili slowly and haltingly told about his soul dream. How they had been in Erebor, about Thorin's slow descent into madness and gold sickness, about the elves and men, the growing hopelessness and need to find a way out of the escalating mess. And finally with many stops and false starts, he shared about that final morning on the wall top, when Thorin had done the unthinkable and tried to kill his One, how he hadn't been able to save her from his uncle, his king, the one he had trusted above all others. And how she had made him stay behind, fearing more for those left behind than herself, who had almost fallen to her death at the hands of one that should've protected her.

His voice was harsh and hoarse, "I swore, I swore, that I would come to her as soon as I could. Between Thorin's actions and my own, it is little wonder that she left. I know, in my soul, that I never saw her again after that moment. It would be better if I just let her go entirely."

Dwalin growled and was about to speak when Kili beat him to it. Rising to his full height, his hands clenched into fists, Kili snarled, "If you do that, you're no better than Thorin."

Fili gaped at him before his eyes narrowed and he snarled back, "I failed, Kili! I failed the time that it mattered most! She could've died and I wasn't able to stop it!"

"But you didn't! Your One is still out there, still alive! You swore that you would go to her as soon as you could. She didn't blame you, she kissed you and everything! I know as sure as I know that Tauriel is my One that your Bella is still waiting for you! If you walk away from her, you have no honor. If you chose to walk away from her, from your One, you won't be my brother anymore. It's fine to hurt over what happened. Spend the rest of your life making it up to her or if she wants nothing to do with you, walk away. But that is her choice and it's her right to make it, not yours."

Kili's voice lowered and smoothed out, his expression becoming almost sympathetic, "Tell me, nadad. What if everything had been reversed? If you had been the one banished and Bella had remained? Would you hate her for that choice? Never want to see her again?"

Fili cried out immediately, "Of course not! How can you even ask that?"

Kili countered mercilessly, "How can you think of abandoning your One? The other half of your very soul? The one that all dwarves pray to Mahal to find?"

Fili groaned, "I broke one of our deepest taboos, I allowed her to be hurt and then I allowed her to walk away."

Kili shook his head fiercely, his loyalty and trust in his brother shining clearly in his eyes. "No, nadad. I know you and I know that you did everything possible in an impossible situation. I know that you didn't stand idly by but did everything you could to free her from Thorin. I know that you probably exhausted yourself before this point, trying to shelter us all from Thorin's gold madness. What I remember of that time was horrible enough, but I can't even begin to imagine the position that you were in. Trying to shield all of us, lead all of us, prevent a war. And to do that while trying to protect your One? No, I do not envy you that. But you stood strong through all of it. A lesser dwarf would've broken under that, or walked away. I have never met a dwarf as strong and honorable as you, not even uncle."

Kili looked away and sighed before meeting his brother's eyes again, "If you had truly broken a taboo, if you'd lost all honor, I believe that Mahal would've allowed you to be struck down in battle. Uncle as well, for laying hands on a dam. We have these taboos for a reason, nadad. And I know that if uncle knew what he did while he was under the gold's thrall, he would be devastated. Don't do this, don't break yourself and your One for events that were beyond your control. Please, nadad. Please, Fee."

Fili didn't respond, but stood and made his way into their room and shut the door firmly behind him. Kili's face twisted into despair but Dwalin shook his head, "Don't give up on him, lad. It's a lot to process. He'll need his space."

Kili moved over in front of the fire and poked absently at it with the fireplace tool. "Why was he wet?"

Dwalin sighed, "After Erebor, when we lost so many, we lost many more from the shock of a broken bond. If ye can manage to draw them from that shock, get them warm and moving or talking, ye have a chance of keeping 'em alive."

Kili looked at Dwalin thoughtfully, "That's why you told us to build up the fire and for Tauriel to make the tea, you thought something had happened to Bella."

Dwalin sighed, "I've heard that sound once before in my life and I never wanted to hear it again. I heard it the day my brother lost his One and I nearly lost him. It's a time I'd rather not think on again, but I least I knew what to do with yer brother. We're going to have a close eye on him for the next few days, even with Bella being still alive. All of this was bottled up and hit him with the force of a cave troll, without any warning."

The bedroom door opened again and they turned to face it, only to see Fili come marching out, dressed in his work clothes with his hair bound up. His eyes were clear and his expression determined. "I'm heading to the forge. We're leaving as soon as possible once the weather clears, so I want to have the gift done."

Kili nodded at him, having to bit back his sigh of relief. "Give me just a moment and I'll go with you."

Without giving him time to protest, Kili ran into the room to change into his smithing clothes as well. As he was changing, a scrap of parchment on the desk drew his attention. Going over for a closer look, he saw that it was the sketch of Bella's bracelet. He studied it closely, wondering what exactly was different about it. Then he saw that the last charm had been added. He sucked in a breath as he saw what it was, a shattered heart.

Leaving the parchment where it was, he ran to rejoin his brother.

* * *

Fili didn't leave the forge for the next three days, barely eating and snatching an hour or so of fitful sleep on the cot that Elrond had provided, working feverishly on the bracelet. Kili had stayed with him for most of that time, only taking brief breaks to eat or speak with Tauriel. He and Dwalin hadn't told the others about what had happened, only that it was a bad soul dream. The rest of them respected that and didn't ask for anything more.

When he emerged from the forge, there was peace back in his eyes and he seemed to be re-centered. Both Kili and Dwalin could see the underlying anxiety and determination warring for dominance, but held their tongues and just let him know that they were there if he needed them. He sparred with them, trying to drain his energy so that he could sleep, but his sleep remained light and restless, troubled with dreams that he wouldn't speak of.

The storm ended three days after he emerged from the forge, but their ponies wouldn't be able to break through the snow for at least another week. Fili weighed the odds anxiously, trying to decide if it was better to leave immediately although the snow would slow their progress or wait until the ponies could do it and make better time than they would walking. Sensing his indecision and knowing that they were going to fetch Fili's intended, Elrond graciously offered them the use of swift horses and an elven escort if they would only wait a day or two until it was safe to travel. After discussing it with the others, he gratefully accepted the offer.

* * *

It took a little over two weeks to reach Bree, much better time than they would've made on the sturdy little ponies. As they traveled, the snow rapidly melted, showing that spring was indeed on it's way and maybe already there. Kili watched over Fili anxiously as they traveled. The blond dwarf was losing weight, seemingly torn between anticipation and anxiety. Kili prayed for his brother to have another soul dream, to show that Bella didn't hate him and whatever it was that had driven her away because he didn't believe that a lass as stubborn as his brother described would flee from Thorin's wrath. Maybe retreat and regroup, but then she'd be back, most like with a cast iron skillet to wallop some sense into Thorin's rock head. But they remained stubbornly absent, so both princes fretted and worried, although they did their best to appear like they were unconcerned.

They took leave of their elven escort at Bree with thanks and the reassurance that their ponies would be waiting for them there as soon as they possibly could be. Since it was late afternoon when they arrived, they rented rooms at the Prancing Pony for the night. Unable to bear the dark circles under Fili's eyes anymore, Kili and Tauriel worked together to slip him some sleeping herbs, with Dwalin's unspoken but full approval. By the time that Fili cottoned on to what had happened, it was too late, his eyes were already drooping. Kili simply helped him up to their room and slipped off his boots before tucking him in and going back to join the others.

* * *

Fili came awake instantly, sitting up in bed and reaching for his weapon. Looking around for a threat, he found the room empty except for Kili sprawled out in the other bed, limbs and hair going every which way. Letting his hand fall away from his dagger hilt, he scrubbed wearily at his face. How had he even gotten here, the last thing that he could remember was sitting down in the common room to eat dinner, then it all went fuzzy. He groaned when he realized that Kili must have drugged him. Meddling little brother!

He looked over at Kili and huffed a laugh, rolling his eyes a little bit. Fili climbed out of bed and stretched, unsure if he should thank or throttle his brother. Yes, he wouldn't have been able to sleep the night before but that didn't mean that he wanted to be drugged. A rock dropped into his stomach as he remembered. Bella. The Shire. He would finally see her today, would finally be able to touch her, speak with her. He swallowed hard, he would know one way or another if she wanted to ever see him again or if she wanted nothing to do with him.

Kili totally forgotten now, Fili dressed carefully, although most of his clothes were travel worn at this point. He redid his braids neatly, taking care to make sure that they were just so. He woke Kili by kicking the bed and Kili shot up to a sitting position, mumbling that he was awake. Giving a small snort of laughter, Fili told him to get dressed and ready to go, before leaving the room and making his way downstairs. He found Dwalin already there and ready, his pack at his feet.

Getting a mug of coffee, Fili made his way over and sat opposite of him. He scowled at the tattooed guard. "You could've warned me what they were up to."

Dwalin grinned at him, "Ye should've been watching yer food, that's basic traveling knowledge. Besides, ye needed rest. No use talking with yer One when yer all fuzzy headed from fatigue."

Fili's hand tightened around the mug and he admitted quietly, "I'm scared."

Dwalin shrugged, "Only natural, lad. But ye've never run from anything in yer life and yer not about to start now. Have faith, everything is going to be all right."

Fili started to reply but bit his tongue as the rest of the group straggled in. Instead, he just ran his hand roughly through his hair and prayed for the courage to go through with it. Thankfully, the company didn't linger over breakfast and they were underway quickly. 

As they walked, Fili ran over dozens of scenarios in his head. Surprisingly though, his fear was soon eclipsed by a need to see her, to know that she was safe, and well. All around them, the Shire bloomed with spring and new beginnings. He prayed that it was a sign that things would go well. It took the better part of the day to reach an area that felt familiar to him, although he couldn't remember having ever been there before. Something inside him tugged him on, leading him towards something, towards her.

It was edging on upon the dinner hour when they came upon the Green Dragon Inn and the memory of Thranduil's dungeon's came back to him and how Bella would take him for a pint there if he was ever in the area. He could barely stand still, he knew they were close, that she was close and waiting for him. The company agreed to wait for him at the Green Dragon and for him to go on ahead alone. Kili looked like he wanted to come along, but both Tauriel and Dwalin promptly shut him down. Handing his pack to his brother, he muttered that he'd be back later, and took off.

To his surprise, his goal was not as far away as he'd thought. He had just passed over the hill when he saw a hobbit home with a round green door, same as the one in his dreams. He swallowed hard, his heart racing. He'd finally made it, please let her be there, please let her be all right. Before he knew it, he was sprinting over to the door and pounded on it, his heart in his throat, desperation coursing through him. Let her be there, by all that was holy, let her be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter - Bella and Fili finally reunite (Well overdue, I know, but this story was stubborn and insisted upon moving at it's own pace).
> 
> It's pretty much completely written and I'll have it up very soon :)


	28. You are the Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, finally, they meet again!
> 
> (Also, I've posted two chapters today, so if you haven't read The Final Charm, read that chapter first)

After a long day preparing her garden, Bella was hoping for nothing more than a quiet evening. Feeling particularly vulnerable, she had slipped on her father's robe and braided her hair. However, she was just sitting down to a plate of scones and tea when there was a loud pounding on her door. Sighing, she just knew that the tea would be cold by the time she sorted out whatever emergency Lobelia was having now. Standing, she made her way towards the door. She muttered under her breath as the frantic pounding continued, "Hold your horses, I'm coming, I'm coming."

Wrenching open the door, words died on her tongue at the sight of a frantic Fili standing on her doorstep. Before she could gather her wits, he swept her into a crushing hug. He was trembling so hard that it transferred over to her and he buried his face in her hair, murmuring, "You're alive" over and over again.

Looking over his shoulder, she couldn't see anyone else. Concern growing rapidly in her, she managed to nudge the door shut enough that they couldn't be seen by any passers by. Running a gentle hand over his shoulders, she asked, "Fili, what?"

Pulling back just enough that he could frame her face with his hands, he leaned forward and captured her lips in a desperate kiss. She melted into his kiss, half convinced that she had passed out under the hot midday sun and was just hallucinating what she so desperately wanted. She didn't know how long they kissed before she forced herself to pull away. Burying her face in his chest so that he couldn't recapture her lips, she fought to catch her breath. He rained kisses down on her bent head, running his hands up and down her back as if he couldn't physically stop touching her.

Catching her breath, she pushed on his chest until he released her. She took a step away and he made a wounded sound. Firmly weaving her hands together so that she wouldn't reach for him like she so desperately wanted to, she forced herself to met his gaze. "Fili, what are you doing here? Is everyone ok? Kili? Thorin? Your mother? The company?"

His eyes were hungry as he greedily drank her in. Feeling self conscious, she adjusted the robe and tightened the belt. When he still didn't speak, she said, "Fili, you're scaring me. What's going on?"

She tucked a loose curl nervously behind her ear. His eyes tracked the movement of her hand and then he swallowed hard. He stepped closer and she tensed in case he grabbed her again, but he simply reached out and brushed a finger over her bead. He said hoarsely, "You kept them."

She caught his hand in both of hers. "Fili, is there anyone else with you?"

"They're down at the Green Dragon."

Nodding, she led him unresisting into the kitchen and gently pushed him down into a chair. He sat and she released his hand. She stepped away and when he started to rise to follow her, she shook her head. Unwillingly, he sank back into the chair. She smiled at him and then continued over to where she kept the scotch. She didn't know about him, but she could use a strong drink.

She brought it over to the table along with two glasses and sat across from him. She poured both of them a generous amount and slid a glass over to him. He knocked it back and she did the same, savoring the burn. Setting aside the glass, she met Fili's gaze and fought not to blush. Taking a deep breath, she spoke, "All right, let's start at the beginning. What are you doing here? Is everyone ok?"

He clenched his fists. "I had to know if you were dead or alive. Why, Bella?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you leave, Bella? Why did you leave after the battle?" 

It was her turn to clench her fists and she closed her eyes against the insistent press of tears. Swallowing hard, she fought to breathe. But she had done hard things before and she could do it again. Steeling her resolve, she opened her eyes and met his. "You shouldn't be here. I think you should go. Go and join the others and forget that you ever saw me."

He shook his head. "No, you don't get to do that. You don't just get to dismiss me and us. You kept my braid, Bella. I know that you still care for me. So tell me what's going on, why you're hiding here in the Shire and not in Erebor, with us, where you belong."

Every time he said her name, a tiny thrill ran through her. Trying desperately to shore up her crumbling defenses, his life depended on her silence, she said, "Maybe I was just tired of being in danger. I mean, how many times did I almost die on the quest?"

Her words were aimed to wound and get him out of her house as quickly as possible. However, her plan seemed to back fire as his eyes softened. He smiled tenderly at her, "Ah, there you are. The Bella who protects those she loves no matter what the cost. So what are you protecting us from? And what was the cost?"

She scoffed, "I'm not protecting you from anything, there was no cost. I saw my chance to leave on the battlefield and I took it. And I was right, wasn't I? So unimportant that I don't even know how any of you managed to remember an insignificant hobbit."

He turned her words over for several minutes, watching her closely. She wanted to fidget, but she had had months of acting normal before the other hobbits, so it was an easy thing to squish down.

Finally, he shook his head, his mustache braids swaying with the movement. "Try again, I don't buy that. If you were so eager to get rid of us, you wouldn't have kept your braid."

Panicking, she said, "Maybe I just wanted to sell the bead. I'm sure that it's valuable and would be worth quite a lot to the right buyer."

He nodded, "That's true. I might even believe it, were it not for the fact that you still have my braid in your hair. Hair that you haven't bothered to trim back to a proper hobbit length. And if you truly hated me, you wouldn't have let me into your smial, let alone have kissed you. Now, love, tell me the truth."

And with that, she broke. She screamed at him, "You want the truth? You died! You and Thorin and Kili. All of you were just gone and I couldn't save you."

Breathing hard, she stared at him, wondering when she had gotten to her feet. Then she realized what she had said. Clamping her hands over her mouth, she thought weakly, "Oh Mahal and Yavanna, what have I done?"

His expression oddly triumphant, he stood and pulled her into his arms, "Now we're getting somewhere." 

She couldn't stop trembling and he just held her closer, the rhythm of his heart and breathing soothing her. Unable to tear herself away, she whispered, "You shouldn't be here, you need to leave. Just take everyone and go. Please."

He tucked her fractionally closer. "I'm never leaving you again. Since the day I woke up from the battle, I have yearned to hold you again, my heart incomplete and aching with every breath. Even when I didn't know who you were or where you were, I knew that my heart was somewhere else and that I was only living a half life. Now that I have you back in my arms again, not even the Valar could separate us again."

As soon as he finished speaking, a bright light filled the kitchen. Her heart kicked up until is was beating like a rabbit's and she clutched desperately at Fili. No! She had just found him. Please don't take him away again. This could still be fixed.

A light hearted giggle drew her face out of Fili's chest and she turned her head to find Mahal and Yavanna watching them. However, instead of sad or upset, Yavanna's face was positively alight with joy and Mahal was nodding approvingly at Fili. Yavanna winked at her and she heard a quiet whisper in her mind, 'Everything's going to be all right, daughter.'

Mahal rumbled, "It is good to see that my child knows how to properly value a treasure."

Fili bowed his head respectfully but didn't let her go. "I have been blessed beyond measure. I would be a poor dwarf indeed if I could not see the beauty and value of my One."

Mahal grinned widely at him. "Very well said, son, well said." Turning to Bella, his expression softened. "And we already know the strength of your heart, daughter."

She whispered, "Please, don't take him away."

Yavanna smiled gently at her. Crossing over to her, she gently stroked Bella's hair. "Let me tell you a story. When my husband created his children, he knew how harsh the world could be. With that in mind, he made his children so that they would endure. However, he knew that a life of just enduring would wear down his children more than anything in the world could, so all of his plans would be for naught."

She smiled at her husband. "However, he knew that if there was someone to share the load, to stand beside them, they would have a home no matter what the world put them through. So for each dwarf, he made one other that would fit their heart just right and complete them, that they could make a home in their hearts that would endure no matter what the world threw at them. His children appreciated his gift and treasured their Ones and they were content. But then Mahal's children started to travel, looking for new materials and things to craft. Thus it became much harder for a dwarf to find their One. Several of his children petitioned him for help in finding their One, as they had searched and searched, but could not find them and they were loosing hope."

Settling under Yavanna's gentle touch, Bella asked, "So what did he do?"

"He thought on this long and hard, for he had found his One and he wanted his children to know that joy as well. Then it came to him. In dreams, one could travel anywhere, unencumbered by their physical body. So he created soul dreams. Once a dwarf hits maturity, either physical or emotional, then they start receiving dreams that will lead them to their other half. Sometimes they start after the dwarf has met his other half, others they have never met outside of dreams. Sometimes these dreams are crystal clear and other times, they are fleeting. But they are unbreakable, tying a dwarf to their other half. Nothing mortal can touch those bonds and even the Valar are forbidden to touch them. For that will be disturbing fate."

Bella said cautiously, "So even if memories are taken?"

Mahal smiled at her, pleased, "The heart will remember, if it looks."

She turned back to Fili and he smiled tenderly, oh so tenderly, down at her. "I have been looking for you since the moment I woke. I am just sorry that it took me so long."

She reached up and cupped his face, smoothing her thumb over his cheekbone. Turning back to Mahal and Yavanna who had moved back over to him and taken his hand, she asked, "So they'll live?"

He nodded. "And as my lady wife said graciously so long ago, your life will now match his." 

Feeling overwhelmed, she murmured thank you before turning and burying her face in Fili's chest.

Fili asked, "I'm sorry, but what are you talking about?" He tucked her even closer, wrapping his arms protectively around her.

Mahal smiled at the bold young prince. "Like she said, the line of Durin fell during the battle. Azog was defeated, but the line of Durin died doing so. She wept, for all of you. We heard her tears and came to her. She agreed to a trade. I would bring you back from the Halls, but first she had to pay the price. In exchange for your lives, she would be removed from yours. All memory of her would be wiped from the company's memories. If she or anyone tried to remind you of her existence, our bargain would be null and things would return to the way they were."

Fili said calmly, "We would be dead."

Mahal nodded, wrapping an arm around his wife's shoulders and tucking her into her side. "However, because of her bravery and selflessness, we offered her a boon. If you should remember her without anyone telling you about her, then things would remain the way they are and her life would be extended to match your own, so that you would not lose her so soon after finding her again."

Now he was the one overwhelmed. "Thank you."

Mahal nodded, "She has a spine of mithril and and a heart stronger and brighter than any diamond. Treasure her, son. Also, don't do anything stupid for a while. I would hate to see you again anytime soon."

Yavanna whispered in Bella's thoughts, "I will not say, 'Do not weep', for not all tears are an evil."

And with another burst of bright light, they were gone.

Neither of them moved for several seconds after the Valar disappeared, then Fili let out an exuberant whoop and spun her around the kitchen. She looked up at him giddily, her eyes shining brightly from unshed tears. Then she reached up and thrust her fingers into his golden mane, dragging him down for an earth shattering, breath stealing, heart stopping kiss. He didn't hesitate but kissed her back, pulling her so close that air couldn't even get between them.

Of course, with his usual good timing, that was the moment that Kili decided to enter the kitchen. He was already talking as he entered the room, "Fee, Bella, are you.... Whoa, I did not need to see that." They broke apart just in time to see him clap his hands over his eyes and whirl so his back was facing towards them.

Giggling, she buried her face in Fili's chest and murmured, "What is he, two?"

Kili said hesitantly, "So I guess you guys got it all worked out?"

Pulling back and lifting her chin so he could drop a quick kiss on her lips, he called drily to Kili, "You can look, nadad. It's safe now."

He turned slowly and peeked between his fingers and Bella had to smother some more giggles. Once he was satisfied that the coast was indeed clear, he dropped his hands and grinned. Striding over, he pulled Bella from Fili's arms and twirled her around. "Bella. I'm so glad that you're ok!"

She grinned back at the young archer. "I'm glad that you're ok too." She asked cheekily, "So, what brings you to the Shire?"

He made a face at her. "If the way you and my brother were just devouring each other wasn't clear enough, I'm not gonna bother to answer that."

She blushed and smacked his shoulders. "Like you and Tauriel don't kiss."

His jaw dropped, "How did you know?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "C'mon, you two were so obvious a blind man could see it. So?"

He grinned dopily, "Yeah, we're together." He pulled himself together, "But we're not talking about me and Tauriel right now. We're talking about you and Fili. Why did you run away?"

Fili decided that he had enough of his brother hogging his One and took her back from Kili. Bella sighed, "It's a long story and I don't want to have to retell it thirteen more times. I'll tell everyone when we're all back together."

"Does this mean that you're coming back to Erebor with us?" His eyes were so hopeful that they reminded her of nothing so much as a puppy.

Turning to Fili, she arched a brow at him, "Am I?"

He got a roguish gleam in his eyes. Linking his hands in the small of her back, he said, "I'm sure that I can probably persuade you." His gaze dipped to her lips before meeting her eyes and she swayed closer to him.

Kili groaned, "C'mon, not again."

Not taking his eyes from hers, he said, "If you don't like it, close your eyes. Or better yet, go away entirely."

Kili said dramatically, "I can't, amad would kill me if I left you two unchaperoned with the way you are behaving."

Fili pleaded, "Just five minutes. C'mon, you owe me."

Kili grumbled but said, "Fine, but I'll be back in five minutes sharp."

As he left, Bella asked curiously, "What do you have on him?"

Fili grinned at her, "I can't even begin to count the number of times I caught him and Tauriel sneaking kisses. But it that really how you want to spend our five minutes?"

Snagging his mustache braids, she pulled him down and silenced him with her lips, not that he protested at all.

Kili was back in five minutes as he had said he would be. He peeked cautiously around the door frame, but needn't have worried. Fili was sitting in one of the chairs with Bella perched on his lap. He was combing out her hair, murmuring quietly to her.

She smiled when she saw Kili and motioned for him to join them. When he sat, she asked, "So who else came all this way to fetch me?"

"Most of the company had to stay behind to run Erebor. It's just me and Fee, Bofur, Bifur, Dwalin, and Ori. They couldn't spare anyone else."

She grinned at him mischievously, "What about your ladylove?"

Kili flushed slightly but his eyes softened. "She came too, but understands if you're not quite willing to see her yet, after the dungeons and everything."

Bella shrugged. "Out of all the elves, she was the kindest. Besides, we're going to be sisters, so we should probably get to know each other."

Both of the princes stared at her, dumbfounded. She rolled her eyes and giggled, "C'mon. You guys don't really think things through, do you? Where did you think that all of this was going?"

Fili gently started sectioning off hair for her braid. "It's not that. It's just, sisters is such a rare word in dwarven culture. Dams are so rare. I mean, look at the company. In our family, there is just amad. Dwalin and Balin are the last of their line, the rest of their family is gone, same with the Ri's. Of the Ur family, only Bombur is married. He is blessed indeed, for he has three pebbles, two lads and a lass. Of Oin and Gloin, only Gloin is married and they only have Gimli, upon which you have heard Gloin talk about endlessly. That both Kili and I have found our Ones, it's incredible."

She smiled at Kili, careful not to move her head. "Ah, that makes sense. Will there be issues that neither of your ones are dwarves?"

Kili shook his head. "We are taught that our Ones were made for us by Mahal. Yes, it's a little unusual, but we have been blessed indeed. It took some time for Tauriel to be accepted where she's an elf, but you're a hero of Erebor and a member of the company. You even have a beard, it's just on your feet." He smirked at her.

She said drily, "I hope that Tauriel has a better sense of humor than you do because yours it terrible."

He cried, "Oy."

Fili just laughed, gently securing the clasp to hold her betrothal braid in place. She ran her fingers gently over it and admitted quietly, "I've missed this. I did my best to do it, but I had to be careful. If anyone had seen it and word got back to you..."

Fili soothed her and Kili grumbled, "Let me guess, another thing that you're going to tell me later."

She said cheekily, "If you're very good, I might tell you on the journey back to Erebor. Anyways, I have plenty of room here. Why don't you go get everyone from the inn and bring them here instead."

Kili shook his head, "No way am I leaving you two here alone."

She hopped up. "Go ahead with him. I can do your braid when you get back. I'll whip up a quick meal while you fetch everyone, I'm sure that you're all starving."

Fili wanted to protest, but her eyes looked so hopeful that he sighed and caved. "Are you sure?"

She seemed to understand what he wasn't saying. "I won't disappear on you, I promise. Just go get our family and bring them back. They sooner you go, the sooner you can come back." Standing on her tiptoes, she brushed a kiss on his lips, then darted away when he tried to pull her back. "Now scat."

Kili took his arm and gently pulled him from the kitchen. She heard a low murmur of voices and then the front door slammed. She panicked and almost darted after them, begging for him not to go. She reigned herself in hard. He would be coming back. This wouldn't be just another dream. She reached up and touched the braid, seeking reassurance. It was much neater than she had ever managed and she let out a small sigh. Forcing herself to breathe normally, she headed for the pantry. She had guests coming and if she knew anything about dwarves, they would bring hearty appetites. Suddenly she grinned, her family was coming.

* * *

Fili's heart fell with every step he took away from Bag End. It took every ounce of self control not to turn around and run back to Bella. Clenching his fists, he tried to listen to Kili's chatter but just couldn't seem to focus. It was just over the hill and down the lane. He would be back in just a few minutes. He repeated that to himself with every step. Just a few minutes, just a few minutes. He didn't realize that he was whispering it aloud until Kili asked what he was saying.

He turned to Kili, focusing on his brother's worried face. "I don't think I can do this."

Kili coaxed, "C'mon. It'll be just a couple of minutes. The inn is right there. Bella would not be pleased if we returned without everyone else."

"Rationally I know that, but..."

Kili nodded, "You feel like if you can't see her, it was only some sort of dream. Like you'll wake and she'll be gone again. Wait here, don't move."

He jogged over to where Tauriel had emerged from the inn and talked to her hurriedly. She nodded and headed back inside while he made his way back over to Fili. "Tauriel's gone to fetch our things and everyone else. Why don't we start walking, slowly, back there?"

Fili turned back towards Bag End, his heart lightening fractionally. "Thank you. I know I sound crazy."

Kili teased, "No more than usual." His expression became serious. "After everything, it's no surprise that you're all wound up. It'll take some time and being around her for a bit, but this feeling will fade away. Someday, you might even be able to laugh about it. And really, she's probably having as rough a time as you are. Remember, she's known that you were alive but couldn't go to you since the battle, at least that's what I'm assuming. Why I don't know because you guys wouldn't tell me, but you know what I mean. It's going to take some time for both of you to get back to normal. But seriously, no more kissing like I walked in on earlier. Save that for after the wedding or amad and uncle will skin me."

He punched Kili on the arm, but it lacked heat. "You're one to talk. How many times have I caught you two kissing in corners?"

Kili grinned cheekily at him, "But you're older and heir, you're supposed to be setting a good example for me."

Tauriel chose that moment to join them and smacked Kili lightly on the back of his head. "Quit tormenting your brother." He whined and she ignored him, turning to Fili, "She is ok, your One?"

Fili smiled at her, having grown fond of the elleth. "She's all right. We didn't have much time to speak before Kili interrupted, but she's alive and well."

Tauriel rolled her eyes. "I tried to stop him, but he was convinced that something had happened to you. Patience never was his strong suit." Kili muttered but they both ignored him and laughed at his disgruntled expression. Turning shy suddenly, she asked, "I should've asked first, is she willing to see me? I can go back to the inn if she's not."

Kili wrapped an arm around her waist reassuringly, "She's going to love you and you'll like her too. She's fun."

Tauriel looked unconvinced so Fili added, "She said that she wants to get to know her future sister and welcomes you to her home."

The word sister appeared to floor the elf as well and Kili shot Fili a look as if to say, see, it's not so strange.

They topped the hill and Bag End appeared. Tauriel examined it carefully before exclaiming, "What a charming home."

Fili said proudly, "Her father built it for her mother."

Making their way up the walk, Fili pushed open the door and walked inside. Feeling his chest ease slightly, he called, "Bella, love?"

She appeared in the kitchen doorway, her cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling. While he had been gone, she had changed into a crimson skirt and white blouse with a emerald green corset. Fairly dancing over to them, she brushed a kiss on Fili's cheek before turning and looping her arm through Tauriel's. "C'mon, I need another pair of hands and it will be fun to get to know you. The rest of you, leave all your large weapons in the chest, you may keep your daggers and any weapon small enough to fit in a pocket. The meal will be ready in just a few."

Tauriel looked startled and looked at Kili pleadingly, but he just grinned at her encouragingly. Turning, he laughed when he found Fili standing frozen, staring after Bella. He teased, "Breathe, nadad. You look like you were just hit by a cave troll. The sooner you get rid of your swords, the quicker you can go join them."

Fili started to remove his swords then froze, indecision warring on his features. Kili gently coaxed the swords from him. "She's perfectly safe here. And if something decides to attack a house full of dwarves, you still have all of your knives. I mean, how many do you even have, do you know?"

He said shortly, "Enough. Maybe. I could probably fit a few more."

Kili sighed, "You have enough to fight off a berserker army. C'mon, she'll be wondering what's taking so long or if you've run for the hills."

He scowled at his brother and Kili held up his hands in surrender. "Stupid thing to say, sorry."

Right then, Bella popped her head back into the hallway. "Could you guys move the table back where it was the first time? There's not enough space otherwise. Then I'll need some help moving dishes to the table, so be quick about it."

Relieved to have a task to keep himself busy, Fili grabbed Kili and towed him over to the table. It only took a minute to move it, especially with Dwalin and Bifur helping. Once they had it set up to their satisfaction, they trooped into kitchen, gawking at the sheer amount of food that Bella had made in such a short amount of time. She laughed at them, "Tauriel knows what ones to take, listen to her."

She danced past them, brushing a hand lightly over Fili's arm as she passed. Entering the hall, she saw the other dwarves waiting quietly in the hall, their faces unsure. Feeling herself tear up, she flew over to them, pulling them into hugs, "Ori! Look at you! Bofur, your hat is still as jaunty as ever! Bifur, you lost your ax! Can you speak common again? Dwalin! How in the world did you convince them to let you come? I'm sure that you're invaluable to Erebor!" She hugged them all again, just for good measure, squeaking out a laugh when they hugged her hard in return.

She gently smacked Dwalin's shoulder, laughing at the fact that her feet were dangling off the floor, "Let me down. Everyone, go sit, I'm sure that you're starving. Dwalin, help me grab some ale, we need to celebrate!"

If there were tears in the gruff dwarf's eyes, she kindly ignored them, bustling over to the pantry and showing him what cask she wanted brought out. Returning to where the table was, she allowed Fili to pull her down into his lap. She frowned at the quiet dwarves, "Oh no, this won't do at all. This is cause to rejoice. Tell me everything that's been going on while I've been gone, I'm dying to know how everyone is."

Surprisingly, or maybe not because he was exceedingly deep feeling, it was Bofur that spoke up, "Why did you leave, lass? Without even a word."

Her heart dropped and she felt Fili's arms tighten around her waist. She said softly, "I'll tell you all later, I promise, but I don't want to talk of such sad things right now. Tonight, we're together again, I just want to enjoy that fact, please." Fili dropped a kiss onto her hair and she smiled up at him at him before returning her attention back to the others. "I am so glad to see all of you. So tell me everything, how is restoring Erebor coming? Have Gloin and Bombur's family made it to the mountain yet? Did Bard take over leadership of Dale? How long did it take Kili to finally work up the nerve to ask Tauriel to court?"

Tauriel giggled at that, their time together in the kitchen having done much to put the elf maid at ease. "Long enough, I thought I was going to have to ask him instead. But he managed to scrape up his courage and asked me shortly after midwinter. He was so adorable that I couldn't help but say yes."

Bella grinned at them, noticing that they had laced their hands together, "Kili is a good dwarf, even if he does remind me of an overgrown puppy sometimes. An excellent archer as well. I think that you two fit each other well."

The rest of the table started teasing the couple and Bella relaxed as the tension eased. Absently feeding Fili a bite of food, she asked Ori, "What about you and your brothers? I can see you as a royal scribe, Nori of course has to be spymaster, but I'm having trouble deciding on Dori. He could be a guild master, royal tailor, or tea shop owner."

Ori grinned at her, "He decided to open his own tea shop, although he can't remember where he learned his favorite blend. Your recipe, perhaps?"

She smirked at him, "Perhaps. We'll have to talk more, I want to know all about the great library of Erebor."

Fili nudged her to get her to take a bit of game pie and she took it, distractedly nodding her thanks while she chewed. Movement caught her eye and she looked over to see Bofur juggling some rolls. She laughed, even as tears pricked at her eyes, "Oh Bofur, I've missed you and your good cheer. A steadier friend I've never had. I suppose that Bombur's the royal chef while you two oversee the reopening of the mines, with plans to open a toy shop when things get steadier?"

Bofur grinned and tapped his nose, "Right on the money, lass. Psychic, you are."

She chuckled, "We traveled together for months, of course I remember talking to all of you about what you dreamed of doing."

Bofur nodded at her, "You always were a good listener, plenty of good ideas as well."

The table fell silent as his words sunk in. She said hesitantly, "You, remember?"

He frowned before his eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said, "Aye, I remember everything! Coming here, the quest, Smaug." Horror filled his eyes as he mumbled, "All of it."

She looked from dwarf to dwarf and each nodded. She threw her arms around Fili's neck and hugged him hard, "It's a miracle! Praise the Valar, I never thought that you'd actually remember me. I have my family again!"

Fili hugged her to him, running his hand gently up and down her back, "Aye, love. A gift indeed."

Bella beamed at them, "This is indeed a celebration! If you remember me, you'll remember how much hobbits adore kin, food, and parties. We have all three right here! I'll explain everything, I promise, but tonight is only happiness!"

Fili kissed her lightly, "As my lady decrees."

This caused Kili to mock gag, which broke the strain of the group. The rest of the meal was filled with unbridled merriment of companions long lost and happily reunited. After the meal they cleaned up the way they had the first night they were there, much to Tauriel's dismay and Bella's delight. They then retired to the parlor, where the dwarves pulled out their pipes and made themselves comfortable, singing and laughing. It was a much merrier gathering than that first night had been, as well as one of love and bonding. In other words, it was perfect.

* * *

It was past midnight when everyone finally started winding down and heading off. Tauriel had decided to bunk with Bella, so that they both could be properly chaperoned. Fili had lingered, hoping to steal one last kiss from his lass before he turned in. However, when Kili shuffled off to bed with dire threats if he didn't join him soon, Fili couldn't make himself move.

With a sigh of relief, Bella motioned for him to come over and sit in front of her chair on the rug in front of the fire. He did as she asked, but was rather puzzled as to what she was up to. Then she said shyly, "Do you still have your comb? I never got to put your braid in today."

Unable to speak past the lump in his throat, he wordlessly passed her the comb. She sighed as she looked at his messy locks. "Oh Fili, you haven't been taking care of yourself."

She gently started unraveling his braids and he swallowed hard at the feeling of her dainty fingers in his hair. Desperate to distract himself, he said roughly, "They were nice and tidy this morning, but I kept running my hands through them. I was out of my mind with worry about you. I couldn't figure out why the company would've forgotten you, why I would've forgotten you. I was half convinced that you had died on the battlefield and that we had all gone half mad with grief."

He chuckled, relaxing slightly under the gentle strokes of the comb. "You can ask Dwalin when we get back to Erebor. When I dreamed of you falling in the goblin tunnels, I went and trashed the training room. Was that where I had lost you? Was that why you weren't by my side? Or where you some sort of specter that I had made up in my poor scrambled brain from my fall from Azog? Had I slipped over the edge into madness?"

She soothed him. "I understand. At least I knew that you were alive. Sometimes I thought that I would go mad with the grief and loneliness of missing you. You were alive, but I could never see you again. Still, I would do it all over again."

He reached up and captured her hand, bringing it down and pressing a gentle kiss into her palm before letting it go. "I would've never stopped looking for you. Never. You are my heart and I was only half alive without you. I can't wait to introduce you to my mother. She's going to adore you as much as I do."

She sighed and handed him back the comb, carding her fingers through his hair and carefully sectioning it off. "Is it too late to change my mind? I've heard some stories about your amad. She sounds, fearsome."

He tilted his head back and grinned at her. "Yes, it was too late the day I met you. If need be, I'll camp out in your front garden in full view of Hobbiton until you agree to come with me and be mine. And you'll love amad, she doesn't let uncle get away with anything."

With a gentle frown, she tilted his head back down. "Hold still or this is going to be all crooked. I'm out of practice, I haven't done this for months."

He obediently settled down and just basked in her presence. After a few minutes, she said quietly, "I missed this."

He said drowsily. "Missed what, mizimith?"

"You're going to think me silly."

"No I won't."

She admitted shyly, "I've missed being able to braid your hair. To tell the world at a glance that you belong to me and I belong to you. I miss these quiet moments between us, when the world just seems right."

Before he could reply, they heard a quiet, "Awwwww", from the direction of the doorway.

Bella looked over to see Kili and Tauriel standing in the doorway watching them, Kili had his arm around Tauriel's waist and Tauriel was leaning her head on Kili's. Both wore soft smiles.

Fili said dismissively, "Ignore them. They are helplessly nosy and Kili is a hopeless romantic as well."

Bella returned to her task, but said tartly, "I'm starting to rethink my stance on siblings."

There was the sound of muted giggles and then a single set of retreating footsteps. However, when she looked back over, they were both gone. She murmured, "They're gone."

He said softly, "Good, nuisances. I didn't intrude on his courtship with her, he should respect my courtship with you."

She said hesitantly, "Is that what we're doing?"

He waited until she had clasped off the final braid before looking up at her and frowning, "What do you mean? Is there a problem?"

She hesitated, fidgeting with the hem of her blouse and not meeting his eyes. He turned and moved until he was kneeling in front of her. Nudging her chin up so that she met his eyes, he asked quietly, "What's wrong, ghivashel? You can tell me, anything, anything at all."

"I know that last time, circumstances were less than ideal and that you had to skip several steps."

"But?"

"I don't want to court." His face froze and she hurried on. "I know that we'll have to wait until we reach Erebor and probably a bit of time after that to get married, but I still want to be betrothed to you. I don't want people to think that you are available to be courted by anyone else. I know that betrothals can still be broken, but it shows that we have made a commitment to each other. I know that that's selfish of me, but I can't help it. When I dreamed of you in Erebor, there were always dwarf maids around you. I know that it's silly, but it hurt so much to see that. I had given you up, so that you could live and be happy. I knew, in my head, that that meant that someday you would marry and have children, but oh how my heart ached every time I thought of it."

He leaned forward and kissed her. This one was different from the others that they had shared. This one was gentle and tender, full of love and devotion, letting her know how much he loved her and adored her. He lingered, placing small kisses on the corner of her lips before returning to kiss her fully. It was so achingly sweet and she couldn't help melting into him. 

Finally he pulled back and smiled crookedly at her. "There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. Dwarves are very possessive of those we call ours and the thought of you with someone else makes me see red. I am delighted that you still want to be betrothed. I won't promise that I won't still court you on the journey back, but I'm delighted that you still want to be betrothed. As for waiting until we reach Erebor for a wedding, I'm more than willing to marry you right here, even right now if you want."

She reached out and cupped his cheek gently before leaning in and claiming his lips in a tender kiss. She pulled back, "How did I get so lucky? But no, we will marry in Erebor. You deserve to have your family there, as do I, to have them celebrate with us. Erebor deserves to celebrate a royal wedding again. It will drive away the last shadow of Smaug."

Smiling, she rose to her feet. "Now, I'm going to turn in before my resolve crumbles and I beg you to marry me right this minute. Sleep well, my love."

He rose as well, his voice soft and tender as he said, "Until morning, love."

He watched until she disappeared into the room, slowly exhaling as the door shut. He couldn't help the giddy grin that crept over his face. She loved him, she still wanted to marry him, and she was willing to return to Erebor. He was blessed beyond measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this note is going to be long, apologies in advance -
> 
> 1\. This is not the end of the fic. I'm going to make sure that the entire company is reunited and that Bella/Fili are wed before it's over. My muse demands it.
> 
> 2\. Oddly enough, this is the first scene that I ever wrote for this story, the one that sort of gave me the idea for the entire story. It just sorta snowballed from there.
> 
> 3\. In case you're wondering if the entire company has their memories back, the answer is no, it's a proximity to Bella thing, more will be explained about this later.
> 
> 4\. I was watching bits of The Hobbit and LOTR on youtube and part where they're leaving for the Grey Havens at the end of The Return of the King and Gandalf tells them that he's not going to tell them not to cry? Yeah, I totally had Yavanna say that because it fit so well with the entire story that I couldn't resist. Tolkien rocks!
> 
> 5\. So yeah, I think that's it. Thanks all you amazing readers, you have kept this story from dying much too young or taking too long to complete because of your lovely comments and kudos. I love all of you!!


	29. The Truth Comes Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone - You are loved and we will get through these trying days together. I hope that this story gives you laughter and joy and I hope that you know how much joy all of you bring to me

Bella woke slowly, not wanting to let go of the lovely dream that she'd been having. To think, that Fili might have actually remembered her and actually come to the Shire to fetch her. It was both heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. Sighing, she gently touched her braid. She needed to stop putting it in, it was clearly causing her to have false hope, which had translated over to her dreams. Opening her eyes, she confirmed that she was alone in her room, no Tauriel anywhere in sight.

She clenched her jaw tightly, breathing out through her nose as she stared at the ceiling and tried to get her emotions under control. She allowed herself three deep breaths in and out before pushing the hurt and anger aside and locking it away. She needed to finish the book and move on with her life. Determination washing through her, she sat up, resolved to finish writing the ending today and quit mooning like a tween. Rising, she dressed in a simple brown skirt and cream blouse with a black corset, practical colors to ground herself and help her to remember that fairy tales didn't come true and happily ever afters didn't necessarily happen. She undid her braid with stiff fingers and stuffed the bead into the pouch clumsily, tucking it eagerly out of sight. The loose curls fell into her eyes and she shoved it impatiently behind her ear. Once she was done writing, she would cut her hair back to a more sensible length. It was time that she became a respectable hobbit once and for all and gave up her silly pining.

She was making her way from her room when she stumbled over a pack leaning against the wall near the door. She frowned at it, not recognizing it and wondering what it the world it was doing in her room. Her eyes widened as she suddenly saw the bow leaning against the wall next to it, the distinctly elven bow. Hope flared almost painfully in her chest and she wrenched open her door, only for the normal silence of the smial to greet her. Torn between hope and fear, she tentatively made her way down the hall and into the kitchen, her heart jack rabbiting in her chest.

She had to lean heavily against the door frame as her legs suddenly refused to support her and she must have made a sound of some sort, because Dwalin who had been quietly working on something at the kitchen table looked up inquisitively. If Dwalin was here, that meant that it hadn't all been a dream, that Fili truly had remembered her.

She must've been pale with shock, because Dwalin pushed to his feet and moved towards her, asking quietly, "Lass, yer pale as a ghost. What's wrong?"

Unable to speak because of the tears suddenly clogging her throat, she found the strength to push of the doorway and run to him, throwing her arms around him while burying her face into his chest and weeping. He scooped her up as easily as a kitten, moving back over to the chair that he had just abandoned and sinking back into it. Rocking her gently, he soothed tenderly, "I've got ye, lass. Yer safe now and we're here. Everything's goin' ta be all right." When she couldn't stop crying, he just tucked her in more comfortably and rumbled, "Go ahead and cry, get it all out of ye. Ye've been a right brave lass for a long time now. I've got ye, just let it out. A little cry never hurt anyone anyway and ye'll feel better when yer done."

She didn't make a sound as she wept, just clung to him hard while tremors wracked her frame and hot tears soaked his tunic. He just allowed her to cry, running his hand soothingly up and down her back, able to guess well enough what had set her off. Although it had been hard on Fili, to have no memories of his One, he at least had been surrounded by kin and kept busy. The lass had undoubtedly gone through it all alone, why, he didn't know yet, although she would tell them when the time was right. But she had had no one to talk to, no one to grieve or mourn with, no one to hope or rebuild with. This was all quite evident by how no one had arrived to check on her the night before or this morning, although word had surely circulated about strangers in the Shire by now. Never again would she be alone, they would all see to that, make sure that she knew how much she was treasured and loved.

Fili and the rest came trooping in a little later, but she didn't even notice their presence as Dwalin hastily signed for them to be quiet. All of them traded troubled glances but slipped quietly away except for Fili. He hovered next to them, his expression torn between frantic fear, desperation, and helplessness. Dwalin motioned for him to sit and that everything would be all right. Fili carefully sat, his hands curled into fists as he watched his beloved crying in Dwalin's arms. He could see no hurt on her, so what then had wounded her to the point of tears? 

After what seemed like hours, her tremors finally started to die off and her grip on Dwalin's tunic eased slightly. Seemingly satisfied that she was calming down, the guard stood and moved over to Fili, carefully transferring her over into his arms. Fili stared at him bewildered but Dwalin just stared at him in return for several long moments before nodding and turning, quietly making his way out of the room.

Fili carefully smoothed a hand over her hair, not wanting to upset her further, and hummed an old lullaby that his mother used to sing to him and Kili when they were just dwarflings. His voice seemed to soothe her as she gave a shuddering sigh from where she had tensed and burrowed into him, as if she wanted to hide from the world. He wrapped an arm around her while the other continued to stroke her hair, mindful not to crush her to him as he longed to do, wanting nothing so much as to tuck her in next to his heart where he could keep her safe and protected from all that would harm her.

It took several more minutes for her to calm entirely and her shaking to stop. Finally, she let out a soft, hiccupy sigh and mumbled, "If this is a dream, don't let me wake."

Suddenly understanding her tears, he coaxed her out until he could tilt her face up enough for her eyes to meet his. Even tear ravaged, she was beautiful in his eyes. Pressing his forehead gently to hers, he said softly, "This is no dream, we are really here, I am really here. I'll never leave you again, my Bella."

She whispered softly, her voice hoarse with tears, "I woke alone and thought that I had dreamed you all. I thought that I had lost my mind and simply dreamed what my heart yearned so deeply for. So many times have I ached to be with you again, only to wake alone and cold in a home that contains only ghosts."

He smiled at her gently, pulling back just enough that he could kiss away her tears before pressing his forehead to hers again. "It is not a sin to grieve, love. I have yearned for you as well, so fiercely, even when I could not remember you. How much harder must it have been for you, to have remembered all of us but not been able to say a word? I will spend the rest of my life devoting myself to your happiness, if you will but agree, amralime. For every moment that you felt sad and alone, I will offer you a thousand moments of happiness if it is within my power to do so."

She sighed softly, threading her fingers into his hair and pressing her forehead even more firmly against his. "Fili mine, you have already filled me with much joy. I never thought that I would see you again. To be here, in your arms, it's a gift beyond price. I'm just, rather, overwhelmed. It is so hard to believe that this is real, that this is true." She sniffled and then chuckled wryly, "I don't suppose you have a handkerchief, I forgot to grab one this morning."

Chuckling, he leaned back and pulled out one with a flourish, "Dreadfully handy thing, handkerchiefs. I find that they are a must have when one travels, don't you, love?"

Snagging it from him, she blew her nose as daintily as she could, which wasn't all that dainty after a hefty crying jag. Mopping at her face, she muttered, "I must look positively dreadful and it's a miracle that Dwalin didn't run from Bag End screaming when I went all weepy on him. I don't know what's come over me."

He slid a finger under her chin and lifted it until she met his eyes. He admitted softly, "When I dreamt about what happened that day on the rampart, I wept like a pebble. It was Dwalin that comforted me as well. He understands the pain that we've been through and he cares for you, deeply. He wasn't upset that you cried but honored that you actually trusted him enough to let him see you vulnerable. It will take time, for us to believe that this is real and that we have found one another again. It will also take time to work through the pain and heartache of this separation. But I would walk that road to healing together with you, if you will but let me."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed her lips firmly to his. It was a kiss of brokenness and healing, grief and joy, a shared past and future hope. After several long moments, she pulled back and buried her face in his neck, breathing deeply of the scent that was uniquely Fili to calm herself. He played absently with one of her curls, both of them drawing strength from their nearness. 

Finally she sighed and pulled back, meeting his eyes regretfully, "I really need to pull myself together and get some breakfast going before Kili comes barging in here and interrupts us again. Plus, I'm being a terrible hostess, allowing you lot to go hungry first thing in the day."

He gently cupped her cheek, stroking his thumb over her cheekbone, "I think that you are beautiful no matter what, amralime. And none of the others will bother us until you give the word. I'm am sorry that we gave you such distress upon waking alone. I just wanted to surprise you and I needed the others help for it. I should've guessed as to how it would distress you."

Her curiosity piqued at that, even as she smiled warmly at him, "No regrets, Fili mine. We will craft and forge a new path, together. But I am curious as to what surprise it would take all of you to put together."

He rolled his eyes before smiling shyly at her, "Well, originally it was just going to be Tauriel, Ori and I, but where Tauriel goes, Kili follows. And of course, Bifur wanted to know what we were up to, so Bofur came along. Only Dwalin remained behind, to guard you and so that you wouldn't have an empty house to wake to, although that rather failed."

He frowned and she gently reached up and smoothed his brow, "That still doesn't tell me what you were doing, Fili."

He drew a deep breath, "I wanted to make you a courting bouquet, like I did at Beorn's, to show you my intentions, but I needed some help finding the right flowers."

She positively melted at that and nothing would do but for her to steal a kiss from him. When they parted, he teased, "You haven't even seen the bouquet yet, I could've accidentally said something horrible."

She grinned at him, "I don't care, it's the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me. Show me this bouquet and then you can help me start breakfast for our family."

Sucking in a deep breath at her words, he gently placed her on her feet before standing and making his way over to the pile of flowers that he had dropped by the door upon seeing her crying. Carefully rearranging them so that they were tidy, he brought them over and offered them to her shyly. She took them, her cheeks turning pink as she read the message of love and adoration, healing and promises for the future, peace and happiness that the flowers contained. She said softly, her voice husky, "Oh, I see that I'm going to have to keep an eye on you. If you keep on being so sweet and perfect, I'm going to turn into a total watering pot. I've never been offered such a beautiful bouquet before, it moves my heart, dear heart. If I didn't already love you, I think that these flowers would've sent me head over heels."

Relief washed over his face and she couldn't help pressing a kiss to his cheek before bustling off to find a vase to place them in. Filling the vase with water, and taking the opportunity to wash away the evidence of her crying jag, she hummed as she carefully arranged them. Fili peeked over her shoulder and watched quietly for several moments before asking uncertainly, "Bella, is there a reason that you're not wearing your braid?"

She whirled to face him, her eyes wide as she fumbled for the pouch, "Oh my, I totally forgot. I thought that I had dreamt all of you returning and blamed it on the braid, on hanging onto the past. I was determined to move forward, to be happy that you were alive and happy. I was going to finish my story and then cut my hair and do my best to be just a plain hobbit again." She pulled out the bead and offered it shakily to him, "Would you be willing to rebraid it for me?"

Horror washed over his face before it was swiftly replaced with determination, "If the braid makes you remember everything, remember me, you are never allowed to take it out again." He brought a chair over and urged her gently into it before swiftly rebraiding her braid even more intricately than he had the night before. Snagging the bead from her hand, they both sighed in relief when he clipped it into place.

Running a finger lightly over her braid, Fili teased, "If I have to braid every curl individually so that you'll have no choice but to remember me, I will do so."

She laughed at that, feeling relief flowing through her. "You don't have to go quite that far, love. However, I would appreciate it you would braid my hair like you did after Carrock. That was so nice and neat, kept it all under control and out of the way."

He beamed at the request and quickly set to work. She smiled brightly when it was all done, only her betrothal braid hanging loose and tapping reassuringly against her temple. Standing, she ran a hand carefully over it, "Oh, that's so much better. I hope you know that you're going to be stuck being my hairdresser for forever. Now, I really do need to get breakfast started."

He laughed and dropped a kiss on the top of her head, "You act like being your hairdresser is a hardship, I adore your hair. Now, what do I need to do to help out with breakfast?"

* * *

Kili paced the parlor anxiously, ignoring Tauriel's attempts to calm him. He couldn't remember seeing Bella cry, ever, and they had been through some pretty rough stuff. So what in the world had reduced her to weeping as brokenheartedly as Fili had that night in Rivendell? He all but flew to Dwalin when the guard entered the room, his expression thoughtful.

Kili demanded, "What is it? What happened? Why was she crying like that?"

Dwalin raised an eyebrow at the impatient lad before moving over and sitting slowly on the sofa, Kili shadowing him uncertainly. Dwalin sighed and told the silent group, "The lass has gone through all of this alone. We didn't remember her, but that might've been a blessing in it's own way. Now she, on the other hand, has known all along where we were, that we were alive and didn't remember her. She's had to face all of this alone for months and months now. As far as she knew, I wager, she didn't know if we'd ever get our memories of her back. And no one was there for her. I'm sure that word of our presence traveled through this place like wildfire. Has a single other hobbit shown up? To check on her, make sure that she was ok? Not a one. The lass hit a wall, I'm sure that she's overwhelmed by all of this."

Both Bofur and Kili were clenching their fists as he spoke, anger and sadness warring on their faces. Kili swore, "Never again, she never has to be alone ever again. We'll take care of her, treasure her."

Dwalin said quietly, "You'll give the lass and your brother space. It'll take time for them to work out all that is between them. But yes, she's ours now and they don't get her back. She's coming to Erebor with us, where we can keep an eye on her and treasure her as is proper."

Tauriel sighed, tugging absently on one of her braids, "This is partially my fault, I should've left her a note or something. She must've thought that she'd dreamed it."

Kili turned to face her, frowning, "Why would you think that?"

Tauriel smiled at him, "Because, there were times when we first started courting, when I didn't see you for days and weeks on end, that I started to think that I had just dreamed it all. I'm sure that she has had dreams that seemed real, only to wake and discover that she was still alone. It isn't hard to put it all together."

Kili sighed, moving over and hugging her gently, "Well, we'll just keep reminding her that it was not a dream then until she actually gets it." He grinned at her, "Would it help if I did something monumentally stupid, something so stupid that she couldn't possibly have dreamed up something like that."

Tauriel laughed, "Why don't we let your brother reassure her first and save that idea for a later date if nothing else works, ok?"

He pouted, but couldn't contain his worry, releasing Tauriel and starting to pace again. He waited for several more minutes before he couldn't contain himself and went to peek in on the pair, see if she was still crying or not. To his relief, the sound of soft laughter was coming from the kitchen. Cautiously peeking around the corner, he drank in the sight before him. Bella and Fili were standing side by side, working on a counter. Fili was chopping something while she was stirring together a batter of some sort. Fili had clearly braided her hair and she looked composed. Fili asked her something and she turned her head and looked up at him. 

But what took Kili's breath away was their matching expressions of utter peace and love. He hadn't seen his brother look at peace and happy, actually happy, for well over a year now. Bella said something teasingly to him and he had laughed without taking his eyes off of her, his expression content and adoring. He said something back that made her laugh and reach up to playfully dab a bit of batter on his nose.

Unwilling to break their moment, Kili carefully backed out of the kitchen. They would be just fine, they all would.

* * * 

Only a short time passed before they had breakfast ready, although she teased Fili that breakfast would've been ready even quicker if he hadn't kept stealing kisses. He just shrugged and kept moving the food out to the other room. When they finally had it all transferred, they called everyone in to eat. Bella quickly claimed Fili's lap again, knowing that she would need his strength to get through the meal and what she had to tell them. But both Fili and she had agreed that it was better if they just told everyone now instead of making them fret the entire way back to Erebor.

Once everyone's plates were filled, she said quietly, "I know that I worried all of you this morning, I want to apologize for that." Kili started to speak but she shook her head and he settled back into his seat. "Fili and I have been talking, and all of you deserve an explanation. You deserve to know what happened, why I'm back here in the Shire and not with all of you at Erebor. And before you ask, it was not the gold sickness. I might've scolded you but good once you had all recovered, but it wouldn't have driven me away. You are all my family, I love all of dearly, I hope that you know that."

Dwalin looked at her solemnly, "You tell us what you need to at your own pace, lass. None of us will push you for more."

She smiled at him, leaning even more into Fili. "Thank you, Dwalin. However, it's better that this comes out now." 

She looked at Fili and he rested his forehead briefly on hers and murmured, "You can do this, amralime."

Taking a deep breath, she turned her attention back to the table. "After that morning on the battlements, I went with Gandalf. I was shook up and a little bit angry, but I still hoped that everything would work out all right. However, I had not factored in that thrice cursed orc and his spawn. I spent the majority of the battle looking for all of you, praying that you were safe. But it was all for naught." She swallowed hard, stifling a sob. Fili pulled her even closer to her, trying to reassure her that he was there, alive and unharmed. She wove her fingers through his and continued, "During the battle, the line of Durin fell."

The dwarves looked at each other in confusion, even while Tauriel paled and reached for Kili's hand, as if to reassure herself that he was really there. Dwalin looked back and forth between the two princes, his brow creased in confusion, "What do you mean, lass? They are right here, alive and hale."

Bella nodded, grounding herself in that fact. "Yes, that's true. But it wasn't true then. You all ended up in an ambush set up by Azog. He killed Fili, then Bolg killed Kili. Thorin managed to kill Azog and I hoped, for a moment, that he would survive. But he too, left for the halls. The battle ended, had even been won, but at such a cost. I wept next to Thorin, that day, unable to contain my sorrow at the loss of all three of them."

Fili pulled her closer, murmuring reassuringly in her ear. Feeling stronger now that she had actually voiced the worst bit, she turned and smiled reassuringly at him, pressing a brief kiss to his cheek before turning back to the table. "There, as I wept, Mahal and Yavanna appeared to me. They asked me why I wept and after I told them, they offered me a boon. In exchange for all of your memories of me, they would restore the line of Durin. However, I could never speak or see them again. If any of you realized that I lived or who I was, things would return to what they were. In other words, all three of you would die again."

Kili had paled a little bit as she spoke, but asked firmly, "But that doesn't make any sense. We're here with you right now and we're just fine. And even if that were the case, why did you have to come back here to the Shire?"

She smiled at him, "If you even received word of me, you would die, that's why I had to come back and pretend that I was a normal, hobbity hobbit, as you like to say. But the thing is, Yavanna offered me a boon. If you all remembered me without any mortal help, then you all would live and my lifespan would be extended to match Fili's. If you didn't remember, I would live out my days as a hobbit would."

Ori's eyes widened as he glanced up from where he was writing frantically, "The soul dreams!"

Bella nodded happily, "Yes. I didn't know that was even a thing. But apparently, the soul remembers, if one looks for it."

Kili said firmly, "He was looking. Has been looking for months. When he woke up in the healing tent after battle, he said, 'What about?' but then couldn't finish the sentence. We wrote it off as part of his head injury, but he was looking for you from literally the first moment."

A sigh of relief escaped her and she turned to smile warmly at Fili, her lips trembling slightly, "Oh love. Praise Yavanna and Mahal."

Fili had forgotten entirely about that, but agreed heartily with the sentiment. However, before he could kiss her like he wanted to, she twisted back to face the table. "Does anyone have any more questions?"

This opened the floodgates and the dwarves peppered her with dozens of questions that she answered to the best of her ability. As they talked, Bella felt something in her settle, realign, as she realized that they were real and they were here. Finally, they ran out of both questions and food. Bofur and Bifur offered to take care of the dishes, something that Bella accepted gratefully. All of the dwarves hugged her before scattering about the house to take care of small repairs that they had noticed that the smial was in need of.

Bella stopped Fili and told him to wait in the hall while she changed really quickly. Running to her room, she quickly changed into an emerald green skirt, a white blouse, and a gorgeous goldenrod corset that was reminiscent of the vest that she had worn on the quest. She whirled back out down to the hallway to where Fili was waiting for her. 

He looked at her appreciatively, "I'm not saying that you're not gorgeous, because you are, but why did you feel the need to change?"

Snagging her burgundy shawl and her market basket, she handed him the basket before cheerfully looping her arm through his and tugging him out the door. "What a hobbit wears indicates how they are feeling sometimes. I wanted to ground myself in reality this morning when I thought that I had dreamed you, so I wore grounding, somber colors. But now, I want everyone to know how radiantly happy I am."

He grinned at her, "Well, far be it from me to hide your happiness. But I'm puzzled, where are we going?"

Bella grinned before trying to look up at him innocently, "Why, Fili, we're going to the market. After all, I was not expecting such an influx of kin and I simply do not have the staples to feed all of you properly."

He eyed her suspiciously, a smirk curling one corner of his mouth, "Why do I get the feeling that it is much more than that?"

She moved closer to him, laying her head lightly on his shoulder for just a moment before continuing walking. "I'm honestly just going shopping. However, if I get the opportunity to show of my incredibly handsome fiance, well then, who am I to complain?"

He chuckled at that and she joined in. They were almost at the market when she sobered, "I should warn you."

He frowned, concerned by how the sparkle had dimmed slightly in her eyes. "Warn me about what, love?"

She sighed, "I am considered odd around here. You will more than likely hear unkind remarks about myself and possibly even you. I don't care what they think and neither should you. We'll be leaving for home soon, anyway. But I'm asking you anyway to not take offense at what people say. It is unimportant and I don't care." She sighed before trying to lighten the mood. "However, if you want to subtly drop the fact that you are a prince directly in line for the throne, if it won't compromise your safety, I won't demur."

As they walked into the market square, he lifted their entwined hands and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. He murmured, "Your wish is my command, amralime."

They made their way smoothly through the market, only receiving a few slights here and there, all of which were muttered quietly enough that they could ignore it. Bella was surprised when she saw Lobelia also shopping. This was not her usual shopping day. The only thing that she could think of was that Lobelia had heard of her visitors and had come to discreetly investigate. Since the midwinter festival, the two women had reached a peaceable truce, although neither of them would ever be best friends.

However, she was surprised when Lobelia marched up clutching her umbrella and demanded, "What are your intentions towards my cousin, Master Dwarf. And if you're the one that broke her heart, you have a lot of nerve showing your face around here."

Bella hastily intervened, hiding her surprise and unexpected warmth at Lobelia's defense of her. "Cousin, this is my betrothed, Fili of the line of Durin, crown prince of Erebor. Fili, this is my cousin, Mrs. Lobelia Sackville-Baggins of Hobbiton."

Fili bowed deeply to her, something he'd no doubt learned from either Thorin or Balin, "Charmed to make your acquaintance. I appreciate you watching out for my Bella, it warms my heart to find that her relations hold her in such high regard."

If he expected Lobelia to swoon or melt at his charm, he was highly disappointed. Lobelia sniffed haughtily, "Betrothed or not, prince or not, neither of these explain why she returned to the Shire alone."

Bella smiled and reached for Fili's hand, "I'm afraid that that was my fault, Lobelia. I received a report that he was killed in battle. Unable to handle the grief, I headed for the Shire immediately. As it turns out, he was wounded and it has taken him months to heal enough to come after me."

Lobelia eyed them suspiciously, "And why couldn't he have sent you a letter?"

However, Bella had already anticipated that as well, "We met while I was escorting caravans. He didn't know exactly where I lived and as you know, the Shire can be quite the large place for those who don't know it. It has taken him this long to find me and discovering that he is alive brings me great joy. He and his kin have traveled far to bring me home to Erebor. Why don't you come over tomorrow evening and dine with us, so that your mind might be at ease."

Lobelia nodded sharply, "I shall do that indeed. Otho and I will see you at seven, Bella. If you need anything, anything at all, send word." With that, she turned on her heel and strode away.

Fili opened his mouth to speak and she nudged him gently with her elbow, murmuring softly, "We'll discuss this back at Bag End."

He nodded agreeably, allowing her to lead him to the next stall. This proved to be a mistake as the lass manning it was quite bold and didn't care that he was betrothed to Bella. In fact, she straight up told him to leave Bella and that she herself was a much better catch then some spinster of a mad Baggins. Before Fili could open his mouth and verbally shred her, Bella gave her a sharp smile and coolly informed her that she and her family had lost all of Mad Baggins custom then. The lass paled at that, but Bella moved off before the lass could stutter anything out.

They selected a few more items before leaving the market. Once they were out of the market, Bella dropped his arm and stormed ahead, stomping as she stewed and muttered under her breath. Fili searched desperately for something to say to soothe her, but feared that anything he said would only make it worse. Finally, they reached Bag End and she stormed inside. Once Fili was inside, she shut the door firmly before pulling him down into a scorching kiss. Before he could respond, she pulled back and scowled at him, "You are mine, no matter what those shameless hussies may think. I will be in the kitchen and I want to be left alone!" Pulling the basket from his unresisting hands, she turned on her heel and stomped down the hall to the kitchen.

Totally baffled, Fili went in search of Dwalin or Bofur. Surely one of them could give him advice on how to soothe an irate dam when he was seemingly being blamed for something that was entirely not his fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To @ThisBadge, your reviews gave me great joy and a bright spot in my week
> 
> And to  
@StrictlyNoFrills and @ISeeFire  
Your stories always bring a smile to my face and an escape hatch when reality just gets too overwhelming
> 
> Next Chapter  
They leave the Shire and head back towards Erebor


	30. Relationships Old and New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Bella was throwing together a late lunch, slamming pans as she rattled around the kitchen, her temper still burning brightly in her. After all this time, having to lock up her feelings, after months of pretending to be a respectable hobbit to protect him, some flighty Bracegirdle lass thought that she could sway him away from her. Oh, she wasn't worried that Fili would stray. The fact that he had remembered her clearly indicated that he was her soulmate. But losing him and grieving him was still fresh and it would take time for her mind and heart to really realize that he was here, alive and safe, going to take her back to Erebor.

Movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention and she turned to find Bofur peeking around the corner, waving his hat like it was a white truce flag. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips despite her not wanting it. He said teasingly, "Permission to enter the kitchen?"

She huffed but couldn't stop the smile from becoming a full one, "You might as well, I doubt that I could stop you."

Bofur grinned and plopped the hat back on his head, entering the kitchen, "Nay, lass. My brother taught me well the dangers of entering a kitchen with a cranky cook." Pulling a chair out, he flipped it around and straddled it. "Now, what's got you so unsettled, lass?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, "Why do you ask?" 

He folded his arms on the back of the chair and rested his chin on them, "Well now, you've confused the lad right proper now, you have. Rather than trying to figure out what the hobbits did to upset you, I thought it better to get it straight from the source. You're a straightforward lass, after all, and I figure that you'll either tell me what is bothering you or tell me that it's none of my business."

She turned away from him to stir a pot. She sighed and admitted quietly, "It's rather petty of me."

Bofur chuckled at that, "Love can make all of us rather petty. Still, I hate to see the both of you struggling, especially as you two were so recently reunited."

She turned back to him, absently wiping her hands on her apron. "Did he tell you what happened?"

Bofur nodded, "Aye, he said that the two of you went to the market for supplies, your cousin questioned him and you invited her to dinner tomorrow, and then a girl was fresh, causing you to withdraw your custom. Afterwards, you wouldn't speak to him and tell him what was wrong."

Bella almost snarled, "That Bracegirdle upstart told him that I was just a strange odd hobbit and that she was the much better choice."

Bofur straightened, his expression turning serious, "Well now, that puts a different light on the whole thing entirely. If you're worried about Fili..."

She waved that aside, pulling the pan off the heat before plopping gracelessly into a chair across from the hatted dwarf. "It's not that, I trust Fili completely. He wouldn't have remembered me if he had eyes for anyone else. It's just..."

Bofur studied her closely, his voice turning soft and coaxing, "Just what, lass?"

She sighed, looking up from where she was picking as a loose thread, "It struck a raw nerve. I mean, we traveled halfway across Arda, through some really trying circumstances. Don't get me wrong, I adore him completely. But at the end, I lost him. As far as I knew, I would never see him again. I came back here and tried to fit back into the mold of a perfect hobbit lass so that word would not travel and get back to all of you. But the truth is, I never fit that mold in the first place, I've always been, different, from the rest of them." She chuckled tightly, "I guess that there's a reason that Gandalf chose me for the quest, I can't imagine the others doing half of the things that I did."

Bofur nodded, a twinkle in his eye, "Take it from a miner, you can have a vein filled with gemstones that are beautiful and sparkly and precious stones that every one wants to work with. But the discerning ones value the gems that are different from the rest, like pink pearls or blue diamonds."

She looked at him, her eyes widening slightly, "There are such things?"

"Aye, lovelier than you would believe. When we get back to Erebor, I'll show you a few. You are an extraordinary lass and of course the regular lassies are going to be envious."

She smiled at him, feeling her cheeks heat, "That's very sweet of you, Bofur."

He doffed his hat elegantly to her before winking saucily at her. Then he sobered and asked, "So, what is it about that little meeting bothered you?"

She reached up and absently traced her braid, seeking comfort from it, "I've always been the odd one out, been different. I love Fili, with all my heart. But we've been apart longer than we've been together. And most of our time together was during trying circumstances."

Understanding crossed his face, "You're worried that it was the excitement and danger that drew you two together."

She nibbled on her bottom lip, "Ones don't have to get married, do they? I mean, he came for me, but what if he doesn't care for the boring, day to day person that I am?"

Bofur seemed to come to a decision and stood abruptly, "Wait here, I'll be right back. And if you'll whip up some sandwiches, I'll get the others out of your hair as well."

Confused as to what he was up to, she nevertheless stood and hastily started throwing sandwiches together. Bofur returned just as she finished, towing Fili along with him. Bella frowned at him but he ignored her, kipping the sandwiches and leaving, calling over his shoulder, "Give her the first, lad."

Bella frowned at the doorway for another moment before turning back to find Fili watching her intently. She felt her face heat up and looked down, studying her feet as if they were the most interesting thing in all of Arda. 

He called softly, "Bella?" 

She shook her head stubbornly, refusing to look up at him. "Bofur shouldn't have bothered you. It's nothing, really."

He crossed the kitchen and stopped right in front of her, his boots toe to toe with her feet. He gently lifted her chin until her eyes met his, "If it upsets you, it's not nothing, no matter how silly it seems to be. And trust me, I'm sure that it's actually quite sensible compared to some of the things that I'm used to dealing with. Remember, Kili's my brother."

This piqued her curiosity and it slipped out before she could stop herself, "What do you mean?"

"A month before we left Erebor, he told me that he was was worried about whether or not he should shave his beard because elves don't like facial hair. And when I pointed out that he was a dwarf, he looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Tauriel loves him the way he is, but he worries too much. Thankfully, he's gone to either me or Tauriel before doing anything truly outrageous, but I will disown him if he tries to do a mohawk like Dwalin had."

She couldn't help laughing at that, even as she tried to picture Dwalin with a mohawk. "Dwalin had a mohawk?"

Fili nodded, guiding her over to a chair, "Yes, he shaved it off for the quest, claimed that he wouldn't regrow it until we regained Erebor successfully."

She frowned at that, "Then why has he not regrown it?"

Fili turned the chair that Bofur used back around and sat down, his expression solemn, "I think he knew deep down that we were not all there, without you, it wasn't successful."

Feeling herself tear up at that, she quickly sought to divert him, "So, what did Bofur say to you?"

Fili tugged lightly on his braid, looking thoughtful, "He said that you and I needed to talk, that you had some questions about Ones."

Bella twisted her hands in her lap, "Ones don't always marry, do they?"

He frowned at her, "You don't really think I'd take that other hobbit up on her offer, do you?"

Her eyes flew up to his, "No, of course not! It's just, we've never just been around each other, day to day. What if we don't, suit?"

He reached out and gently cupped her face, his confusion clearing up, "Ah, now I understand why Bofur said that we needed to talk." She leaned into his touch and sighed, causing him to relax at well. "First off, we are not obligated to do anything that you don't want to. You are literally the other half of my soul, that's all that I care about. Also know this, a betrothal can be broken off any time up until the day of the marriage, no questions asked. If you find that we don't suit, we don't have to marry, simple as that."

She looked at him wide eyed, "What do you mean, if I find that we don't suit."

He smiled tenderly at her, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter what happens. And if you want to know the truth, I'd welcome ordinary days between us, where nothing of note happens. However, I know that hobbits are different than dwarves, so I'll not force you into anything."

It was her turn to reach out and gently cup his cheek, "Oh love, I adore you. I just know that I'm not like the dams. They are strong, brave, and fierce. I'm just, me."

He took a deep breath, clearly getting his thoughts in order before he spoke. "When a dwarf wants to court someone, he creates something called a First gift. It's to show the one that he intends to court how he sees them. If the person receiving it thinks that they have seen them truly, then the courtship will commence. I crafted one for you."

Reaching into his inner jacket pocket, he carefully withdrew a cloth wrapped package and handed it to her. She took it and set it in her lap, carefully examining the fabric. It was gauzy piece, light and airy, indigo blue shot through with silver threads. It looked like she was holding a piece of the night sky in her hands. She breathed, "It's beautiful."

He smirked, "That's just the wrapping. Open it."

Her fingers trembled but she carefully worked the knot loose, unwrapping it layer by layer to find a delicate charm bracelet. She felt her eyes widen when she saw it, "I saw you working on this."

He blinked, surprised, "What do you mean?"

She traced the actual bracelet, "You had just started it, I couldn't even tell that it was going to be a bracelet. You looked tired and thinner than the last time that I'd seen you, and you were concentrating intensely on a delicate bit. You managed to get it just right and you gave that grin, that one that makes your eyes all soft and warm, when you're happy with how things were. Several of your braids needed redone, strands were coming loose. I spoke to you, but you didn't hear me of course. Then I woke up."

He swallowed hard, "Bella, that was months ago."

She nodded, eyes still fixed on the bracelet. "Yes? Is that important?"

He called her name, causing her to look up, "Bella, that was a soul dream. That means that even when you knew that I didn't remember, your soul was calling for mine. Was that your first dream?"

She shook her head, smiling shyly, "No, I'd had a couple before that, just day to day life in Erebor for you, training with Dwalin, things like that. Can I look at the charms?"

He nodded speechless over this, even as his heart ached with gratitude and love. She picked it up, carefully examining the charms. "That's my door, it even has the mark that Gandalf made." She giggled, "And the trolls. Now wasn't that a fiasco. What does the flower represent?"

He cleared his throat, "Rivendell, our time there was peaceful."

She nodded, "The stone giants and the eagles. You know, the other hobbits would really think that I'm crazy if I tried to explain to them about that." She covered her mouth, her eyes growing moist. She said softly, "Our bouquet. It's perfect, how in the world did you ever get such fine detailing done?"

He shrugged, "It's hard to explain, I can show you how sometime."

She nodded to show that she understood what he'd said, still examining the charms. "The butterfly from Mirkwood. Did I tell you about it?"

"I saw it, in the dreams. I never expected such beauty in that desolate place."

She moved quickly over the next two charms, "The spiders, of course, and the escape. Now, wasn't that exciting? I'm so glad that Kili is doing well now. And Smaug looks so lifelike, I can't believe how you captured him down to the last detail. I almost expect him to speak, in his snarky, egotistical voice."

She came to the last charm and hesitated. She examined it closely, before running her fingertip over it. She asked softly, her voice unsure, "What does this charm mean to you?"

His hand gently covered hers, trying to impart his strength to her, "That morning on the battlements, when Thorin did the unforgivable. What do you see?"

Her hand trembled although her voice was still steady, "I see my heart the day that you fell. The world went silent, you know. I didn't know if it was because the world ended or because my world had ended. I wanted to curl up and die, but I knew that you would want me to keep going, to keep living. So I went looking for Kili. After all, you had spent your whole life protecting him, so how could I do any less?"

He protested quietly, "Bella, you don't..."

She shook her head, knowing that she wouldn't be able to speak of it ever again if she didn't keep speaking. "I arrived just in time to see the light fade from his eyes. Bolg, you see. So I looked for Thorin. He was battling Azog." She sobbed slightly before she caught herself. "He was fighting him on the frozen river, of all place. You Durins put a whole new definition of reckless, I hope you know. We managed to kill Azog, then Thorin begged my forgiveness for his actions. I hoped, for just a moment, that he would actually survive. But he passed too. I couldn't believe it, you were all just, gone. I'd never even gotten to tell you goodbye, or that I loved you. It broke me, that moment, in a way that I had never thought that I could be broken."

A broken noise escaped him and he reached over, pulling her into his lap. Fine tremors ran over her but her eyes were still dry. He pressed a kiss to her curls, rocking her back and forth. "If I could take that from you, love, I would. In a heartbeat."

She straightened but didn't try to get out of his embrace. Instead, she cupped his face and drew it down until his forehead rested against hers. Her eyes shimmered with tears and yes, there was pain, but there was also hope and joy. "No, they are part of who I am now. But I have been blessed beyond measure. To have you here with me now, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world." She smiled and it only trembled slightly, "And this way, I get much more time with you than I would have before. Yes indeed, I have been blessed."

They stayed like that for several minutes, just drinking in the other's presence. Eventually, she sighed and pulled back. His arms tightened around her, not wanting to let her go yet. She smiled and brushed a gentle kiss over his lips before saying, "Fili, you need to let me go. You know that your brother is going to be bounding in here any moment."

Fili only pulled her closer, a mischievous smirk on his face, "We could always sic Tauriel on him."

Bella shook her head, "No. Now let me go."

He sighed but did as she asked, "Only for you, ghivashel."

She reluctantly hopped off his lap before remember what she was actually doing. She scooped up the bracelet that had fallen to the floor and slipped it on. "It's beautiful, Fili. I really think that you've seen me truly. This is us, this is our journey. Wait here."

She scampered from the room, but was back only moments later, carrying a leather bound book. She came over and stood in front of him, holding it out. He took it but she didn't release it. She took a deep breath and softly, "You know how you said that my soul dreams were a sign that my soul was calling yours?" He nodded. "Last year, around the first snowfall, I couldn't stand the loneliness anymore. I begged Yavanna to allow me to write about the journey. I promised that I wouldn't talk to anyone, but I wanted just a small thing, to remember all of you, that I had the company that I considered family and a dwarf who I loved deeply and all of whom had loved me in return. If she would just grant me this boon, I would burn it come spring and never speak of you all again. However, I think since things have worked out the way they have, the Green Lady wouldn't mind if I didn't burn the book. It's not done yet, but I want you to consider this my First gift to you."

She released it and he took it carefully. She held her breath as he slowly paged through it, pausing here and there to read a passage before continuing on. Finally he reached the end, where she had stopped after that morning on the battlements. She admitted, her voice hushed, "I couldn't write the next part. I just wasn't strong enough. I knew that had to finish it, to get closure, but I just couldn't."

He closed the book, awe filling his gaze, "It was you."

She tilted her head, "I don't know what you mean."

He reached out and snagged her hand, bringing it up and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "These were my dreams. It would most likely have taken me longer to remember if you hadn't needed to write it. I was looking for you from the moment that I woke up, it's true. But I didn't even know where to start looking. But your heart was looking for it's other half just as strongly as mine was. When you wrote, your longing was so strong that it called to me from half a continent away. It was your words that I saw in my dreams, that led me back to you. I will cherish this, although I am sure that you will want to finish it at some point."

He stood and pulled her into his arms, kissing her. She sighed happily, slipping her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry that I was cranky with you earlier."

He teased, "I don't know, that kiss was pretty amazing. However, I would prefer to know why before you kiss me senseless next time."

She rolled her eyes and said drily, "I"ll make sure to keep that in mind." She brushed a piece of hair from his face, searching his eyes, "I want to go home."

He smiled at her, "Whenever you want."

She asked hesitantly, "Can I bring a few things?"

He vowed quietly, "Whatever you want. I'll speak with Dwalin, he'll know the schedule of caravans from Ered Luin to Erebor. We'll send whatever you want with them."

She looked at him curiously, "Why wouldn't we travel with the caravan?"

He shook his head, "Both princes would make too much of a tempting target, it's better if we're not there. Not to mention the future princess of Erebor as well. No, we'll travel in the same group as we traveled with plus you. It's safer that way."

She nodded her understanding. "At least this time I know how to pack better for a journey. And I absolutely will not forget the handkerchiefs this time."

Right then, they heard the heavy tread of the others and they reluctantly separated. When the rest joined them, both Bella and Fili proudly showed off their gifts, the others exclaiming happily over them.

* * *

When they spoke with Dwalin about it after dinner, he told them that there should be a caravan moving through in about two weeks. He added gruffly, "Should be a raven showing up here any time now as well. Thorin will be wanting to know if you were successful or not, whether or not the lass will rejoin us in Erebor."

He looked at her curiously as he said that and she realized that she'd never explained her decision, "Erebor is home, Dwalin. Well, Fili is my home, but Erebor is a close second. I miss it, miss it dearly. I don't fit in the Shire anymore, I don't know if I ever did. Besides, Yavanna and Mahal granted me a lifespan to match Fili's. Yes, Erebor is where I want to be."

Dwalin hugged her gently, "We've missed you but we just want you to be happy, lass." He released her and grinned, "However, if you should be happier in Erebor, well then, none of us will nay say you."

She giggled at that, "I'd be very put out if you tried to stop me. Good night, Dwalin."

After he had left, she turned back to Fili, feeling suddenly lost, "Two weeks."

He pulled her gently into his arms. "I'm sorry, Bella. I wish I could grant you longer. But Kili and I really do need to get back to Erebor. There are duties awaiting us there."

She tried to soothe him, "I'm not upset, it's just rather sudden, is all." She reluctantly pulled away from him. "That means that I'd better get to bed. I have lots to do if I'm to be ready to leave in that amount of time. Not to mention that Lobelia and Otho will be here for dinner tomorrow. I'll need to go shopping again, but I think I'll take Dwalin or Bifur this time. You and your brother are both too pretty to be allowed out of Bag End."

He smirked at that and she rolled her eyes, giving him a quick peck before slipping down the hall to her room.

Going inside and quietly closing the door, she was surprised to find Tauriel sitting cross legged on the bed, obviously waiting for her. She asked softly, not wanting her voice to carry, "Was there something that you needed, Tauriel?"

The crimson haired woman offered her an apologetic smile, "I wanted to apologize. I should've left you a note. I didn't mean to cause you distress."

Bella smiled at her, moving towards the bed and unlacing her corset so that she could switch over to her night gown. "I'm glad that you didn't." When Tauriel looked puzzled, Bella elaborated, "I've been holding a lot in for much too long now. I needed to cry, needed to let all that pain and loneliness go. So really, there is nothing to apologize for."

Relaxing slightly, Tauriel sighed and stood, moving to change into her night clothes as well, now that she knew that Bella wasn't going to demand that she sleep elsewhere. "They're happier, you know."

Bella pulled her nightgown down, finally managing to get her head through the proper hole. "Who are?"

"All of them, really. There's a lightness, a joy to them, that I've never seen before. To be honest, I thought it strange that Fili was willing to travel all this way without knowing if you would even see him or not. I didn't even know if you really existed or where just a fantasy created by Fili's injury. However, the rest of them believed that it was something more, especially Kili. I've never been more happy in my life to be proven wrong. You are a vital part of their family, Bella, and they weren't complete without you."

Bella smiled at her and crawled into the bed. "Our family, Tauriel. For we wouldn't be whole without you either. The way Kili lights up when he sees you or talks about you. It makes me love you, even before I fully know you. I thought it funny, you know, the way you two were drawn to each other, even in the dungeons."

Tauriel stared at her, "You were there? How? I would've sworn that no one besides elves or dwarves were in the palace."

Bella giggled, "It's a long story, one that I'll have to share another time. However, we'll be leaving in a couple of weeks, so I need to get some sleep so I can deal with everything that needs to be done before we go. Not to mention that my cousin is coming over for dinner tomorrow. I don't know what in the world I was thinking when I invited her." She glanced at Tauriel, "I don't suppose you know any fancy elvish recipes that we could make?"

Tauriel shook her head regretfully, undoing her braids, "No, I was a soldier, not a cook. I can get by well enough on basic recipes and simple rations, but anything fancier is beyond me."

Bella yawned widely, "That's ok. I can teach you some of the finer aspects of cooking if you want though."

Tauriel blew out the candle and snuggled into the bed, leaving only the glow of the fire for light. The elleth admitted shyly, "I would like that. I always wanted siblings, a brother to play with and to watch out for me or a sister to whisper and giggle with long into the night."

Bella smiled warmly at her, "I know what you mean. Hobbits usually have large families, between four to eight faunts. My mother could only have me. It was lonely, growing up with siblings. But I don't think that either of us will ever be lonely again, not with our dwarves."

Tauriel giggled at that, "You're right."

They ended up talking and laughing long into the night, long past when they should've been asleep, but Bella didn't begrudge the lost sleep. It was nice to have family again.

* * *

Bella was flustered, checking everything again and again. She had bullied and bribed the others into promising to be on their best behavior and now she was fussing over all of the dinner things, making sure that everything was just so. She had even snapped at Fili when he dared poke his nose in the kitchen and ask if she needed any help. His eyebrows had flown up to his hairline, but he didn't say anything, just disappeared again. She made a mental note to apologize to him later.

However, he was back a few minutes later with reinforcements, a.k.a. Tauriel and Ori. They watched her for a couple of minutes and then took over while Fili took her arm and led her out the back door, ignoring her protests. He led her to the hidden back garden, dropping her arm and allowing her to pace while he sat patiently on a stone bench. "Bella, you needn't fret. Everything is perfect and we'll all behave, you have my word. Why are you panicking? I thought that you didn't even like Lobelia."

Bella sighed, making her way over and plopping down onto the bench beside him, "I don't really like her, but I've come to respect her. Besides, she is my family and I want her to understand how wonderful you are."

He asked curiously, "What did she do to earn your respect? Finally give up on learning your lemon berry scone recipe?"

Bella sighed again, "Nothing so pleasant, I'm afraid." She shared what had happened during the winter solstice as well as the way that Lobelia watched out for her in her own way. By the time she finished the tale, Fili was the one pacing. 

His fists were clenching and unclenching as he paced and his face was livid. He growled, "You mean to tell me that some honorless piece of filth thought to force a lass, force you, into marriage."

Remembering her own hurt and outrage, she sighed, "He's been dealt with, wasn't even all that much of a challenge. Any one of you could have handled him in your sleep. Still, it was amusing to see him getting thwacked with her umbrella. Made it all so totally worth it. I must admit though, I really missed you, after that." She studied him before adding thoughtfully, "But maybe it was a good thing that you weren't there, after all. I'm fairly sure that you would have killed him."

Fili sneered, "Death would be too kind for one such as he. What happened to him?"

"Lobelia and I testified as to what had happened and a few more that had dealt with him before came forward. His property ended up being seized, his feet shaved, and he was exiled. The bounders and rangers also spread word far and wide about what had happened so that people would know to watch out for him. Beyond that, I don't know what happened to him, nor do I want to know."

Fili blew out a harsh breath, obviously trying to control his temper. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took three deep breaths in and out. Bella giggled at that and he turned his head to stare at her. "I didn't know that you did that too."

He frowned, puzzled, "Do what?"

She grinned, "Take three deep breaths in and out to help control your temper. Or before you do something that you don't want to do."

Fili chuckled, "Dwalin taught me to do that as a pebble after Kili had gotten into something of mine yet again. I've done it for so long now that it's become a habit, I guess."

She smiled softly, "My mother had a fiery temper as well. It was actually my father that taught me to do that. To control it for long enough to decide if it was really worth losing my temper or not."

He grinned, "And was it?"

She smirked at that, "A few times it was, yes. Most of the time, it was better to just walk away."

He came over and sat next to her, picking up her hand and lacing their fingers together. He offered her a crooked grin, "All right, let's both do it, take three deep breaths in and out. Then I'll set aside my need to go hunt down that waste of space and you can remember all the reasons that you didn't like Lobelia, so it doesn't matter if she enjoys the dinner or not. Also, if something goes terribly wrong, we're leaving in a couple of weeks anyway, so you won't have to face her again. So really, what's the worse that can happen?"

She bumped his shoulder with hers, but couldn't stop the laughter that slipped out, "Ok, I'm overreacting and you're having to restrain your homicidal tendencies. What a pair we make. I'd better get back in and finish up dinner. I love you all, but I sincerely doubt that either of them know exactly how to finish up the meal."

Right that moment, Kili stuck his head out the back door, his eyes large, and called, "Bella, you'd better get in here quickly."

Laughing, she untangled her hand from Fili's and rose. She gave him a 'See what I mean?' look before making her way in, reassuring Kili that it would be ok.

* * *

To her surprise, dinner went off well, everyone was on their best behavior and conversation managed to be noncontroversial. Bella could tell that Balin had been working hard with Ori on diplomacy. Plus, if she knew the scribe at all, as soon as he knew that they were heading to the Shire, he probably read all he could get his hands on about hobbits. It probably wasn't much, but it was better than nothing. Also, since Kili and Tauriel had started courting, the younger prince was much more settled, which she appreciated.

Bofur focused on Bifur, who appeared to have a headache. At one point, noticing this, Lobelia got up from the table and went into the kitchen, reemerging with a cup of her headache remedy for him, which honestly was second to none, before quietly resuming her seat. Watching this, Bella wondered at how Lobelia had changed. The truth was, Bella herself had changed as well. Maybe they had both matured and grown. A startling thought occurred to her. Maybe the Shire was as rough on Lobelia as it had been on Bella, only in a different way. Maybe Lobelia was a privately miserable as Bella had been. It was something for her to think about, on another day.

Dwalin actually carried the conversation quite well and she suddenly remembered that he was considered royalty or nobility, she couldn't remember which, but that he was also of the line of Durin. He had obviously received schooling alongside Thorin and the rest of them. She had never thought him dumb, but every new facet of his personality fascinated her.

Finally dinner was over and she and Lobelia retreated to the parlor while Fili and Otho went out for a pipe, more than likely for Otho to question Fili about his intentions per Lobelia's insistence. The rest of them had offered to clean up and Bella allowed them to do so. Lobelia sighed as she settled into a chair, her after dinner tea on the table next to her.

Bella said, "I hope that dinner was all right, I really wanted you to meet my family."

Lobelia was silent for a long time, carefully sipping from her tea before finally replying, "They are your family, aren't they?"

Bella frowned, "I don't understand."

Lobelia cut her off, "I never cared for you, you know. You were always such a free spirited child, with dirty frocks and flyaway curls and always going on adventures. And that your parents never seemed to mind if you came home and tracked mud through the house or not. Often as not, your mother was right there with you, just as messy and disarrayed and happy as you. When you became sole owner of Bag End, I hoped that you would settle down, for your own good, after all your parents weren't there to shelter you any more. But the light left you after that. You did your best to be a good proper Baggins and take care of your tenants and Bag End. But you were deeply unhappy, I could tell. When you disappeared, I honestly believed that you would never come back, that you had taken after your mother and managed to break free of this place, had gone looking for someplace that you would be truly happy."

Bella sighed, offering her a wry grin, "Oh no, something much worse happened. I allowed a wizard to talk me into an adventure."

Lobelia gave a disapproving frown, "Nasty business, adventures. Dreadfully uncomfortable as well. I hope that you've learned your lesson about listening to wizards."

Bella took a sip of her own tea to hide her smirk before replying, "Indeed I have. I can honestly say that I will never again go on an adventure like that."

Lobelia nodded sharply, "Good, now where was I? Oh yes, I remember. I never expected you to come back, I sincerely hoped that you had found happiness elsewhere. That or died quickly instead of the slow fading that I saw every day. Then you came back and you were changed. You were much, much too thin and your eyes were haunted. It took you months to leave your house and start interacting again. It took you time, but you finally started living again and aside from that nasty little incident at midwinter, you seemed to be coping."

Bella sighed, "I was doing my best, Lobelia, although I can't say that I was truly happy. The way things ended, I was heartbroken, but I was doing my best to go on the best way I could."

The other woman's expression softened, actually softened and she took another sip of tea. Seeing that her tea cup was nearly empty, Bella offered her a refill but she waved it aside. "When I heard that there were dwarves in the Shire and that they were heading towards Bag End, I marched over here to throw them out on their ear. They had no right to come here after uprooting your life and making you look like a ghost of yourself for months."

Bella asked softly, "Why didn't you then?"

Lobelia looked her directly in the eye, "I had just opened the door and was going to call your name when I heard it. You were laughing. I hadn't heard you laugh since you returned from wherever it was that you had gone. Rarely heard you laugh before you left, but never after you came back. And then you sang. I'd forgotten how lovely your voice was, just like your mother's. Her voice always charmed me too. There were times that I swear that the very birds would stop singing and come closer to listen to her. I left, you obviously weren't distressed, but I vowed that I would get to the bottom of this. But after dinner tonight, I think I know what the truth is. You love him, don't you?"

Bella smiled softly, "I do. He's my One, 'Belia. My heart broke when I thought him dead."

Lobelia sighed, "Well, there's nothing for it then. I'll take that tea now, thank you." After her cup was refilled, she asked, "So, I suppose you'll be leaving with him then."

Bella nodded thoughtfully, "Yes, we depart in two weeks' time. I've decided that Bag End will be going to Drogo and Prim. She's expecting their first, you know, and their smial is so tiny, no place for faunts. However, I would like for you to have Grandmother Baggins silver as well as several of the family recipes. I know that you will truly cherish them."

Lobelia searched her face sharply to see if Bella was mocking before smiling at her and saying softly, "I would like that. Very much, thank you."

They sipped their tea in companionable silence until Fili and Otho returned and the hobbit couple took their leave. As Bella and Lobelia hugged, Lobelia slipped a recipe in Bella's hand and murmured, "For the quiet one's headaches. If he takes it when they first start, it should head off the worst of it."

Bella hugged her again, "Thank you indeed, cousin. I'll bring the recipes round before I leave and maybe we can share another cup of tea while I'm there."

Lobelia sniffed, "See that you do. Come Otho."

Bella watched them go, a puzzled expression expression on her face. Fili came over and wrapped his arms around her, dropping a kiss on her forehead as he asked, "You all right, love?"

She looked up at him, "Have you ever been wrong about someone? I thought that I had Lobelia all figured out, but I was blinded by my own prejudice, I think. She just really surprised me, is all."

Fili smiled down at her, "Otho and I had quite the talk as well. He threatened me that should I ever mistreat you, Lobelia and her umbrella would come and straighten things out."

Bella giggled, "That is quite the threat, indeed."

Fili nodded seriously, "That's what I thought as well, so I did everything in my power to reassure him that I would treasure you as you truly deserve."

She was moving to kiss him when she heard a crash come from the kitchen. She called loudly, "Kili!"

He called back, "How do you know it was me? It could've been Bofur or Ori." There were outraged cries at this from the others.

Rolling her eyes, she slipped away from Fili and moved towards the kitchen and said tartly, "Because I know that neither Ori nor Bofur are foolish enough to try to juggle my seed starting pots to impress their ladylove."

She entered the kitchen just in time to see a seriously spooked Kili ask Dwalin, "How in the world did she know that? She's on the other side of the house."

Bella replied, "She's standing right here. And it had better have been a pot, because if it had been one of my fine china plates, I would have to kill you." She added absently to the elf woman who was smothering her laughter, "Sorry Tauriel, but I'm sure that you understand."

A chuckle escaped before she managed to stop herself as she replied, "Of course, Bella, totally understandable."

When Kili looked desperately at Dwalin for support, Dwalin just shook his head, "You're on your own with this one, lad. You should know better by know than to fool around with delicate things. How often did your amad try to pound that into your thick skull?"

Kili sulked, "Everyone has it out for me."

Bella laughed as she crossed the kitchen and hugged him, "Ah, we all love you, Kee, you know that."

He hugged her back, a smile on his own face, "I've missed ya, Bella. I'm glad that you're coming back with us."

She admitted, "Me too. Just refrain from juggling anything else until after we've left, if you please." He turned bright crimson and they all roared with laughter.

* * *

The days passed quickly and before she knew it, only a few days remained until it was time for them to leave the Shire. She had asked Dwalin to accompany her as she searched for some wild cuttings that she wanted to bring with her. Fili had remained behind to do some sparring with Kili, so Dwalin had agreed easily enough to go. They had found the clearing that she wanted and she was happily digging up some roots when he asked, "What's on your mind, lass?"

She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand absently, leaving a tiny smear of dirt across her forehead. "What do you mean?"

"Something's been weighing on you for the past few days, as we get closer to our departure. Is it Thorin? Because if it is, I swear that he is completely cured, you have my word."

Setting aside the basket, she sat and made herself comfortable, motioning for him to sit down as well. "No, I forgave him that months ago. He was himself during the battle, had come back to himself, I know not when. I know that I'll probably have some residual things to deal with, but I'll deal with that when it happens. No, there's something else on my mind."

He sat slowly, freeing an axe and laying it where he could reach it easily. She would've tried to persuade him that it was safe, that there were no dangers about, but it was such an ingrained habit that she doubted that he ever realized that he'd done it. "You and the lad have a tiff then?"

She smiled warmly at him, "No, although I'm sure that we will, sooner or later. We both have very strong personalities."

He laughed, "Aye, that you do. What's the matter then?"

She fiddled with her skirt, noticing a small tear in it that needed mended. It was her gardening skirt, so it wasn't a big deal, but a stitch in time saved nine and all that. He studied her closely, frowning slightly when she refused to meet his gaze, "Yer avoiding the subject and yer avoiding my eyes. This is serious then. Just tell me, whatever it is, we'll work it out."

She sighed and looked up at him with a crooked grin, "You're very kind, Dwalin. Yes, I have something I want to talk to you about, that's why I brought you out here. This way, if I've made an enormous blunder, no one will know but the two of us."

He sighed, one that spoke of long experience with mischievous dwarflings, "Well, if you have to use that many words to get around to it, I doubt that it's anything good. Might as well just spit it out."

"I made up all sorts of excuses, came up with all sorts of reasons. But the most important one is this. You've become very important to me, Dwalin. You've protected and cared for me throughout the entire quest. I find that I care for you deeply. So I want to know, would you be willing to build a family with me?"

He froze, shock evident on his features. He ground out, "What do you mean?"

She sighed, her face falling slightly. "I don't know if you know this or not, but I lost my family fairly young. It was during the Fell Winter, the wolves and orcs attacked." She swallowed hard and looked away before waving a hand as if she could physically push it away. "Needless to say, I lost both of them. I wasn't quite to majority yet, but old enough that I was capable of being on my own. What I'm trying so hard to say without saying is that I've come to consider you like a father to me. I think that both my parents would have approved of you. And since my lifespan now matches Fili's, I'm sure that I'm considered quite young by dwarves. If you don't want that, I understand, but I had to at least ask."

She looked resigned, like she already knew his answer and was bracing herself for the inevitable rejection. He pushed to his knees, reaching over and lifting her chin so that she met his eyes, "Whoa now, lass, don't be so hasty. Let me make sure that I understand you right. You want me to be your adad?"

She frowned, "I don't know what that means."

He clarified, "Yer da, yer father."

She smiled tentatively at him, "Yes, did I do something wrong?"

He sat back heavily, the breath whooshing out of him, "Now why would you want a thing like that?"

She frowned at him, "Why wouldn't I? You're kind hearted to those you care for, a protector. You've watched out for me, cared for, and guided me, much as I remember my father doing. You've always done your best to protect me without smothering me. But more than that, you're kind, thoughtful, smart, and have a wickedly dry sense of humor. I feel safe with you. However." She looked away before forcing herself to meet his eyes again, "If I've overstepped some sort of unspoken rule, I apologize. I haven't even told Fili, so he couldn't tell me if it was a good idea or a bad one. If I've distressed you, I am truly sorry."

He stared at her, his gaze searching, "You truly feel that way?"

She nodded firmly, "Like I said, I had all sorts of other excuses made up, like how I'd need a guardian to chaperone us until we reached Erebor or how it would be a good political move to align myself with another house so they can't just say that I'm marrying Fili because he's the crown prince or something. But the truth is, I've spent enough time missing and grieving all of you, that I'm not willing to dance around what I really feel anymore." She started to add to more, but then decided against it. She had spoke her piece, the rest was up to him now.

He was silent for several minutes before he finally managed to speak, his voice slightly hoarse with unshed tears, "I'd like that." He reached over and pulled her into a hug. "I'd be proud to call you my daughter."

She hugged him back fiercely, burying her face in his shoulder as happy tears slipped down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe, stay healthy, and best wishes for you and your family during these trying times.


	31. Return to Erebor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Nearly 10k hits, you guys are amazing! I never thought that this story would get this big or that this many people would read it. I'm blown away!
> 
> Also, Happy Easter Everyone!

They spent another hour happily chatting and gathering plants, Dwalin taking the time to braid her hair in a braid that marked her as a daughter of the line of Fundin, clasping it with one of his own. He told her quietly, "I'll make you one of your own, lass. It's just, I never thought that you'd offer me something like this."

She grinned up at him, feeling happiness in every bit of her being. "I never thought that I would see any of you again, would never be truly happy again. Looks like we were both wrong. Still, we'd better get back before the others come looking for us. How long do you think that it will take the others to notice my new braid?"

He grinned at her, "Want to make a wager?"

She laughed, looping her arm through his. "But of course! Did you learn nothing about hobbits on the quest?"

He grumbled, "Not enough, apparently, too busy trying to keep the blasted company alive. Looks like I have time to fix that though."

Bella nodded happily, "All the time in the world. Now, what's your wager?"

They haggled and argued most of the way back to Bag End, finally settling on acceptable terms. However, they returned to total chaos. Apparently, during their absence, the rest had decided to hold a tournament for some bizarre reason and her garden had become a free for all for all sorts of weapon sparring. They hadn't noticed until it was too late that they had trampled all over her garden and destroyed a couple of pots as well.

The sight that greeted Bella and Dwalin as they reached Bag End was frantic dwarves discussing something in Khuzdul while they tried to figure out how to mend the garden before she returned, a frustrated Tauriel watching them looking like she was on the verge of a full blown migraine. Shoving the basket into Dwalin's hands, she stormed into the garden, her expression undoubtedly furious. She kept her voice low, even though she was tempted to scream at them like a fishmonger's wife, "What have you done to my garden?"

They quailed, cowering away from her, and tried to stammer out an explanation that would make it not as bad as it was. Her expression didn't soften in the least and Bofur had the brilliant idea of shoving Fili forward, surely the lass wouldn't be too mad at him. However, before Fili could even open his mouth to speak, she held her hand up, "Not a word, I don't want to hear whatever explanation or excuse that you are about to offer me. I'm going to go into the house and try to calm down and Tauriel is going to come with me, because I don't think that she had anything to do with this."

Tauriel shook her head grimly, "I was tending my weapons and by the time I realized what happened, it was too late."

Bella nodded, "Myself, Tauriel, and Dwalin are all going to go into the house while the rest of you work on getting this mess back into order. There had better be progress when I return or no one will be getting supper tonight."

Turning on her heel, she stormed into the house, Tauriel and Dwalin trailing after her, Dwalin grumbling about fools that couldn't be trusted on their own for even a moment. The rest of the dwarves looked thoroughly chastised as they slowly started cleaning up the debris.

Inside in the kitchen, Bella motioned for Dwalin to put the basket on the table as she dropped down into a chair, her shoulders shaking. Before Tauriel could apologize or comfort her, Bella's laughter spilled out of her as she gasped, "Did you see their faces? Oh, that was priceless."

Dwalin frowned in confusion and Tauriel ventured slowly, "So, you're not mad?"

Bella shook her head, still laughing. "Slightly miffed, but more amused than anything. Luckily for them, that particular section of garden still needed prepped for Spring planting. No real harm done. However, if that had been done to another hobbit's garden, there would be a mob out for blood. This is what my father liked to refer to as a teaching moment. No, I'll let them fret for a little bit while I through together a picnic lunch and then I'll help them properly prep the area. It's a lovely day to have a picnic anyway and this will hopefully teach them to chose their sparring area with more care next time."

Both Tauriel and Dwalin joined in her laughter. "That's downright sneaky of you, lass. Remind me to not get on your bad side. Don't let them fret too long though, they'll probably do more damage than good trying to fix the damage they did in the first place."

Bella nodded, her laughter finally falling away, "Good point. I'll just get that lunch whipped up really quickly, Tauriel, wanna help?"

Seeing the humor in the situation now, Tauriel eagerly agreed to help out. "Of course, anything that you could teach me would be great. Oh, I can't wait to see Kili's face when he realizes that you weren't truly mad."

Bella laughed at that, "It's always good to keep them guessing, at least that's what my mother always said. Of course, my father was the sweetest, most laid back hobbit that you've ever met, they complimented each other so well."

They chatted about their families while throwing together a quick lunch, then made their way back out to the garden where their dwarves were unsuccessfully trying to right the garden. There was some pouting on the princes parts when they realized the truth, but their girls quickly charmed them into better moods. Once they'd all eaten, Bella showed them how to properly prep a garden.

As they were putting the tools away, Kili said thoughtfully, "This should be your craft."

Bella frowned at him, carefully rearranging her tool shed just so, "What do you mean?"

Kili nodded enthusiastically, "Every dwarf has a craft. For example, you probably know that Bofur's a miner and Dwalin's a royal guard and in charge of the guards. But did you know that Uncle is also a blacksmith? And our mother is one of the finest goldsmith's in existence. Now that we finally have the means, she can start practicing her craft again. But a craft is something that you are passionate and/or knowledgeable about. You seem to be both about growing things and truthfully, both Erebor and Dale could use someone like that. Dwarves have long forgotten how to tend gardens in our wandering and eking out a bare survival and the men of Dale have been fishermen for so long that their memories have faded as well."

She smiled warmly at Kili, "I'll think about it, nadad. It's not something that I've ever truly thought about. But you're right, it's something that I need to consider. Come on, I need some help moving the books I want to take with me."

They worked the rest of the day, stopping only briefly for meals. It wasn't until that evening when Fili went to fix her hair that was coming loose that they actually saw her new braid. The only thing to do after that was properly celebrate the new bond, which lasted long into the night and left all except for the hobbit lass hungover the next morning.

* * *

The next few days passed in a blur as she finished up all of her small tasks around the Shire. She sent letters to all of her Took relatives and a few even stopped by and checked out the dwarves themselves before cheekily congratulating her on her catching such a handsome lad and a prince to boot. She didn't know what they said to Fili, but each one of them told her that she had caught a good one.

She also had Ori help her scribe out several of the family recipes that she had promised Lobelia. His calligraphy was second to none and his illumination was second to none. It was actually a sense of relief that filled her when she handed them over to her cousin. Yes, they would never be best friends, but they had reached an understanding, something that she had come to appreciate over the last several months.

Finally everything was seen to and it was the time to leave. She had promised Prim that she would leave the key in the mailbox for her, having said her goodbyes the day before. The others had already headed down to the Green Dragon along with the small pony cart of her belongings that she was taking with her. She took her time locking the door, trying to fight back the tears that she could feel pressing at the back of her eyes.

Strong arms went around her, drawing her into a firm chest. Fili didn't say anything, just held her. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she sighed and leaned her head against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. After several moments, she laughed, the sound thick with tears. "It's just, this is where I grew up, you know? And it's the place where our story began. I'm going to miss it."

He ran his hand gently up and down her back, trying to comfort her. "It all seemed like such a grand adventure, Kili and I were so sure that it was going to be easy, that all that we had needed to do was wait for the right time. We found your Shire difficult to navigate, laid out as it is. But we were both so ecstatic when we saw the mark on the door."

He chuckled quietly, the laughter rumbling through her. "Then you opened the door and my world turned upside down. Your eyes were flashing with green fire, only to flush when you saw us standing there and tried to close the door on us. My heart hit my boots and I knew that I had to get in your house one way or another. I'd never been so glad for Kili's habit of barging in. I was so rattled that I tried to initiate courting right then and there with the weapons. And the rest of my actions that night were foolish as well. I just wanted to get your attention, to get you to look at me. I never meant to distress you so."

He pulled back and smiled down at her, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. "But by far my favorite memory of that evening was sitting quietly with you at the stream, just talking peacefully. You looked ethereal in the moonlight and the flower crown on your curls, Mahal, I'd never seen another lass as pretty as you were. I didn't realize at the time, but I gave my heart to you that night."

She chuckled at the memory, "I thought that all of you had the most dreadful manners, but looking back, I must admit that you were all behaving rather well. I admit, it took me a bit longer to fall in love with you though. It wasn't until I heard all of you singing that night, the longing and need for a home, a true home, that I gave you my heart in return, although it took me much longer to realize what had happened."

He bent down and kissed her softly, allowing his love for her to shine through. When they finally parted, she sighed and smiled up at him. Reluctantly moving away from him, she laced her hand with his and tugged him towards the front gate, stopping only long enough to leave the key. "Let's go home, love."

* * *

They met with the caravan at Bree, transferring her belongings quickly to one of the spare wagons, the caravan master promising to watch over her things with utmost diligence. It surprised her the deference the dwarf was showing her until Dwalin explained, "Your beads mark you as a daughter of the line of Fundin and One of the crown prince, not to mention a hero of Erebor. Better get used to it, lass."

She nodded her understanding, having already become accustomed to the beads in her hair. Thanking the caravan master, she left the rest of the details to Dwalin and Fili, Kili accompanying her the livery where she would leave the pony cart for one of her Took cousins to pick up the next time they were in Bree. While they were there, Kili checked to see if their ponies had arrived yet or not.

He was pleased to discover that they were there as promised and Bella had been over the moon to see them. Bouncing from pony to pony, she exclaimed, "Minty! Myrtle! Bungo! Daisy! They all survived, I can't believe it. I thought that the wargs got them for sure."

Kili grinned at her, "If you remember right, the wargs were too busy chasing us to care about the ponies. And this is a far different reception then the last time you first saw these ponies."

She rolled her eyes at him, "That was before I got to know them. They were good little ponies and served us well. It was such a shame to think that they'd been killed and eaten."

He teased her unmercifully about it for the rest of the night until Tauriel finally made him stop. They spent the night in Bree, leaving early the next morning. Fili helped her up into the saddle and then climbed up behind her. He murmured in her ear, "Just until you get used to riding again."

A shiver coursed through her and she knew that her face must be bright red from the way the Bofur, Kili, and Ori were snickering. Dwalin gave them a stern look of warning and then they were off.

It took a bit for her awareness of him to fade into something manageable, but then they started talking, all the little things that they hadn't had a chance to talk about. Truthfully, it reminded her a bit of Mirkwood, not the nasty sick trees and starving part, but the mornings spent talking with Fili and learning about him. When she told him that, he smiled at her and hugged her closer to him briefly before Dwalin cleared his throat pointedly.

After a quick break for lunch and to stretch, she ended up riding with Dwalin that afternoon, wanting to learn more about the dwarf she now called adad. He was happy to regale her with tales from his childhood and his time in Ered Luin as well as stories about the princes when they were pebbles. All together, it was a much merrier group this time around.

Since Bombur had stayed in Erebor, Bella was appointed cook, something that she accepted easily. She had tasted some of the others cooking and it was better all around if she just did the cooking. After dinner, the evening passed easily enough with songs and tales before they all turned in for the night.

* * *

This set the tone for the next few weeks and the travel went smoothly. At one point, they took a slight detour because Kili wanted to show Tauriel the trolls and Tauriel was curious to see them for herself, having never encountered any beyond the ones in the battle. 

Bella and Fili held back while the others went forward, Kili and Tauriel to look at the trolls and the rest of them to check out the troll horde to see if there was anything worth salvaging. She had admitted that she had taken a chest from the cache and they had just shrugged and nodded.

Bella turned to Fili who had been unusually quiet about the entire thing, "Dear heart, what's wrong?"

He frowned absently at her before shaking his head and pulling himself back to the present, "Nothing, just thinking."

She moved closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her. "About what? You seem troubled."

He sighed, pulling her closer into his side, "I still can't believe that I didn't realize how badly you'd been hurt because of mine and Kee's carelessness."

She rolled her eyes, snuggling happily into him, "I didn't even know how badly I was hurt, how in the world could you have known? Besides, this whole thing makes for an excellent story. It will have to be just so, but it will be so much fun to share."

He chuckled slightly at that, "Only you, love. Between you and Bofur, I don't know which one of you takes more delight in storytelling."

Thinking back over the events, she remembered something that she was still curious about. "Fili?"

He hummed thoughtfully as he examined the clearing, much more relaxed than he had been before, "Yes, love?"

"There's something that I'm curious about. Why were you embarrassed when you brought me my pack?" He stiffened, his cheeks coloring, as he remembered the incident. Now she was even more curious.

He took a deep breath, appearing to steel himself, "Do you remember what you were doing when I brought you your pack?"

She had to think carefully back, "Sunning? I think? I was grateful that the rain had cleared up, otherwise we would've been in a lot more trouble."

His voice was soft as he remembered, "You had your face tipped back to the sun, a small smile on your face as you soaked in the sun. I couldn't believe after everything that you could be so relaxed and just happy. Then you reached up and ran your fingers through your curls, fluffing them up, probably in the hopes of them drying out faster. As you know, the tending of hair amongst dwarves is very important. It's also very private. Only a spouse or family member is permitted to see a dam with her hair unbound and being tended. It's very, intimate."

She smiled up at him, even as she felt her cheeks heat up, "Ah, so that's why you were embarrassed. I had wondered, you know. Still, I appreciated you bringing me my pack, so there is that."

She was leaning up to kiss him when Kili came bounding back over, chattering a mile a minute, with Dwalin right behind him. Sighing, she muttered, "One of these days, I'm going to get to kiss you again without being interrupted."

Bofur called for them to come see what they'd found and they moved towards the cave, tucking away an unexpectedly fond memory.

* * *

They only stayed at Rivendell for a night, long enough to thank Lord Elrond for his assistance in reaching the Shire and to invite him to their wedding, whenever that would be. They'd also made the acquaintances of his children, Arwen and Bella hit it off immediately. Kili and the twins were never going to be allowed to interact unsupervised ever again, everyone agreed unanimously on that.

When they left Rivendell this time, Bella didn't bother looking back. She had found the place where she truly belonged and nothing else compared anymore.

They were halfway to the Misty Mountains when Bella and Fili had their first serious fight. Bella wasn't even sure what had set it off, only that they were suddenly screaming at each other, neither of them willing to back down on the matter. That had been three days ago and they hadn't spoken since.

Her heart was aching as she rode with Dwalin at the back of the line. It was edging towards evening when she couldn't contain her hurt anymore. Ignoring the tear trickling down her face, she looked pleadingly at Dwalin, "How do I fix this, adad?"

He sighed, gently stroking her hair, "What happened, mizimith? One minute, you two were fine and the next, you were at each other's throats."

She shook her head, bewildered, "I don't know, honestly. We were making plans about when we reached Erebor. When I brought up Thorin, Fili got angry for some reason. I thought that he adored Thorin, did something happen between them? When I asked him, he refused to talk about it. So I started talking to him about our training. I was excited about how much I've been learning, although I'll have to take it a little bit easy where my hand got cut. That really set him off. Something about me not trusting him, and that if I thought so little of him, I should just find someone else. I've been over it again and again and I can't figure out what I did wrong. So what do I do?"

Dwalin sighed, tucking her closer, "S'not you, lass, not this time at least. This is a dwarf thing, this time."

She pleaded, "Then explain it to me, so I can fix this. I miss him."

Dwalin sighed again, "What's between Fili and Thorin, you can't fix, that's up to them."

"What did happen? What did I miss?"

He shook his head, "You didn't miss it, lass. That's the problem. When Thorin attacked you that final morning, dared to lay hands on you, that broke a deep taboo and a deep bond of trust. You are the lad's One, you are to be protected at all costs. The fact that his uncle, his king, someone that he trusted his very life to, laid hands on you and tried to kill you. That is unacceptable, lass. I owe Thorin a few lumps for that myself."

She protested, "He was sick though, it wasn't his fault. Also, he apologized to me and I forgave him, surely that has to count for something."

He smiled down at her, "Aye, it means that you are too forgiving. And yes, you're right, he was sick which gives him a little bit of leeway. But it will take time for Fili to move past his anger and loss of you, to be able to think rationally. It probably won't happen until after he's punched Thorin, several times."

Bella just rolled her eyes at that, a tired chuckle escaping her, "And there's nothing that I can do to help?"

"Nope, just let it take it's course, although you can tell Fili that at least Thorin apologized to you. That might help, a little."

She frowned, "But that doesn't mean that I don't trust him. I thought that he was pleased that you were training me, that I was learning to better defend myself."

Dwalin chuckled at that, "He's pleased as punch about that, trust me, lass. No, it's something else, something I don't think any of us thought about, really."

She said dryly, "Another dwarf thing?"

He shrugged, "Well, we are dwarves, lass."

She sighed, "Well, this hobbit is at a total loss, so if someone could enlighten me, I would really appreciate it."

"I know that we've told you how rare dams are. It's part of who we are, an unbreakable part of who we are, to protect and take care of dams. That covers all areas, feeding, clothing, shelter, and health. Sure, you and I both know that it wasn't a bad cut, but the fact that you didn't even tell him so that he could make sure that you were all right, that was the final rock on the mine cart. Especially after talking about Thorin and he had to remember how he couldn't stop him that day, not to mention all that time that you were apart and he didn't know if you were all right or not. I'm not saying that the lad is right, but I can at least understand where he's coming from."

Bella muttered under her breath for several minutes before grabbing onto her patience with both hands. She said quietly, "I've had worse cuts from cooking. I made it back to the Shire all by myself. I've been taking care of myself for a long time. If all of you are just going to treat me as if I'm something breakable, then I don't know if this will work out."

He immediately shook his head emphatically, "No! Not at all! That's the last thing that any of us would ever do. It's a gift to be allowed to care for a dam. We're not saying that you can't take of yourself, just that you don't have to carry all of the burden by yourself. That it's ok to let someone else share the load and make sure that you're all right. That you don't have to be strong all the time."

She frowned, "But doesn't that just mean that he has to be strong all the time, instead, watching out for me every moment?"

"No, not at all. It's a give and a take." He sighed, running his hand over his head. "How can I say this in a way that will make sense to you?" He thought it over for several minutes and she allowed him to gather his thoughts. Finally he spoke, "It's about trust and vulnerability. You trust him enough to not always be strong, that he won't take advantage of your vulnerability and to watch over you until you can do it on your own again. And he will do the same for you, showing you the softness and tenderness that he can't show the rest of the world. It's about having someone that you trust implicitly to guard your back while you guard theirs. It's a partnership."

She allowed that to sink in while they rode and he permitted her silence. Finally she grumbled about hard headed dwarves and relaxed against Dwalin's chest. "I'm going to rest, I haven't slept well for three days now. If I can ask a favor, adad?"

He rumbled soothingly, "What would you have of me, lass?"

Feeling her eyes droop already, she mumbled, "Could you take over Fili's watch? I wanna talk with 'em when it's quiet, no interruptions, but it's dangerous to leave the camp unguarded."

He nodded, "Of course, mizimith. You two need to get this sorted out." He would've added more, but the sound of a gentle snore met his ears. Tucking her more securely against him, he rode on in silence. He couldn't wait until they reached Erebor and Dis could take over sorting out all this angst.

* * *

The camp had fallen silent when Ori came to him to switch watches, heading for his bedroll as soon as Fili sat up. Carefully securing his swords, he made his way over to the edge of camp. Settling on the lookout rock, he stared out into the darkness. In truth, he hadn't been sleeping when Ori had come to wake him. He hadn't slept in more than quick snatches since his fight with Bella.

His heart ached as he thought about the fight. He didn't know how it had all gone wrong so quickly, he only knew that he was to blame. She had come with them, forsaken everything of her old life, had kept his braid and beads all those months apart with no guarantee of ever seeing him again. Why then had he accused her of not trusting him? Why had he told her to find someone else? It would be so easy for her to find another dwarf, one who would properly treasure her, not just accuse her blindly.

His thoughts were interrupted when Bella plopped unceremoniously into his laps, his arms coming up around her reflexively. He stuttered, "Bella, what, I, that is."

She shushed him with a finger on his lips. "I've been talking with adad. He helped me to understand a few things."

Fili felt shame wash through him and hung his head, moving to let her go. She shook her head firmly, "No, no shame between us. Anger and shouting, yes. We are both strong willed people. But I will never turn away from you. Will you turn away from me?"

He crushed her against him, "No, never!"

She sighed, cradling into his chest, "I'm a hobbit, you're a dwarf, there is bound to be misunderstandings. Granted, we need to learn how to talk through them instead of just screaming at each other, but this is all new to me."

She raised an eyebrow at him and he answered hastily, "Me as well, amralime. I regretted my hasty words as soon as they left me, but I did not know how to fix the rent that I caused."

She sighed, "According to Dwalin, the need to care for your One is a deeply ingrained part of dwarves. It is not that you see me as weak, but rather a partnership. That we are each other's safe places, no matter what. The place where we can be totally, utterly ourselves without fear."

He nodded slowly, "That is an apt description. You are the only one that I will ever allow to see me at my most vulnerable, the one that I will come to when I had a hard day and I just need to be Fili, no one else. Not a prince or a dwarf or any of half a dozen other things, just Fili, just yours."

She offered him a crooked smile, "There you go being so sweet again. So here's what we're going to do. You're going to clean and re-bandage my cut, so that you can truly see that it's nothing to worry about. Then I want you to kiss it better for all the angst that you put me through. Then we both need to get some sleep, don't think that I've missed the fact that you haven't been sleeping either. Adad agreed to cover your watch for tonight. And tomorrow, we'll ride together and straighten out this whole mess, understand?"

He huffed out a sigh of relief, burying his face in her shoulder. He mumbled, "I don't deserve you."

She stroked his hair gently, chuckling slightly, "If you'll remember, dear heart, I was doing half of the shouting. We'll both learn. Just know this, I'm not letting you go and you'd better get used to the fact, mister."

He pulled back and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, "Nothing would make me happier, love."

Carefully unwrapping her bandage, he was relieved to see that the cut was as small as she'd said that it was. He gently dabbed ointment on it before neatly re-bandaging it, pressing a kiss to the linen over it once he'd had it sufficiently tied off. Satisfied that her wound was properly tended, he drew her into his arms and just held her for several minutes. She didn't protest, both of them rather unsettled from their recent spat.

Finally Dwalin shooed them off to bed. Fili walked her over to where her bed roll was laid out next to Tauriel's and kissed her briefly before moving over and laying down next to Kili. 

Snuggling into her bedroll, Bella vowed that they'd get a kiss soon where they weren't being watched every second.

* * *

Everyone was relieved that the two had made up the next morning, although Kili teased them mercilessly until she knocked him off of his pony. He'd sulked for a little bit before finding something else to occupy his endless energy.

Fili and Bella spent the next several days talking about anything and everything, making sure that the other knew exactly what they meant. They'd had several smaller arguments, nothing as grand as the first one, all of them quickly resolved. By the time they crossed the Misty Mountains, (No stone giants, goblin caves, or orc attacks thank goodness), they were much more settled and better understood each other. So much so that Dwalin insisted that Bella start riding her own pony. She had grumbled over that, but since Kili and Tauriel weren't permitted to ride together either, she didn't have anything to argue with.

She couldn't believe it when they actually made it to Beorn's without incident. He had greeted them heartily with his booming laugh and she had been unable to stop her own laughter, running forward and hugging him.

He lifted her up and boomed, "Little bunny! Look at you! Much happier than the last time I saw you in that nasty battle." His eyes widened, "Well, well, well, things have changed. You're courting the young lion and are now the cub of the bear like one. These are good things! We must celebrate!"

Without waiting for her to agree, he carried her into the dining hall and immediately called for his animals to prepare a feast. The rest of the group had trailed after him and he'd welcomed them just as heartily, demanding that they tell him the tale of their time apart. He made a most appreciative audience as they spun their respective tales. He'd been so pleased with their stories that he had invited them to stay as long as they'd wanted.

Knowing that Fili and Kili were needed back at Erebor, Bella had agreed to just stay for the night, but that they'd invite Beorn to their wedding. That had pleased him so much that he'd chosen to bring out his finest ale and before they knew it, the dwarves were embroiled in a drinking contest against the bear man.

Shaking her head in amusement at her kin's antics, (although if she had to chose a winner she was definitely picking Tauriel, she was almost as good as a hobbit when it came to drinking), Bella slipped silently away from the table and out into the garden. She had only wandered for a couple of minutes when Fili joined her, "What are you doing out here alone, love?"

She smiled warmly at him, slipping her hand into his, "Just thinking."

They strolled through the garden contentedly and he eventually asked, "About what? I thought for sure that you'd be the first to line up for a drinking contest."

"Ah, but this is a very special place. I just wanted to see the flowers and remember."

His own smile was tender and content, "Ah, yes. You know, my heart broke when you told me no. I was terrified that I had said something truly unforgivable with that bouquet."

She moved closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder. "It broke my heart just as much. But I was terrified that I would ruin your life. You had brought such joy and laughter into my life, taught me how to live again. I'd been alone for so long. And I knew how much already rested on your shoulders, I didn't want to add to that. It didn't help that your bouquet said everything that I had ever dreamed of hearing from a suitor."

He preened a little bit at that, "Everything you've ever dreamed of, huh?"

"Umhmm. You are my perfect match. Thankfully Kili got us talking, got me to admit what I feared. I still can't believe how incredibly brave you were, to put yourself out there like that."

He drew her over to the bench that she'd sat that first night and swiftly gathered the same bouquet, bringing it over to her. "Everything I said is just as true today as it was then. And I knew that you were a treasure beyond price, one that I would fight to win the privilege of sharing my life with you."

She was just about to kiss him when drunken laughter intruded on the moment, Kili and Tauriel giggling madly as they rounded the corner. Bella was quite frankly impressed that they were even able to walk as drunk as they clearly were. Seeing how close they were, Kili strode, well wobbled, over to them and declared slurringly, "'Ey, no kissy face. Not til yer married. Amad kill me, if you two keep being all kissy face. Dw'lin might kill Fee first, tho, cuz Bella's 'is cub, least that's what Beorn calls her."

Wondering just how strong the ale was, they hadn't been gone that long, Bella teased, "But what about you and Tauriel? You shouldn't kissy face either. What would your amad say about that?"

Kili made exaggerated shushing noises while Tauriel giggled some more, "Don' tell 'er, she'll skin me 'live."

Glancing ruefully at Fili, she rose and made her way over to Tauriel, "Come on, Tari. If I'm not getting any kissy face, neither are you." 

Looking over her shoulder at Fili, she winked and blew him a kiss, "Good luck wrangling your brother, love."

They passed a cheerful Beorn headed out to make his normal rounds, so that answered the question of who had won the drinking contest. Going into the hall, she found the rest of the group passed out and left them where they'd fallen. They were much too heavy for her to move anyway and if they were as boneless as Tauriel currently was, they'd be impossible to wrangle.

Oh, she was going to have so much fun with this.

* * *

The group had been slow to wake the next morning, all of them terribly hung over except for Fili and Bella. Oh, and Beorn, his booming laughter ringing through the halls. There were several winces and grumbles at this as they slowly forced down the hangover tea that Bella had brewed for them. Because of this, they ended up staying another night at Beorn's, although none of them took Beorn up on his offer to partake in more of his special ale.

Knowing how close they were to Erebor, the group set out eagerly the next morning, waving goodbye to Beorn who promised to attend the wedding when they had it. Unencumbered by injuries, they reached Mirkwood in just two days ride, spending the night camped out outside the forest before entering it fresh the next morning.

While they had been breaking down camp, something had been niggling at the back of Fili's mind, something important. Knowing that it was connected with the soul dreams somehow, he flipped through Bella's first gift to him. It was when he was reading about Mirkwood that it came back to him. The horrible pain that she had felt upon entering the forest.

Tucking the book back into his pack instead of shoving it in roughly like he wanted to, he made his way over to Bella and pulled her aside. Taking three deep breaths in and out, he asked her quietly, "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

She frowned, unsure what he was talking about, "About what?"

He caught her hands in his and squeezed them gently, "About how Mirkwood made you so sick."

Comprehension filled her expression, "Ah, that. I'm guessing that that's something else that the dreams showed you."

"Yes. Why didn't you ever say anything, love? To have to endure that day after day, without ever saying a word."

She sighed, freeing a hand so that she could reach up and cup his face, "If there was any way to reach Erebor in time by going around the mountain, Gandalf and Thorin would have taken it. And there was nothing that you could do to change it, all that knowing would've done would've just upset you. Besides, I don't even know how much was the ring's influence or Smaug's. The forest could be much healthier now for all we know."

He scowled at that, "Well, this time we're not on a strict deadline. We'll go around."

She shook her head pleadingly, "No, Fili. I know that you are ready to be back in Erebor. I won't lie, I'm looking forward to a bed and hot bath myself. We're not going to add weeks on just because it might hurt a little. Besides, we have Tauriel with us, which means that we'll get through much faster this time. Just let me try it and see. If it still really hurts and I'm unable to cope, we'll go around, I give you my word."

He sighed but said firmly, "If it hurts, we're going around. Promise me that you'll be truthful."

A group of elves had arrived at the forest's edge to escort them through and had been talking with Tauriel. She chose that moment to join them, "What would be painful, mellon nin?"

Bella regretfully shared about how the forest had hurt the last time they'd been through there, especially in areas infested by the spider taint. Tauriel had frowned at that, "The reports are that the forest is healthier than it has been in an age, although there is still a small nest of spiders that we have been unable to locate. But should the Green wood still hurt, we will find another way for you."

Bolstered by their reassurances, Bella carefully stepped into the forest, clinging tightly to Fili's hand. She let out a sigh of relief, "Tauriel is right, the wood is healing. There is still just a bit of pain, like an old healing bruise, but nothing unbearable. Also." Clinging tightly still to Fili's hand, she closed her eyes and stretched her senses out as far as she could.

Opening them, she asked Tauriel if she had a map of the forest. Her elven companions protested when Tauriel produced one, but both she and Bella ignored them. Finding the hidden vale on the map, Bella tapped it lightly, "That's where the spiders have retreated to. They are weak and their numbers few, but they are desperate, so handle them with care."

Tauriel and the elves drew off to the side, arguing heatedly with each other in Sindarin. Bella murmured to Fili, "Are we going to bother to tell them that we all pretty much speak it."

His eyes dancing with mirth, Fili shook his head, "Nah, leave them alone. They have a lot on their minds."

Tauriel came back over, "If you don't mind riding quickly, I'll get you through to Erebor as fast as I can and then we can mount an offensive to take out these foul creatures for once and for all."

Bella eyed the excited elleth, one encounter with the creatures having been more than enough for her. "What are we talking about?"

"If we ride at a fast pace and take the elf path, I can get you through the woods in three days. But I would need all of your words to never divulge or use this path unless given specific permission by an elf."

All of them ready to be home and desperately not wanting to spend weeks in Mirkwood once again, the company eagerly agreed to her terms.

True to her word, Tauriel drove them hard, only stopping when it was too dark for the ponies to see and resuming their trek at first light. It was late on the third day when they finally reached the far edge of the trees. They halted at the tree line and Bella carefully dismounted, groaning as her muscles protested. She mumbled to Fili who had come over and offered her his arm to stabilize her while she walked and stretched, "I thought that I was used to riding, but that was intense." She glanced over to see Kili and Tauriel kissing and grumbled, "How come they get to kissy face?"

Fili chortled at that, "You're never going to let him live that down, are you?"

She laughed, "Of course not, it's hilarious. The way his eye twitches every time I say it is priceless."

Tauriel came over and bid them goodbye and gave Bella a brief hug before melting back into the woods. Bella frowned at Kili, "Aren't you going with her?"

He shook his head, his expression despondent for a moment before resuming it's normal cheerfulness, "No, this is part of her duties. She'll meet me at Erebor when she can. Besides, there's no way that I'm missing you and amad meeting."

Bella rolled her eyes but couldn't help the twinge of fear that she felt. "I hope that she'll like me."

Kili swung easily back into his saddle, "Amad's going to adore you. However, when she finds out what happened between Thorin and you, she's going to be fit to be tied."

Reluctantly remounting, Bella frowned at him, "What happened is between Thorin, Fili, and I. It's no one else's business."

Kili just shrugged, "I still want to see you and amad meet. Come on, we might just be able to catch the last barge of the day."

They were too late to catch the barge, so spent the night camped on the shores of the lake, comparing how the this journey had been compared to the quest and all the things that the group was looking forward to in Erebor. Bella carefully pushed down her growing uneasiness, not wanting to worry either Fili or Dwalin. Everything was going to be all right. Instead, she chose to focus on all of the positives. Everyone was alive and well, she wasn't banished, and the company didn't hate her. Also, she was betrothed to Fili and daughter to Dwalin. Everything was going to work out this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I could've written a chapter for each of the stops along the way. However, I know that we're all dying to get back to Erebor and see the reunion (And the wedding, and their eventual family, and the rest of their lives, lol), so I kept each stop fairly brief.
> 
> Praying for love, strength, hope, and healing. We are strong together!
> 
> Next chapter: A long awaited reunion!


	32. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the last chapter, there will be more. However, enjoy this chapter, lol.

Bella was up with the dawn, unable to sleep any longer with how her nerves were on edge. She had dressed carefully in her cleanest, least worn set of clothes, making sure that her feet were neatly brushed and presentable. She cobbled together a breakfast with the last of their supplies, figuring that since they would be in Erebor shortly, they would be able to eat once they'd gotten there. The rest of the group were chattering happily about who they wanted to see and what they wanted to eat once they reached the mountain. A raven had found them that morning, so Fili had sent word that they would be arriving that day. The large stately bird had bowed before taking off to carry word to those who were waiting.

Bella was silent, her anxiety eating at her, but not wanting to bring down the cheerful mood of the company. Dwalin noticed her nerves though and pulled her into a gentle hug. She leaned against his sturdy form, pulling strength and comfort from his solid presence. Finally, she pulled back and gave him a small smile. He chucked her gently under the chin and a small nod before turning and packing up his belongings.

Then the barge was there and they were scrambling to load themselves and the ponies onto it. Remembering her fear of the water, Fili sat in the center of the boat and pulled her down onto his lap. Fishing out his comb, he started working through her hair, humming gently. Once he was satisfied that he had gotten all of the snarls out, he started twisting it into braids, much more elaborate than she was used to.

Distracted from the water and their impending arrival at Erebor, she asked curiously, "What are you doing?"

He finished a braid and immediately started another one, "These are just the more formal versions of your braids. These ones declare you a daughter of the line of Fundin, they hold the place of honor since we're not yet wed. When we marry, they will move to the secondary place and the braids marking you as part of the line of Durin will move to the most prominent place. You're betrothal braid will remain the same, but I've added some braids here that mark you as a future princess of Erebor. Since we're betrothed, not just courting, that will help emphasis our promise to each other."

He paused for a moment, weaving several smaller braids into an intricate larger one. Once he was satisfied that he had it just so, he continued, "These ones here mark you as part of the company of Thorin Oakenshield as well as dragon riddler. Finally, these last little bit declares your craft of horticulture, although I have left your status indeterminate. I know that you're a master, but you'll have to be approved by either one of the guilds, or if there is none, then by Balin."

She rolled her eyes, "There's no way that I'm a master."

He shook his head stubbornly, "You are definitely a master. There, all done."

She motioned Dwalin over, "Adad, tell him that I'm not a master horticulturist. Also, these braids feel ridiculously elaborate."

Dwalin examined her hair closely then nodded his approval to Fili, "Good work lad, they're downright fetching." Turning his attention to Bella, he said quietly, one corner of his mouth quirked up in amusement, "Sorry, natha, the lad's right. You've got a gift with plants. Also, those braids are fairly simple, but elegant. So many dwarves think that more elaborate is better, never realizing how ridiculously overdone they look. You want lines that you can appreciate, ones that compliment a story, instead of trying to cram every last bit of your deeds and such out there."

She muttered, "Traitor." However, she knew that he could see the affection in her eyes as well.

He held out his hand and lifted her easily to her feet. "C'mon, we're almost to the other side. Get ready to disembark."

She nodded, moving over and gathering her pack. She was relieved to see that Dwalin had spoken the truth, they were almost at the other side of Long Lake already. The trip had seemed much faster this time, although she wasn't totally frazzled from Mirkwood, so that probably had something to do with it as well. Examining the land, she was pleased to see it covered with green, unlike the bleak desolation that they had crossed last time.

The boat nudged against the shore and she braced herself absently against the pony. She had never thought that she'd be back here, never thought that she'd see the silhouette of Erebor standing solitary and proud against the sky. She hadn't realized how much it would feel like home. Bofur moved over to her side and stood silently for a moment before asking quietly, "Good memories or bad, lass?"

She sighed, rubbing the pony's nose absently, "A few bad, but mostly good. You know, I never thought that I would see her again. I know that I wasn't there long, but it felt like home to me. Sometimes, it was almost like she sang to me. I've missed it here."

Bofur smiled at her, "See, it's a sign that you're meant to be with us where you've heard Erebor's song. She doesn't sing for those she doesn't like, you know. C'mon, we'd best get moving now if we want to reach Erebor while we still have the light."

Bella pulled herself away from her thoughts and started leading the ponies off the barge. It took only a minute for everyone to disembark and mount up. The whole group was eager to reach the mountain and the kin that were awaiting them there. She distracted herself from thoughts of the impending reunion by observing the land as they rode. Every so often, she would point out a spot that would be particularly good for one crop or another. She'd caught the smug glances that Fili and Dwalin were exchanging. This was simple knowledge, something that any hobbit would know.

It only took a few hours ride to reach the front gates of Erebor. Bella abruptly reined her pony to a halt, taking a minute to drink in the imposing edifice. It had changed drastically since the last time she'd seen it, carefully repaired with enormous gates gleaming in the sunlight. She observed the battlement dispassionately, surprised to find that she had no fear of it, no revulsion or loathing. It just, was.

However, the thought of all those waiting on the other side of the gate suddenly terrified her. Dismounting, she fought to even out her breathing, her head starting to swim. Suddenly, Fili's arms were there around her. "Amralime, what is it? What's wrong?" The arms around her tensed, "Is it the wall? I didn't even think of that, ghivashel."

She shook her head, burrowing her hands into the fur on his coat. "It's not that, I do not fear it, it is just a place to me, nothing more."

He ran his hand soothingly up and down her back, "Then what is it, love?"

She leaned further into him, "I can't do this, Fili, I just can't."

She tipped her face back just in time to see him frown, "Can't do what?"

She pleaded silently with him for him to understand, "I can't do this, I can't be a princess. You were raised all your life knowing and preparing for the crown and the throne of Erebor. But I'm just a hobbit, they will hate me for sure. And what about the rest of the company? What if they hate me when the memories come back. I don't think that I'm strong enough for this."

His frown disappeared and he leaned down, pressing his forehead firmly to hers, his lips turned up in a tender smile, "Ah, this again."

Her eyes narrowed at that cryptic remark, "What do you mean by that?"

The smile deepened, his eyes warm and such a bright blue that they reminded her of a perfect summer sky, "This is Beorn's all over again. You are worried about things that may never come to pass. I may never sit on the throne, Thorin may marry and have children, replacing me entirely. Even if he doesn't, it will be years and years before I take the throne, time to learn and get to know the dwarves of Erebor and for them to know you. All who know you cannot help but care for you, even stubborn dwarrow. As for the company, well, you have carried the memories of us all this time, although you do not know what happened after you left Erebor. However, my memories have come back in full, they were all desperately worried about you. Even more so after we learned about the armies. There was almost a coup right then and there. If we hadn't lost our memories of you, we would've torn apart all of Arda to find you and bring you safely home."

She let out a weak chuckle, "I'm being foolish, aren't I?"

He shook his head, "No, never foolish. Cautious. But let's take it one step at a time, together, all right?"

She leaned up and pressed her lips gently to his, pulling back before he could return the kiss. She smiled impishly at him, "Why did I have to fall for such an overwhelmingly practical dwarf. Very well, we'll take it as it comes and see what happens. But remember, Dwalin's my adad now, so if thing's go wrong, I reserve the right to set him on you." She stepped away from him before she could give into temptation and kiss him again, she'd held up proceedings long enough.

Fili chuckled quietly at that, offering her his arm, "Ah, you are quite cruel indeed." When she took his arm, he questioned softly, "Are you all right or do you need another few minutes? We have the time."

She shook her head, "No, best to get this over with before I fret myself to death." She turned her attention to where the rest of the group were patiently waiting for them. She asked curiously, "Why didn't they go ahead?"

He pulled her fractionally closer, "We're not entering Erebor without you again. Now go reassure your adad, he's beating himself up about not saving you that morning."

Giving Fili's arm a quick squeeze that she hoped conveyed just how much she loved him, she released him and made her way over to Dwalin, "Sorry about that. Silly fears. Not the battlements, oddly enough. You know, I can't even tell that it was broken and I saw it firsthand? Dwarven architecture is surely a marvel."

Dwalin tucked her close to his side as they started across the bridge that led into Erebor, "If not that, what were you fretting about, mizimith?"

She frowned up at him, "It just struck me that I'm going to be a princess. I don't know how to do any princessy stuff. The dwarves are going to hate me and I don't blame them. But Fili made me promise to take it one day at a time."

Dwalin chuckled, "I wondered when that was going to sink it, took a lot longer than I expected it would. And lass, you've seen Kili, you'll be just fine. Besides, ninety-five percent of being royalty seems to be pretending that you know what you're doing and ordering people around."

They reached the hall inside the gates and the sight of it took her breath away. When she had been in Erebor, the foundation had still been strong, but it had been damaged and in disrepair. In the time since then, it had been repaired to it's former glory and the magnificence of it stole her breath. That was until she heard the joyous cries of reunion.

She was turning her head to look, when something came flying at her head. Her hand snapped up automatically and she snatched it out of the air, wondering who had attacked her. Opening her hand, she was puzzled to find a coin pouch. A low whistle split the air and a familiar voice said, "That was for Dwalin, your reflexes have improved, little burglar."

Turning her head, she grinned at the star headed dwarf standing there. Shoving the purse into Dwalin's hand, she dashed over and hugged Nori hard. He laughed and hugged her back tightly, picking her up and spinning her around. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes! We've missed you, sneaky one!" He set her down on her feet and she carefully observed the rest of them.

Dori was checking Ori over carefully, making sure that he hadn't come to any harm while he was away. Bofur and Bifur were chatting with Bombur and a brood of children that would make a hobbit proud. Kili was being hugged by a dam that looked a lot like Thorin, the Lady Dis if she guessed correctly. The rest of the company was absent, but she figured that she would see them at the evening meal. It made no sense for all of them to come and greet them while they had work to do.

Bella beamed at Nori, "Oh, how I've missed all of you as well, impudent one. And I bet that your ego's only grown since Thorin has named you spymaster."

Nori preened at that but before he could say anything, Balin bustled into the hall, slightly out of breath. "Sorry that I'm late, everyone. Meeting ran over a bit."

Dwalin grinned brightly at that and roared, "Brother, we're home."

They bashed their foreheads together and Bella couldn't quite hide a wince. She didn't think that she'd ever quite get used to that form of greeting. The reunions were noisy and joyous, but the chatter died when Dwalin boomed, "Come nadad, and greet your iraknatha."

Nori turned and examined her, just now seeming to notice her braids. He muttered, "Now, that was something that I wasn't quite expecting. Thinking back over the quest though, it doesn't surprise me." She smiled, waiting to see how long it took him to realize that he remembered her. His eyes widened just as Balin bustled over and swept her into a hug, touching his forehead gently to hers in greeting.

Balin beamed at her, "Well then, lassie, welcome to the family. Mahal has blessed us indeed to get such a fine lass as you in our family. And it is such a relief to see you alive and well. We didn't know what they would find when they reached the Shire and it troubled us greatly when we realized that we couldn't remember you."

Bella had to blink back the happy tears burning at her eyes. She smiled up at him, giving him a brief hug, "That's a story for another time, when we are gathered someplace with just the company, someplace private."

He nodded his understanding and pulled back, looking her over carefully. His eyes twinkled when he examined her braids, "It's good to see that you and the lad worked things out. Not to mention that Erebor could really use a master horticulturist."

Dwalin grinned at him, "That's what I told her, nadad, but she refused to believe me."

Fili chose this moment to come over and steal her away, both Dwalin and Balin letting her go with understanding nods. Swallowing hard, she vaguely wished she was wearing something nicer before they were standing in front of the regal dwarrowdam that had been hugging Kili. "Amad, this is my Bella. Bella, my amad, Dis, daughter of Thrain, son of Thror."

Bella went to curtsy, but Dis's hand under her chin stopped her. The dam studied her closely for several moments, seeming to take in every aspect of Bella. The Dis let her go and pulled her into a warm hug, "Welcome Bella, heartsong of my eldest. I am relieved that he found you and that you have returned with him to us and Erebor. I can't wait to get to know you better, daughter."

At Dis's warm words, Bella's heart melted and she hugged her back fiercely. Although she didn't truly know Dis yet, she had a feeling that her mother would've liked the other woman and that was good enough for her. Not to mention that you just had to look at her sons to know what kind of woman she was.

Dis pulled back and looked her over before fussing, "Now look at you, all over road dust, weary, and hungry to boot. Why don't we go get you cleaned up and fed and you can tell me about some of what happened on your journey to Erebor."

At the thought of being clean, Bella nodded eagerly. Dis said, "Good, that's settled." When both Fili and Dwalin protested, Dis only shrugged, "You'll get her back at dinner time, maybe. Now go get cleaned up yourselves, you stink like pony."

Bella couldn't quite rein in her snickers. She had the sudden feeling that she and Dis were going to get along excellently.

* * *

Dinner was a merry affair, all of them rejoicing at being back together. Bella got to meet Gemma, Gloin's wife, who truly was as extraordinary as Gloin said, as well as Gimli, who was a mini Gloin. Bombur and his quiet wife Klevi had half a dozen pebbles and they brought joy to the entire company. If she'd thought that the first dinner at Bag End had been chaotic, this one was ten times more so. But this time, she wasn't surrounded by strangers but by family.

It wasn't until after dinner and the little ones had been tucked into bed that the talk turned to more serious things. It started off simply enough, the trip to the Shire and back. But then, it could be put off no longer and Bella told the tale of what had happened and all that had followed. The entire company was wide eyed and silent, Dis clinging to her sons as if they would disappear in front of her very eyes.

While she told her tale, Bella discretely watched Thorin. She knew that he had regained his memories, having seen the strain and hurt in his eyes every so often when he looked at her throughout the night, although he tried to keep up a cheerful demeanor for the rest of the company. When she finished her tale, Bella knew that the time had come to deal with Thorin, to lay to rest the incident once and for all, one way or the other. She met Fili's gaze and he nodded, his eyes warm and supportive.

Bella stood and moved over in front of Thorin. She said quietly, "I thought to have this meeting alone, Thorin. However, I think that since the entire company witnessed the event, they should witness this as well."

Shame filled his eyes and his shoulders slumped, "Whatever your wish, Mistress Baggins, I will obey."

She nodded firmly. "Thorin Oakenshield, king under the mountain. Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror. I have thought long and hard about what I would say or do should I ever meet you again. It has been months since then, indeed, nearly years, much of that time spent alone." He flinched at that, sinking further into his seat.

She didn't hesitate, but kept going. "That morning on the wall, you tried to kill me. I was shocked and hurt, it's true. Never would I have thought that possible. But in my journeys, I have come to find many things that I thought impossible happened, both good and bad. For that, you owe me a life debt." He went to speak and she held up a finger. "However, even during your goldsickness, the core of who you are remained." She pulled down her collar just enough so that he could see the edge of her mithril shirt. "You sought to protect me, knew that I was someone important to you and your kin. You gifted me with a mithril shirt that had been Dis's when she was younger. This gift proved to be invaluable, saving me many times on the battlefield and trip home. Thus, I consider your life debt repaid many times over."

He looked up at her, his expression confused, but she didn't allow her train of thought to be derailed. "The journey we went on, was a journey to reclaim your home that had been lost. One that was successful, Erebor was your home once more, although circumstances were unfortunate. I understand your pain, for that day, my home of Erebor was lost to me. However, there was a second journey, one that reclaimed my home for me and led me back here. Because of this, I understand better who you were and are."

She took a deep breath, holding his gaze and refusing to break away, "However, neither of these are the reason that I forgive and absolve you of your wrongdoing and ask for a promise. I forgive you because you were sick but not only that, your sickness was exacerbated by an item that I carried, an item that you had no knowledge of. The ring undoubtedly made the sickness worse. I forgive you because when it came down to it, you managed to do what no one else had done, not even your grandfather, and throw off the sickness. When you had to decide what was truly important, you chose the lives of your kin and your people, willing to give up your very life and everything that you had worked and fought so hard for."

She turned and smiled at Kili and then Fili, her heart, before turning back to Thorin. "But there is one more thing, one very important thing. When Mahal gave me the offer, my memories for your lives, I didn't stop and hesitate. I didn't argue that it was better if just Fili, or just Fili and Kili came back, it was all three of you or nothing. I didn't hesitate, I didn't have to think, all three of you were equally important to me. I was willing to never see the three of you again, so that ALL of you might live the life that you were meant to. You had apologize to me and I knew that you were you again, and I knew that you would make an incredible king and leader of your people. I have never doubted that."

His eyes were wide but his voice was steady as he asked hoarsely, "And what would you have me promise you?"

She smiled at him, her happiness at being back where she belonged shining brightly, "I'm not saying that it won't take time to regain the trust that was broken that day. As it is, you and Fili and you and Dwalin are going to have to figure out how to move forward from here. But I want you to promise to work towards building that future with us, towards being a real family again. I want you to promise me that you will work on forgiving yourself, for circumstances that were quite frankly beyond your control. And I want you to promise to take this second chance and live life fully, not just scrape and get by and do your duty like you have for so long. I want you to be happy and I want to be a family here in Erebor, until the end of our days."

Tears were in his eyes as he bowed his head, his voice hoarse and laden with emotion, "I promise you, Mistress Baggins, all of these things that you have asked for. And should you ever need anything, just say the word and it will be done."

Going over and cuddling into Fili's lap, suddenly feeling exhausted now that she had gotten that all straightened out and needing reassurance from her love, she managed to say cheekily, "How many times must I say it, Thorin? It's Bella. I'm going to be your niece, for Yavanna's sake. You'll have to get used to it sooner or later."

Thorin offered her a half smile, doubt and disbelief still in his eyes, "Bella then. I shall do my best to remember."

Fili's arms tightened around her and she snuggled happily into his chest. "Good, you do that." Yawning widely, she said, "Now, where can I sleep? I'm exhausted."

This managed to break the solemn mood that had fallen over the room, the company laughing at the sight of a very sleepy hobbit. Bella just yawned again and closed her eyes, pillowing her head on Fili's shoulder. The hardest part was over now, it would take time to truly heal, but they all had that time. Everything was going to be all right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, for everyone thinking that Thorin took this waaaay too calmly, understand that the poor guy is in major shock. One, he only remembered what had happened when he arrived at the dinner. Two, dwarves carry grudges, forever the end, so Bella's forgiveness throws him for a loop as well. He will have to still deal with all the guilt and the angst, but this chapter was about dealing with new beginnings and homecomings.
> 
> I hope that makes sense.
> 
> Praying for peace, happiness, and health. We are strong together!
> 
> (Oh, I almost forgot. Dis saw the First gift while she and Bella were having their girl time. She pronounced it exquisitely done, which come from a gold smith of her caliber, is high praise indeed.)


	33. A New Erebor, New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been a bit, springtime on a farm is busy, lol. Enjoy

When she woke the next morning, she had no recollection of ever making it to a bed. The last thing that she could remember was the dining hall and cuddling with Fili after talking with Thorin. She lay there quietly, not opening her eyes, but just assimilating the fact that she was actually back in Erebor. Erebor seemed to sense that she was awake and thinking about the mountain, because it sent her a soft hum of greeting. Bella was not gifted with stone sense like dwarves were, but the sound sounded happy and content to her. She smiled slightly, it would make sense that Erebor had missed her dwarves, so she'd be happy to have them back and content once more.

Suddenly her stomach rumbled and she sighed, reluctantly opening her eyes. Sitting up, she yawned and carefully examined her room. Although the company members that had remained here in Erebor hadn't remembered her until last night, it looked like they had still taken care to create a comfortable room for her. She could see small touches from all of them as well as a more feminine touch that could only belong to Dis. It was cozy and she felt at home in it, something that she hadn't felt for months.

Rising, Bella wondered what in the world that she would do for clothes. Everything in her pack needed a good wash and finally being clean, she was extremely reluctantly to put dirty clothes on again. Dis had loaned her a dress the night before, that would probably be her best choice to go with, especially as her items hadn't arrived yet. She wasn't surprised that they had traveled faster than the caravan, especially with Tauriel's help on the last part. And Dori would probably be more than happy to help her craft a few outfits until the rest of her things could arrive, even though he was probably very busy with his tea shop.

Putting on the loaned dress, she was working on sorting out her hair when there was a knock on her door. She called, "Enter."

The door cracked open and Dis peeked in cautiously before opening the door all the way and entering, Dori right behind her. Bella smiled warmly at them, "Good morning!"

Both of them smiled back and Dis spoke, "We thought for sure that you would sleep longer, but Erebor seemed to think that you were up, so we decided to go ahead and check."

Bella shrugged, "I rested enough, now my stomach thinks that it's time to feed it. It's incredible the way that you can communicate so well with her. I get vague impressions, more feelings than anything else."

Dis swiped the comb from her, "That you can actually hear her is impressive in and of itself. Not many non-dwarrow can hear her song and where you were able to hear her even months ago when she was weak and damaged, I think that you're ability will increase in time until you are able to understand her as easily as we can. And I know that Erebor is quite fond of you, calls you her 'earth lass'. Now, it's a good thing that Dori and I are here, you can't go out like this."

Bella shrugged, "It was the cleanest thing available."

Dori tsked fondly, "Now, that won't do at all. It's not the best, but this will do until I can create a proper wardrobe for you." He held out a carefully folded bundle to her.

Bella clutched it to her chest, knowing that it would be exquisite, "Dori, you don't have to do that. I know that you must be busy with your tea shop. I know that it has to be very busy, although I do want to stop by and see it for myself. If you can just help me with a few outfits until the rest of my things arrive, that will be more than enough."

Dori just smiled and shook his head, his expression filled with fond exasperation, "You are family, Bella. This is not an imposition but a privilege to help take care of you. The tea shop will last a few days without my direct supervision I would've had a wardrobe ready and waiting for you, but as you know, our memories of you were missing until you were actually back in Erebor itself. Now, I'm going to go wait in the hall so you can put on the dress and I can see if any alterations need to be made."

Without waiting for her to reply, he made his way from the room and closed the door quietly behind him. Hastily smothering her giggles, Bella obediently began changing as ordered. She murmured to Dis, "I suppose I should just be glad that he doesn't smother me quite as bad as he does Ori."

Dis laughed at that, "As I'm sure you already know, dwarves are stubborn to the core and one of the things that makes them happy is taking care of their kin. Be prepared for lots of spoiling and care from all of them. They've all missed you, even if they didn't know that it was you exactly that they were missing."

Bella rolled her eyes, "And now they'll all feel guilty for forgetting about me as well, as if that wasn't entirely my choice."

Dis shrugged, "Yes, some of that too, although that will fade in time." She added impatiently, "Now, show me the dress. I'm dying to see it, Dori's work is always incredible but to wear one of his creations is a special kind of privilege, because he only makes the occasional piece for friends and family. To have an entire wardrobe designed and created by him? You'll be the envy of Erebor."

Bella shook out the dress and held it up. It was a breathtaking shade of deep sapphire, one that Bella instantly adored. It was a lovely blend of dwarven and hobbit styles, the unique styles had somehow come together to create a seamless whole. He had to have been up the entire night crafting it, from the level of detail and all of the embroidery on it. She slipped it on, marveling at the fit and softness of the fabric.

Dis circled her, looking her over carefully, before exclaiming with satisfaction, "Oh, this is just perfect. This will make the perfect statement, he's a canny dwarf."

Bella tilted her head, puzzled, "What do you mean? I mean, the dress is exquisite and fits like a dream, but what does it say exactly?"

Looking like the cat that ate the canary, Dis said smugly, "That particular shade of blue is called Durin Blue. That in itself is nothing remarkable, although it is more often used as an accent color than a full gown in and of itself. But with Fili's braids in your hair as well as Dwalin's? It will declare you as fully accepted into the line of Durin. The embroidery proclaims your gardening gifts as well as proclaiming your bravery and wits. It makes you look alluringly female but you'll notice that it's cut in such a way that your movements will not be hindered at all. I'm sure that both Fili and Dwalin have worked with you on self defense, so this will not hinder that. This will make an excellent statement to the mountain exactly who you are."

There was a soft knock on the door and Dis called for Dori to enter. His face lit up when he saw the dress on her, hurrying over and looking it over critically. She beamed up at him, "If you're looking for flaws, you won't find any. This dress is gorgeous, Dori! It is mind boggling that you were able to get it done in just a night. And such a blending of dwarf and hobbit styles. You are a true master."

She could tell that he was pleased, even though he fussed about a few tiny things in typical Dori fashion. Once he was satisfied that everything was just so, he left to go get started on the rest, telling her to swing by the Ri home that afternoon.

Once he was gone, Dis steered her over to the vanity and insisted that she sit. Picking up the comb, Dis said happily, "I always wanted a daughter to dress up and do her hair. Don't get me wrong, I adore my boys, but neither of them would've been happy with my fussing."

Bella laughed at that, a picture of Kili with his hair all braided and bowed, a ridiculous pout on his face, popping into her mind. She managed to force out between giggles, "No, I can't imagine that they would have done that. What about your brothers when you were little."

Dis had to think it over for a moment before bursting into laughter, "You know, I'd quite forgotten, you're right. They were most patient with me, but I'll never forget the time that they got such a dressing down from Fundin who was the royal guard master when they showed up late to a training session with all the gems and braids in their hair from where I'd decorated them. However Thorin was stubborn, as I'm sure that you already know, and refused to take it out, saying that I was waiting for them to come back for a tea party after training was over and that he wouldn't make me cry by showing up without it. Fundin really put him through his paces, but I think Thorin won some respect that day."

Bella smiled, just picturing it. "Did you have the tea party?"

Dis frowned before laughing, "You know, I don't remember. But that day of training became such a family legend that we've told it time and time again."

They chatted idly while Dis started doing her hair, pulling something every so often from a bag that she wouldn't let Bella peek into to weave into her hair. Finally, Bella scraped up enough courage to ask the question that was truly weighing on her. "Dis, I need to know, but I don't dare ask anyone else."

Dis's fingers tensed in her hair before relaxing and continuing her task, "And what would that be, natha?"

Bella swallowed hard, "What happened to the Arkenstone? I'm assuming that Bard gave it back in the end, but I still worry about it. The obsessed gleam in Thorin's eyes when he was looking for it. How much of that was the ring and how much was gold sickness, I don't know. But how much was the Arkenstone itself?"

Dis paused and moved so she could met Bella's eyes, her expression somber. She said quietly, "Ah." Bella nodded, her eyes a mixture of fear and uncertainty. "It's good that you asked this when we were alone. You must never speak of this to another person, do I have your word? Fili, Kili, Thorin, and I are the only ones that know of this, no one else."

Bella nodded, "I won't say a word. I just have to know, for my peace of mind."

Moving back to her hair, Dis said softly, "Although he didn't remember them, your words about how the Arkenstone was the literal heart of the mountain had resonated deeply with Balin. He waited until after Thorin had healed and I arrived at the mountain to discuss what to do, making sure to keep the Arkenstone safely locked away where no one would find it. We were, understandably, horrified at the thought that in our greed, we had dealt Erebor such a grievous wound. After much discussion, we returned the Arkenstone, the heart of the mountain, to Erebor. They way that she sung that day was the most dazzling thing that I had ever heard, so breathtakingly beautiful that every dwarf wept unashamedly. It took time for her to regain her strength, but now she is stronger than ever."

The tension in Bella's body eased when she learned that the Arkenstone had been restored to Erebor. Then she frowned, something occurring to her, "But if the entire mountain knows that the Arkenstone was returned, what is so secret?"

Bella could hear the approval in Dis's voice, "The location. For if it had already been dug up once by happenstance, we could not take the risk of it happening a second time, especially if someone is looking for it deliberately. But you have proven that it has no hold over you, beyond the possibility of safety for those that you claimed as yours. It took us a long time to figure out where to place it that it would be safe from being disturbed. However, after much discussion, we found the perfect place. It's buried under the throne. None shall be told of it's location beyond the ruler of Erebor and their heir. There is should be safe from being dug up, for who would dig under a king's throne? And it also serves as a reminder that the throne of Erebor serves the mountain and her people, not the other way around. This is our vow."

Bella blew out a shaky breath. She whispered, her throat tight, "I think that that's very fitting. I could not have chosen better if I'd tried. I swear on the Valar that I shall never breathe a word of it's location, by either word or deed."

Dis squeezed her shoulder gently, her voice warm, "I wouldn't have told you if I didn't already believe that. You can look now, you're ready."

Bella looked in the mirror, her eyes widening in shock as she took in her reflection. The woman who stared back at her was, elegant. But more than that, the woman staring back at her was serene and confident. Her eyes weren't filled with a haunting loss or a bone deep sadness, there wasn't even any fear lurking there, fear of the past or fear of the future. Instead, there was peace, warmth, and happiness. Looking away, she turned her attention to her hair. She couldn't say exactly what Dis had done, but she had managed to work her curls into elaborate braids, woven through with delicate golden chains and jeweled pins. She had left enough of her curls loose though. Much like her dress, her hair was the perfect blending of hobbit and dwarf.

Reaching up and touching a braid tentatively, she asked shyly, "Where did you find such delicate work? From what I've seen, dwarves tend to favor much bolder jewelry." Bella nodded at the gorgeous jewelry that Dis was wearing that would've totally overwhelmed Bella if she had tried to wear them.

Dis raised an eyebrow, "Fili never told you?"

Wondering what exactly Dis had thought Fili had told her, she shook her head, "I'm not sure?"

Dis laughed, "That was rather vague, wasn't it? I'm a master goldsmith."

Bella nodded, "Yes, the boys are so proud of you. I've been wanting to see your creations." It suddenly sunk and she gasped, "You mean, this is your work? How could you even know what would suit me? This is some of the most gorgeous jewelry that I've ever seen."

Dis's smile was pleased as she answered, "When the dreams were happening, Fili kept getting just glimpses of you. He started sketching them until he finally had a cohesive picture of you. When he finally opened up and shared about what was going on, he passed the sketch around. That triggered Ori's memory and he drew a sketch of you as well, although he couldn't remember you either. Between the two of them, I got a good feel for how you looked and your bone structure. I've worked on a few other pieces as well, although I was waiting until I actually met you to do bigger pieces. Plus I'm sure that the other family members will vie for the honor as well. Fili probably still has the sketches if you're curious. Now come, the others will be waiting for us to eat breakfast."

Her stomach chose that moment to grumble again and she rose, laughing. She was glad that Dis guided her to the common room for the company, having not remembered how she got to her room the night before at all, although she had the sneaking suspicion that she had been carried to bed. Something occurred to her and she asked, "Will Dwalin be upset that I'm not with them?"

Dis shrugged, "I don't think so, for two reasons. One, we would've had quarters prepared with Balin and Dwalin if we'd known that he'd adopted you, but he chose to keep it secret to surprise us. Two, you are past your majority so it is your choice whether or not to have rooms with your kin or not, but that is a discussion for after we've eaten."

Bella's stomach agreed heartily and the two women entered the common room laughing. The company had been waiting for them anxiously, almost as if they still thought that it was a dream that Bella had returned and was amongst them once more.

Fili had turned towards them upon their entrance and managed to take two steps towards them before freezing entirely, his eyes wide as he slowly took her in. Bella fought hard not to blush as warmth, awe, approval, and something hotter entered his gaze. Dis cleared her throat smugly and they wrenched their gazes apart. Bella just knew that her cheeks were flushed, but managed to keep her hands at her sides instead of hiding her face like she was tempted to.

Fili managed to get his body under control and came the rest of the way. He bent and kissed Dis on the cheek, murmuring, "Good morning, amad."

Dis smiled at him and straightened his tunic slightly. Her tone was very pleased as she asked, "What do you think?"

Fili's eyes met Bella's once more and his smile was tender, even as his eyes were blue flame, "You've managed to accent her beauty perfectly. You and Dori are wonders, thank you."

Dis laughed, "My, what a charmer you've become. Bella has been good for you, I'm happy to have her as a daughter."

Dwalin came over and snagged Bella, "You can't have her yet, I just got her."

Bella laughed, happily allowing Dwalin to lead her over to the table, "You'll always have me, adad. When I marry Fili, you won't lose me, but simply gain a son. When it comes to true kin, the more there are, the more blessed we are."

Dwalin grumbled, "That may be the case, but I still think you should wait a few years to marry him."

Bella laughed, "I have already waited a few years, adad, since I first me him."

Fili had claimed the chair on the other side of her and Dis had moved over next to Thorin. She called curiously, "Have you picked a date? I'm sure that the whole mountain will want to join the celebration and festivities."

Bella glanced at Fili and smiled tenderly before calling back, "We'd thought about just doing a small ceremony with the company. But since Fili is the crown prince and will one day be king, and since Erebor has been reclaimed with all it's wealth and traditions, we knew that that wouldn't go over like it might have during your years outside of the Lonely Mountain. I don't know what a ceremonial royal wedding looks like and neither did the others, so we were hoping that we could be wed in three months time, six months at the absolute most."

Dis thought hard for several minutes before sharing a significant glance with Thorin. He sighed and nodded, but everyone could see the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. Dis nodded firmly and declared, "Three months it is, we'll find a way to make it work. You two have gone through enough and have been separated for too long as it is. So here's what we'll do. After breakfast, everyone is to go about their business as usual. Those of you who have just returned, you have the day off to rest and recuperate before jumping back into work. I'm sure that you'll want to show Bella around, Fili, show her how much Erebor has been restored in her absence. Ori, I know that you just got back, but I'll need your help today to scour the library for all the information about royal weddings and ceremonies that we can find. We'll all meet back up at dinner and figure out where to go from there."

Bella gaped at her, but the rest of them just nodded like this was an everyday occurrence. Bombur placed a loaded plate in front of her and teased quietly, "Close your mouth, lass, before the others start making bets about landing something in there."

Bella immediately snapped her jaw shut and nodded her thanks to the stout dwarf. Nori pouted on the other side of the table and she winked cheekily at him, he would be one to actually try something like that. He just grinned and saluted her back, mouthing 'later' at her before turning his attention to his youngest brother.

As the low murmur of conversation rose as the company dug into their breakfast, Fili murmured to her, "You think that it's a waste for us to just stroll around the mountain while the others work and research."

Buttering a roll, Bella asked just as softly, "How did you know?"

He winked at her, "Because you are my very heart, Bella mine. But this actually serves a purpose. It will show the mountain that the heirs are back home. Also, we were very closemouthed about why we left, didn't know after all why you had left, if you were coming back, or whether you were just a figment of my imagination. This will allow the people to become acquainted with you, plus show off our status as betrothed. It will reassure the dwarves of Erebor's security and prosperity for the future. And yes, it'll be nice to show you Erebor properly, what she should look like instead of what Smaug had reduced her to."

Bella grinned happily at him, "Ah, politics, now those I do know. I can't imagine that dwarves are all that different than hobbits and I shall learn quickly. You'll probably have to help me at first though."

Fili tilted his head slightly, trying to judge her sincerity, then grinned back at her, "I have to admit, dwarven politics seem to be much simpler than hobbit politics, that's for sure. I'm sure that you are going to do splendidly. Especially after meeting your mother's family."

Dis frowned at Fili, "And just what is wrong with her mother's family?"

Everyone that had fetched Bella and Bella herself burst out laughing at that question. Bella explained merrily, "Oh, there's nothing wrong with her family, they're just Tooks. Tooks tend to have large families and a very lively bunch, especially when compared to the rest of the hobbits. Still, they're a fair and hardworking bunch, my grandfather will be stepping down as Thain this year in favor of my uncle. Says the role and duties require a younger man's touch. I personally think that he's going to drive grandmother crazy within a week of being retired, but that is not my problem and grandmother can handle him well enough if he gets antsy."

Her careless words caused a minor battle to break out amongst the dwarves. Since there had already been a smaller version of this scene when the dwarves had actually met the Thain, Bella just continued to eat her breakfast calmly. The dwarves that had been in the Shire were laughing and making bets like they hadn't been just as freaked out when they first found out about her relationship to the Thain.

Bella had just finished her meal when Dis finally gained control of the situation, "It's not important that she's related to the Thain other than in a peripheral way. She is not in direct line for the Thainship, which means that there was no crime committed by taking her on the quest for Erebor. In fact, it only strengthens the approval for her and Fili to wed as a female who's part of a ruling family. We'll make the adjustment to the ceremony as needed. Now all of you, scat."

As they made their way out of the room, Bella murmured to Fili, "I take it that it's a no-no for female royalty to go on quests? Is that why your mother didn't go to reclaim Erebor?"

Fili shrugged, looping her arm through his, "Well, yes and no. Someone did have to stay behind and oversee Ered Luin and mother was the best candidate. But there are a couple of reasons that female royalty doesn't go on what's practically a guaranteed suicide mission."

She was able to shrug that off, the events long enough past that they didn't terrify her like they once had. "Let me guess, the first reason is because of how rare females are in dwarven society?"

He nodded, "Yes, although trying to stop a dam when she's set on something is nigh on impossible. Thankfully amad was eminently practical and agreed to stay behind. The second reason comes down to bloodlines, as petty as that may seem. Any child of a royal dam is guaranteed to have royal blood, no matter who the father is. If we had fallen, it would've been her duty to have another child to carry on the line of Durin. Thank Mahal that was not the case."

Bella sighed, inching closer to him, "Well, that didn't happen. So why don't we talk about something else?"

Glancing around, he carefully whisked them into a hidden alcove. His voice dropped, becoming deep and husky, "Ok, let's talk about how you look today. You're an absolute vision and somehow I'm the dwarf lucky enough to have caught your eye. I want to both show you off to the world and hide you away so that no one else can see your loveliness." He pulled her slightly closer and leaned forward to murmur in her ear, "It made me wish that we were already wed."

She sucked in a shallow breath, her hands coming up to rest lightly on his chest, "You shouldn't say such things."

He got a wicked sparkle in his eyes, so she leaned up and kissed him to silence him before he was able to say anything else. He seemed disinclined to protest her method of silencing him, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. They kissed for several minutes until the sound of loud voices passing their alcove startled them apart. Trying to catch her breath and resist the temptation of continuing their kissing, Bella moved a few steps away and smoothed an imaginary wrinkle from her dress. Fighting to keep her voice even and ignoring the way that Fili looked ready to pounce on her again, Bella said softly, "Your mother said something about a tour?"

He gave a long-suffering sigh but nodded, "Aye, I suppose we'd better get moving before any of our relatives come looking for us."

She smirked at him, her heart rate finally starting to slow, "Don't want to have to admit to my adad that you were stealing kisses?"

Fili mock shuddered, "I was thinking more along the lines of Kee teasing us, but I think that we'd better get moving on that tour that I promised you."

She laughed and he smiled warmly down at her. Looping her arm through his, he led them out of the alcove and started down a hallway. After several minutes, she nodded at yet another group of dwarves that they passed and murmured to Fili, "Erebor is so alive. I don't know if I'll ever get used to the sheer amount of people here."

He tucked her slightly closer, trying not to smirk at the speculative murmurs that he could hear, "I know, it's quite different from the last time you were here, isn't it? Erebor isn't quite where she was in her glory days, but she will get there once again, I think."

She offered him a smile that was almost a grimace, "You mean that this isn't as grand as it used to be? I never believed that there could be anything half as grand as this."

He shrugged, "It will never be the Erebor that it once was. Truthfully, Thror's taste towards the end was overblown and gaudy. Since everything happened, with uncle and reclaiming Erebor and all of that, we've been reassessing a lot of things that we once took for granted. However, most of the damage from Smaug has been repaired and all of our people are comfortably housed and fed. That is a blessing that we will never take for granted, especially after so long scraping out a meager living as best as we could. But now we can start focusing on beauty once again instead of just basic survival."

She could hear the underlying tension in his voice when he spoke, knew that he was thinking about the goldsickness. Resting her head briefly on his shoulder for just a moment, she said softly, fondness layering her words, "You know, as beautiful as Erebor is now, I still have good memories of before."

He looked at her incredulously, "What good memories could you possibly have? That time was a nightmare."

She shook her head firmly, "Not all of it. I still remember the day that you rejoined us at the mountain. My heart that had been broken was healed in that moment and I could breathe again. And what about the time where you took me outside of Erebor and proposed to me again, offering to walk away entirely from Erebor if that's what I wanted." Her voice lowered slightly, not wanting anyone to overhear her words, "And that time that you found a working bath for me so that I could get cleaned up? If that's not true love, I don't know what is. Even though I don't know what the words were, the songs that you sang that night wove themselves into my very heart." She smiled up at him and gently brushed his cheek, "There were other bright spots, of course. But my most treasured memories all seem to revolve around you."

The tension in him relaxed slightly and he smiled tenderly down at her, "Right as always, amralime. When Smaug came down from Erebor, I was convinced that the company had perished beneath his flames. When I saw you again, it was like the sun came out and I could finally breathe again. Never had I been so scared in all of my days until that moment." One corner of his mouth quirked a little deeper and his smile morphed into a roguish one. "As for what I was singing, I'll share that with you after we're married."

She said tartly, "It's a miracle that your mother's hair is not entirely white, between you and your brother, I swear." They entered the marketplace and Bella looked around with fascination before she realized that everyone was watching them and whispering. She started to frown before catching herself just in time. Inching closer to Fili, she murmured, "Why are they whispering about us?"

He listened carefully to the whispers for several seconds to confirm what he thought it was before grinning happily, "They want to know who you are, the beautiful, exotic stranger with their crown prince. They've never seen me walking with a woman, one whom is obviously familiar and close enough with me to smile and tease me. They say that they've never seen me look so happy and content. And they are trying to examine your braids, figure out who exactly you are without being too obvious about it."

Bella laughed, "You're making that up."

Nori spoke from right behind them, "He's not. Curiosity is practically oozing from all of these dwarves. I'm sure that by now you've come to realize what a nosy lot us dwarrow are."

Bella laughed again, not noticing the way that this sparked another wave of whispers, "Yes, but you lot have nothing on hobbits. What brings you to our side, Nori? Please tell me that you don't have to steal Fili away for crown prince duties already."

Nori grinned at her and shook his head, "No, not at all. It's my duty as spymaster to be where interesting things are happening in Erebor. And you, little one, are the most interesting thing in the mountain today by far. I'm just here to watch and observe, nothing more."

She rolled her eyes, "What you're saying is that you've made lots of bets with the company and you're here to monitor the outcome. Very well, have your fun." Turning to Fili, she grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together, "C'mon, show me the marketplace. I've never seen a dwarven one and I'm dying of curiosity."

Exchanging one last grin with Nori, Fili allowed Bella to drag him off into the market, following her indulgently as she flitted from stand to stand. He obediently examined the different objects that she showed him, patiently answering her million and one questions. They spent a large chunk of the morning examining the market, even buying a meal from a vendor cart that had set up there.

Finally when she had examined every last inch of the market, and given the dwarves a lot more to gossip about, she told Fili to show her to the archives. He laughed at her, "You're bossy, aren't you?"

She laughed but didn't let go of his hand, "Tomorrow, everyone is going to be busy. I want to pack as much into today as I possibly can. Who knows when we'll have another day just to ourselves."

He chuckled, "I'm the crown prince, I can take as many days off as I want."

She scoffed at that, "We both know that you're much too honorable for that. As it is, I'm scared that I won't see you for a month with as many things as I'm sure have piled up in your absence."

His hand tightened on hers and he said firmly, "I don't care if there's a decade's worth of work waiting for me. I will never again go a day without seeing and being with you. Because being without you is pure torture."

She squeezed his hand reassuringly, "I was just teasing, dear heart. Worse comes to worst, I'll just help you wade through all of your work. We are stronger together, after all."

He chuckled at that, "I don't know if that would be a help or not." When she just frowned at him, he elaborated, "I find you, distracting, amralime."

Her face heated slightly but she grinned cheekily at him, "There is that, that's true. Ah well, we'll find a way to make it work."

They stopped in front of a set of large doors. She sighed, "I suppose that the library is behind these doors. How in the world am I ever going to get in there if I don't have a dwarf with me?"

He grinned at her, mischief sparking in his gaze, "Why don't you try and see?"

Preparing to battle the large door, she firmly on the door, surprised when it moved easily under her hand. Fascinated, she asked Fili, "How? Something this large should not move so easily, it took barely any effort."

He reminded her, "We're dwarves, love, we like to make things work well, otherwise what's the point?" When she just continued to look at him, he sighed, "I suppose that you want to know exactly how it works."

She nodded and they entered the library as he quietly explained exactly how the doors worked, a series of balances and counter balances working together to easily move the door's weight and how they could be turned off with the quick flip of a lever, returning the doors to their normally immovable state so that the library could be safely barricaded.

Hearing their low voices, Ori bustled over grinning widely, "I didn't know if I'd see you today or not."

Bella beamed at him, "I want to see as much as I can with Fili today. This is incredible, Ori. There's been so much progress made in restoration, you can't even tell that it was in total disrepair."

Breaking in before they could get caught up in scholarly enthusiasm, Fili asked, "Is amad still here?"

Ori nodded, "She's consulting with the head librarian in the emerald study room."

Fili turned to Bella and she grinned at him, "Go ahead, dear heart. Ori and I will probably be quite busy for a bit. And this way you can see if your mother has any questions that we need to answer for the ceremony."

Grateful that she wasn't going to make him go through the entire library, he liked books as much as the next person but Bella and Ori took it to another level, he gave her a quick kiss and a warning look at Ori to watch out for her before striding off in search of Dis.

Bella watched him go, a fond smile on her face, before turning her attention back to Ori, "Sorry about that, you were saying?"

Ori grinned at her, "Never be sorry for the love between the two of you, it truly is a gift. Now, what do you want to see?"

She laughed, "Everything! There's so much knowledge and learning here. However, I suppose that we have to start somewhere, so I'll defer to your judgement."

Ori lit up at that, "All right, we'll start in the restoring room then and go from there. You'll have to come back, there's no way that you'll be able to see everything in one day, but I can show you the highlights."

They had fun exploring the library like faunts, wonder and excitement over everything that was going on. Ori was especially excited about all of the progress that had been made while he was gone, looking forward to explore all of the new knowledge that had been restored or brought back to light. It wasn't until they had reached the section where the dwarven histories were stored that they ran into a snag. Or rather, a very unpleasant dwarf, the first that Bella had encountered since her return to Erebor.

Ori had been avidly describing the different histories to her and she was trying her hand at pronouncing a few of the runes that she thought that she'd recognized from her lessons, although their forms were a little older than the version that she was used to. They were laughing over her horrible pronunciation of one when trouble arrived. A middle aged dwarf with a pinched expression stormed up to them and started berating them.  
"How dare you make light of our most sacred histories? This is a library, not a tavern common room!" He glanced at Bella and his face turned red and he rounded on Ori, "And you! How dare you bring an outsider here and share with them our most guarded secret! Some common stranger from who knows where. I know that you're no great catch, but how dare you reveal everything when some * lass bats her eyes at you. You are a disgrace and the king will hear of this! You'll be lucky if you're even permitted to dwell in Erebor after this and you'll never be granted access to the archives again."

From the way that Ori bristled and his eyes filled with rage at whatever the dwarf had called her, Bella decided that it was time to step in. Lightly placing her hand on Ori's arm to keep him from snapping the other dwarf like a twig, which he could easily, she cleared her throat delicately. When the dwarf turned back towards her, she took a moment to carefully inspect his braids. Like she'd thought, although she was no expert by any means, his braids indicated that he was only a low level scribe and the second son of a family line that she was unfamiliar with. Putting on her coolest smile, she said politely, "I don't believe I caught your name, master dwarf."

He bristled and spat out, "I don't have to give you my name, you interloper."

She shrugged, "No, you don't, but it is the polite thing to do."

With ill grace, he forced out, "Durn, son of Lorn."

She was not surprised that he left the 'at your service' bit off. She allowed a hint of disapproval to color her tone, something that would've made any faunt immediately uneasy, knowing that they were in trouble. "Master Durn, may I offer you a bit of advice? I know that Erebor has only been reclaimed for a couple of years now, many of the years before spent trying to survive. However, Erebor is secure and thriving and will undoubtedly become a thriving center of trade, so I recommend brushing up on your manners and etiquette as well as learning discretion."

If she thought that his face was red before, Durn's face was downright apoplectic. He growled, "You beardless hussy, how dare you?"

He added several more words that she didn't know, although from the way that Ori's arm was tensing under her hand, they were extremely derogatory. She cut in when he showed no sign of stopping, "That's enough!" When his jaw snapped shut and his eyes filled with extreme anger, she spoke before he could, her voice in the tone that the company had dubbed as 'scary Bella'. "I tried to have a dialogue with you, but it seems that you are bent on your own self destruction. Very well then, we'll do this your way. You are a scribe in the great kingdom of Erebor. You are one that is supposed to be drawn to knowledge and learning, examining each thought and person critically to try and divine it's true nature. You, sir, are a disgrace!"

She gestured sharply at herself and Ori, "If you had taken a moment to observe the visitors to the library, you would've noted our braids, which spell out plainly everything that you need to know in how to deal with us, as well as how to approach us with either a quiet reproach or an offer of assistance. Instead, you charged in like an enraged bull when we did not meet whatever imaginary criteria you have decided upon. And if that is not bad enough, you had the gall to verbally attack a higher ranking dwarf than yourself with foul accusations. Ori of the line of Ri is not only a royal scribe apprenticed under the royal advisor, Balin, son of Fundin, he was also a member of the company of Thorin Oakenshield. Your declaration that the king will hear of Ori's misdeeds are laughable. Ori has traveled with the king himself, chronicled the company's journey, and even fought by the king's side. Who do you think that Thorin will believe when it comes down to it?"

Durn had paled several shades by this time, but held his ground stubbornly, hissing, "Who do you think you are?"

Bella's expression morphed into a sharp grin, one that made Ori flinch back slightly. She said pleasantly, her tone so sharp that it could cut the very air, "Oh, I'm so glad that you asked. Since you are incapable of reading braids, I'll be happy to spell it out for you. I am Belladonna Baggins, heart daughter of Dwalin. I am the fourteenth member of the company of Thorin Oakenshield and have faced down both the white orc and Smaug himself. I am the One of Fili, crown prince of Erebor and he is my heartsong in return. I helped reclaim this very mountain with only my wits, blood, and courage alongside a company of thirteen incredible dwarves, none of which were you. So if you have an issue with my presence in the mountain or my learning Khuzdul, then by all means, feel free to take it up with Thorin himself."

A delighted peal sounded from Erebor, singing warmly through the air and wrapping happily around Bella. Moments later, arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her against a firm chest. Fili's voice rumbled through her, "Problems, ghivashel?"

Repositioning herself so that she could see Fili's face without leaving the circle of his arms, she thought carefully before answering. She didn't want Fili to have to fight all of her battles, she knew that she would more than likely run into more ignorance, especially if Fili weren't by her side. However, she wanted to make it crystal clear that she and Fili were an impregnable unit. Smiling up at him, she nodded slightly, "Yes, I have it under control, but I would appreciate your thoughts on this matter. Without bothering to offer us any courtesy or even ascertain who we were, Master Durn overheard me trying to pronounce some Khuzdul. It was a poor attempt, I must admit, but it was not done mockingly. He then had the temerity to threaten to have Thorin throw Ori out of the archives and possibly even out of Erebor entirely. When I suggested that Durn should take a minute and assess his audience, using proper manners and etiquette, he devolved to name calling. You'll have to ask Ori what was said, I'm afraid that my Khuzdul in that area is lacking."

Fili turned to Ori and spat something in rapid Khuzdul. Ori answered just as rapidly, his expression furious and a muscle in his jaw working overtime. From the quiet gasps behind them, Bella suddenly realized that they had grown an audience, but didn't bother looking. Once Ori finished speaking, Fili growled, "What happened next?"

She leaned into his side for the barest of moments to try and reassure him, "Since he didn't seem to understand the gravity of the situation, I explained that he was actually attacking a dwarf that outranked him, not only that but that he was attacking one of the heroes of Erebor. He then demanded to know whom I was, which I was informing him of when you arrived, I believe."

By this time, Durn was several shades paler and sweating profusely. Dis chose that moment to come forward, smiling warmly at her while she rearranged one of Bella's curls, one of those unconscious touches that mothers instinctively did. "Yes, Erebor is very pleased to have her earth lass back. She claimed you back when you claimed her. The whole mountain heard her joy."

Dis turned and looked coolly at the dwarf before looking back at Bella, "Hadn't your braids already clearly informed him of who and what you are? And I know that word has already flown through the mountain about you. I've overheard at least three dwarves talking about you, and that was just this morning. And to address a dam in such a manner, I'm appalled."

Bella had to bite back a sigh when she heard the familiar sounds of Thorin and Dwalin talking as they made their way through the library. She muttered just loud enough for Fili to hear her, "I just wanted a quiet first day back, but no. Adad and Thorin are looking for us. Is there any way that we can get out of this gracefully?"

Fili's arms around her tightened briefly before he let her go and laced his hand with hers. He drew himself up to his full height, his eyes hard, "It sounds like you have dealt with the issue admirably so far, milady. What is your wish for the consequences of his actions?"

Squeezing his hand tightly and praying that she wasn't about to make a muck out of everything, she said firmly, "Master Durn has been the first dwarf to treat me thus in the mountain. That shows that Durin's folk for the most part are an accepting and gracious people. However, it troubles me that he felt comfortable demeaning a stranger and a dam, as well as a fellow scribe. Especially as he is part of this wondrous library, meant to be filled with knowledge and enlightenment. Still, one cannot know the scars and histories that others bear as well. If possible, I would like him to be removed from his position of scribe in charge of this section. Instead, I wish for him to undertake translating all the laws of Erebor into both common and Sindarin as well be at the service of any scribes that need an extra hand. I also wish for him to enter a training rotation with the soldiers. Life outside of the mountain was chaotic, but maybe routine, service, and discipline will help him understand that Erebor is a safe haven and the library in particular is a refuge for all that seek knowledge."

Fili nodded, his expression pleased, "It shall be as you say." He turned to the dwarf that had accompanied Dis, "See to it, Master Hardin."

The white hair dwarf nodded serenely, "It shall be done as you wish, Lady Belladonna. I am Hardin, son of Dorn, at your service. I oversee the library and you are most welcome here any time that you wish."

Bella inclined her head as well, "Bella, daughter of Dwalin, at yours. I thank you for helping in this matter. I ask that you make sure that he is not abused because of this incident, that the others do not attack him or try to press all of their work onto him. This is an unfortunate incident, but I hope that it's one that we'll all learn from."

Hardin inclined his head, "It shall be as you wish, Lady Bella. If you'll excuse us?"

He waited until both she and Dis nodded before taking Durn and sweeping out of the section. Dwalin and Thorin chose that moment to join them, having obviously heard part of the conversation. Before they could ask, Dis and Ori started filling them in.

Bella tugged on Fili's hand, "Can we go? Dori said to drop by this afternoon for a dress fitting and I find myself in need of some of his tea."

He nodded and lead her out the opposite side of the aisle from where the others were gathered. He murmured, "You know that they'll just want to discuss it at dinner."

She shrugged, "That's fine, I just don't want to air it all in public and you know that both your uncle and adad are going to be upset over the incident." She paused before asking hesitantly, "Did I do all right or was my decision totally undwarven?"

He smiled warmly down at her, bringing up their linked hands so that he could brush a kiss over the back of her hand, "You were utterly magnificent. A little more merciful than a dwarf would've been, but all of the company knows that you are tender hearted indeed. I was so proud of you, you did marvelously, amralime."

She smiled shyly at him, "Thank you, I was worried. But I knew that if Dwalin and Thorin got involved, it would've been total chaos. And should he not change his ways, I leave that totally up to you."

He chuckled at that, "I don't think Erebor is prepared for you. You change things for the better, but in the most unexpected of ways. I know that the company was quite unprepared, but I'm grateful for the way that things turned out."

She groused at him but could quite hide the smile tugging at her lips, "Well, I had to do something. For some reason, half of Arda either wanted to eat or kill you during the quest."

He laughed at that, "Well, it wouldn't have been a challenge otherwise."

Continuing to banter with him as they made their way through the halls, Bella drank in Erebor and the people that now inhabited the Lonely Mountain. This was not what she had expected from her first day back, she wasn't even sure what she had expected, but she was truly happy to be back here. It felt like home, something that she'd been missing for a long time. As she teased Fili, she smiled again, the future was shining so brightly ahead of them. She couldn't wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters left - The Wedding and The Epilogue


	34. Happily Ever After

Bella slipped easily through Erebor, deftly carrying a loaded tray in her hands. It was late enough in the evening that most of the dwarves had gone home to their families, but not so late that the corridors were entirely deserted. She smiled at the dwarves that she did pass and many of them smiled back at her. In the nearly three months since she'd been in Erebor, she'd become well known to the dwarves and well liked as well.

Reaching her target, she tapped lightly on the door and waited for Fili to call for her to enter. Slipping inside, she used her heel to close the door gently behind her. Fili looked up from the document that he was reading, surprise crossing his face when he saw her. "Bella, what are you doing here?"

She grinned at him, "Bringing you dinner. I knew that you'd get busy and forget to eat. And it looks like I was right."

She waited while he cleared aside some of the papers before setting down the tray in the cleared area. Standing behind him, she gently rubbed his shoulders, trying to ease the tension from them. "Trying to get all of your paperwork done? It won't work, you know. I swear that paperwork multiplies when you're not looking at it."

He sighed, leaning into her touch, "Trying is definitely the key word here. If I'd known that there was so much paperwork in running a mountain, I would've begged uncle to find another way."

Dropping a kiss on the top of his head, she teased, "Ah, but then you wouldn't have met me and then where would you be?"

He pretended to think about it and Bella laughed. Moving away so that he could concentrate on eating, she shuffled through the paperwork to see if there was anything that she could handle for him. He took several bites before asking curiously, "What are you doing here anyway? Not that I'm not glad to see you, of course, but I thought that amad would've had you locked in your chambers for the rest of tonight and tomorrow morning."

Bella offered him a tired smile. "She wanted to, so I proposed a trade. Since tomorrow is sure to be insanity and we won't really have a minute to ourselves, I was allowed to bring you dinner. However, I promised to return to my room as soon as you are done eating." She pouted at him, "If I'd known what a trial weddings are, I would've eloped with you in the Shire like you originally offered."

He offered soothingly, "It's only one more day and then we'll be all done with it. I, for one, am looking forward to no longer having to tell you good night and leave you. And to think, this is a short betrothal. Some dwarven couples court and wait for over a decade before they officially marry."

She rolled her eyes, "I still think that's ridiculous. And it's been over three years since we first met. Most hobbits would be married with a couple of babes by now and possibly even a third on the way."

He just shook his head and laughed, "So we're neither hobbit nor dwarf, but we're perfectly us. You know, most dwarves would think that you're lying about hobbits. It was even hard for me to believe at times and I saw it myself."

Carefully sorting the piles into different piles, she just shrugged, "If it's any consolation, I found dwarves very odd as well. Only one or two children per family and most of them male. It's odd to be so pampered just because I'm a lass."

He said wryly, "Oh yes, it's because you're a lass. It has nothing to do with the fact that you are Dwalin's daughter or a future princess of Erebor."

She shot him a stern look, "You know what I'm saying is the truth. You all spoil women, not that I can complain. All of you are very sweet, it's just odd is all."

He rolled his eyes, "You have a very strange idea of spoiling. Most of what we do is just common courtesy, what anyone would do for any other dwarf. Although I do admit that Dwalin and Balin do dote fully on you, but that's only to be expected of an adad and irakadad with their natha and iraknatha."

She smiled warmly at that, "I always knew that Dwalin was a protector and caretaker, but I didn't realize what a soft heart he was hiding. He's so adorable at times, I love it. Yavanna has blessed me greatly in my second family." She sighed and set aside the papers carefully, finally meeting his eyes firmly for the first time since she'd entered the office. She asked softly, "Did you ever think, when we first met, that we'd ever end up here, together?"

He shook his head immediately, "I could've never imagined the richness and color that you would bring into my life. I never thought that I would meet the love of my life while on an impossible quest to rid the world of a fire breathing beast, a quest that was almost guaranteed to fail." He reached out and picked up her hand, running his thumb soothingly back and forth over her knuckles. "But if you're asking if I would change a thing? The answer is no. Every moment we went through brought us to where we are today, helped shape us into who we are today. And you are a precious treasure that I would pay any price for. What we have is worth waiting for and worth fighting for."

She let out a huffed sigh, her eyes glowing with love, "How is it that you know exactly what my fears are?"

He offered her a crooked grin, "Because you are my heart and I am yours. Also, your fears are mine as well. I often wonder if you regret this or if you would change anything. Then I meet your eyes or you smile at me and I know that you don't regret a thing, that you are happy here, with me, and I can breathe again."

She flipped her hand that he held so she could catch it with hers and brought it up to her mouth for a gentle kiss. "Forever, dear heart, you and me forever."

He nodded and added quietly, "Until the world itself is remade."

She had to break her gaze away, her heart so full that it was overflowing. "Now I know why your mother didn't want me to see you until tomorrow when we are wed. She told me that the deeper dwarves love, the more their hearts and minds are filled with tender poetry and sweet words. She was right and it's a heady combination, especially when the sweet words come from the heart and mouth of one that I adore." Taking a deep breath in order to get herself firmly under control, she turned back to Fili and smiled, "I think that I'd best return to my chambers before I abandon all common sense."

He nodded, his eyes gleaming a bright sapphire, "Just one more night, love."

Standing, he walked her to the door, brushing the barest kiss over her lips before pulling back and returning to his desk. Slipping out into the hallway and shutting the door quietly behind her, she muttered firmly, "Just one more night, you can do this, Bella."

She ignored the guard that grinned as he passed her muttering to herself. It was far from an uncommon occurrence to see her muttering to herself about one thing or the other and all of the guards seemed to have a soft spot for her because she was Dwalin's daughter, so she knew that he wouldn't spread it around, although it would probably get back to Dwalin that she was talking to herself again.

To her surprise, she rounded a corner and almost ran right into the dwarf that she'd just been thinking of. He steadied her and she smiled up at him and asked, "Adad, what are you doing in this part of Erebor? I didn't think that I'd get to see you until tomorrow because of your shift."

He shrugged turning and strolling down the corridor with her, "I was looking for you, got someone else to cover my shift. Dis said that you'd gone to take dinner to the pup and promised to come right back, so I thought I'd join you while he ate, haven't seen either of you in days it seems like, getting all the security set up for the wedding tomorrow."

She linked her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the way that she always felt so safe with him. "We both decided that it was prudent to keep our meeting brief. And I know that this had been a nightmare to handle in such a short time, adad. What all of you have done is nothing short of a miracle. And after tomorrow, everything can go back to normal." She chuckled, "Although as to what exactly normal is, your guess is as good as mine."

He grumbled but there was no true heat behind it. "I've no idea, been so busy trying to keep one fool Durin or another out of trouble for so long now that I have no idea what normal looks like either."

She laughed, the sound echoing off the walls of Erebor and she heard the mountain hum happily back to her. "And now you have to add me in to the fool Durin's as well, poor adad." She hugged him, smiling when he hugged her gently back. "Hey, since you're off duty tonight, do you want to come and spend the evening with me? We can talk and you can tell me embarrassing stories about Thorin and the boys when they were young, if you want."

He grinned widely at that, "Now that's truly a tempting proposition, how could I possibly say no to that?"

They walked slowly back to her rooms, chatting about how their days had been and what they expected the morrow to be like, coming up with increasingly impossible scenarios. They found Balin waiting at her rooms, having a last little bit of paperwork for her to go over, so they invited him to stay as well. Much to Bella's surprise, he accepted with alacrity.

Dis was still waiting in her rooms when they entered and the four of them spent a wonderful evening filled with tales and laughter. Balin and Dwalin took the opportunity to fill her in on some of their ancestors and all of them took great joy telling tales about Thorin, Fili, and Kili. Bella shared stories about herself and growing up in the Shire, as well as her parents and her many, many relatives.

In one of those naturally occurring lulls that happen in any conversation, Bella asked worriedly, "I'm so glad that you're all here, but what about Fili?" Dis raised an eyebrow lazily in inquiry from where she was sprawled comfortably in a chair, her feet propped up, so Bella elaborated, "He's as bad as I am about fretting. I don't want him to work all night in an effort to distract himself."

Dis laughed and waved her concerns away, "Don't worry about Fili, Kili and Thorin promised to drag him away at a reasonable time and keep him from fretting."

Bella sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered, "I will KILL them if they somehow mess this up, see if I don't." Letting her hand drop, she huffed out a laugh, "Well, too late to fret about it now, we'll deal with whatever happens tomorrow. After all, things can always go sideways at a wedding. There was this one time when..." And with that she was off, telling about the time that one of the Shire weddings had to deal with an invasion of frogs released by mischievous faunts in an attempt to score a coup on the wedding feast table.

By the time she finished, both she and Dis were laughing so hard that tears were streaming down their faces while both Dwalin and Balin were watching them, deeply concerned. When they finally managed to compose themselves, Dis climbed to her feet. "We all had better get to bed, we're getting rather loopy and it's going to be a long day tomorrow." She hugged Bella, "Get some rest and I'll see you in the morning, love."

Bella hugged Dis back fiercely before going and hugging Balin and Dwalin just as tightly, thanking Yavanna once again for blessing her with her second family. She closed the door softly behind them, smothering a yawn as she glanced at the clock. Almost midnight. Goodness, she'd been going since dawn, no wonder she was exhausted. But like she told Dwalin, after the wedding things would calm down and life would be easier.

Changing into her nightgown, she crawled into her bed, thinking absently that it would be her last night spent here. After tomorrow, she would be sharing rooms with Fili. All of her items had already been moved to their new suite, the only items left was her wedding dress hanging in her closet and the items that she would need in the morning. She sighed happily as she snuggled into her pillow. She couldn't wait for the morning.

* * *

She had just risen when there was a soft knock on her door. Shoving her unruly curls out of her face, she wrapped her robe tighter around herself and peeked out the door. Dis and Tauriel were standing there, carrying a loaded breakfast try. Biting back a yawn, her nose twitched as she drank in the delicious aromas, "Is that coffee?"

Tauriel grinned at her, "Yes. And if you let us in, we'll let you have it."

Realizing that she was keeping them standing in the hallway, she hastily opened the door and beckoned for them to come in. Tauriel grinned and handed her a cup of coffee as she passed, Dis following and closing the door firmly behind them. Setting the tray down on a low table, Tauriel turned and examined her, "What in the world is going on with your hair?"

Bella sighed, "Every so often it does this and totally rebels. Usually I just throw a handkerchief over it and wait until it relaxes a bit, but that obviously won't work today." She took a sip of the coffee and sighed happily. 

Dis circled her, eyeing her hair carefully and picking up a curl here and there before letting it fall. Finally she said firmly, "This is fixable. You should've seen the mess the boys hair would be after some of their adventures. And of course they would squirm and refuse to hold still while I tried to sort it out. I can't even begin to count the number of times I had to threaten to shave them bald before they would sit still long enough for me to fix their hair properly."

Both Bella and Tauriel giggled at the thought of Fili and Kili as pebbles fussing and squirming while Dis tried to fix their hair from where it was filled with leaves and twigs from their adventures. Dis sighed but couldn't stop her own wry smile. "Just wait until your pebbles are big enough to get into everything and then see how amusing you think it is."

Bella choked slightly on her coffee while Tauriel spluttered wordlessly. Finally Bella managed to regain her composure enough to say, "Amad, we aren't even married yet! Give us a bit to adjust to that before you start talking about children."

Dis's sapphire eyes sparkled, "Well, a mother can hope, can't see?" She eyed Bella's hair again, "I'm going to go get some more tools to help with that hair, neither of you are to leave this room." With that, she slipped out of the room and was gone.

Once they were sure that she was gone, they stared at each other, aghast. Bella muttered, "Sweet Yavanna! It's not like we don't all have plenty of time. We're not even married yet. And can you imagine Kili as a father?"

Tauriel paled a shade, "Eru! I love him with all my heart but it's not yet time for that. We haven't even picked a date for our wedding yet, Thranduil is just now starting to accept our relationship."

Bella's eyes widened as she realized something else, "Not only that, Tari, but you know how protective dwarves are. Can you imagine how everyone will react when we're expecting? Green Lady, I'll never be able to get a moment of peace."

Both of their eyes widened at this and they wordlessly agreed to change the subject. Feeling more awake now that the coffee had started taking effect, Bella observed Tauriel closely. The elleth had on a lovely, elegant green gown, her bright hair pulled back from her face with silver hair ornaments that allowed the rest to flow freely down her back. Studying the hair clasps closely, she discovered that they were intricately wrought into what she assumed were constellations, the fine touch clearly Kili's work. "You look lovely, Tari. Kili's not going to believe his eyes when he sees you like dressed like that."

Tauriel lit up at that, although her smile was shy, "You really think so?"

On the journey home, Tauriel had confided in Bella that she had never really had any close female friends, too busy training to become a forest guard and Legolas had been her friend as well, so she wasn't completely alone in the world, but it was close. Bella grinned at her, "I know so. He loves you so much, Tari, that he would give you the world if he could. As it is, he's done his best to give you your stars. And I think that he's very lucky too. Of all the women in Arda, I'm blessed to have you for a sister."

Tauriel sniffled and then scowled at Bella, "None of that now. I refuse to cry on your wedding day. I look a fright when I cry, my skin turns pale and blotchy and my nose gets all red. No, everything must be perfect."

Dis chose that moment to bustle back in, "Don't worry, Tari, everything will be marvelous, it wouldn't dare be otherwise. Bella, you need to eat up so we can start getting you ready!"

Not willing to risk Dis's ire, Bella obediently at her breakfast, even as her stomach was churning with excitement. Today was her wedding day! 

As soon as she was finished eating, Dis settled her at her vanity and got to work on her hair. Knowing exactly how frustrating a task that was, Bella felt sympathy for her. But no matter how much the hair fought back and Dis snarled increasingly dark things in Khuzdul, her touch was gentle and she never pulled or yanked it. Instead, she just kept coaxing it along until she was able to braid a section and then moved onto the next.

Dis was just putting on the finishing touches about mid-morning when there was a quiet knock on the door. Frowning at it suspiciously, they'd left strict orders that they were not to be disturbed, Dis motioned for Tauriel to go and see who it was. Just barely cracking it open, the elf maid found Kili standing on the other side. They spoke quietly back and forth before Tauriel told Dis, "Kili says that he has a wedding present for Bella from Fili."

Dis sighed, but her smile was fond, "Well, go ahead and let him in then." Once he was inside, she said firmly, "If you breathe one word about how Bella looks to your brother, I'll make sure that you're stuck on archive duty with Ori for a month."

Kili swallowed hard and nodded to his mother, "Yes, amad, I won't say a word, promise."

Turning, he made his way over to where Bella was sitting right at Dis slipped the last hair pin in. He studied her closely, "You look lovely, namad. Fili is a very lucky dwarf indeed."

Bella smiled softly at him, "Thank you, Kee. That means a lot. How is he?"

Kili shrugged good naturedly, "Calm but impatient. He misses you. He sent this for you." He carefully held out a wrapped package.

She took it curiously, thanking him absently. The package was light and not very big. Setting it into her lap, she delicately unwrapped it, covering her mouth when she saw what lay there. It was a delicate silver crown crafted to look like a flower crown made of moon flowers. She gingerly reached out and traced a blossom, murmuring, "It's beautiful. I've never seen such delicate work."

Dis picked it up and settled it gently onto her braided hair. Turning Bella so she could see her reflection, she declared, "Perfect for the princess that you are."

Noting how her hairstyle worked flawlessly with the crown, Bella blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling and accused, "You knew about this."

Dis grinned about her, "Of course. Fili showed it to me so that I could make sure that your hair was properly arranged for it."

Bella rolled her eyes but smiled at her. Turning back to Kili, she said, "It's perfect. Tell him I adore it."

Kili's cheeks turned pink and he sighed, "There's also a message."

Bella's curiosity increasing, she nodded for him to go ahead. Clearing his throat awkwardly, Kili said, "He said to tell you that the first night you met, when he went after you, he found you sitting there in the moonlight, your feet in the stream as you worked on weaving together a flower crown. You were humming as you worked, something soft and sweet." Kili paused and then forced himself to go on, his embarrassment clearly evident, "The moonlight highlighted your dainty features, made you look ethereal. He'd never seen anyone as beautiful as you, you took his breath away. When his memories were first starting to come back, he couldn't remember your face, but he remembered that flower crown and knew that he was missing something infinitely precious."

Bella sniffled, her heart melting all over again. Standing, she hugged Kili, "You're a good brother, you know that? Can you take a message back for me?"

Kili hugged her back and sighed, "Of course, namad, but I refuse to pass on a kiss."

Bella chuckled at that, "Nothing like that. No, just tell him that I love him and that I'll see him at the alter."

Kili assured her, "A horde of orcs couldn't keep him away."

Bella released him and stepped back, carefully wiping her eyes, she said tartly, "Now you've gone and jinxed it. If a single orc shows their face, I will hold you responsible."

Kili just laughed and Dis ordered him out so that they could finish getting ready. Stealing a quick kiss from Tauriel, Kili took off. Once he was gone, Bella hurried into her gown, a gorgeous creation that Dori had created for her. It was a gorgeous mixture of dwarven and hobbit styles. She had shown Dori the portrait of her parents wedding and he had managed to incorporate elements of her mother's dress as well, from the sweetheart neckline to the lace sleeves. Along the cuffs, neckline and hem of the gown, there were dwarven runes for health, happiness, prosperity, and family embroidered in a silvery thread. Although knowing Dori and dwarven craftsmen, it might be literal silver thread. But by far the most stunning feature was the moon flowers embroidered in garlands at the hem of the dress. Dori must've known about the crown as well, although he probably didn't know about the meaning of it.

Bella asked, "Does Fili know about the dress? Is that why there are moon flowers on it?"

Dis shook her head, "No, like the crown was his surprise for you, the dress is your surprise for him. Dwarves aren't allowed to see the wedding dress until the wedding day, it's tradition."

Tauriel helped Bella with her make up and then left to go search out the company, saying that she'd let Dwalin know that they were ready for him.

Once Tauriel was gone, Dis turned to her, her expression serious. "This is a most joyous of days. However, since your parents cannot be here, I want to offer a blessing in their place. Is that all right?" 

Bella nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Dis took Bella's hands in hers, "On this day, your wedding day, as you leave our family to make a new one of your own, we offer this blessing on you. That your house never know hunger, but even during lean times, you are fed by your love for one another. That fear and sorrow never darken your door, but if they do, that the strength and light of your love drive them away quickly. That in good times and ill, famine and feast, may you always remember that they are the other half of your heart. Hard times will come, fights will happen, but tend and nurture your love for one another so that when these storms of life come, your love can survive the battering. And with every year that passes, we pray that your love for one another only deepens and richens, like a fine vintage, a shining example to hand down to your children and their children."

Dis gently brushed away the single tear that escaped Bella's eye with her thumb. "Now, for my blessing. Today, you are to wed my son, my firstborn. But instead of losing a son, I am gaining a most precious daughter. Jewels and gold dim next to your worth. When his father and I dreamed of his future, we could never have foreseen such a beautiful, strong young woman that he would give his heart to. Today, I am entrusting you one of my greatest treasures, for what greater treasure can a woman have than her children? Guard his heart fiercely because he loves deeply and without reserve. Make a home at his side and love him always. But know this, you are our family and blood of our blood. Should you need anything, you only need to speak. Food, clothing, shelter, a safe haven, all that we have is yours. Be glad, my daughter, for today is the start of a marvelous new adventure, one that you and Fili will walk on side by side for the rest of your lives."

Bella's voice was thick with tears as she forced out, "Thank you, amad. My heart is indeed full this day."

A heavy knock on the door interrupted her before she could break down into tears. Releasing Bella's hands, Dis jumped briskly to her feet and headed over to the door. Dwalin was on the other side, raising his hand to pound on the door again. Dis teased, "My, you're impatient. Come in, quickly now."

Dwalin rolled his eyes as he stepped through the door. "It's yer son that's the impatient one. He's about to wear a hole in the floor from his pacing, although I can't blame him. The two of 'em have been waiting for a long time now." 

Turning to face Bella, his face softened as he took her in. He said gruffly, "Now, aren't you a picture? Loveliest bride I've ever seen. I still don't think he deserves you, but he obviously makes you happy, natha. I give you my blessing and wish you all future happiness."

Bella came over and hugged him tightly, "Thank you, adad. Love you."

He hugged her firmly, making sure not to use too much of his strength, "Love you too, little one. Let's go get you married."

* * *

They paused outside the closed doors of the largest ballroom, the throne room with it's narrow walkway deemed unsuitable for the ceremony. Dwalin tucked her arm through his and she took a deep breath to steady herself. He teased, "There's still time to back out, you know."

Bella shook her head, a dreamy smile on her face, "No, it was too late the day I opened my door and first saw him. I just didn't know it at the time."

He huffed a mock sigh before grinning down at her, "Very well, let's get this done then. Those of the line of Fundin never go back on their word."

Right then, the doors were pulled open and music started. Bella would never remember much of walking down the aisle, too busy looking at Fili, his eyes filled with awe and love as he smiled at her from where he was waiting at the alter. When asked who gave her away, Dwalin replied and then gave her hand to Fili and gave Fili a stern glance before going and sitting down. Thorin married them in a beautiful ceremony that was a mix of hobbit and dwarven tradition. Then it was time to say their vows.

Holding her hands tenderly, Fili started, "Bella, when you first came into my life, I was baffled. Because how could a perfect stranger make me feel such peace, feel like home? But my heart already knew what was going on, that you were my other half, you were my home. All that I am, I offer to you know. I offer you shelter, so that you might rest easy at night. I offer you warmth against the cold reality of life and it's sorrows. I offer a future by my side, where I will act as sword and shield to protect you from all harm, a fire to offer you warmth and security, food so that you will not be weak and hungry but beautiful and strong. Your beauty has drawn me, your strength has captured me, your heart has humbled me, and your love has blessed me. I will walk beside you all the days of my life, through joy and sorrow, good times and bad. All that I am, I am yours." He pressed a kiss to her knuckles to seal his vow.

Gripping his hands tightly, she spoke, "Fili, that first night that we meet, I gave my heart into your keeping, although I did not know it at the time. You are my other half, my heart and home, the only one that completes me. I know that life's storms will come, but I have no fear, for you are with me. Your honor, courage, strength, heart, and laughter are all so bright that they are formed from mithril. For all the days of my life, I offer you my garden, so that we may flourish and grow together. I offer you my heart and home, so that you may always have a safe haven and a place to rest, even should the rest of the world turn against us. I offer you my future. Wherever the path may lead, I will walk it beside you until the end of our days. In this life and the next, I am yours." She kissed his hands to seal her vow as well, her heart so full that it was overflowing.

A proud Thorin beamed at them and declared, "By the power vested in me as king of Erebor, I now declare you husband and wife. My you guard and love one another for all of your days and forge a new life together filled with love and happiness. You may kiss the bride!"

Fili swooped in and claimed her lips, making sure to keep it brief and chaste. Pulling back, he murmured softly, "Later."

Turning to face the cheering audience, Fili and Bella waited as Thorin announced, "I give you Crown Prince Fili and his One and wife, Princess Belladonna. May their marriage be a long and happy one!"

Taking her hand, he led her down the aisle and out of the ballroom. Once they were out of the ballroom, she asked curiously, "Where are we going, husband?"

He froze at that, his back going ramrod straight, before whisking her into an alcove and proceeding to kiss her breathless. He fought to regain control of himself, having to take a step back and move himself out of temptation. "They have the reception set up in the other ballroom. It's our job to get there first and greet the guests as they enter."

Bella teased, tamping down the desire to just skip the reception all together, "I think that we might not make it there first because of this little break."

He gave her a crooked grin, "They wait a couple of minutes because there is some kissing expected. However, I also happen to know a shortcut, wife."

A warm little thrill ran through her at that and she said breathlessly, "You know, I quite like the sound of that."

Pressing a kiss to the back of her hand, he muttered, "Stupid traditions" before tugging her out of the alcove and leading her through some back halls. They made it right before the first guests arrived and greeted each one as protocol dictated before moving onto the next. Bella knew that her cheeks would hurt later from smiling so much, but she was so incandescently happy at the moment that she couldn't bring herself to care.

It was hours later that they finally got a moment to themselves again. Stealing her away from their parents, he whisked her onto the floor for a waltz. Tucking her close, he maneuvered them easily across the floor as her grumbled, "Everyone needs to quit hogging my wife. It's our wedding day, not theirs."

Bella laughed, laying her on his shoulder, "They're just happy for us, love. And we have the rest of our lives ahead of us, let them celebrate." She relaxed further into his hold. "Weddings are exhausting. I'm so tired, Fee."

He smiled tenderly down at her, dropping a kiss on her head, "It's all over now. Kili's going to make us a distraction in just a couple of minutes and then we can slip away and get some rest. We have the next two weeks entirely to ourselves, so there's no need to rush."

She was stretching up to kiss him when a loud crash came from the far side of the ballroom. Without her noticing, Fili had managed to get them quite close to the doors, so while everyone's attention was on what had caused the noise, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room. Giggling madly as they raced through the halls, Bella asked, "What in the world did Kili do?"

Fili shrugged and grinned at her, "I can't say for certain, but if I had to guess, there were several sets of armor displayed in that part of the room, so he must've knocked them over somehow."

Bella laughed even more at that, "Remind me to do something nice for him in return."

Fili slowed until they were walking at a more reasonable pace, deeming that they were far enough away to be safe, "I already have. I promised to help him sneak out early when he and Tauriel wed. Now that we're married, amad will most likely be turning all of her attention on getting them wed."

Bella moved over until she was tucked up against him, "Very sneaky, husband. I approve."

He wrapped his arm around her, tucking her even closer. They talked about the day as they strolled through the halls to their rooms, Erebor's song a contented hum in the background. It had taken two quests, soul dreams, and over three years to do it, but they were finally married. Now their next great adventure stretched ahead of them, the rest of their lives together as husband and wife. They couldn't wait to see what it would bring, knowing that it would be filled with hope, love, and laughter, but most of all, they would be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, where has the time gone? They're finally married. I almost believed that this day would never come. All that's left is the epilogue. I am both very happy and kinda sad that we're coming to the end of OIMD. When I first started writing this, I never anticipated what this story would grow into. But there was this one very stubborn hobbit lass who insisted upon the story being told right.
> 
> I hope that you all have loved this story as much as I have, even though I was often as surprised as you must've been at the twists and turns that it took. Maybe someday there will be a sequel about their life and kids in Erebor. Maybe a companion fic of Kili and Tauriel getting married, I just don't know.
> 
> But I do know this. Dearest readers, this story would not have happened without you. I treasure each and every one of your comments, kudos, and hits. Knowing that there were other people out there as invested in Fili and Bella as I was pushed me to keep telling their story. So thank you and here's to many more stories together.
> 
> Praying for hope, love, and wisdom. We are strong together!


	35. A New Adventure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter. Enjoy!

Bella walked slowly through the mountain, enjoying the sounds of life and joy in the mountain. It was hard to believe that so much had changed in just a few years, not even a handful since they had reclaimed Erebor. Her steps sped up as she caught sight of the dwarf that she had been looking for. Her husband of nine months had promised her that they had time for lunch together today and she was going to hold him to that.

He turned when she called his name, his face lighting up when he saw her. The dwarves he'd been talking to smiled and bowed, leaving. Bella wanted to protest, but they were already gone. So instead, she went and stood right next to Fili and said softly, "Hi."

He looped his arms around her and murmured back, "Hello, wife." He bent and kissed her warmly but remembered their surroundings and pulled back much too soon for both of their tastes.

She smiled brightly, "Hello, husband. Ready for lunch?"

He grinned back and she frowned as his face started swimming in her vision. Before she could ask what was going on or hear what Fili was saying, darkness pounced out of nowhere and swallowed her whole. Because of this, she missed the chaos that followed.

* * *

She woke slowly to the sound of low agitated voices. She frowned, trying to hear what they were saying. She forced her eyes open when she recognized Fili's voice, anxious and frantic. Now, what in the world had caused him to sound like that? She looked around, slowly realizing that she was tucked in their bed, with several blankets piled on top of her. Ah, that explained why she was so hot. Shoving all but a few off of her, she pushed herself into a sitting position. What had happened and why was she in bed? The last thing she remembered was, oh. That explained it. She sighed, this was not how she wanted to tell him. Still, his voice was bordering on hysterical, so she'd better tell him and quickly.

Raising her voice, she called, "Fili, love."

He was in the room in seconds, Oin and the rest of his family hot on his heels. He climbed on the bed and scooped her carefully into his arms. He started carefully examining her and breathed, "Bella, you're awake. How are you feeling? Are you ill? Why didn't you say anything?"

She glanced at the rest of them and Kili was clinging to Dis, his face pale. The frown furrow was back in between Thorin's eyes. Oin look baffled. Dis was doing her best to be strong for her boys, but she could see the worry clear in the dam's blue eyes. She sighed, she had never meant to upset her family so. Weaving her hand through Fili's, she said quietly but firmly. "I'm all right, but can I have a minute alone with my husband, please?"

They clearly wanted to protest but she looked at them pleadingly and they caved. As they filed into the other room, they all glanced back at her. However, when Dis glanced back, she could see the wheels turning in the dam's head. Finally the door closed and she was alone with Fili. She turned her full attention to him and gasped. He was haggard and he looked absolutely wrecked.

Now this wouldn't do at all. She reached up and pressed her lips to his, trying to reassure him. When he didn't respond, she drew slowly back. There were tears in his eyes and she felt her eyes widen at his distress.

His voice was hoarse and broken when he asked, "What's wrong, Bella? Are you dying?"

She couldn't help the tiny laugh that escaped her but she immediately apologized, "I'm sorry, Fili, it's not funny, I'm sorry."

He pulled her into his arms and started rocking her. "What's going on, Bella? One moment you were fine and the next you were unconscious in my arms. Talk to me, Bella. I'm losing my mind here."

She reached up and cradled his face in her hands. "Oh my love, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry." She sighed. "This is not how I wanted to tell you."

His gaze grew haunted. "So you are ill. Why haven't you said anything."

She shook her head, "I am not ill. And I didn't say anything because I wanted to be sure before I spoke to you. I'm not dying, Fili. I'm with child. We're going to have a baby."

He just stared at her, his mind struggling to process what she was telling him. He breathed, "But you fainted."

She traced an hand over his cheekbone and down his jawline, "I'm not sure, but I think that that's normal and happens sometimes. My body is changing, adjusting so that it can carry a new life. I didn't eat today, I was so excited for our lunch. I'm sure that had something to do with it. I'll have to speak with Oin and your mother, but I'm just fine, Fili, husband mine. So breathe, everything's going to be ok."

Her news finally seemed to sink in and his eyes widened, "You're sure?"

She shrugged, her tone wry, "Not completely, but I had my suspicions and today seemed to confirm them."

His gaze dropped to her stomach and he tentatively placed his hand over her stomach. She placed both of hers on top of his and smiled tearily at him. He breathed, "You mean I'm going to be an adad?"

She gave a rather watery chuckle. "Seems that way, and it's too late to back out now."

"Oh Bella." He cupped her cheek and pressed his lips to hers. She kissed him back, allowing him to feel her love, contentment, and happiness. 

After several moments, she pulled back. "Go call your mother and Oin in, we can confirm it, and then let the others know before they worry themselves into an early grave."

He nodded, reluctantly pulling himself away from her side. Striding over to the door, he yanked it open and called curtly, "Amad, Oin. We need you."

He waited until they were in the room before closing the door firmly behind them and going and rejoining Bella on the bed. The two dwarves moved over to the side of the bed and Dis looked back and forth, between her poleaxed eldest and the tiny hobbit lass who was fairly glowing as she met her eyes.

Dis said softly, joy in her voice, "You're expecting, aren't you?"

Bella nodded and said rather breathlessly, "I think so, we just need you two to confirm it."

They spoke for several minutes before determining that it was indeed happy news. Fili wanted her to stay in bed, but Bella insisted upon getting up and sharing the good news with their family waiting anxiously in the other room.

* * *

When Bella had dropped, Fili had given an agonized roar, thinking that someone had hurt or killed her. Kili was there within seconds, his blades out as he kept watch for his brother who was focused on the limp hobbit lass in his arms. He barked, "What happened?"

Fili was examining her frantically, "I don't know, she was talking and then she just went limp. I can't find any blood. What do I do, Kili?"

Kili answered him immediately, "Take her to your rooms, it's safe and defensible. I'll go get Oin."

Thorin joined them at that moment and told Kili, "Go, I'll guard them."

Sheathing his blades, Kili ran as if a balrog was chasing him. He prayed that she would be conscious when he returned to the room with the healer in tow, but she was still limp and unresponsive. Dis had appeared while he was gone and it was all he could do not to cling to her like a frightened child, but Fili needed her more at the moment. Oin looked Bella carefully over, but didn't find anything noticeably wrong with her.  
Leaving her to sleep as her breathing seemed to be clear and easy, they moved into the other room and tried to figure out what had happened. This was the closest that he'd come to seeing his brother lose his mind since that terrible soul dream where he remembered what their uncle had done to his One. As he was begging Oin for answers, they heard her call for them, well for Fili anyway.

They piled into the room and found her sitting up, her color good and her eyes clear and alert. Fili wrapped her up in himself and Kili found himself clinging to their amad for comfort. They couldn't lose his sister, please Mahal. It just wouldn't be fair. But then she was kicking them out, and his heart fell to his feet. However, he noticed that instead of looking upset like she had before Bella woke up, their amad looked thoughtful.

When he asked her what was going on, she just shook her head, but shot Thorin a speaking look. Thorin raised his eyebrow incredulously but when Dis didn't deny or shake her head, he relaxed. Kili knew that he was missing something, but just didn't know what it was. Right at that moment, Fili opened the door and called curtly for their mother and Oin.

As they vanished behind the door, Thorin moved over and rested his hand on his shoulder. "Relax, sister son, your namad is going to be all right. If it's what your amad thinks it is, it'll be time for rejoicing, not sorrow."

He said curtly, "What's going on, uncle? What did you get from just a glance?"

Thorin shook his head, "I'm not going to say anything and tempt fate. We'll know soon enough, one way or the other."

The wait seemed interminable until the door opened and they all came out, including Bella. Seeing his distress, she held out her arms to him. Not caring that he was acting like a dwarfling, he cuddled into her embrace, trying to impart his strength to her. She stroked his hair soothingly, smiling up at him. "I'm all right, nadad. Now come over to the couch, Fili and I have news."

He followed her obediently, not taking his eyes off of her. They sat and she murmured, "Look at your brother."

Fili stood in the middle of the room, his expression all over the place, joy and worry clearly warring on his face as well as looking slightly poleaxed. Seeing Kili's distress, Fili beamed at him. "Bella's fine, Kee. But we have a question for you."

Unsure, Kili said slowly, "What is it?"

Fili's grin turned positively dopey, "What do you think about becoming an irak'adad?"

Kili frowned for a moment until what they were telling not telling him sunk in. He whipped his head back around and whispered, "Really?"

Bella beamed up at him, "Yes, your amad and Oin agree. Next year, our pebble is going to join us."

Kili let out a whoop, scooping her up into a gentle hug. Of course, this was the scene that the rest of the company had to burst in on. They tumbled through the door, out of breath with panicked expressions. Dwalin growled, "We came as soon as we heard, is Bella all right? I was on patrol, what happened?"

Bella stood and went over to soothe Dwalin, "I'm fine, adad. You didn't need to cut your patrol short, I'm perfectly fine."

He just grunted, checking her out to the best of his ability. Once he was certain that she wasn't obviously injured or in pain, he reluctantly allowed her to return to the couch and sit next to Kili, who still looked stunned.

Kili laughed, tears streaming down his face. "She's fine, everyone."

Fili laughed as well, grinning brightly at the company. "I'm going to be an adad. We're going to have a pebble."

This of course devolved the group into utter chaos. Bella quickly slipped back into the bedroom so she could catch her breath and Dis followed her. Listening to the happy chaos in the other room, she asked Dis incredulously, "Are they always so exuberant about babies?"

Dis smiled at her, enfolding her in a gentle hug. "Babes are incredibly rare. The last one was Bombur's youngest thirty five years ago. That you're with child already is a great blessing. It's no wonder that Oin didn't think about looking for that."

Bella laughed, "With hobbits, the first babe usually comes within a year of being married and not always nine months, if you get my drift. In fact, hobbits would be downright scandalized by the amount of celebrating going on out there."

Dis stared at her, "The first babe? Within the first year?"

Bella giggled at her shock. "Oh yes. Hobbits usually have anywhere between four to eight faunts, usually only a year or two apart, five at the outside. My mother was one of twelve, nine sons and three daughters, although that was on the larger side. However, if I remember right, one hobbit family still holds the record with sixteen faunts."

Dis sank to the floor as if her legs wouldn't support her anymore. "Sixteen, you jest."

Bella plopped herself comfortably down beside her, "No, it's the honest truth, twelve lasses and four lads. Don't expect that many grandchildren from me and Fili though. We haven't discussed it, I just haven't thought about it and I'm sure if what you said was true, he wasn't expecting it for quite a while, but I refuse to have more than six. Half a dozen is more than enough, I think."

Dis swayed alarmingly and Bella sighed, "Don't fret about it yet, let's just focus on this babe. I hope that this one is a single though, if they're going to be heir, that will make it easier."

Thorin joined them on the floor, chuckling at seeing the ladies sitting there calmly on the floor while the males rioted in the other room. "What do you mean, single?"

Feeling rather impish, Bella said, "Well, uncle, amad and I were just talking about the size of hobbit families. Most have four to eight faunts, although my mother was one of twelve and one Shire family had sixteen. I won't have more than six though, I think. But not to fret, let's concentrate on this pebble first. I'm hoping for a single faunt, although twins and even triplets run in my mother's side of the family."

Thorin frowned at that, although his eyes were wide, "What do you mean, twins and triplets? I had thought that my grasp of Westron was good, but I don't know those words."

She did her best to keep from smirking, although she knew her eyes had to be dancing. "Twins are two babies at a time, triplets are three babies at a time. I don't know what the Khuzdul equivalent would be."

Dis roared with laughter, "We have no words describing thus. Hobbits truly are remarkable creatures. I would pay good money to see Fili's face when you tell him that."

Bella shook her head disapprovingly at her mother in law, "He's had a rough enough day already, no picking on my husband please."

Thorin nodded solemnly, "When you dropped, we thought someone had killed you. I am glad that that was not the case."

She blushed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare everyone. Pregnant hobbits need to eat more and I skipped eating this morning because I was excited about lunch with Fili, it won't happen again, I promise."

Fili came and plopped down beside her, scooping her into his lap. She wound her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek warmly. Fili said, "You most certainly will not skip any more meals. I thought that my heart had stopped today love, never again."

She smiled up at him but said sternly, "I'll do my best, but you are not going to keep me under lock and key, mister. Hobbits are hardy creatures and pregnant ones even more so. Women usually work right up until they go into labor and then get up a day or two later, although they may take it slow for the first week or so."

He sighed, snuggling her closer, "I'll try my best, love, but it'll be hard to fight my instincts. You'll have to be patient with me and especially with Dwalin. He looks like he needs a stiff drink, he's both beaming like a loon and looking like he's in utter shock. Once he's recovered, he'll probably hover."

Bella muttered crankily but couldn't quite keep the smile off her face, "Of course he will. I had to be the one insane enough to willingly become part of a family of overprotective, paranoid dwarves. I guess it's a good thing that I love all of you to pieces."

Thorin helped Dis to her feet, "We're going to go keep an eye on Dwalin, you two come out when you're ready." He gave Fili a stern look, "And that means soon, nephew."

Fili grumbled but nodded. Once they were gone, Fili slipped his hand over her stomach, his expression filled with awe. "I still can't believe that we're going to be parents, have our own little miracle."

She teased, "Let's see if you still feel that way after all the sleepless nights in our future."

He grinned down at her, "I can't wait! This is going to be amazing."

Permitting herself one more minute of snuggling with Fili before going out and facing the happy chaos that was there family, Bella thought happily that he was right, this was going to be a most marvelous adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gandalf:  
"I will not say, Do not weep, for not all tears are an evil." After all, Madkat will be back with more stories, she is currently going in search of more tales. Until then, do not give up hope. “Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.”
> 
> Until next time everyone, lots of love!  
~Madkat
> 
> We are strong together!
> 
> (Also, I own nothing, but it sure has been fun to play in this world)

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the first chapter! What do you think? Should I continue it? I have a rough story line already planned out but if y'all totally hate it, I'll let it fade into obscurity. Thanks for reading!


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